


The Investigation

by Golikethat, justfollowthebunny



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Police, Anal Sex, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Loki is a cop, M/M, Murder Mystery, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Stony - Freeform, Thor is a cop, Thorki - Freeform, Unresolved Sexual Tension, With A Twist, clueless thor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-02 06:51:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 138,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4050379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Golikethat/pseuds/Golikethat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/justfollowthebunny/pseuds/justfollowthebunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor and Loki are detectives who are thrown together to solve a murder mystery.  It seems their local gay community has been targeted by a serial killer, and They are to work undercover to seek him out.  This isn't the best summary.  I promise there's a lot more to it than that!  :-)</p><p>** So GoLikeThat wants to redo all the artwork on this fic.  I think it's his effort to get me to get my butt in gear and write part 2!! We'll be replacing the existing images as GoLikeThat finishes them.  To those of you who've been following "The Investigation", enjoy the new images, and I promise to start posting part 2 soon.    If you're new to this work, welcome, and we hope you enjoy the ride!<br/>Current chapters with art: 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19, 21, 23, 25, 27 29, 31, 33, 35, 37 and 39</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here it is, my first attempt at fanfiction. I've been a Thorki fan for a long time, and have been writing this for a while, so I've decided to start putting it out there, see what everyone thinks. The explicit rating and sex tags are for what's to come in later chapters, so stay tuned. It hasn't been beta'd, so all grammatical errors are mine. Also, I have no in-depth knowledge of the workings of a police department, just the light research I've done for this. A lot of it is fabricated for my own purposes here, so don't take it too literally. 
> 
> Some of the chapters contain artwork which was done by the very talented GoLikeThat. Check out his full gallery on DeviantArt.com. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first NEW IMAGE! Hope you like it :-)

 Thor sat at his desk, his eyes tightly shut as he rubbed his hands over his face, his two-day beard scratching his palms.  He reached down to grab his lukewarm cup of coffee before he remembered he had accidentally dropped some change into it moments before.  “Ugh!” he groaned, swallowing the gulp of tainted coffee.  “Could this day get any worse?” he mumbled as he rummaged through his desk until he unearthed a half-drunk bottle of water from the bottom of a file drawer.  He wasn’t sure how long it had been there, and there was honest-to-god _dust_ on it, but the water inside seemed clean (at least there was no change in it!) so he drank it anyway.  He leaned back in his chair as he thought about the email he had received that morning, detailing his new assignment.  Just the memory of it brought on the stirrings of a major headache.  A pair of murders had been plaguing San Diego for the past two months, their similar details and circumstances prompting the belief that they were dealing with a serial killer.  They had both occurred in the same enclave of stylish high-end homes widely known as the gay community, prompting fear and outrage amongst community leaders, who were demanding action.  The department was pulling out all the stops, trying to get this resolved as soon as possible.  All this he understood.  What he didn’t get was why _he_ had been selected to head the investigation.  And with a partner.  _A partner!_   Thor hadn’t had a partner since his Narc days with Clint Barton.  The two had worked together until he had been promoted to detective.  Since then, he’d proven that he did his best work alone.  Surely his excellent record showed that?  This was somebody's sick idea of a joke. “Well, I’m not doing it.  That simple” he muttered to himself as he rubbed his fingers over his brow.  Suddenly, a crisp and clear voice interrupted his thoughts.

 "Hi, you must be Michael.  Michael Thor?"

 Thor opened his eyes slowly, sporting a frown of annoyance at being interrupted.  His eyes focused and he gasped involuntarily as he saw a beautiful face looking down at him. It reminded him of the angels that had adorned the church he attended as a child.  "Yeah, So?" he mumbled in response.

 The dark haired man stretched out his hand to shake Thor's hand, which he instinctively took.  “I’m John Loki. I'm your partner on this case." he smiled warmly, gaining and maintaining direct eye contact as he spoke.  Thor was immediately stuck by how certain and self-assured he sounded.  His demeanor exuded authority, but not in an oppressive or pushy way.  It wasn’t that he demanded respect, rather than it was expected as a foregone conclusion.  It immediately made Thor feel off-center, and he didn’t like it.  "The Captain wants to see us. Shall we go?" Loki asked.

 “Uh – um… right” Thor said, nodding dumbly as he immediately stood to follow, wincing internally as he noted how quickly he ‘obeyed’.  As he walked alongside Loki, he wondered at his reaction.  Hadn't he sworn to do everything he could to get out of this? Yet, here he was walking next to a man whom would likely be his partner for several weeks.  _What the hell?_ He thought to himself.

 Loki was oblivious to the other man’s turmoil, his own mind preoccupied with thoughts.  As a newcomer to the department and the city, he was happy to get an important assignment so soon. He was ready to prove himself a capable investigator.

 As the men walked, Thor threw surreptitious glances at his new partner.  He noted Loki matched him in height but whereas Thor boasted a muscular build, Loki was lean and toned, much like a runner.

It suddenly hit Thor:  _Holy shit! This is the gay guy_! He thought as they approached the Captain's door. Rumors had been circulating regarding the new hire, rumors that the department had hired a gay detective to quell insinuations of bias. And now here he was. _Well, there’s no way I’m working closely with a fag_!  Thor paused for a second.  Even _he_ bristled at the crudeness of his own reaction.

 They reached the captain’s door and Loki rapped lightly, beating Thor to the punch. 

 “Come in” the captain called distractedly. 

 Loki opened the door, motioning for Thor to go in first. Thor entered but found himself bristling at Loki's manners.  _Why’s this guy treating me like a fucking chick_?  He thought gruffly as he entered the room.

 The Captain was standing behind his desk, poring over several photos scattered before him. Thor caught sight of the gruesome images of a young man's body with what appeared to be numerous stab wounds. He also appeared to have suffered severe torture. The Captain wore a look of consternation which faded as soon as he looked up at his visitors.  "Well, if it isn't my new detective team!"  He said, smiling broadly.

 Thor could feel his face heat and his blood rise with the captain's comment. Loki simply smiled.

 "Please, gentlemen, sit down." The captain gestured to the chairs before him. 

 You’ve both received copies of the case files.  If you’ve done your homework, you should be up to speed on your assignment. 

 “Two men have been found dead in the last two months on the grounds of the Sapphire Towers luxury condominiums” Loki said promptly, not noticing Thor rolling his eyes in derision.  “Both were condo residents, between the ages of twenty-five and thirty, and homosexuals.  Both appear to have been tortured, and stabbed to death on the premises.  Intel says the murderer might be on-site.” Loki finished. 

 “Er, yeah, that’s right.”  The captain said, caught off guard.

 Thor snorted.  “Yeah, we all read it, but _thanks_ _._  Thanks for the recap.” 

 Loki blushed as he realized how he came across.  In his enthusiasm to show his competence, he was coming off as a suck up!  “I was just making sure I had all the info”, he said as he turned, frowning to Thor.

 “Yes, well,” The captain continued, trying to smooth over an awkward situation “The tenants are understandably frightened.  The similarities of the three murders point to a serial killer, but after two months and extensive study and research by forensics, we’re still nowhere near catching the bastard!”  The captain paused, and took a couple of steadying breaths.  He always endeavored to keep a calm level head when it came to work, but this case had made him more and more frustrated.  “We’ve decided to place the two of you on-site, under cover, to closely monitor the situation.  You’ll be moving into one of the condos, posing as a married couple.  We’ve set up—“

 “Wait – what?!?” Thor stammered, sitting up straight.

 The captain continued with his explanation.  “-- set up identities for you, complete with identifications and histories, and have established you as well-off enough to afford living there –“

 “Okay, I get that I have to move into the complex filled with fa- gay guys, but why do we have to be married?  Why can’t I just move in alone?”  Thor said in a rush, a slight panic in his voice.

 He directed his words to Thor.  “The M.O. of the perp is to go after men in established relationships.  We want to maximize chance of contact with the possible killer, Thor.”  The captain said patiently, ignoring the detective’s slip with the derogatory comment. 

 Loki sat, silently watching the exchange.  He inwardly steeled himself for a difficult first case.  It wouldn’t be the first time he’d have to work with a homophobe, it just never got easier.  “Captain, what intel do you have on the killer?”

 For the next fifteen minutes the captain went over the specifics of the case, explaining what they were to look for, naming people of interest and areas on the property they should concentrate on.  Loki listened attentively, taking note of any and all detail.  Thor sat, slightly slumped in his seat, nursing his headache and discord by rubbing the left side of his head.  The captain finally wound up his comments and the three men stood up, Thor yawning loudly while pulling his arms over his head, his loose-fitting clothing easily exposing tight abdominal muscles. Catching sight of this, the captain snapped his fingers.

 “That reminds me! Thor, you’ve got appointments set up at a men’s day spa for tomorrow.  You two don’t move in until the day after, so that’ll give you more than enough time for, uh, clean-up” the captain said with a slight smile on his face.

 Thor dropped his arms, his mouth open in utter surprise and confusion.  “Sir, what are you talking about?"

 “I’m saying you need to get ready to fit into this role and make yourself believable.”  The captain looked him up and down with a worried look on his face.  “Quite honestly, you look kinda grungy."

 Thor couldn't believe what he was hearing. He’d never worried too much about his appearance since his main focus was to do his job. But he wasn't altogether oblivious to the appreciative looks he constantly got from a number of women at work and elsewhere. He knew his long blond hair, striking blue eyes, and impressive physique were a pretty winning combination. His girlfriends had never complained. What the hell did he need with a _men's spa_? What did that even mean?  "Sir, I don't see how a spa is necessary --"

 "Thor you need to look like you're part of a couple with… well… Loki."

 "Well, what about him?" Thor gasped as he pointed towards Loki, who had been watching this confrontation quietly but obviously amused.

 “ _I’ll_ go to a spa!" Loki offered.

 "He doesn't need one” The captain said, exasperated.  “Look at him!"

  Thor turned to stare at Loki directly, searching for a flaw. Loki responded by arching an eyebrow and smiling knowingly. Damn it! The captain was right. Loki looked like he was about to pose for the cover of a men's fashion magazine. His clean shaven face exposed light, flawless skin, made almost ephemeral by his contrasting dark hair. His clothing accentuated his lean body, his green shirt was fitted perfectly to his torso and highlighted his deep green eyes, which were focused on him.  His jeans hugged his long legs and shapely ass, just tight enough to look good without looking trashy… ok, ok, now he was looking too closely!  Thor suddenly felt self-conscious and turned away.  "Alright, fine, I'll go, but I still don’t see why it’s necessary!"  He retorted, turning his gaze to Captain Rogers.  “Where do I need to go?”

 The captain pushed two manila envelopes towards them.  “You’ll find what you need in here.  These packs have your new ids, passkeys, backgrounds, everything detailing your new lives.  Commit them to memory.  You’ve got 24 hours.”  He then turned and addressed Thor “It’s a great spa, Thor.  Really top-notch.  Believe me, you couldn’t easily afford it on a cop’s salary.  You might find you’ll enjoy it” the captain said with a smirk.

 “Oh, I seriously doubt that.”  He grumbled as he grabbed his envelope and walked out.

 . o O o .

 Turned out, he enjoyed it.  At least, he liked _some_ aspects of it.  Sure, he'd been poked, and waxed, and tweezed but he had actually been fascinated by the entire process.  He couldn't believe there were men who actually put up with this on a regular basis. His face and hair had been treated with so much product he was certain the shine could be seen from space.  He didn't even recognize his own hands and feet. He had expected the obligatory mani pedi but hair removal from VERY unlikely places, that was unexpected.  “Manscaping” was certainly a word he never thought he’d need to know.  But nothing, NOTHING had prepared him for the final treatment.  Two words: Anal bleaching. ANAL BLEACHING!!! What the hell? Thor finally drew the line.

 He emerged a paragon of masculine beauty, or so the whistles would have you believe as Thor entered the station. With his hair pulled back and an expensive Italian suit, he looked like a new man, or at the very least, a polished version of his old self.   _I guess a little grooming once in a while isn’t so bad_ , Thor mused as he passed by a window and caught his reflection.  He had never had any qualms about the way he looked, but even he had to admit, his appearance did give him additional confidence.  He smiled as he began to acknowledge the appreciative glances and wolf whistles from both men and women at the station.  Whether they be in jest or not, he decided to go with it, even adding a little swagger to his step, enjoying the moment.  He decided to make a quick detour to Narcotics, and shock the hell out of his old co-workers.

 “Well, _you_ clean up good!”  Clint said as Thor reached his desk.  Clint’s new partner, Natalie whistled appreciatively.  “I hardly recognized you!  What’d you do, shower?” he joked as he put his hand on Thor’s shoulder and held him at arm’s length, looking him up and down. 

 “Eat your heart out!”  Thor said, smirking as he held his arms out and turned slowly.  “I’m thinking of making this a regular thing.  What do you think?”

 “You could try, but I can’t see you pulling this off every day” Clint said shaking his head.

 “You should definitely do it” Natalie said nodding.  “All done up like this you look like a model”

 “Or a hooker!”  Clint exclaimed, snapping his fingers.  Natalie smacked him upside the head, and he amended “Sorry! Prostitute! A high end one.”  He added, smirking.

 Thor rolled his eyes, while the small crowd that had gathered around them laughed. 

 “Don’t listen to him” Natalie said as she adjusted Thor’s collar.  “He’s just jealous cuz he could never pull this off.  You look fantastic!”   Others around him murmured their agreement as well.  “Besides,” she said in a lower voice in his ear “those guys have some pretty high standards, I think you’ll fit right in” She said with a smile as she patted his arm. 

 “Thanks, Nat” he smiled, as a little voice in his head popped up suddenly: _but will Loki like it?_   The thought brought him up short a bit.  Why should it matter if Loki approves?  _He IS the one you’re dressing for, after all_ , that nagging voice said again.  Where did THAT come from?!?  He wondered as he shook it off, trying to clear his head.  He refocused his attention on his friends.  “Well, I think I’ve graced you all with my presence enough!  See you losers later” he waved as he went in search of his partner. 

 He reasoned with himself that Loki would be the definitive judge of his appearance, as he would be the one with more experience with these things.  _I am NOT seeking his approval, this is just for the sake of authenticity_.  Thor told himself as he walked down the hall, towards their division.  …and the little spark of excitement he felt, well that was just the anticipation of beginning a new assignment, that’s all.

 As he turned a corner, he spotted Loki in the archive room directly in front of him at the end of the hall, leaning against a filing cabinet, completely engrossed in the documents he was reading.  Thor smiled in anticipation as he neared.  Upon hearing footsteps, Loki looked up.  Thor’s grin widened as he saw the very stunned look on Loki’s face. 

A single word emerged from Loki's lips.  "Damn!"

 “So, am I _worthy_ of being called your partner now?" Thor asked with a heavy note of sarcasm.

 “Very worthy!" Loki responded, without missing a beat, his file forgotten in his hands.  He smiled broadly as he slowly circled Thor, looking him up and down.  Thor’s own smile faltered as he began to feel uncomfortable under Loki’s scrutiny.  He was sure he imagined it, but for a second, the look on Loki’s face was almost _predatory_!  “So, how was it?" Loki asked with genuine interest.

 Thor was quiet for moment, considering the question.  “It was… intriguing and perverse. I can't believe you guys put yourself through all that all the time!"

 "What do you mean _'you guys_ '? Loki asked suspiciously.

 "Well, you know, gay men." Thor said haltingly, feeling like he’d just committed a social gaffe.

 Loki smiled sadly (at least that's how Thor perceived it) “You realize a good majority of men who go to these places and get 'things' done are straight. And not all gay men get these things done."

 "Do _you_?" Thor felt the question escape him before he could stop himself.

 “No,” Loki huffed out a laugh, leaning against the file cabinet once more. “I don't have the time or the money."

 “So, all this” Thor said, motioning with his arm the length of Loki's body “just comes naturally to you?"

 "That's right!" Loki said conspiratorially, leaning briefly towards Thor and wiggling his eyebrows a bit.

 Thor looked stunned. Loki was obviously comfortable being perceived as attractive, even beautiful. It was a self-awareness Thor couldn't understand.

 "You know I'm joking, right?" Loki added, as he noted Thor's surprise.

 "Uh, yeah… Yeah, of course I knew you were joking." Thor answered, fidgeting and looking down at the floor.

 Loki considered him for a moment. “This must be pretty weird for you.  It’s a lot to take in.”

 “It’s the job.” Thor said with a shrug as he brought up his eyes to meet Loki’s.  I’ve done my share of under-cover work in the past, posing as mobsters, contract killers, drug addicts… compared to all those, this is gonna be cake!”  He said with a grin. 

 “I suppose you’re right,” Loki conceded “living in a luxury apartment neither one of us could ever dream of affording _will_ be nice… but still, this assignment’s different.  You were basically _ordered_ out of your comfort zone and asked to do your job in unknown territory.  A lot of guys would have fought like crazy to get out of it.”  Loki leveled him with his gaze.  “I’m impressed.”

 There was an awkward silence as both men half smiled at each other.

 “Look Thor, I know this is going to be tough for you, so I was thinking maybe we should present ourselves as a couple experiencing some marital difficulties.”

 "We're having problems?" Thor said with a start, eyes wide.

 “I think it would make sense.  It would go a long way in explaining why a couple in a committed relationship doesn’t show any physical affection.”  Loki reached out and ran his hand down Thor’s forearm softly, almost in a caress.  Thor flinched and jerked back at the contact, as if he’d felt an electric shock.

 Loki chuckled softly “We can use your… aversion to our advantage."

 Thor bristled at the words.  “It wasn’t – I’m not – I just wasn’t expecting it!  You caught me off guard." He said with a frown. 

 "Look, it’s okay" Loki soothed, hands up in an 'I surrender' pose, in an effort to smooth things over.  "I get it.  A lot's being asked of you.  One day you come into work and are told you have to pretend to be gay.  I meant what I said about not a lot of guys being up to the challenge."

 Loki's words placated him somewhat, but Thor continued to frown in confusion.  With all the preparation leading up to the case, he hadn't really given any thought to how they would behave with each other.  They would be a couple.  Of course they would be affectionate, or at the very least, there would be some physical contact.  How else would they be convincing as a gay couple?  He suddenly became nervous as hypothetical situations flashed through his mind.  Holding Loki’s hand, Loki putting his arm around him, around his waist… would he be able to do this convincingly?  He had practically jumped out of his skin when Loki had touched him a moment ago, just on his forearm!  (Although if he was being completely honest with himself, his reaction to Loki’s touch wasn’t due to aversion.  The soft, gentle touch had sent a tingle up his spine, and it wasn’t entirely unpleasant.) 

 “You okay?”  Loki said as he peered at Thor’s face.  “Are we good?  I didn’t mean anything negative by what I said…”

 “Yeah… yeah.” Thor said, shaking himself out of his reverie.  He focused his thoughts to the present. “What would it say about us if we aren’t even trying to fix our problems?”  Thor said suddenly.  “I mean, would we even be believable as a couple if we didn’t have PDAs?” 

 "Would you rather we kiss in front of the other tenants?" Loki said, smiling as he raised his eyebrows.

 “No!” Thor said, blushing immediately.

 "Okay then.  Marital problems it is."  Loki said with finality, as he turned back to the file cabinet and started putting away the papers he’d been reading. 

 Thor stared at Loki’s back and stood stock still.  The minute Loki had made the suggestion of kissing, his brain had gone into overdrive, creating more hypothetical situations.  Suddenly, all he could think about was kissing Loki.   _Running his fingers through Loki’s hair as he pulled Loki’s face to his and pressed their lips together, feeling the warm wetness of him…_ Thor was going to start hyperventilating soon!  He leaned against the credenza behind him, adopting a casual pose, in an effort to at least _appear_ calm.  _What the hell was that_!?  He thought in disgust.  All this exposure to gay shit had gotten it in his head!  That had to be it!  What other explanation could there be for him to be thinking of kissing A GUY!  This whole situation was throwing him off his game.  A week ago, his biggest worries were whether to watch the game at home or at his favorite bar, and where he and Jane would go to dinner.  Now suddenly he was worried about how being a part of a troubled _gay_ marriage would make him look to a bunch of _gay_ guys!  To be quite honest, his vanity couldn't abide with the idea that _anyone_ would be unhappy being married to him.  Even _pretend_ married. He knew for a fact that numerous girlfriends (including his present one!) felt this way.  They’d always hinted at how wonderful it would be to be married to him. How could Loki not feel the same way… Okay, hold up! Thor thought as he sat up and cleared his throat.  _We’re not really married!  I have got to GET. A. GRIP._

 Loki turned and looked at Thor quizzically.  "What bothers you about this?" he asked. "I thought you'd welcome an out on having to show affection to another guy."

 Thor shrugged, attempting to look unaffected. "I don’t know, the whole situation seems kind of depressing, that’s all."

 Loki shut the last file cabinet and leaned against it as he spoke. "It will give us a good lead-in to talk to people individually, you know, we can each pretend we need someone to talk to, tell our troubles to. It will engender confidence and interest.  Besides,“ he said with a conspiratorial grin “we gays do love our gossip!"

 Thor frowned. "Now who's stereotyping?"  He still wasn’t sure when Loki was joking or not, and it sometimes felt like walking on eggshells with him. 

 Oh, it's not a stereotype,” Loki said with a grin as he started walking out, motioning for the other man to follow.  “It’s pretty much true.”

 Thor considered this and chuckled softly, shaking his head.  "So, what's the story?  Why are we unhappy?"

 “Oh,“ Loki said, his grin widening considerably “I’m going to tell everyone you cheated on me.  You’ve got a wandering eye, are kinda bored, and your head is easily turned by a pretty face."

 Thor stopped in his tracks in the middle of the hallway.  "What?” he said, grabbing Loki’s arm to stop his progress.  “Why do _I_ have to be the bad guy?” He said raising his voice, attracting the attention of the other officers. 

 "Calm down, it's just a story,” Loki said rolling his eyes. “You didn't _really_ cheat on me!  You wouldn’t want to,” He whispered, turning to face Thor fully, leaning in a bit “– you wouldn’t be bored.”  Thor just gaped at him, eyes wide, not sure how to process what he heard.  Loki was enjoying this waaay too much!

 "Shall we?“ Loki said, voice suddenly louder, standing up straight.

 "W-what?" Thor said, still a little rattled by Loki’s actions.

 "Our new place” Loki said, walking away “Shall we go check it out?”

 Thor then remembered exactly why he had put himself through a day of exquisite torture and followed Loki to the home they would share as a couple.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Just added! **  
> Wonderful artwork by the very talented GoLikeThatCat. Hope you like it!

Sapphire Towers was one of the most exclusive addresses in the city.  Its luxury condominium residences and broad views of beautiful Balboa Park were housed in ultra-modern state-of-the-art buildings, built and engineered for comfort.  These buildings surrounded beautifully landscaped grounds that were meticulously kept by an unseen staff.  As Thor and Loki walked through the grounds, they let their gaze wander across the area, looking to the casual observer as just two mildly interested guys, while actually scrutinizing the entire area, taking in the minuscule details that they would later use to enhance the detailed area maps they brought with them. 

 As Thor did his reconnaissance, he took note of the opulent, even over the top details and decorations of the grounds.  Statues placed amongst the plant life, artwork hanging on the faux-stone painted walls, each tinted with varying shades of terra cotta.  _This is SO gay!_ Thor thought to himself as he looked around.  _In fact, it’s gotta be the gayest thing I’ve ever seen!_ He thought as he fought back a smirk.  He then glanced sideways at his partner to gauge his reaction to their surroundings.  His expression was calm and serene, not betraying whatever thoughts might be in his head.  Thor immediately chided himself.  Earlier, on the drive in, they had discussed the job at hand and how they would go about gathering intel for the case without arousing suspicion.  Clearly Loki was on the ball and Thor was behaving immaturely.  He immediately resolved to adopt a more professional demeanor for the duration of his assignment. 

 His resolve went out the window as they reached the pool area.

 “Okay, THIS is officially the gayest thing I’ve ever seen!”  Thor whispered to Loki, unable to contain himself.  The pool glittered beautifully, its layout done up to resemble a Grecian grotto.  Men of various ages lounged comfortably around the pool or in the gardens.  Loki didn’t say anything, but silenced Thor with a frown of disapproval.  

  They arrived at the management office, similarly decorated in the Greek theme, complete with faux marble columns and statues of beautiful men along the edges. 

 "Gentlemen, may I help you?" an impeccably dressed man young man said standing from behind a formidable solid oak desk, almost out of place in this Greek postcard.  Loki immediately approached the man, hand extended. 

 “Yes, hello.  We’re the new tenants for 122 C.  Loki and Thor Evans-Carter.” Loki said confidently. 

 Thor’s head snapped to look at Loki in surprise, but he covered it quickly.  _Evans-Carter?!?  They had hyphenated names?_  Thor realized he hadn’t read that little tidbit of information. 

 “Ah, yes.  Mister and Mister Evans-Carter.”  The man shook Thor’s hand, then his face lit up with a genuine smile as he shook Loki’s.  “Welcome back.  Your real estate agent mentioned you were vacationing in Europe while he found you a suitable place.  I’m Randall Monroe, the property manager.  Your condo has been readied for you as per your specifications, and the last of your furniture was moved in yesterday.”  As he spoke, Randall swiftly moved around the office, gathering first a file, then a set of keys before returning to the two men standing in front of the desk.  “I’ll be happy to show you to your new residence” he said as he walked out of the office.  Motioning for the two men to follow. 

 Randall unlocked and opened the door with a flourish.  Loki was impressed by what he saw.  He had never seen a place with such rich furnishings and beautiful artwork. Thor, however, was not, and could not hide his displeasure.  He wandered around, exploring while Randall spoke to Loki about the amenities.  The condo was small, too small for Thor’s taste, and with only ONE bedroom!  He returned to the living room where Loki stood mesmerized before a drawing.

 "Isn't this amazing?” Loki said in awe.  “It's a Degas!

 All Thor saw were two ballerinas.    _Great! As if this place wasn’t gay enough!_ Thor found himself thinking.

 However, seeing Loki's childlike excitement stopped him from saying something out loud, and he simply nodded, deciding to say something about the sleeping arrangements later.  Instead, he addressed their guide.  “So, obviously the décor meets with our approval,” he said, gesturing around him with his hand.  “What can you tell me about the security?  The murders that have occurred here recently did give me a few doubts.” Thor said, gazing at Randall.

 Randall became visibly flustered. “Who… How do…“ he babbled before quickly composing himself, becoming tense.  “The details of these unfortunate incidents have been kept confidential and out of the press.  How is it that you came to know about them?”

 “You mean the fact that they were murders?  Our real estate agent is _very_ thorough.”  Loki said with a small smile.

 Randall squared his shoulders.  “Gentlemen, all the tenants who reside here are confident in their privacy and security.  It is the cornerstone of the Towers’ appeal.  The residents here expect perfection and pay a very high price for it.  But, even despite the high price tag, we’re highly coveted, and the waiting list to move in is long.  We don’t want an isolated incident to besmirch our solid reputation.” 

 “But it wasn’t just one, it was two, wasn’t it?”  Thor said contemplatively, as he gazed out the window, before turning back to Randall.  “I just want to make sure we’re safe here.  That my… h-husband and I are safe here.”  He said finally, raising his arm and gesturing towards Loki.  No, that wasn’t awkward at all!

 If Randall noticed, he didn’t comment.  “I assure you both that the strictest measures have been taken to ensure the safety of all our tenants.”  He said sternly to Thor.  He then turned his gaze towards Loki.  “If you have concerns, though, I can personally come by periodically and check on you.”  He said with a smile, which he probably meant to be playful or alluring in some way, but which Loki just found odd.  The guy was obviously trying to flirt, but his inexperience showed.

 “Uh, thanks.  That won’t be necessary” Thor said, with a slight frown, as he noticed both the smile and Loki’s discomfort.  “We just wanted have all the facts before moving in,” as he spoke, Thor subconsciously moved around Randall until he was between the two men.  “Thanks for showing us around, we can find our own way out,” he continued as he walked towards Randall, making the man walk backwards, leading him towards the door. 

 “Well, let me know if I can do anything for you!”  Randall said at the door, speaking to the both of them but leaning around Thor’s large frame to direct his comment to Loki.   “You know where to find me, or you can call –“

 “Yeah, sure.  Bye” Thor said, closing the door firmly.

 “Thor, he was still talking!” Loki admonished, as a smile played on his lips.

 “I think I’d reached my Randall limit for the day.”  Thor said, annoyed at Randall, but not really able to pinpoint why.

 . o O o .

 The two men officially moved in the following day.  Since the apartment was already furnished and decorated as part of their cover story, all they really needed was their clothes.  As they unpacked, ThorDebated how best to address the sleeping arrangements.  He would sleep on the floor if need be, but he certainly wasn't going to share a bed with Loki! As he watched the other man arrange his things in the sizeable closet, he decided to move head-on.  "Uh, Loki, I was wondering… how’re we… how’s this… where are we going to sleep?"

 Loki answered immediately "I'm perfectly comfortable sleeping on the sofa in the living room, you can have the bed." Apparently Loki _had_ noticed the single bed. Thor felt reassured and just a little bit guilty.

 "I can just as easily take the sofa." Thor offered, somewhat reluctantly.

 "its fine, Thor. I can sleep anywhere” Loki stated with finality, as he continued his task.

 Thor stopped to wonder what that could mean. But if Loki insisted on giving him the bed, he wasn't going to argue.

 Apparently, Randall had done exactly what Thor and Loki had hoped he’d do: He’d spread the news about the new arrivals to the other tenants. As the doorbell rang, Loki turned to Thor and motioned that he be ready to meet their first neighbor.

 Loki opened the door to find a rather stern looking man, staring down at him. He guessed that the man must be at least six foot five as he felt a difference of three inches with the stranger. He had a Nordic face, severe and proud, but the severity soon turned into a cruel smile that rather disturbed Loki.

"Sir, I have come to introduce myself. My name is Carl Mikkelsen, the building superintendent. I welcome you! May I come in?"

 Loki hesitated for a second, struck by what seemed the man's dictatorial manner, and then immediately welcomed Carl in.

 "Of course! Please come in! I'm Loki and this is my husband Thor."  Thor, who had been standing near the living room's large window, walked over to the two men, flinching slightly at being introduced as Loki's husband. _This is gonna take some getting used to!_ He reflected inwardly, approaching their guest with a look of scrutiny.  Maybe Loki wanted to play gracious host ( _or hostess_ , Thor thought, smiling) but Thor's background as an investigator was sewn into the lining of his soul.  The man shook his hand forcefully and the smile he had offered Loki was quickly replaced by what Thor perceived as a smirk. His eyes a cold stare.

 "Sir, I hope I can be of service to you both." He turned to look at Loki intensely as he continued.  "Anything you might need, please let me know." His voice softened as he lowered his head towards Loki.

Loki felt himself suddenly the center of unwanted attention. 

 "Well, I, I mean, we appreciate your offer and are looking forward to a long stay here." Loki backed away from the superintendent, moving close to Thor.  Thor instinctively reached over and laced his fingers through Loki’s, pulling his partner until he was right next to him.  Loki tried not to show his utter surprise but was somehow relieved.  The Superintendent noticed the possessive move and turned to leave.

 "Gentlemen, it has been a pleasure I am certain we shall be seeing much of each other." He glanced solely at Loki, the smile was back.

 Both men drew out a heavy sigh as the door closed, Thor pulling back his hand immediately.  "Well, _he's_ not creepy." Thor said sarcastically.  As he looked out the small windows by the door.  "And he seems to have taken a liking to you” Thor said, turning to the brunet.

 Loki stared off into the distance, lost in thought.  "That could be a good thing." He said, a small smile playing on his lips. 

 Thor raised his eyebrows in surprise "So _that's_ your type, huh?" he said with a grin.

 Loki rolled his eyes “Really?"

 Thor just chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.

 "I mean, I can gain his confidence." Loki said, his mood becoming animated "I think we can both agree this guy's our front runner for the role of suspect!  Maybe I can get him to revealsomething that'll connect him to the victims."

 Thor frowned. "Well, only if we see him together."

 "Why?" Loki said defiantly, raising his chin "Don't you think I can handle him by myself?" 

 "I think it's _him_ handling _you_ that I'm worried about."Thor murmured before he could stop himself.   He flinched in surprise at his own comment, but Loki didn't seem to notice. 

 "And why would you think I'd be vulnerable with him anyway?" Loki said in annoyance.  Thor’s words had affected him more deeply than he cared to admit.  He hated to be perceived as weak or vulnerable, the feelings stemming from the memories of his youth, a time when he _was_ weak and vulnerable, and others had taken advantage of it.  He had fought hard to overcome his ugly past.  He was strong and confident now.  He could take care of himself and was in control of his own life and situations.  Why was it that Thor not seeing this put him on edge so much? 

 "Well..." Thor said haltingly, unsure how best to proceed “you're _gay_! You're more vulnerable to people taking advantage of you."

 Loki, stared at Thor, his annoyance momentarily forgotten as he became baffled by the statement. "You think my being gay makes me somehow weak?!?”

 "N-no, no no," Thor said, attempting to backtrack.

 "Did I not receive the same training as you? What the hell makes you think I can't handle this case?" Loki’s annoyance returned full-force, hints of tension now present in his voice. His pale skin suddenly turning an angry shade of pink, his green eyes narrowed. Thor was caught off-guard by the somewhat mesmerizing effect.

 "All I'm saying is that, because you're gay, you're perceived as being sexually available."

 "Thor, what the hell are you talking about?" Loki was now beyond the point of frustration.

 "No, wait, hear me out! Guys are pigs, _we_ guys are pigs, you know that -- well," Thor amended "maybe not you."  Loki couldn't even look at Thor as he spoke. He stood in front of him, head turned, arms crossed.  "Ok," Thor continued, “so because of it, we’ll go after anyone, anytime, if we feel there’s even a remote possibility of getting any.”  Thor watched Loki for a reaction, and seeing none, continued his rambling.  “Because you're gay, well, it's more dangerous for you to be alone with this guy… maybe because you come off as too feminine." He finished lamely.

 Loki closed his eyes and pressed two fingers between his furrowed eyebrows, willing himself to remain calm.  "I don’t even know WHAT to say to you right now” he said quietly.  “You know, there are probably a lot of women out there who would gladly kick your ass right about now” he said as he finally opened his eyes and looked directly at Thor.  “You know, you're being perceived of as gay too. Does that make _you_ vulnerable?"

 "Hell yeah!”  Thor said vehemently.  “And I don't want to be alone with him either!"

 Loki’s anger quickly dissolved upon hearing Thor’s words.  _Who IS this guy? Loki thought.  How could he be so naive about human behavior?  Or is he so conditioned by a macho stereotype that he can’t imagine masculinity in a broader definition?  Well, at least, he’s blunt_." These thoughts ran through Loki's mind as Thor stood in front of him, looking somewhat apologetic by lifting his shoulders with a questioning facial expression.

 "Let's let this one go, but let _me_ be blunt now," Loki paused, looking straight at Thor, "I can take care of myself. I know what I'm doing when I 'act' vulnerably, and I _have_ proven myself when it comes to handling danger.”  Loki paused for a moment, regarding Thor intently, considering his next words.  “I am capable of killing, Thor.  In fact, I have.  Killed.”

 Thor tightened his lips, merely nodding in agreement, not trusting the words that have been coming out of his mouth lately.  He had no idea what to make of this new world he’d been dropped into. Yes, he'd received sensitivity training but his world revolved around a simple definition of male and female. That's how he'd been raised in his small town. Only son, star quarterback, jock, popular guy, all the clichés of the all-American kid. Even his years on the force hadn't really changed his perceptions, the macho culture fitting in with his definition of a familiar reality. And now here he was, soon to be immersed in a culture he personally knew nothing about. Men who interacted on a different level with each other. It wasn't just the looming prospect of sex that panicked Thor, it was this sense of vulnerability that shook his foundation. He had already failed miserably with Loki.  Both in the way he behaved and in his subsequent explanation.  Why had he reacted that way?  He had reacted the way he might when he felt his girlfriend being harassed. He had lost his objectivity when he’d seen Loki needing protection from that creepy guy.  He had even reached out and grabbed his hand protectively!  Why did the guy have to be so fucking _feminine_? 

 Loki continued to watch Thor after his declaration, waiting for some type of reaction, but seeing none he walked to the kitchen. 

  _No, not feminine_ _,_ Thor’s thoughts amended _,_ _but definitely different_ he thought, frowning, as he watched the brunet’s progress across the room, his eyes moving seemingly of their own accord.  Loki walked elegantly and proudly, his movements fluid and almost cat-like.    He was dressed casually in black narrow form-fitting jeans and a tailored dark blue unbuttoned shirt worn over a gray-blue t-shirt, but his lithe muscular body carried it well.  Thor’s mouth went a bit dry as he continued watching, his eyes dragging slowly over Loki’s body.  Then the light coming from the windows hit the planes of Loki’s face as he passed, illuminating Loki’s skin, throwing his profile into stark relief… Thor shut his eyes tightly, willing his quickening heartbeat to go back to normal, trying to make his present circumstance magically disappear.  The problem, he suddenly realized, was Loki’s beauty.  His underlying strength, both physical and emotional, didn’t take away from it, but rather enhanced it, making him even more… more… alluring.  Thor jolted as if stung, completely surprised by his own choice of words.  He looked around frantically, then grabbed his keys.  “Going out for a few” he called out as he practically ran out the door, not waiting for a response as he hurried to his car and as far away from his confusing living situation as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork in this chapter is done by GoLikeThat. Check out his full gallery on DeviantArt.com

That afternoon, the two men got to the task of setting up the different components for their wireless surveillance.  They had wandered around the condo property deploying several wireless cameras under the guise of ‘exploring their new home’.  Afterwards, they deployed some cameras in and around their own apartment, as well as attached remote mics and cameras to their clothing.  They worked quickly, trying to get everything set up for that evening.  They planned to attend a poolside get-together later that evening and were hoping to have their equipment to be up and running, giving them extra eyes so they wouldn’t miss anything.  Wanting to be ready for anything, both detectives were going to be carrying their concealed weapons as well.

“Well, it looks like we rushed our setup for nothing” Thor said as he hung up his phone.  “I.T. says they can’t get out here until tomorrow.”

“So?” Loki said distractedly as he double-checked the connections.

“So they need to do… whatever they do to connect our setup to the precinct.” Thor said, waving his hands to indicate the work.  “We can’t use the cameras until they work their magic.”

“Nah, we don’t need them,” Loki said suddenly animated, turning to his open laptop and logging into the police secure site. “What could be left?  Just initializing the link?” Thor watched in wonder as Loki began typing, muttering to himself as his fingers flew across the keyboard.  “It looks like they piggy-back our signals with proxy servers and hide our signal from prying eyes with dummy IPs…”

“So… you can do this?”  Thor asked as he read what appeared to be nonsense moving across the computer screen.

"Sure,” Loki said distractedly. “We’ve got all the right clearance already, its our case…. Just a matter of pointing everything to the right place… shouldn’t take me any time at all...” His voice trailed off as his attention was drawn to the screen again.

“Can I do… anything?” Thor said hesitantly as he watched his partner work.  His knowledge of computers went as far as checking his email and surfing the web, so he was pretty sure his help would be limited.

“I’ve got this…” Loki mumbled.” We should be ready to go in a couple of hours, if you want to get ready…”

Thor looked down at his faded jeans and flip flops.  The faded batman tshirt he wore had a couple of holes in it. “What?  What’s wrong with this?  The invite said it was casual, you know”

Loki stopped what he was doing and looked over at his partner with an amused glance. “Oh, Thor,” he said with mock pity “Those guys will rip you apart if you show up in _that_!  Why not make use of that new wardrobe you were provided?”  he said, turning his attention back to the computer screen.

Thor left the room without another word, heading towards the bedroom.  Loki’s words about his outfit rattled him.  He to make an effort on his appearance, not wanting to look like a fool in front of the other tenants. 

Forty five minutes later, Thor came out of the bedroom.  He had taken his time grooming and cleaning up before carefully choosing an outfit that he hoped would allow him to blend in.  He tweaked and modified his look until he was satisfied that even Loki’s high standards would be satisfied and he’d approve.  He stepped into the living room, ready to say as much to his partner, but the comment died on his lips as he caught sight of him at the desk.  Loki was still at the computer, his head turned to the side reading a document to his left.  The only light in the room was coming from the desk lamp to his right, making him appear to be glowing. 

Loki was intently focused on his work, a small frown at his forehead as he read.  Thor’s mouth felt dry as his gaze traveled over him, taking notice of the strong thin fingers flying over the keyboard confidently, his strong jaw line, shown off in stark relief by the single light source, the brown horn-rimmed glasses… “you’re wearing glasses!” Thor said, not recognizing the higher version of his voice that came out of his mouth. “You look” _adorable_! “busy… you still look busy” he finished, feeling slightly off-balance as his stomach did a little flip at the image of his partner.

“hmm?  uh-huh… almost finished” Loki muttered, attention still elsewhere.

Thor cleared his throat and blinked his eyes a couple of times, trying to make sense of his strange reaction to Loki’s appearance. “I didn’t know you wore glasses”

“I only need them occasionally” Loki said distractedly.

_Get a grip!  What the hell’s the matter with you!  It’s just a fucking pair of glasses!_   Thor told himself.  “So how do I look?  Does this outfit meet with your approval?”  He said, in what he hoped was a more normal voice, rearranging his features into a casual smile.

Loki, head still bent over his computer screen, raised just his eyes and looked at Thor over his glasses.  Thor wore narrow, perfect-fitting indigo blue jeans, a thin, lighter blue Henley that perfectly matched his eyes, hugging his chest beautifully, and a black sport coat.   The top half of his long blond hair was neatly pulled back away from his face, while the bottom half flowed freely at his shoulders.   

Loki’s gaze didn’t falter or change, and his casual demeanor in no way betrayed the fact that his heart had actually stuttered a bit upon seeing Thor, looking gorgeous, like some conquering Norse God slumming with the mere mortals.  After a brief moment, he cast his eyes back down to his monitor.  “Sure, you look fine.” He said neutrally. 

Thor’s smile faltered as he looked at Loki a little surprised.  He had looked himself over in the mirror and thought he looked pretty good, but being in this environment had made him doubt himself quite a bit lately.  Maybe what he thought acceptable was completely inappropriate.  He stood awkwardly, ego a bit bruised at not having made a stronger impression.  "I guess I'm still not living up to your high ‘gay’ standards, huh?" he said harshly, raising his two hands in the air and making the ‘air quotes’ sign at the word gay.

Loki abruptly slammed his laptop shut, exasperated.  "Jesus Christ!  Why does everything have to be about my being gay?” He asked, notably perturbed. "Is it your way of belittling me? Taunting me?" He said, standing up and walking around the desk to stand before Thor.

Caught off guard by Loki’s accusation, Thor scrambled to explain “N-No! I didn’t—I didn’t mean – sorry, that came out wrong.  I was just -- ”

“Do you really want me to tell you what I think of how your look?  Do you?” Loki challenged, arms crossed, glaring at Thor.

“Look, Loki –“ Thor tried again, attempting to placate the man

“Well, you look hot!  Really hot!  The clothes, the hair,” Loki said angrily, gesturing up and down in Thor’s direction “It all works, okay?”  He abruptly stopped talking when he realized he was yelling, and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.  “I didn’t want to say anything before,” he said in a calmer voice “because you’d seemed so uncomfortable after our conversation earlier, and I thought downplaying it would make it easier for you.”  He leveled his gaze on his partner and offered a conciliatory grin “For what its worth, they’re gonna love you out there tonight.  You’ll blend in beautifully” Loki said as he walked towards the bedroom, patting Thor on the arm as he passed him. 

“Oh…” Thor said, a little dumbfounded “alright then… “So, lets – wait, where’re you going?”

“I have to change,” Loki said over his shoulder, smiling.  “I can’t be seen like this with you looking like that!  What kind of husband would I be?”  He left Thor standing in the living room, feeling even more stunned, but also, for reasons he couldn’t explain, with a certain sense of satisfaction.

The gathering was already in full swing when Loki and Thor arrived.  There was a group of about twenty men gathered around the grotto that housed the impressive pool.  The older members of the group had the formal appearance of successful professionals, wine glasses in hand. The younger men were much less formal in shorts and flip flops.  As they approached, Thor could make out several conversations going on at once, as the men had broken down into smaller groups.  All the conversation ebbed as everyone’s attention turned to the handsome couple as they made their way into the area.  Thor was suddenly filled with apprehension, feeling all those eyes on them.  “So much for blending in,” he muttered to Loki as he looked around.  He started to feel jittery with nerves, feeling all inquisitive eyes on him.

“Relax, you’ll be fine” Loki reassured, giving his partner’s arm a squeeze. “Follow my lead if you want.  Let me do all the talking” He continued, smiling at Thor, who visibly relaxed under Loki’s touch.

"Gentlemen! We're so glad you could make it! I have been telling everyone about the newest members to our exclusive club." Carl, the building superintendent bellowed from somewhere ahead of them, causing both men to jump.  Upon hearing the man’s voice, Thor immediately tensed, remembering the unwelcome attention he had given Loki.  As the man approached them, Loki reached out and grasped Thor’s left hand and arm with both his hands, more as a way to restrain his partner than anything else.   Not wanting it to look awkward, though, he quickly laced their fingers together, squeezing his hand and leaned the side of his face into Thor’s arm, effectively plastering himself to Thor’s side. 

Thor’s tension faded away to be replaced by total surprise at Loki’s actions.  He didn’t know what prompted Loki to suddenly _embrace_ him, but he wasn’t about to complain.  Feeling the man’s warmth along his side calmed him and felt… nice.  _Nice?  Huh?_ Thor thought suddenly, very aware that instead of automatically recoiling from the touch, he had actually leaned into it! 

"I hope you don't mind." Carl continued, standing right before them now, directing his words only to Loki.

"Not at all!" Loki spoke up "We were hoping to meet everyone, right honey?” he said, running his hand up and down Thor’s arm in what he hoped would appear as an affectionate gesture, and not a warning for Thor to keep calm.

As it turned out, Loki didn’t have to worry about Thor losing his temper with Carl.  He was currently wrestling with an onslaught of conflicting emotions caused by Loki’s actions.  In the last five minutes, he’d had his hands seemingly all over Thor, pressed his face against his arm and called him _honey?!?_   Thor was a jumble of shock, surprise, discomfort, pleasure, embarrassment, and, suddenly, irrationally, disappointment that he hadn’t kept the ratty old tshirt on so he could feel Loki’s face against his bare skin.  _This is the job, he’s working the case, he’s playing his part_ he told himself over and over again. Being in this environment was really messing with him.  He needed to center himself, or he was going to screw this up.  _For Godsake, you’re a professional!_   He told himself as he focused on the men before him. "Yes! Yes, I'm excited to meet everyone too" Thor lied.

“Well then, no time like the present!” Carl said as he turned and faced the other guests, who were all watching the three men with interest. “Everyone,” he said, clapping his hands rapidly, “I’d like to introduce Mr. Loki Evans-Carter” gesturing at Loki with a flourish, placing his hands on the detective’s shoulder.  As an afterthought, he said “He and his husband… “ He turned a questioning look at Loki

“Thor,” Loki said with an amused expression, practically feeling Thor’s glare directed at Carl.

“And his husband Thor,” Carl continued “Will be joining our little Sapphire Towers family.  Please make them feel welcome.”

The other tenants immediately began approaching, introducing themselves and extending hands.  Loki, ever the charmer, was gracious and polite as he spoke with everyone.  Thor hesitantly joined in the conversation, smiling and relaxing a bit.  Seeing that, Loki tried releasing his hand only to have Thor grip it even tighter, and dart a nervous glance his way.  _Oh well, at least he’s trying!_ He thought, knowing Thor’s attitude towards gay culture.

“Well, the two of you are a sight for sore eyes,” one of the young man wearing khaki shorts and a dark red polo shirt commented “It’s about time we had some new faces in this place”

“Indeed,” an older, elegant man named Darrel agreed as he approached Loki and Thor gazing at the two approvingly.  “And I daresay two remarkably lovely faces at that!”  He said as he placed a hand on Thor’s arm still looking them up and down. A general chuckle went around the group as there were general murmurs of agreement.

Thor was struggling with the effort not to flinch, uncomfortable at being the center of attention.  Loki on the other hand, wasn’t phased in the slightest.  “Well, thank you, Darrel, I don’t know about me, but I do agree that I have a lovely husband!”  He said turning towards Thor with a brilliant, loving smile that Thor couldn’t help but return.

Both men were very popular with their neighbors, being told countless times what a beautiful couple they made. They stayed close, and Thor was happy Loki had clearly practiced details of an imaginary relationship: how they met, where, first kiss, years together. It was all there. And as Loki repeated the details to several people, Thor found himself almost believing they were true, even charming. Loki acted like a person truly in a relationship, charming the crowd with clever anecdotes about a life together, and Thor began to wonder if he was sharing personal experiences from an actual relationship. He felt suddenly uncomfortable with the idea.

After a couple of hours, the two detectives bade everyone good night and walked back to their apartment.  Both men felt slightly worn out by the past few hours, feeling themselves openly and carefully scrutinized. It was then Thor remembered the issue of sleeping arrangements.  Thor had noticed the impractical, yet very modern sofa and knew Loki would not be comfortable there.

As they entered, Loki walked straight into the bedroom to gather a few things for the night. Thor hesitated in the living room, not sure what to do.  When Loki came back, he began to spread a blanket on the plush rug that was the centerpiece of the room.  "What are you doing?" Thor asked, surprised

"Bedding down for the night” Loki said jokingly as he placed a couple more blankets and a pillow on the floor.  “I've decided the sofa won't work for sleeping so I've chosen the floor."

Thor stood off to the side, looking across the room at the couch, practically radiating guilt.  _I should probably offer him the bed_ , he thought as Loki took off his shirt.  Loki noticed his expression and interpreted it as fatigue.

"Thor, go to bed! I'll see you in the morning!" Loki said impatiently.

“O-oh.  Right.  Uh… goodnight.”  Thor stuttered, caught off guard by the tone of Loki’s voice.  He walked to the bedroom, but turned back before entering, returning to the living room.  Loki stood shirtless, turned with his back to Thor, his skin glowing from the heavy moonlight shining through the large picture window.  Thor was surprised to see several old scars crisscrossing his partner’s smooth skin. He cleared his throat, wanting to get his attention.   

Loki quickly turned, surprised.  "What is it?”

“I was just thinking… you don’t have to sleep on the floor.  The bed is huge, after all, and I think we’d both fit comfortably--”

“Don’t worry about it.  I’ll be fine” Loki said, pulling on a tshirt to sleep in.

“You won’t be fine after a couple days of sleeping on that” Thor said, gesturing towards Loki’s makeshift bed on the floor.  Loki’s gaze followed his arm, looking at his sleeping arrangements hesitantly.  Sensing Loki’s resolve begin to crack, Thor tried again “Come on, come sleep with me – I mean… on the bed… the same bed… the other side of the bed… aw shit” Thor said frustrated, running a hand through his hair “you know what I mean!”

Loki smiled. "Are you sure? Because I'll take you up on it. I mean, I can sleep anywhere, and I have, but that bed looks awfully comfortable and I could use the rest."

"Yeah, I'm sure."  Thor said.  He really wasn’t, but it was too late to back out now.  He knew he was establishing a precedent of the two of them sharing a bed for the duration of the case, but what the hell. He simply needed to keep this fact from the guys at the precinct. They would never let him live it down.

Loki quickly picked up his blanket and followed Thor into the bedroom. The men agreed on sides and Loki quickly laid down, rubbing his eyes with his right hand and yawning. Thor made his way to the bathroom, wanting some form of escape. He took his time brushing his teeth and examining his face in the mirror, almost not recognizing his own image. He questioned if he could really pull this off. And if he could, what did that say about him? He had spent the evening parading around as another man's husband. _Husband_! And it had been okay, even fun. And, and this is the part that got him, he had actually felt protective of Loki. As if he were really his.

"What the fuck is going on with me!" Thor muttered.

Realizing he was spending too much time in the bathroom, he emerged, certain Loki would make some comment. Instead, he found Loki fast asleep, lying as close to the bed's edge as was possible, trying, he thought, to give him space. Thor laid down, trying not to rouse Loki, but his partner didn’t wake.  He slept deeply, his breathing calm and smooth. Thor turned to look at him, the moonlight once again appearing to pursue him. His face was preternaturally beautiful and Thor could not help but feel both mesmerized and disturbed by it. Thor marveled at how soundly Loki slept next to a virtual stranger, what could that mean? Did he sleep around a lot with other men so that this was not unusual for him? He had said he had and could sleep anywhere.  _There I go again! Making assumptions about gay men_ , Thor thought.  Or did another reason feel even more questionable? Thor shook his head as drew the covers over him. Could it be, that in such a short amount of time, Loki trusted him implicitly and felt comfortable with him? Thor couldn't help but fall asleep with a smile on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

“Why is it that, even with a full lab at your disposal not 20 feet away, you still manage to get all your weird, science-y, tech-y computer stuff all over the house?”  Captain Steve Rogers says exasperated as he moves circuit boards off the couch, making room to sit.  "Is it too much to ask for an empty spot on my own couch?  I'm starving!"

“Hey!” His partner Tony says. “Careful with that! I’m still working on it.”  He reaches over and takes the tech, lovingly cradling it in his hands as he places it on a table and returns to his place on the couch. 

The two men were settling in to a late dinner of pizza and beer in front of the TV.  Their individual schedules were so chaotic, that they had made a pact long ago to set aside a few nights a month as “date nights”, where it would be just the two of them, no distractions, no work talk.

Tony regarded his husband curiously.  It wasn’t like him to be so cranky, especially on date night.  _He lives for the mushy stuff!_ Tony thought to himself, noting the rigid set of Steve’s shoulders.  _And he never minds my stuff lying around… THAT much... does he?_

“Okay gorgeous, what’s going on?”  Tony says as he drops back on the couch, draping his legs over Steve’s lap and putting his arms around his neck, giving the larger man a peck on the cheek.  “It’s date night!  By now, you’ve already got me naked and pinned to this couch!  Did my stuff lying around really bother you that much?”

Steve automatically wrapped his arm around Tony and brought him in closer, his tense shoulders visibly relaxing.  He turned his head and noted the frown and look of doubt on the brunet’s face and felt a pang of guilt at being the one who put it there.  He leaned in and softly kissed Tony.  He immediately and eagerly responded to the kiss, scooting forward until he’s fully sitting in Steve’s lap, radiating his relief at not being in trouble.

“I’m sorry honey,” Steve said as they separated.  “I’m just a little preoccupied.  It’s this case we’re working on.  It’s turning out to be a lot more layered than I originally expected.”  He looked down, felling a little guilty.  He didn’t want to break their _No Work_ rule for date night, especially since he was always the one reminding Tony of said rule. 

Tony softly ran his fingers through Steve’s hair, in an attempt to comfort the man.  “Hey, I know sometimes the day creeps in here.  It’s okay.  Why don’t we talk about it if it’ll make you feel better?”

“It’s the murder investigation in the LGBT community I told you about”.  Steve says, relieved at being given a pass for tonight.  “I’m concerned about the two detectives assigned to go undercover.  They wouldn’t have been my first choice…”

“Wait,” Tony said, frowning in confusion “aren’t you the one who chose them?”

“No, not these two…” Steve said, absently running his fingers through Tony’s hair.  When the case first came across my desk, I had a pretty clear idea of who I wanted to work it, but when I put together a team, the higher brass got involved.  A name was put on my desk and it was _strongly recommended_ that I use this guy.  I declined, saying I’d already made my choices.  End of story, right?  Well before the end of the day, I get a call from the mayor’s office, telling me I have to use this new cop I had never worked with before as part of the investigation, no questions asked.”  As the captain spoke, he got more and more agitated, thinking of his situation.  He moved Tony’s body onto the couch as he stood up and started pacing. 

“Well… that’s bullshit, right?” Tony said, indignant on his partner’s behalf.  “They can’t tie your hands like that and expect you to do your job?”

“Apparently, they can” Steve said, still annoyed. “I raised a stink about it with the Mayor’s office, telling them I didn’t want to work the case if I wasn’t going to be in charge, but then the Mayor himself called, assuring me that I was still in charge, that this was definitely my case, I was trusted, blah blah blah…”

“So how’d it feel to have the mayor kiss your ass?” Tony said, smirking

Steve stopped pacing for a moment and turned to Tony “That’s not all” he said ominously “We’re being bankrolled.  This case… my team… There’s a very rich influential guy… A guy who has the ear of my boss along with a lot of politicians, who’s taken an interest in this case – or more specifically, interest in a particular detective to work this case.”

“Huh?” Tony said “What are you talking about?”

“You know what? Never mind” Steve said suddenly, walking to the other side of the room and sitting on an armchair, looking uncomfortable. 

“Oh-ho no!” Tony said delightedly.  “You were about to spill some seriously juicy gossip!” Tony said, leaving the couch and crossing the room towards Steve “Come on!” Tony wheedled, leaning over Steve and putting a hand on each armrest, “Spill!”

“There’s nothing to spill,” Steve said, not meeting his partner’s eyes “there’s nothing more to tell.  I just don’t like it when my detectives can’t do their job effectively.  Certain personalities clash, and that can hinder how well they do their job.  That can ultimately get someone hurt.”

“So…“ Tony said contemplatively, thinking things through as he turned and sat across Steve’s lap “The new guy’s an asshole and no one wants to work with him…”

“Nah, Loki’s a perfectly nice guy.” The captain said, automatically winding his arms around his partner’s middle, taking comfort in the warmth there. “He’s pretty smart and he comes with a great reputation.  At his other pre—“

“Holy shit!” Tony said with a laugh, jumping off and turning to straddle Steve, grasping the larger man by the shoulders “that’s the gay guy, right?  The gay guy got transferred to your unit?  What’s he like?  Is he hot?  I hear he’s pretty hot—“

“Tony!” Steve said exasperated “Stop! He has a name, you know… I wish you wouldn’t refer to him as ‘the gay guy’ like that’s his only defining characteristic!”

“Say what you will” Tony said undeterred “but isn’t that why the higher-ups hired him over the other candidates?  So they could have a gay detective in the department—“

“He’s not the only gay cop in the department—“ Steve argued

“NOT closeted!” Tony quickly retorted, then regretted his words just as quickly when he saw the pained look cross Steve’s face. 

It had been a point of contention between the two men for some time now.  After they’d been together for a few years, the pair had come out to their families and close friends to mostly positive results.  They happily went along like this for a while, then one day Tony had hinted that he’d like their relationship to be out in the open, for everyone to know, including their co-workers.  Steve had immediately balked at that, saying he didn’t want his personal life to be fodder for gossip at the precinct… Tony had taken it the wrong way, asking if Steve was ashamed of their relationship… Needless to say, one of the biggest fights they’d ever had ensued.  They’d made up after a few days, and by unspoken agreement, didn’t touch upon the subject again.  Every once in a while, though, it snuck into their conversations (like today). 

“No no no no” Tony said repeatedly, in between peppering Steve’s face and neck with kisses “That look is NOT allowed!  I’m sorry… I’m an ass, ok?” he said, pulling away and peering into his partner’s eyes as he held his face between his hands.

The captain managed a small chuckle “I’m fine, I’m fine! I know you didn’t mean anything by it.  I just… I can’t help but feel guilty about not giving you something you want…”

“Okay, that’s enough of that!” Tony said, sitting up straight on Steve’s lap, gripping his shoulders. “ _You_ are something I want… the _only_ thing I want!”  He leaned in and planted a hard kiss on Steve’s mouth, to accentuate his point. “Nice try trying to change the subject, by the way, but you’re not getting away that easily” Tony said playfully.  “Now, who’s the guy?”

“What guy?” Steve said warily.

“The ‘rich influential guy’ that’s pulling all the strings.  Its Laufeyson, right?”

“N-no… I mean—w-what?!?” Steve sputtered as he stood abruptly, catching Tony just in time before he hit the floor. “How the hell did you _know_? 

“It wasn’t hard to figure out” Tony said, regaining his balance as he stood “He’s one of the richest men in town, _and_ he’s gay, _and_ he lives at the Sapphire.”  Tony grinned and shrugged as he looked at Steve “Besides, I _am_ a genius after all.  Come on, don’t be so shocked,” Tony soothed as he rubbed his partner’s arms “Eric Laufeyson has been on my mind lately.  He just had that huge fundraiser gala for his inner-city scholarship fund last week and we gave him a pretty big donation. I just put two and two together.  So,” Tony said, as he slowly walked around the living room, “Eric goes downtown to police headquarters for one of his PR photo ops with the mayor, spots this new guy… Loki, is it?” he turned to get confirmation from Steve, who just nods, sitting on the couch again with his head in his hands “—spots Loki there, and, what? Love at first sight… or more like _lust_ at first sight if the rumors about Laufeyson are to be believed… and he orchestrates this little stake-out to happen at his doorstep, so he can have a front row seat to watch his boy toy work!” He turned to his partner with an expectant smile “Did I get it right?”

“Ugh!” Steve groaned, running both hands through his hair in frustration.  “I shouldn’t even be _talking_ to you about this!” he wailed. “Okay, look,” Steve said, taking a deep breath. “Yes, that’s pretty much the whole thing.  But you’ve got to promise –“

“Shit, Sapphire Towers!  That must be costing Laufeyson some serious cash!”  Tony said excitedly

“Tony—“

“Plus cars, wardrobe, the whole bit? “ Tony continued

“Tony—“

“Damn, Loki must be a fine piece of—“

“Tony!”

“Oh come on!” Tony said as he once again settled on Steve’s lap.  “Who would I talk to about this other than you?” 

“Tony, you’re NOT allowed to speak of this to ANYONE!  Please do this for me!  There are too many powerful players involved in this.  I don’t want anything to jeopardize the case or my men.” Steve said, holding the man’s gaze. 

“Yes, sir!” he said with a smile as he kissed his partner lightly.  Steve visibly relaxed at Tony’s touch.  “Relax baby, you’re still ultimately in control here, right?  I mean, Laufeyson may be footing the bills, but you’re still the Captain, still in charge” he said soothingly, placing small kisses along his partner’s jawline.  “You’re a great tactician.  I’m sure you’ll keep an eye on everything, watch for any signs of trouble…” Tony’s words faded as he continued trailing kisses down his partner’s neck, eliciting light moans from the other man.  “As I recall, you’re pretty good at reading signs. You read MY signals and knew I was interested in you” he said as he kissed Steve lightly. 

“Yes, that’s true.” Steve said drily.  “You invited yourself into my apartment, claiming your shower wasn’t working, then stepped out of the bathroom stark naked and kissed me.  You hid those subtle hints so well… and yet I still picked up on them.”

“Well,” Tony huffed petulantly, “We were neighbors for, what?  Six months?  I mean, how long was I supposed to wait?  I figured the direct approach was my only option.  As I recall,” Tony said as he lightly rolled his hips against the other man, “you didn’t seem to mind…”

Steve’s eyes fluttered closed and he groaned as his own body responded to the friction.  “N-no, no I did not.” He muttered, grasping Tony’s hips and grinding into him as they kissed deeply.  Much much later, as they cuddled closely on the couch and finally shared a dinner of cold pizza and flat beer, Steve reflected on their conversation, and decided Tony was probably right.  As long as he kept informed and involved in the situation, what could go wrong?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork in this chapter done by GoLikeThat. See his full gallery on DeviantArt.com

The smell of bacon and fresh brewed coffee wafting from the kitchen woke Thor the next morning.  In a rush, he suddenly remembered where he was and with whom. He glanced over to the other side of the bed and found he was alone.  _Okay, what’s this all about?_   Thor thought as he got out of bed, heading towards the door, curious to investigate the delicious smells.  At the last minute, though, he headed to the bathroom, deciding to clean up first, not sure how the sight of him in his pajamas would be received.    After he cleaned up, he headed back to the bedroom where he found Loki, fully and impeccably dressed in dark blue jeans and a tailored shirt, standing near the bed with a plate of food in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

"Breakfast?" he said smiling, holding out his offering.

Thor walked slowly into the room, regarding the other man almost warily.  "Are you serious?" Thor asked in surprise, cocking an eyebrow, a half-smile on his face.

Loki chose to ignore the tone. "What can I say? The boy can cook!"

Thor reached out and took the coffee cup out of Loki’s hands, taking a drink without breaking eye contact with him.  _Okay…juuuust a little too domestic, here_ , Thought Thor “Listen, Loki, you don't have to do this. We're not really married." He said with a smile, trying to make light of things.

The smile on Loki's face faltered, then disappeared.  He dropped the plate soundly on the nightstand regarding Thor with obvious frustration.  “Jesus, Thor!  Its breakfast, not a god dammed blow job!  I was just trying to be nice.  Eat it, don’t eat it, I don’t give a fuck!” He said before turning on his heel and walking out.

Thor immediately felt stupid and embarrassed. _God, I’m such an asshole_ ,” he thought.   _How is it that I keep doing and saying the wrong thing when it comes to this guy?_   He quickly slipped on his shirt and jeans from the previous day and rushed out into the apartment to apologize to Loki. He found him sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, lost in thought.

"I’m an idiot” Thor said without preamble, entering and standing before Loki.  “I'm a complete shit at this. You've been nothing but decent with me and all I've done is said and done the most absurd things.”  Loki didn’t say anything, just regarded him quietly.  Thor took his silence as invitation to keep going.  “I know it may not seem like it, but I _am_ trying” Thor said as he leaned down, placing both hands flat on the tabletop.  “I promise, I really do promise to think before I act. Okay?"

Loki looked up and wrinkled his brow. _I don’t know if I’ll have the patience to see this through!_ He thought as he considered Thor’s words.  He was normally pretty patient, but his partner’s ignorance was really testing him.  _Still_ , he thought as he gazed into the impossibly blue eyes earnestly watching him, waiting for a response, _That ‘hurt puppy’ look he’s sporting right now is pretty adorable!  It would be pretty difficult to stay mad at that…_ Loki thought with a smile, at the same time reflecting that his partner would die if he knew what he was thinking.

"You know, contrary to what you believe, I am NOT infatuated with the idea of being married to you.” Loki said finally, standing up to refill his coffee cup.  “I am not in some delusional state of mind where I have lost touch with reality! This is an assignment, and I'm simply trying to make the best of it.  I don't think it would hurt anything if I made you breakfast and we ate together, do you?”  He said sternly, but holding out a coffee cup as a peace offering at the same time, softening his words a bit.

Thor stood, accepting Loki's reprimand and conceding, with a slight shake of his head, that Loki was right. He needed to get perspective on the situation, otherwise, he would miss things important to the investigation. And all because he was uptight about working with a gay man.  “No, no it wouldn’t” he said, chuckling as he reached for the proffered cup.  “Let me just go scrape my breakfast off the bedroom walls, and I’ll be right back” he said walking out of the room.  As he exited, he caught a glimpse of Loki rolling his eyes at the exaggerated comment, but there was a smile playing on his lips that told Thor they would be okay.

After reheating his meal, Thor settled across from Loki at the dining room table.  “Wow, the boy CAN cook!  Thor said with a smile after taking a few bites of his meal. 

“What can I say?  Loki said, clearly pleased with himself “I’m a man of many talents”

“Yeah,” Thor said, his smile slipping “I haven’t really given you much credit, have I?”

“Well, you’d never tasted my cooking” Loki said lightly, trying to keep the conversation light.  The resulting smile that bloomed on Thor’s face from his comment made him inwardly shiver.

“Not just the food” Thor said gesturing with his fork. “Everything.  You’re a good cop.  I read your file when you first arrived.  All the Cases you were involved in… you had one of the best solve ratios in your Vegas precinct.  Plus, you’re smart!” He said animatedly. “You knew about the tech we’re using here, and you know about all of this stuff hanging on the walls around here” he said gesturing around the room.  “My point is, you’re an interesting guy, and we could be friends if I could get over my fuckin’ hang-ups.”

Loki ducked his head down and smiled, somewhat uncomfortable with Thor’s assessment of him.  “Thanks, Thor.  I want to get to know you too.” Smiling more widely, he continued “I’m glad you’re finally coming around, because I want to take full advantage of living in this beautiful place.  Just because I live in a tiny basement studio apartment with just the bare necessities doesn’t mean I don’t love beautiful things.”  He gazed around the room in wonder. “Maybe you’re right, maybe I _am_ part of a stereotype, but can you blame me?  I’m living under the same roof with original works by Degas, Lautrec, Picasso, and Schiele! The paintings over the bed are Lichtensteins!”

Thor smiled at Loki’s enthusiasm. “Is that what you studied in school?  Art?”

“Nah, but I’ve always been drawn to it.  Everything I know, I’ve taught myself.  I’ve always devoured any books on art history… snuck away to museums and galleries when I had the chance… then I’d make drawing after drawing, trying to replicate what I’d seen… they never did the originals justice, of course,” he said smiling, a faraway unfocused gaze on his face “Growing up in foster care…” He furrowed his brow, lost somewhere in the past for a moment “well… there just… there just wasn’t a whole lot of beauty out there…”

 “Loki?” Thor said cautiously when he didn’t continue.

"And now I’m here!” Loki said suddenly, coming back to the present.  He took a couple of bites of his breakfast, more to gather his thoughts than anything else.  He looked around before settling his eyes on Thor. “Back then, I could never have imagined such a place.  Now that I’m here, I intend to enjoy it as much as possible.”

“Wow,” Thor said, at a loss for what to say.  He had grown up in such a nuclear family and this glimpse into Loki’s past had rattled him somewhat.  He did, however, sense that Loki was uncomfortable at having shared too much and decided to try put him at ease.  “I knew you were well versed in all of this because… well… the cover called for it, but I didn’t know you were actually obsessed with it!” he said grinning.

“Hey, if some rich guy wants to foot the bill to help us play the part, who am I to argue?” Loki said with a smile.  “I’m just doing my job, but if I get to have my coffee in front of a Rembrandt while doing it, so be it.” He said, taking a sip from his mug.  Prior to starting their cover, they were told that that some rich, influential member of the gay community had offered the department all the necessary perks needed to make their cover believable, such as the well-decorated, art-heavy apartment.  In addition to being married, their dossiers also listed them as partners in a high-end design firm, and Loki knew his knowledge of art had been key in landing him a role in this investigation. He was supposed to be the art side of the firm while Thor handled the business side. Bios had been established, portfolios readily available, happy clients listed, it was all there. Now Thor and Loki needed to make everyone around them believe it was true.

Thor laughed heartily at Loki’s comment.  “Well, it may all be important art, but I still don’t get it.  If I squint then maybe, _maybe_ I can get the comic-strip-looking things in the bedroom, but those nervous-looking drawings of half-naked women in the den?  Come on!  Those’re just creepy”

“Oh my God, I can’t take this!” Loki raised his eyes upward, “Kill me now!” He said dramatically, clutching his chest with one hand while his other hand covered his eyes in mock despair, while Thor laughed even harder.  After a moment, he redirected his gaze towards his partner with a smile.  “You know, you should have at least cursory knowledge of some of these artists as well.  After all, you are part of Carter Evans Design too.”

“Business side!” He said, standing and taking their plates to the sink “I keep the business side going, you handle all the artsy stuff”

“Artsy stuff” Loki said under his breath with a laugh as he finished clearing the table.  It wasn’t the first time he’d heard art and design be wrapped up and dismissed out of hand as something frivolous, and he wasn’t necessarily surprised by Thor’s assessment, but it never ceased to amaze him that something as big and important and… _relevant_ to humanity was belittled so much.

They washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen in companionable silence, working together surprisingly easily, as if they’d been doing this together for a while. “Tell you what” Thor said while dried a dish “maybe during our stay here, you can educate me on some of the art here.  No! I’m serious!” He said with a laugh, seeing Loki’s annoyed expression.  “I mean, I’m sure we’ll have some down time, then you can fill me in on all there is to know about the squiggly-lined, half-naked women”  He said with a grin.

“I’ll do it” Loki said with a sigh as he put the leftover breakfast ingredients back in the refrigerator “If only so I don’t have to hear you refer to Egon Schiele’s work as ‘squiggly lined’!” He said, sounding annoyed, but Thor thought he spied his mouth curl into a small smile as he spoke, making him feel they would be okay.

. o O o .

Both men headed off to the precinct separately to coordinate the information collected by the various surveillance devices and their own recollections of the previous evening.  Thor had offered to drive them, but Loki made an excuse about needing his car later for errands and declined.  Even though their brief talk in the dining room had salvaged the morning, Loki looked forward to the respite their separation brought.  Although life had hardened him against assumptions made about him, Thor's comments seemed to penetrate just under the skin. As a fellow investigator, he demanded his respect and not his derision and, even though he acknowledged that Thor _was_ trying, it was still draining.  _It’s for the best_ , he thought, almost sure that the look that passed over Thor’s face wasn’t disappointment at not driving in together.

Even though they were working on the same case, Loki didn’t anticipate they would spend very much time together.  Thor was going to go over past offender’s files, while Loki intended to spend some time at I.T. to get a better understanding of some of the tech they were using.  Contrary to what he was used to at his other post, this precinct had some pretty cutting edge tech at his disposal, and he was eager to learn as much as possible about it. 

He headed for his desk first, noting that Thor wasn’t at his, and proceeded to sort through paperwork that was left in his in-box.  As he worked, Loki kept glancing up and to the left, in the direction of Thor’s desk, idly wondering where his partner could be, since the task he had assigned himself could be done from his desk.  _He’s a big boy, Loki_ , he told himself.  _It’s none of my business where he does his work._   He turned his attention to the files before him and was soon engrossed in some past case summaries.

As he read, he came across a particular homicide case from a few years back that had involved artwork.  A couple going through a divorce were having a bitter custody battle over a Léger painting and the wife had ultimately killed her husband over it.  When questioned, she had simply said he didn’t deserve to own such beauty.  Loki smiled at the comment and instinctively looked to Thor’s desk, wanting to share this with him.  When he didn’t see him, he realized that he missed him.  He had an honest, straightforward way about him that, once he got used to it, Loki found refreshing.  Some of the people he had surrounded himself with of late could tend to be pretentious or snobbish, and Thor was a good change of pace.  He didn’t know how much time had passed when he was suddenly taken out of his thoughts by the distinct sound of Thor’s voice.  His insides clenched a little in an anticipation he berated himself for.  What’s that about?  He thought to himself.  I just saw him a few hours ago!  Still, he looked around the room for his partner, finding him across the room in the doorway.  He was standing halfway inside, directing his attention to someone in the hall, speaking animatedly about something or other.   He was speaking quickly, sounding almost agitated, and Loki found himself practically stretching out of his seat, the paperwork before him all but forgotten, as he strained to hear what the conversation was about.  Try as he might, though, Loki only heard the low rumble of Thor’s voice, calmer now, as if trying to placate someone.  As Loki watched, the person Thor was speaking to stepped forward into the doorway, coming into Loki’s line of sight.  _Jane from Records_ , Loki thought.  As he continued watching Jane reached out wrapping her hands behind Thor’s neck, pulling him down to her level for a kiss.  Thor then wrapped his arms around the tiny woman’s waist and picked her up, making her squeal in delight.  Loki felt something tighten in his gut and felt a cold wash over him, then suddenly jolted, realizing he’d been staring.  He looked down and stared at one of the documents on his desk, trying to order his thoughts.  _So that’s the girlfriend_ , he thought, shuffling papers around.  Loki knew about her… knew she existed, just not here in the precinct!  He stopped for a moment, considering why it bothered him _.  It just doesn’t seem… right… PDAs here at work…_ Loki thought prudishly.  _For anyone!  Not just Thor!  It seems unprofessional…I should probably say something, since as his husband I should be looking out for-- partner! Partner, NOT husband!_ He corrected himself, sitting up straight in his chair.  Whoa, that was some slip… Loki let out a startled laugh as he rubbed a hand over his face to clear his head.  _Talk about getting invested in the role!  I need to get some distance,_ he thought looking up at the couple, now standing very close together, murmuring to each other _before I say the wrong thing and make an ass of myself!_   He swiftly collected his things, stuffed some files in his messenger bag and headed out the opposite door as quickly as possible.

The I.T. division had expanded greatly in the past couple of years.  What used to be just a large lab now occupied the entire floor twelfth floor of the building, and housed, among other things, a state-of-the-art research lab and a large monitoring station with row after row of computer terminals, all facing a large master terminal at the front.  Its white walls and glass partitions, along with the constant hum of the equipment, always reminded Loki of some science fiction movie.  He’d always had an affinity for computers and technology, and he would have probably pursued that career exclusively if his circumstances had been different.  But after a childhood of feeling persecuted, unsafe and in danger, the only thing that gave him solace and security was law enforcement.  Only after going through the academy and becoming a cop did he feel truly safe after everything he’d been through. 

He shook himself out of his reverie and looked around, until he spied his friend Bruce Banner, the senior systems analyst for the ITD, off to the side, deep in conversation with someone.  Bruce had been one of the first people he had met when he’d first arrived.  Loki had been given a tour of the precinct and returned to the ITD, eager to see what was being worked on.  Bruce had been very accommodating and had answered all of Loki’s questions no matter how tedious.  He was a rather slight man, soft spoken, wearing rumpled clothes and wire rimmed glasses, and Loki had liked him immediately.  It was only after one of the other techs had interrupted that Loki realized Bruce was the Man In Charge.  He had apologized profusely for taking up so much of his time, but Bruce only smiled and encouraged him to come back any time.  Loki had taken him up on it and they’d been friends ever since.

Loki had wanted Bruce to review the remote link he had established from their surveillance at the condo the day before, making sure he hadn’t missed anything.  It had seemed pretty straightforward at the time, but this was Bruce’s tech, after all.  There was no one who knew it better, and Loki would rest easier with Bruce’s approval.  As he hung back, debating whether or not to interrupt the two men deep in conversation, when Bruce looked his way.

“Hey! What a surprise!” Bruce exclaimed with a smile.  “Come on over here, John.  You’ve gotta see this” he said as he beckoned Loki over. 

“It’s not really… meant to… to be seen… yet“ the man standing next to Bruce said uneasily.

“Don’t worry about it,” Bruce said smiling.  “This guy’ll appreciate this.” He turned to Loki as he approached.  Tony, this is John.  John, Tony.   Tony,” Bruce said, with a hand on Tony’s shoulder “Was just showing me some new tech he’s working on”

“Oh, you’re an engineer here?” Loki said shaking Tony’s hand.

“God, no!” Tony said with a shudder.  “I come slumming down here from time to time to remind this guy how much more he could be making if he joined the private sector.”

“And to show off his toys” Bruce said impatiently. “Come on Tony, show him!”

Tony pressed two buttons on the side of a flat black square sitting on the tabletop before them.  He then placed his palm on top of its flat glass-like surface and lifted it straight up.  Instantly, a small replica of an office emerged, formed seemingly of blue light.  From Loki’s vantage point he could just make out furniture and a computer. 

“That’s my office” Bruce said excitedly.  “The sensor’s in there now.  This is a real-time image”

“That’s amazing!” Loki said, mesmerized.  “Is it a… 3D projector of some kind?”

“Not exactly,” Tony said evasively.  “But we’re hoping to mass produce something like this in the future for officers to use before entering unknown territory.” He said, pushing some buttons, causing the little blue room to disappear.

“Wow,” Loki said, amazed “If we were assigned these, eventually, they could minimize injuries or even deaths.”

“That’s the plan” Tony said smugly.  “You might say I have a vested interest in keeping cops safe.” A smile danced across his face, but his eyes held a fierce look to them.  “So, are you a beat cop John?”

“No I’m a detective in… wait a second… Tony… engineer…You’re Tony Stark!”  Loki said suddenly, recognizing the man.  Stark Industries had been in some trade papers some months ago, pledging to further develop technology for police departments throughout the state.  Since that pledge, I.T. departments like this one had improved tremendously.  It was believed, though not proven that Stark was not only the owner and CEO of the company, but the lead engineer as well.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.” Loki said, shaking the other man’s hand earnestly. “The work your company’s done has helped us do our job much more effectively.”

“What’s with this ‘sir’ crap?” Tony said, pulling his hand away and busying himself with collecting his equipment, a small smile on his face. “What happened to just ‘Tony’?” He said, sounding uncomfortable.

“Smarts he’s got, but he still needs work on taking compliments” Bruce said laughing.  “Tony, there are many other cops around here like Detective Loki that would love to meet you and shake your hand, if you gave them a chance”

Upon hearing the name, Tony suddenly stopped, spinning around to face the startled detective. “Detective Loki?” He said with a smile.

“Yes… I’ve only just moved here recently… is there a problem?” Loki said warily, a bit uncomfortable at the man scrutinizing stare.

“No, no” Tony said after a moment.  Just… that’s an unusual name.”  He said, picking up his things and heading towards the door.  “Anyway, shame on me.  Here the two of you obviously have work to do and I’ve been wasting your time… better get going… Lots to do!” He called out as he exited the door, a whirlwind of energy.

“Wow.” Loki said, taken aback.  “Is he always that… manic?”

“Not always,” Bruce said thoughtfully.  “But you never know with that guy.”  Anyway, you had some questions for me on the surveillance?  Lets take a look” He said, as the two busied themselves in front of Loki’s laptop.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the latest installment! I'm posting the chapters I already have written as I format them, so for a while I'll be posting a few a day. Thanks so much for reading! It's great getting comments. :-)

Loki returned to the apartment in the early afternoon, laden with files from the precinct.  After they reviewed Loki’s work with the surveillance system, Bruce taught Loki how to use some diagnostic software to make sense of the data he collected.  He anticipated this information would keep him and Thor busy for the evening.  As he made his way through the entryway of their building, he caught sight of Randall, chatting with two other men that he recognized from the party.

“Good afternoon Mr. Evans-Carter, I hope you’re having a good day” Randall said, ever solicitously.

“Yes, I am, Randall, and it’s Loki, please” Loki said, slowing his pace.

“Of course.  Loki” Randall said, blushing slightly. “It’s a beautiful day and a lot of the tenants are congregating at the south pool for an early-afternoon cocktail.  I hope you’ll be able to join” the man said, glancing at him longingly.

“Thanks, but I think we’ll be staying in tonight.  Maybe some other time” Loki said uneasily, not missing Randall’s look.

“Well, we frequently have get-togethers around here” one of the other young men (Brian? Loki thought) spoke up “All kinds of get-togethers… Check the tenants-only website for a list of them, we’d love to have you join in” The young man said eagerly, and Loki didn’t miss the appreciative glances that he and the other young man threw his way as he smiled noncommittally and continued walking.

_Okay, was it my imagination, or was that a little weird_ , Loki thought as he continued on his way.  Loki knew that a lot of gay men didn’t give marriage and monogamy a lot of importance, but he happened to believe relationships should be respected.  As far as those guys knew, Thor and Loki were married, and it felt a little disconcerting that they would flirt with him, knowing that he was married.  As he walked towards the elevator, he was suddenly brought out of his thoughts by the feeling that he was being followed, and he glanced both ways but saw nothing.  He stepped in and pushed the button for his floor, chiding himself for being a little paranoid.  As the elevator doors were about to close, a hand slipped between them, forcing the elevator to reopen.  Loki tensed immediately, tightening his body in preparation to strike if necessary. 

"Loki, how wonderful to see you, sir!" Carl, the superintendent exclaimed as he entered the elevator. 

"Ah, Mr. Mikkelsen,” Loki said in relief, releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.  “How are you?" 

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Carl said staring intently at Loki. 

“No, no its quite alright,” Loki said with a smile, moving over to the side in the small space, making room for the other man “I’m still getting g used to the place, the different people, you know how it is…” His voice trailed off and his smile slipped a bit as he noticed that, while Carl had a smile on his lips, his eyes remained cold and serious.

Carl edged closer to Loki, standing directly in front of him, his penetrative stare never leaving the detective’s face.  Loki stepped back reflexively as Carl reached his hand out and brushed his fingers up and down over Loki’s bicep.

"What a beautiful shirt! The texture, it's so soft, and the color, it makes your eyes sparkle like precious gems." Carl said in a seductive whisper. 

_Well,_ this _is awkward…_ Loki thought. The instant Carl’s fingers touched his arm, Loki tensed.  He heard the ding of the elevator door opening and tried to exit, but Carl didn’t move aside, effectively blocking the door as he continued to study Loki as if in a daydream.  _What the hell?!? Entrapment? Really?_ Loki thought, finally breaking the spell by pushing his way past Carl, causing the bigger man to stumble.

"Sorry, these portfolios are heavy!” Loki said, holding up the satchels he was carrying in both arms, restricting his movements  _and allowing you to feel me up!_ He thought with annoyance as he started to walk away towards his door.

"Oh, I am so sorry, sir!”  Carl said, seeming to come back to the present “Let me help you with those!"

Loki's knee-jerk instinct was to say no, but realized this could be an opportunity to study this man closer.  He took a second to regroup, and rearranged his features to something other than disgust.  "Very well, if you don't mind?" he said pleasantly.

"It would be an honor!" Carl declared as he grabbed one of the satchels from Loki.

He followed Loki into the apartment, setting the bag down on an entrance table. Loki turned to thank the man and walk him back to the door but Carl moved past him into the living room, walking in with an intrusive, familiar manner that put set Loki’s nerves on end.  "You have such a beautiful place,” he said appraisingly “Such exquisite furnishings and artwork! Only a work of art as yourself could live in a place like this."

Loki wanted to roll his eyes, but smiled instead. He had met plenty of men like Carl, and knew instinctively to be wary of them.  "Please, you exaggerate." Loki said, as Carl drew closer to Loki.

"Nonsense!" Carl said, vehemently, moving towards Loki.  His tone caught the detective off-guard, causing him to take a step back.   _Maybe Thor was right about not being alone with this guy_ , Loki thought with a bit of panic, moving further back to avoid Carl’s advance.  He was finally stopped when his lower back hit a low table behind him.  Carl pressed his advantage (literally), crowding up against Loki.

“My, you are beautiful," Carl whispered, reaching up to brush his fingers over Loki’s cheek, his breath ghosting across the brunet’s face. Loki turned his head slightly, partly to avoid the man’s intense stare but also to seek out an escape route.

_Okay, genius, how’re you getting out of this one?_ Loki thought to himself.  He  _had_ wanted to get close to Carl, gain his confidence, in order to make headway with the case.  At this moment, however, he was more concerned with not getting assaulted!  “Um, Carl…” Loki murmured, not wanting to startle him as he tried to slide out from under the larger man’s bulk.  Carl moved surprisingly fast, resting his other hand deceptively casually on the table behind Loki, effectively stopping the other man’s movement.  Feeling trapped, Loki felt the panic growing within him and he felt himself tensing, in preparation to defend himself.  Just then, he heard the front door open and relief washed over him as he heard Thor’s familiar voice as he finished a phone call.

Carl immediately pulled back, but he continued to stare at Loki, with a haunting smile.  "We'll have to continue our conversation later sir," Carl said pleasantly as he bowed to Loki, and began walking towards the door, nodding to a surprised Thor as he passed him on his way out. 

Thor watched the door close behind Carl “What the hell just hap—“ but he abruptly stopped speaking as he took in the look on his partner’s face.  Loki looked ashen, his eyes were wide and he was breathing quickly.  “Loki, what—what? What’s wrong?” Thor sputtered as whipped his head back and forth between Loki and the door, torn between going after Carl and finding out if Loki was okay. 

"Nothing!" Loki said, quickly pulling himself together as he walked over to the couch and sat, smiling up at Thor “Carl helped me carry some things in the house, and lets just say, he’s got a  _really_ bad understanding of personal space” He said, trying for levity.

"What did I tell you about being alone with that guy?" Thor said loudly, pacing back and forth, exasperated.

Upon hearing Thor’s words, Loki bristled "And I told you I can take care of myself!" he yelled back, instantly annoyed.

"Yeah, well that look on your face when I walked in tells a different story.” Thor yelled back, turning to Loki.  “We don’t know this guy!  We don’t know what he’s capable of!” He stopped short suddenly, trying not to think about what  _could_ have happened if he had arrived just a few minutes later “What were you thinking?" Thor said, genuinely perplexed, trying to ignore the tight knot in his chest. 

"I was just trying to see how he would interact with me." Loki said, more sedate now, chastened a bit by Thor’s tone.

At Loki’s words, the memory of Carl’s face as he walked out rushed back to him.  He had looked oddly content and… smug.  Thor was suddenly filled with an unexplainable rage at the superintendent.  Still holding his phone in one hand, he reached out with the other to steady himself as the emotion washed through him.  He gripped the back of the armchair before him, using it to ground himself.  " _Interact?_ ” he huffed out, with a bitter laugh “I can tell you how he wants to interact with you, he wants to –“

"Stop, Thor!” Loki said, wearily, closing his eyes and throwing his head back on the couch while running a hand over his face.

"Goddammit!" Thor shouted, not being able to stop himself.  Loki's actions today had infuriated him. He was taking risks, without any consideration for his safety, knowing full well he was vulnerable. 

"He wants to  _fuck you_ ! He practically does it with his eyes and his words!" Thor shouted, gesturing with one arm as he spoke “Every time he’s around you, its like he’s a fucking dog in heat!”

Loki stood slowly as he listened to the larger man’s rant “Well, then that settles it!” Loki yelled, laughing sarcastically as he threw his arms up “Now we know what I need to do!  I’ll just whore myself out to the pervert!  Maybe by  _fucking_ him I’ll get us all the info we need—“

“Oh for God’s sake!” Thor yelled over Loki, “That is NOT what I’m saying!” he said, gesturing towards his partner.  As he did, his phone flew out of his hand and directly at Loki, hitting him right below his left eye. Loki yelled in pain, bringing both hands to his face protectively.

"Shit!” Thor muttered running towards Loki’s side, trying to pry the brunet’s hands away from his face.  “I’m sorry Loki!  I didn’t mean to hit you!”  Loki shoved Thor away and raised a hand to his face, gingerly pressing the flesh of his quickly bruising cheek.  "What the  _fuck_ , Thor!?" he said accusingly.

"Loki, I'm so sorry!” Thor said helplessly as Loki walked away “It slipped out of my hand, it was an accident!”  he called out, but his partner had already walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

They spent the rest of the evening avoiding each other, each doing their own thing on opposite sides of the apartment.  Thor felt like a complete ass for overreacting earlier, and decided to give Loki space away from him.  He turned on the TV to some random football game and stared at the screen, not really watching, lost in thought.   _Why did I have to go ballistic like that?_   Thor thought to himself  _He was just doing his job, gathering intel_ .  Now that he had had the time to cool off, he could see how ridiculous he had been.  In this line of work, by necessity, they’ve all put themselves in some kind of danger at one time or another.  This was no different.  Thor should have just assisted Loki.  Instead he’d acted like a… a…  _a jealous, overprotective Neanderthal husband_ his mind supplied, making him wince.  But it wasn’t Loki putting himself in danger that had pushed him over the edge.  No, if he had to be honest with himself, it was the moment Loki had suggested sex with the creep that he’d almost lost it.  He’d known it was a just a joke –  bad one, but still… hearing Loki make a comment like that about himself had angered Thor to no end.  Regardless, the fact that he had injured Loki made him feel sick to his stomach.  Never mind that the phone flying out of his hand had been a complete accident.  He wanted to make amends but was at a complete loss as to how to go about it.

When Loki had emerged from the bathroom, he could hear the television playing in the front room, so he decided to go into the little book-lined study and attempt to get some work done.  He sat before his laptop, writing reports, or at least, trying to write reports, but not entirely succeeding.  His thoughts kept wandering back to the confrontation with Thor.   _This investigation is falling apart_ , Loki thought, frustrated.   _If my own partner has doubts about my abilities as an investigator, how can we possibly do our job successfully?_ He shut his laptop in frustration, giving up all pretense of doing any work, and just stared straight ahead, pondering the situation.   _What were they thinking assigning Thor to this case?  He can’t handle this lifestyle!_ Loki lightly brushed his fingers against his bruised skin and winced slightly at the sting.   _He’s wound so tight that anything can make him fly off the handle!_ Loki thought, slightly confused, because what other explanation could there be for him getting so agitated with the situation earlier?  _Still_ , he thought with a small grin,  _I’m glad he showed up when he did…_ His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing.  He heard Thor speaking to someone and decided to find out who it was.

As he entered the living room, Loki recognized the short, stocky balding man as Michael, their new neighbor, standing at the door talking to Thor.  “What a pleasant surprise,” he called, smiling in greeting.  The two men turned towards Loki and gasped in surprise.  Loki suddenly remembered his face and his smile faltered as he realized the bruise must have colored considerably since he was struck.   _I must look like shit_ , he thought, judging from Michael’s shocked look and the pained expression on Thor’s face.

The awkward silence was finally broken by Thor "Honey,” he said moving towards Loki tentatively, arm extended to grasp the other man’s hand in his “We’ve been asked to go to Michael's for drinks, but I’ve told him you weren't feeling well."

Loki was momentarily stunned by Thor's term of endearment and affectionate gesture.  His eyes darted down to their joined hands, then up at Thor, who regarded him almost fearfully, awaiting his reaction to the physical contact.  _This is him making an effort_ , Loki suddenly realized, as he felt his partner’s hand in his.  _It’s hard for him, yet he’s willing to try…_ Loki felt a rush of affection towards Thor at the thought.  He gave Thor’s hand a quick squeeze and smiled at him before turning to their guest. "Nonsense!  It sounds like fun, we’d love to go!”

Now, it was Thor’s turn to be stunned.

“W-wonderful!” Michael stammered, as he smiled hesitantly at the two men.  He’d been shocked by Loki’s appearance and now he was intrigued by how the two interacted with each other.   _Well well well…_ he thought glancing back and forth between the two men  _Trouble in paradise, I see… looks like the perfect couple isn’t as perfect as everyone assumed…_ “It’ll be wonderful to have you join,” he said as he backed out the door, eager to return home and tell the others about what he’d seen “Everyone will be thrilled to see you!  Don’t be late!” he called, waving as he quickly walked away.

As the door closed behind Michael, Thor turned to Loki, who had hastily pulled his hand away from Thor’s and was now moving towards the bedroom. "Why did you say yes? With that bruise, you know there'll be questions."

“Yep, I’m counting on it” Loki said smiling as he stopped and turned to Thor "That's why I said yes."

“You  _want_ questions?” Thor said incredulously “What’re you going to say happened?”

“Oh, I’m going to tell them you hit me” Loki said offhand, as he walked towards the bedroom, leaving Thor frozen in place, speechless.

A moment later, Thor walked into the bedroom, taking a deep breath before finally speaking. “First of all, it. Was. An.  _Accident_ !”  He said, enunciating every syllable slowly.  “Second, we’re supposed to be undercover here, flying under the radar while we investigate.  How will flaunting this  _accident_ or exposing me as some type of brute help?  It’s just going to become fuel for the gossip mill around here!”

Loki had remained quiet while Thor spoke, gazing at him impassively.  “That’s exactly what I hope  _will_ happen" Loki said exasperatedly.  Thor continued to direct a frown at him.  “Don’t you see?” Loki sighed “This," Loki said pointing to his bruised and swelling cheek "shows there’s trouble in our relationship.  Everyone’ll want to know the dirty details, what happened, what’s going on between us… and people will take sides.  Some will talk to you, some will talk to me… We’ll be able to cover a lot of ground without arousing suspicion.” Loki finished, smiling smugly.

Thor was fascinated by Loki’s animated mood as he described his plan.  Despite this, though, he was still frustrated by the situation.  This was  _so_ not the way he was used to conducting an investigation!  But at least Loki was speaking to him again, so he nodded in agreement.  “Okay, then.  Lets get going.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, finally, a little action! My favorite chapter to date!  
> As always, the wonderful artwork belongs to GoLikeThat. Check out his gallery on DeviantArt.com

The two men made their way to their neighbors’ apartment a half hour later.  As Loki rang the doorbell, Thor grabbed his hand.  “I think we should stick together tonight. Especially if that superintendent is here." He mumbled quickly, before the door opened.  Loki merely shrugged, turning his head slightly to hide a smile he couldn’t seem to suppress.

"Hi there!” Jordie, Michael’s husband said animatedly as he opened the door. “You two look -- great!” he said, not able to resist staring at Loki.  “Come on in, everyone’s in the living room” he said, grasping each man’s forearm and guiding them through the foyer.

A communal greeting came from all the men gathered as Loki and Thor entered the spacious apartment.  Everyone greeted them a bit too loudly, fake smiles straining on their faces.  _I guess Michael didn’t waste any time spreading the news of my appearance_ , Loki though wryly.  He decided to address the elephant in the room head-on, playing it up for maximum effect.  He stood in front of the men, pointing to his bruise and joking: "I got this from Thor, what do you think?"  Loki played it up beautifully, quirking his lips into a smile that he looked like he was struggling to maintain, his eyes looking pained, the very picture of a Long Suffering Husband.  There was a beat of silence when everyone just stared, not sure what to say.  Then, everyone started speaking at once. 

“Oh, sweetie, it’s hardly noticeable—“

“These things happen—“

“A little concealer will do the trick—“

Loki soaked it up, playing up his injury perfectly, casting his eyes downward, and smiling sadly, gaining everyone’s sympathy.  A few men even turned to actually give Thor looks of derision!

"Okay, okay Loki." Thor interrupted. "You know it was an accident!”

"Yes, of course… an _accident_ " Loki said, his voice breaking a little.  Thor turned to him in alarm, thinking his partner was really hurting, only to catch a secret wink and smile as Loki took a sip from his drink.  Thor closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a chuckle, surprised at what a good actor Loki turned out to be.

 “You’re laying it on a little thick, aren’t you?” Thor muttered as he leaned against the bar while Loki poured himself a drink.  They had finally met up again after circling the party separately.  “You’ve been very popular, putting on a ‘brave face’ to all your suffering!” He said smiling slightly, gazing into the room in general while Loki brought his drink to his lips, attempting to hide a smile.  The two were standing close, yet pretending to be ignoring each other.

“Stop it!” Loki hissed while looking in the opposite direction.  “We’re supposed to be secretly estranged!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Thor whispered turning to Loki, genuinely confused

“We’re a married couple who are having problems but we don’t want anyone else to know about” Loki said quietly, directing a very realistic looking sad expression at Thor.  His eyes became slightly brighter with unshed tears, a look of anguish across his face, which he held for a moment before looking down and away, a slight smile on his lips.

Thor stared back at his partner with a look that was a mix of wonder and amusement. “Oh, you are positively diabolical!” he said chuckling.  “How can you turn it on and off like that?”

“Years of practice” Loki said cryptically, leaning into the blond and smiling conspiratorially.  Thor returned the smile almost without realizing, caught up in Loki’s mirth.  He unconsciously leaned in to Loki as well, enjoying the warm moment they were sharing, nearly forgetting where they were for a moment. 

Their moment was interrupted as Thor turned towards Eric Laufeyson, who was approaching them with a determined look on his face.  They had been introduced to him at the pool party previously, and even from that little interaction, they knew he was the unofficial leader at this group.  He was an imposing man, a wealthy businessman, accustomed to getting what he wanted. His influence was renowned and somewhat feared.  All the other men seemed to defer to him on pretty much any issue, and respected his opinion unequivocally.  “Good evening Eric,” Thor said, extending his hand towards the other man. 

Eric made a point of looking at Thor’s extended hand, but didn’t shake it.  "Thor, you and Loki are now part of our little community, and we watch out for our members, even from their own partners” He turned towards Loki, even though he was still speaking to Thor “Now I believe you when you say this was an accident,” He reached out and gestured towards Loki’s face “but if I ever felt you could willingly hurt this angel,” He turned his gaze directly at Thor “I would find myself needing to do something about it"

Everyone in the room had been pretending they weren’t trying to eavesdrop on the conversation, but by the time Eric finished speaking the pretense had been abandoned and the other men were openly staring at the trio.  Thor stood rigidly, the only movement a muscle that twitched at his jaw as he fought to control his anger.  What the fuck? Is this guy threatening me?  Thor thought as the two men stood face to face, the tension between them palpable.

The silence was finally broken by Eric’s casual laugh “Of course I’m joking Thor!” he said, backing away even as he reached a hand up and stroked a shocked Loki’s arm. “As I said, I believe you when you say this was an accident!” He said with a teasing smile.

Loki shrank away from Eric’s touch and took a step towards Thor, announcing his allegiance to his ‘husband’ without saying a word.  He grasped his partner’s arm, in an effort to relieve the tension he perceived there.  The action startled Thor, who was still staring at the older man, not saying a word.  The touch seemed bring his thoughts back to the present, and he walked away from the group without a word. Loki turned a sweeping gaze at the group of men standing around, staring openly at them before turning to follow Thor into the kitchen he had escaped to.  He found his partner opening a beer he had just taken out of the fridge.

"Thor, talk to me.” Loki said, leaning against the kitchen island, arms crossed.

“What do you want me to say?  I think your number one fan Laufeyson said everything that needed to be said.” Thor said angrily before downing half the beer.  “Look, I’m gonna go.  You go ahead and stay.  Besides, you seem to be quite popular here.” He gestured towards the living room with his beer bottle before drinking the rest.

“Come on, do you really think that’s necessary?” Loki said placating.

“What?  You don't need my company. Besides” He said sarcastically, leaning in “I've been _warned_ not to hurt you!" Thor punctuated his words by poking his finger at Loki’s chest.

Loki rolled his eyes at the comment. "Thor, please! Eric was just joking."

"Oh, Eric, is it?” Thor said mockingly, opening another beer and taking another drink.

" _Mr. Laufeyson_ was just joking.” Loki amended. “Come on, he was just being dramatic, don't read too much into it."

"Dramatic!?” Thor said incredulously “Loki, he literally threatened me!"

“Really?” Loki said, smiling at Thor “You felt threatened by him?  Because I’m pretty sure you could take him if you had to” he said grinning. 

The words seemed to finally placate Thor, who huffed out a laugh as he drank some more, actually feeling a buzz from drinking too quickly.  “Fair point.  But Laufeyson’s little speech, coupled with that” he said pointing at Loki’s eye “Have pretty much cemented my status as a pariah around here.  I’ll go ahead and go.”

“Then I’ll go with you” Loki said, pushing away from the counter and automatically taking Thor’s arm “It wouldn’t be right to have my husband leave without me” he said as they walked out of the kitchen.

As the detectives entered the living room, they were greeted by the group as a whole, who seemed to have been engaged in a conversation about them.  Michael, their host, now quite inebriated, rushed up to Thor and Loki and grasped each man by the hand, pulling them forward.  “There you are!” he cheered “We were starting to worry!”

“No, Everything’s fine,” Loki said pleasantly, “We’re just gonna get going.  It’s been a long day, after all…” 

“No, no, no!  Not before you hear our brilliant idea!” Michael said, amidst murmurs of agreement from the crowd at large.  “We have a solution for your problem: We all think you should kiss and make up!"

Loki stared at Michael, speechless and mortified.  Thor’s temper was tenuous at best, and he would not be able to handle the men’s teasing.  He didn’t dare turn to look at his partner, but he could just imagine the expression on his face, anticipating his anger.  _God, he’s gonna freak out!_ Loki thought as he heard the men’s cheers and words of encouragement to ‘just kiss already!’ _This’ll definitely throw him over the edge_ Loki thought warily.

If Loki had turned to look at Thor he would have been thrown by the surprised and amused expression.

As soon as they had walked back into the living room, Thor had noticed the mood in the room had changed to one of excited anticipation.  Suddenly everyone was egging them on to kiss, making cat calls and clapping.  _These bastards are using us as their entertainment!_ Thor thought with amusement.  _They want to see how far they can push us… what it’ll take to really embarrass us…_ Thor cocked an eyebrow as he looked at Loki, floundering and babbling nervously _Maybe we should teach them a lesson…_ he thought.

“Um, uh,” Loki started, shaking his head “I – I don’t think that’s” but his words were cut off as Thor grabbed his face with both hands and brought Loki’s lips to his.  The next thing he knew, his mouth was being consumed by Thor’s, as the larger man forcefully pressed his lips to his.  Loki stood still in abject shock for what seemed like an eternity but what was probably only a few seconds.  _Oh. My. God! Thor’s kissing me… Kissing...  Me._ Loki’s mind was a jumble of feelings and sensations, with thoughts flitting in and out _I Should probably stop this…_ he thought as Thor’s hands slid down to his back, pulling him closer.  Loki’s lips fell open and _holy shit, that’s his tongue! Kissing.  Me_ , he thought wildly as his mind fell silent and blank under the bombardment of sensations.  Reason came back with a jolt as Loki realized he may not get this chance again.  He quickly surged forward, grasping his hands behind Thor’s neck and he kissed him back like his life depended on it.  _This is so wrong,_ he thought as he pushed his fingers up, gripping fistfuls of Thor’s hair bringing him as close as he could and yet still not close enough, as his tongue tangled with Thor’s, involuntarily moaning into the larger man’s mouth.

What had begun as a show of one-upmanship for Thor had gotten out of hand very quickly.  One minute, he was in control, pressing a hard kiss against Loki’s lips, the next all rational thought was washed away as Loki sucked on his tongue in the absolutely filthiest way.  _Okay, end of lesson…_ he thought.  _We should stop… stop now…_   He knew he should stop but Jesus, Loki tasted so good… so good… good in ways he never thought possible… vodka cranberry, hints of mouthwash, adrenalin and… just… _Loki!_ He was raw and masculine in ways Thor had never thought he’d ever find appealing.  His hands ran up and down Loki’s body even as he kept thinking _stopstopstopstop!_   He’d never felt heat like this.  Not once.  It was unsettling and exhilarating at the same time.  He felt off-balance and for a wonderful moment, he lost himself.  His partner shifted his body slightly, pressing more of their bodies together, grinding ever so slightly, sending electricity through the both of them.

“Oookaaaay… wow… hey guys…” their host muttered with a nervous giggle.  The two men sprang away from each other as if shocked, suddenly remembering they were in a room full of people.  The other men began cat calls and whistles, some clapping and calling out “get a room!”

Loki wiped the corner of his mouth nervously as he looked around sheepishly.  He sensed Thor’s discomfort, so he addressed the group for the both of them.  "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but you did ask for a kiss.” He felt Thor’s arm wrap around his middle and leaned back towards him, sensing his partner’s discomfort  “And now I think we need to go."  

"Thank you!" Thor whispered into Loki's ear. He grabbed Loki’s hand and made his way towards the door, turning with a quick wave and a smile before walking out, pulling a still-talking Loki behind him.  As they walked out, they could still hear the shrieks and ‘oh-my-gods’ coming from the closed door.

Neither man spoke as they walked back to their apartment, an awkward silence looming between them.  Each thought maybe they should say something, but neither knew exactly what.  It’s as if their recent physical closeness had become an entity between them.  _Say something!_ Thor thought, not really sure if he was thinking of Loki or himself.  The closer they got to their apartment, the bigger and more oppressive their silence seemed to become.  By the time they reached their apartment door, the tension was so thick between them that Thor thought his head might burst from the pressure.  Just then, Loki’s phone rang, startling the two men.

“It’s my sister” Loki said, showing the phone to Thor “I’d better answer this.” Thor simply nodded and opened the door, walking into the apartment without a backward glance.  Loki sighed in frustration as he watched Thor walk away from him.  He thought they should probably talk about this, but reluctantly concluded that he’d leave the man be for a while.  “Hi Darcy, what’s up?” he said into the phone, walking into the study.

Closing the bathroom door behind him, Thor could still faintly hear Loki’s voice before he heard the study door close.  He stood at the sink, before the mirror and looked into his own eyes as he attempted to settle his nerves.  _What the hell was that all about?_ He wondered to himself as he regarded his own frowning face, the whole evening playing through his memory in a jumble.  He had KISSED Loki!  Where had that even _come_ from?  He’d like to lie to himself and say he didn’t know what came over him, but he knew exactly why he had done what he did.  Thor had always hated being scolded.  Even as a child, he would sulk for days if he was told he was doing something wrong.  Laufeyson’s warning to him was like waving a red cape at a bull.  _Who the fuck does that guy think he is?_   Thor thought angrily, turning away from his reflection and pushing his fingers through his hair.  _What gives him the right to stick his nose into our private relationship!  And warning me!  Me!  Like I would ever hurt Loki!_   _\-- (on purpose)_. He finished weakly, still feeling a little guilty about his partner’s bruised face, not even noticing that he had identified he and Loki in a relationship.  So… this is what his bullheadedness gets him! 

 _Wait a minute,_ he thought, his head snapping up as if someone else had spoken.  _I know why I kissed him, but… why did he kiss me back?_   In the short time he had known Loki, he had developed a grudging respect for the man.  He was smart, insightful, and had integrity, and even though Loki was gay, he didn’t think Loki would be the type of person to take advantage of a situation.  _He was just doing his job,_ Thor’s mind reasoned.  _Playing a part.  Convincingly.  Very convincingly!  If that was an act, then Loki’s one hell of an actor,_ Thor thought, his breath hitching a bit as he absently brushed his hand across his stiffening cock.  Thor’s gut clenched and he involuntarily shivered as, unbidden, thoughts of the kiss flooded his mind.  Loki’s mouth, hot and wet, opening up for him willingly, his hands gripping him tightly, while Thor’s own tongue invaded Loki’s mouth, licking and probing insistently as he pulled his partner in impossibly close…

“ungh!” Thor groaned out, as he rapidly pulled his hand away from himself, completely shocked and appalled.  Was _I really just jacking off to memories of kissing Loki?!?_ He wondered frantically.  _A… a GUY!  What is wrong with me?  I’m not gay!  I’m not into men!  Have NEVER been into men!  I mean, yes, the guy is fucking gorgeous, and an amazing kisser, so… No no NO!  Holy fuck!_ Thor thought, nearly in a panic, starting to pace.  _This has officially been a fucked up day,_ Thor thought.  First, the whole breakfast mess, then Jane nagging him about where their relationship was going, then the party, now this.  He had never been one confront his emotions, and this day had tested his meddle.  _I just need this day to end,_ he decided, heading out of the bathroom and entering the bedroom.  As he put on his t-shirt and sleep pants, he hoped that sleep would help him, bring him some clarity in the morning. 

Thor lay down and took a few calming breaths, willing himself to relax.  He looked over at his phone on the nightstand.  12:15. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his head, to drift off to sleep.  Instead, his thoughts kept drifting to Loki and the kiss… It had been good… _WHY_ had it been good?  Shouldn’t he have been repulsed? Loki was… was… Where was he anyway?  Thor looked over at his phone sitting on his nightstand.  12:25. Was Loki avoiding him?  Well, that was just… ridiculous!  They were both grown men… If Thor could be an adult about this and move past it ( _yeah, right!_ , a little voice in the back of his mind said) then so could Loki!  12:35. “Oh for fuck’s sake!”  Thor muttered, frustrated as he shot out of bed, stalking out of the room.

He found Loki in the study, the glow from the computer the sole light in the room.  He gazed at Loki, his head bent over the keyboard, intent on whatever he was reading there, his brow furrowed in concentration.  Thor felt a tightness loosen in his chest, feeling almost like relief, upon seeing his partner, which didn’t make sense, since he had just seen him an hour ago.  Loki was wearing his glasses, the monitor’s light shining on the lenses, making his eyes seem brighter… Thor jolted suddenly, annoyed for some unknown reason. "Loki!  It's late, come to bed!" he bellowed gruffly, before turning on his heel and walking back to the bedroom, not looking back.

Loki jumped at Thor’s sudden outburst, looking towards the doorway in alarm.  “Uh, Okay." he said, somewhat confused, but he began shutting down his computer and put his papers away, then followed his partner into the bedroom.

Thor stalked back into the room and threw himself back into the bed, getting under the covers in a huff.  He was frustrated and annoyed, and he had no idea why or at whom, which pissed him off even more.  He resolutely closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than putting this day behind him. 

Walking in to the bedroom, Loki regarded his surroundings warily.  He hadn’t been sure what their sleeping arrangements would be after the evening’s activities.  Thor was lying on the bed, eyes closed, but with a furrowed brow, indicating he was still awake.  Loki reached back and turned off the lights, not wanting to disturb his partner as he got ready for bed.  He and Thor hadn’t spoken more than a couple of words to each other since the kiss and then Thor had been in the bathroom, _hiding_ from him for a long time, so to say that Loki was surprised by Thor’s (there was no other word for it) _command_ that he come to bed was an understatement.  Loki began undressing as he reflected on the evening.  He had been frustrated by the lack of communication between them, but thought he should give his partner space, if that’s what he wanted.  Besides, he’d needed some time to deal with his sister and her problems. _Leave it to Darcy to bring more drama to my already fucked up life!_ He thought, smiling humorlessly.  Her frantic phone call, asking for money to stave off being evicted, had taken up most of his attention for the past hour.  He had made all the necessary arrangements to help her keep her place for another month, knowing it was just a temporary patch.  He hated being her crutch and knew that if he kept bailing her out she would never just grow up, quit her partying and take responsibility for herself, but he didn’t want Ian to suffer.  He doted on his 3 year old nephew, and knew that any help he gave Darcy would benefit him.  _I’ve got to resolve this,_ Loki thought, as he pulled his pajamas out of his drawer, _As soon as this case is over._

When the lights went out, Thor immediately opened his eyes, ready to berate Loki for turning them off, and to ‘just turn them back on if you need them for godsake’ but the words dissipated before he said them as he noted the fact that Loki was undressing.  Loki continued his task, unaware of his partner’s interest.  Thor gazed at him openly, even though in some part of his brain he knew it was wrong to watch and he should probably turn away.  Loki's slender figure was silhouetted against the large window in the room, his movements slow and graceful.  Thor could make out the line of his back muscles when he pulled his t-shirt over his head, and, as he put his pants on, the strong flex of his thighs as he brought his leg up… _Could I actually be attracted to Loki?_ He thought suddenly.  _No, no… that’s ridiculous!_ He reasoned, ignoring the titillation he had felt while watching Loki undress and the staccato beating of his heart.  He quickly turned away as Loki slipped into the bed, simultaneously glad for and frustrated by the distance between them.  As he felt the mattress shift with Loki’s movement, Thor’s thoughts drifted to memories of tonight, how Loki had interacted with all those men, how everyone responded to Loki’s gestures and mannerisms.  His smile… his laugh… everyone seemed to gravitate to Loki, and people were drawn in by his charm.  Thor felt his chest tighten as he was suddenly irrationally filled with a confusing mix of emotions: anger, resentment, confusion, desire…  No. No, he couldn't feel desire.  He _wouldn't_ feel desire.  He felt panic slowly building, which made him even angrier and he suddenly turned his anger towards Loki.  "You must’ve loved it when all those guys were fawning all over you, huh?"  Thor said with a sneer, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling.  Loki was startled by the voice emerging from the darkness.

"Excuse me?" Loki answered, perplexed.

"You heard me!" Thor's tone now obviously angrier.

Loki closed his eyes tightly in frustration. He could feel his own anger surfacing, and couldn't help but think _here we go again!_ "Wait a second, you actually think I’m _enjoying_ their attention?" Loki said, sitting up slowly and turning on the bedside lamp.  He turned his body to face Thor, who remained lying on his back, not turning to look at Loki.  "Are you really so biased that you can't even distinguish between the personal and the professional?  Can’t you see that what I do, how I behave is for the case and not personal!" Loki's almost shouted, his own anger rising the more he spoke.

"And what about the kiss? Thor said loudly, suddenly sitting up, facing Loki.  “Was that professional too?  I kissed you to get those queers off our backs, and you put your _tongue_ in my mouth! Was _that_ professional?"

The look on Loki’s face quickly went from angry to pained as he turned his gaze away from Thor.  "No, that was personal." He said quietly.

The tirade Thor had planned to continue quickly died on his lips as he stared open-mouthed at Loki.  He had kind of suspected that Loki would… but…  "Why Loki?" he finally managed, swallowing twice at the sudden lump in his throat.

At first, Loki remained quiet, staring at the floor, brow furrowed.  “Because its every gay man’s fantasy to have a straight man change teams!” he said with a laugh, trying for levity to escape this conversation.  Thor just leveled his gaze at him, not saying anything, waiting expectantly.  “And because… because I figured this would be my only chance to kiss you” he finished quietly, embarrassed by his own words.  Loki fought the urge to run away and never have to face Thor again.

Thor sat, dumbfounded, gazing at Loki's profile, not saying a word.  Loki let the silence stretch as long as he could, until he could no longer stand it.  "I'm going to ask to be taken off this assignment. It's obviously too much of a challenge for me."

"Wait, What?!" Thor said, finally jarred out of his stupor by Loki’s words. .  "Are you crazy? You can't leave!"  he sputtered, leaning forward, suddenly feeling a spike of anxiety at the mere idea.

"This was a crazy idea,” Loki said, getting up out of the bed “Who the hell thought two cops posing as a gay couple would be an effective front?” he said agitatedly.  “It’s ridiculous!”

Thor simply stared at Loki, suddenly quiet as his mind began racing.  All he could think of was _This can’t end!_   (Never mind the fact that he himself didn’t quite know what _this_ meant!)  Despite all the challenges they’d faced, all the confusion and awkward moments, he couldn’t remember when he’d felt more exhilarated. 

 _Okay, you fucked this up, now fix it you idiot_ !  He told himself "No.  No no no” Thor said resolutely, getting out of bed and rushing over to stand before Loki, who directed his gaze everywhere but at Thor.  “You're not leaving.  What the hell am I supposed to do without you?  I’m barely hanging on by a thread as it is, and that’s with you right here!” He reached out tentatively and put his hand on his partner’s shoulder, making Loki look at him.  “Imagine how badly I could fuck up if I was left to my own devices?”  He said with a grin, shaking Loki’s shoulder lightly, causing the brunet to chuckle, the tension on his shoulders relaxing.  Thor huffed out a deep relieved breath, which he disguised as a laugh, as he felt himself beginning to get through to Loki.  “Come on,” he said cajolingly, “it’s pretty obvious that I need you – I mean for the case!” He amended quickly.  “This assignment needs you” he said, lowering his arm and taking a step back, though not really sure why.  Loki walked slowly back to the bed, still not saying anything, still not looking at him.  “Look, we can make this work, okay?” Thor said, sitting on his side of the bed, but turning to look at his partner. “I _can_ get my act together and stop overreacting.  Just… give me another chance, come on…”

At Thor’s words, Loki finally looked up and was met with intense blue eyes, staring at him with an open, pleading expression.  “Waddaya say?”  He said softly, a small smile playing on his lips.  

Loki simply nodded his head in acknowledgement and lay back onto his pillow. Thor, relieved, did the same, not wanting to push his luck.  Loki turned off the light and turned his back to Thor, wanting to sleep and forget the day's events.  He closed his eyes, suddenly very tired as the events of the day washed over him.  As he began drifting off, the last thing he thought he heard before being enveloped by sleep was Thor’s voice speaking softly through the darkness.  By the way, you’re a pretty good kisser.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for your great comments. They're really encouraging. Please let me know what you think!

The sun’s rays coming in through the bedroom window caused Thor to wake. He slowly stretched and turned over, not really wanting to get out of bed just yet. The previous day and especially the evening had taken a lot out of him. Last Night! As the memories of the evening came flooding in, Thor risked a peek to the other side of the bed, to see if Loki was awake. The rest of the bed was empty. He quickly jumped out of bed, wide awake, his lethargy forgotten as he began to panic. Maybe Loki had left after all, deciding this (that he) was all more trouble than it was worth. It wasn’t until he looked in the closet and drawers and saw Loki’s clothes still there that he relaxed again. Okay, false alarm, he told himself.

Loki probably just left early to avoid an awkward situation. Yes, that seems very likely, he thought, as he quickly dressed for work. Nonetheless, the anxious feeling never left him.

When he arrived at the precinct, he found Loki at his desk, poring over case files. He looked up quickly and nodded to Thor in acknowledgement, before quickly returning to his work. Sensing Loki’s apprehension, he decided to give him space for the day. He had plenty to keep him busy anyway.

After last evening’s events, Thor had resolved to find out everything he could about one Mr. Eric Laufeyson. The guy had set him on edge and pissed him off with his little ‘joke’. He may have been smiling, but Thor wasn’t fooled. He knew a threat when he heard it, thinly veiled or not. Thor walked into the records room and settled at one of the terminals, nodding to Sargent Stillwell (in charge of the records department) gearing himself up for a long stay. He knew the task would be daunting, after all. The guy was pretty well known and constantly in the news for his charity and humanitarian work. But despite this, he was willing to put in the time to look into the background of someone who had threatened him!

An hour into his task, Thor was beginning to regret his decision. There was A LOT of stuff to go through! Thor was skimming articles, diligently cutting sections of text to his own document for later review, in order to go more quickly through the tons of files. Every once in a while, though, he would stop and pay particular attention to certain snippets of articles that would make him groan and mutter under his breath in disbelief. While he did have his critics, there were many people who greatly admired Laufeyson. And yes, maybe Thor was biased, but he still couldn’t believe people could adore this man so much.

His loudest reaction by far came after reading a particularly effusive article about Laufeyson regarding a series of teen after school programs his foundation had established.

Mr. Laufeyson’s exemplary devotion and dedication to the youth of America is second to none. His foundation has been instrumental in decreasing inner city dropout rates, and for that we owe him a debt of gratitude.

“Oh, please! You gotta be kidding me!” Thor said out loud after reading it.

“Is this for your murder investigation?” Stillwell said, looking over his shoulder at the search data. He had wandered over to Thor, curious after listening to the detective’s mutterings as he read through the items on his screen.

“Hmm?” Thor said distractedly, startled by the other man “Yeah, Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb. Just gathering some intel” he said, quickly saving his files to his USB and shutting down the terminal.

“You know, not that I don’t appreciate the company, but you can access all this stuff from the terminal at your desk,” Stillwell said amiably.

“Yeah, I hadn’t really thought about it until I was right outside your door!” he said lightly, trying for levity to mask his apprehension. He of course, knew that he could access files from his desk, but he didn’t want anyone (read: Loki) knowing he was researching Eric Laufeyson, so he had decided to be as far away from his desk while he did it. “I’d better get going,” he said quickly “Didn’t know I’d been here that long!” He said over his shoulder, walking out the door before Stillwell asked any more questions.

When he entered his department, Thor noted with some relief that Loki wasn’t at his desk. He was suddenly nervous about his partner finding out about his little side investigation. Even though he told himself that Laufeyson’s threat justified it, in the back of his mind, he knew he was being petty. The guy had gotten under his skin and he just wanted to somehow nail him. He sat at his desk and inserted his USB into his computer, ready to review the data he collected. Business dealings, charities, foundations, real estate holdings, the list seemed endless. He was about to get started when Captain Rogers walked into the department and up to Thor’s desk, looking harried. He rapped his knuckles on Thor’s desk once.

“In my office. Now.” He said quietly before heading into his office, leaving the door open.

Somewhat concerned at the captain’s serious demeanor, Thor stood and followed. Perhaps something had happened regarding one of the other cases? There had been a lot of activity lately in the narcotics division. Maybe there were new developments? He hurried into the office, curious to hear what his boss had to say. "Thor, come in, sit down,” the captain said, gesturing to a nearby chair. ‘Couple of things I need to say to you."

"Sure, sir, what is it?” Thor asked as he sat down, noting that the captain remained standing, adopting a rigid, stance and looking very uncomfortable.

“You’re researching Eric Laufeyson.” Captain Rogers stated flatly, directing his gaze at Thor.

Of all the possible reasons to be called in here, this was certainly not one Thor anticipated. The look on his boss’ face as well as the way he spoke told Thor the captain was upset, maybe even angry. What the fuck? Thor thought, suddenly on edge. He took a deep breath before answering. “Yes, I am,” he said slowly. “I wasn’t aware that my searches were being monitored.” Thor finished, meeting the captain’s gaze head-on.

“Not usually.” The captain said, not backing down “But when the name of a very rich, very influential man pops up continuously on a police department information query, it’s gonna be noticed. What are you looking for?”

“He’s one of our neighbors” Thor said, still regarding his captain warily. “A resident of the Sapphire Towers. I figured, since our investigation centers on the tower residents and he lives—“

"Stop. Just—stop." The captain said, cutting him off.

“Sir?” Thor said in confusion, not sure what his boss was saying. “Stop what? The investigation?”

“No… do your job, be thorough… just. leave. Laufeyson. Out of it.” The captain spoke the last words through clenched teeth, as if it was taking great effort to rein his temper in. Not knowing the reason for his boss’ anger, Thor became defensive.

“So I’m to conduct a partial investigation then?” Thor said as he stood, his voice rising “I’m researching all persons of interest—“

“You expect me to believe Laufeyson is one of your murder suspects?!” The captain said, just as loudly, slowly losing his grip on his temper.

“Sir, he threatened me last night! I’m an undercover detective investigating a murder, and a guy on the scene threatens me. I think that qualifies him to go on the suspect list!” Thor said with finality, satisfied that his argument was irrefutable. “Besides,” he said as an afterthought “He’s developed some weird attachment to Loki. It’s creepy, this strange protective interest…” He tapered off as he regarded his boss’ demeanor. Captain Rogers had closed his eyes and was pinching the bridge of his nose, as if staving off a headache.

“Look, I don’t know what happened last night, but you must have misunderstood.” The captain said, finally raising his head with a deep breath. “Listen Thor, the reason you don't need to investigate Mr. Laufeyson is because he’s responsible for this investigation in the first place"

“What?” Thor said, furrowing his brow, perplexed.

“Laufeyson’s the one who put everything in place for this investigation” the captain said tiredly, finally sitting at the corner of the desk. “The apartment, the cars, even your wardrobe. He supplied all the elements that made it possible for us to infiltrate this community and find the killer.”  
Stunned into silence, Thor dropped back into the chair he had recently vacated. There were so many thoughts hurdling through his mind, he had no idea where to start. So that fucker has known who we were all along? Is this some kind of game? Is he testing us? What? But the question that rose to the surface above all others was What about Loki? “Sir, what does Laufeyson have to do with Loki?” Thor said, finally finding his voice. He had wondered about the older man’s possessive behavior towards Loki all morning. He kept going over everything and didn’t seem to find a connection. He guessed the captain might be able to shed some light on things.

“One of the stipulations – actually the only stipulation – that Mr. Laufeyson placed was that Loki be one of the Detectives on the case.” As the captain spoke, he kept his gaze trained on a point across the room, unable to look directly at Thor. “I was never given a reason or explanation for this, just given my orders and told to do my job” As he spoke, Captain Rogers clenched and unclenched his fists, while a muscle in his jaw twitched. He was obviously upset, still not comfortable having his hands tied when it came to this case. “I was wary at first – I mean, who donates a – a life – a life of luxury! to help out the police department? But it wasn’t until I met the man, right after your first briefing, that I really suspected he’s kinda infatuated with Loki.” His brow furrowed as he spoke the last words, clearly uneasy speaking this revelation out loud.

As the captain spoke, Thor could feel anger slowly swelling within him. He couldn’t believe what his boss was saying. “You’re pimping Loki out” he said quietly, a low growl to his words.

“What? No! of course not!” Captain Rogers said indignantly “He’s an asset here! He’s a good cop with an exemplary record, a great tactician – “

“Then he’s payment” Thor continued, as if the captain hadn’t spoken. “You’re Dangling him in front of Laufeyson as recompense for him providing all our props.” As he spoke quietly and calmly, his hands grasped the armrests of his chair. His rage was so near the surface at this point that didn’t know if he could trust himself to not haul out and punch his boss. “I’m telling Loki.” Thor said firmly, standing up.

“Loki mustn’t know, under any circumstances!" The captain said quickly. “It could undermine the investigation. Loki might jump to wrong conclusions or make snap decisions, not knowing Laufeyson’s motives”

"Which are?" Thor said through clenched teeth.

"To get close to him.” Captain Rogers said with finality.

“What. The. fuck is going on here?” Thor said, a humorless laugh escaping him. “How am I supposed to keep this aspect of the investigation from my partner? How could you possibly expect… I – I don’t even know what to say” he said with a pained look on his face, staring plaintively at the captain, who had become resolutely quiet. Thor turned away, shaking his head and closing his eyes in disbelief.

After a while, Captain Rogers spoke up. "Loki’s an excellent investigator with all the necessary qualifications, and he's a grown man who can very well take care of himself. He can, and will, resist any, if any, of Mr. Laufeyson's advances."

"Sir," Thor said, still trying to control his disgust and anger "shouldn't we, at the very least, let Loki know? Let him decide if he wants to be part of this – this game?"  
Captain Rogers sighed and rubbed his hands over his face in exasperation "I told you Thor, it could undermine the investigation. Look,” he said, in an effort to placate his detective, “the man is very well known and respected in the community. I doubt he’d do anything – improper to Loki. He just wants to get to know him."

“Okay, who the fuck are we working for anyway?” Thor said, his anger finally breaking free. “Are we really letting this guy run the show? This asshole who threatened me? How can you just stand aside and let this happen?”

"I hate this as much as you do!" The Captain yelled, slamming his fist down on his desk. "Do you think this is fun for me? I've got everyone breathing down my neck! The mayor, the chief, even a few congressmen! This man has huge influence and he wants this investigation, and he wants Loki in it!"

“So our hands are tied, if we wanna catch this guy.” Thor said soberly, gazing intently at his boss, a mass of conflicting feelings muddled inside him. He didn’t think it was right to keep Loki in the dark, but he didn’t want personal feelings – anyone’s personal feelings – to get in the way of catching a murderer. When weighing the benefit of solving this case against everything else, he figured he would have to put up with Laufeyson’s entitlement issues.

“It’s our best chance” the captain said quietly. “Look, let’s just get through this. We can – ” He was suddenly distracted by an alert on his cell phone. He pulled it out of his pocket and frowned a bit as he read his screen. “Shit!” he hissed under his breath. “Well, I’m in trouble now,” he said with a small smile.

“Everything ok?” Thor asked uneasily, thinking it might have to do with the case.

“Yeah, its just… I missed a lunch date. Anniversary of our first date,” he said, grinning at Thor. “And I’m the one who insisted we celebrate it!” He said with a laugh “Man, I am never gonna hear the end of it,” he said sadly, shaking his head as he responded to the text, but there was a smile on his face and a glint in his eye as he spoke. Thor noted with surprise how quickly his boss’ mood had changed. He had been so agitated and serious a moment ago, but after the text he’d become practically… well… giddy!

Despite his annoyance, Thor couldn’t help but s,mile at his boss’ obvious happiness at the possibility of being in trouble. “Yeah… Women!” Thor commiserated. “Wife or girlfriend?” he asked.

“Oh, um – “ the captain began hesitantly, when his cell phone interrupted again, this time with the distinctive ring of a phone call. He checked the screen and looked up at Thor, raising his hand, indicating he wait. “Hi honey, can you hold on a second?” He turned back to Thor, covering the phone’s mouthpiece. “Are we good?”

Thor regarded him for a moment, then nodded once. As he turned to go the captain’s voice stopped him.

“Thor!” he said as Thor turned to look at him again. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you. All of this – this situation. It’s a lot. Just – watch him, ok?” He said, a worried look crossing his features.

“Yes sir.” Thor said, with a slight nod, before turning and walking out, more confused than anything. He walked back to his desk and started shutting down his day's work. He looked up and spotted Loki working at his desk, seeming focused on his task. Thor felt an intense urge to protect him, and to tell him the truth, but he knew the captain was right, the case should come first. He sat at his desk a moment, looking over at Loki from behind his monitor. He hadn’t laid eyes on his partner since the previous night, when he had talked Loki out of quitting. More like when you begged him not to leave you that annoying voice in his head piped up.

He felt rather guilty about the way he had reacted to Loki the day before. He did intend to make good on his promise to try and make this situation work, it was just that, despite his best intentions, he didn’t seem to have control over his emotions when he was around Loki. That’s something I definitely need to work on, he thought resolutely as he watched Loki turning his head from a document on his desk to his computer monitor, intently reading something. Just need to keep a level hair – head! I mean head… As Loki read, he distractedly pushed a strand of hair behind his ear, causing Thor’s thoughts to unexpectedly stutter and veer to the previous night. Loki’s simple action had instantly brought the memory flooding back, making him inexplicably wonder about the softness of Loki’s hair to regret that he hadn’t touched the brunet locks while they had kissed. I’ll have to remember to touch it next time… wait, what?! Thor jolted, sitting up in his chair. No, no no, that’s not helping, he thought rubbing his face. I need to push last night out of my head, and work on getting us through this case. Together. He thought as he gathered his things and walked over to Loki.

“Ready to go home?” Thor asked as pleasantly as possible, wanting to start off on the right foot. Despite Thor’s best efforts, though, Loki still jumped a bit at Thor’s sudden presence at his desk. “How about a pizza?” Thor asked, with a warm smile.

Loki regarded his partner warily, confused by Thor’s friendly attitude. “Um, sure.” He said, deciding to go with this new mood. “I just need to tie up a few things. Meet you at home? I’ll buy the beer, you get the pizza.”

“Y-yeah, sure,” Thor said, briefly preoccupied. Did we both just refer to the condo as home? Thor thought. At first he had thought it odd, but now, he realized it didn’t sound so bad. “Any preference on toppings?” he asked as he readied to leave, smiling at Loki.

“Surprise me” Loki said, with a playful tone, smiling back. As they gazed at each other amicably, Loki felt the last of whatever tension there was between them slip away. This just might work, he thought as Thor waved and walked away.

That evening, the two men ate their dinner leaning against the kitchen counter, sharing a pizza right out of the box as they drank beer, enjoying an easy and casual conversation. “I’ve gotta hand it to you, Thor” Loki said as he reached over to grab another slice “You sure know how to throw a dinner party” he said, saluting him with the piece of pizza.

“Yeah, sorry about the lack of place settings… and plates… and napkins…” Thor said with a grin. “I still don’t know where everything is around here. You should have made up a diagram for me” He said, gesturing at Loki with his beer bottle.

“Hey, I just hunted around!” Loki said with a laugh. “You should have done the same thing”

“You know what this reminds me of?” Thor said, pushing himself away from the counter as he walked to the fridge to get another beer “Playing football in college. After a game, my buddies and I, we’d be so pumped up on adrenaline and starving that we’d have pizza and beer over the sink at midnight. Usually, even after a ton of pies, we’d still be hungry and someone would eventually make a drive thru run to some taco shop or burger joint. Come to think of it, we’d also do that after a night of partying or maybe after a concert. Man, I can’t believe I used to eat like that!” He said, taking swig from the bottle in his hand.

As Loki listened, amused by Thor's excitement over his glory days as a jock, he realized just how different their experiences were growing up, and just how out of place he would have been in Thor’s world. They certainly would have never met, but Loki would most certainly have noticed Thor! Tall, built, blond and gorgeous, with piercing blue eyes, he’d probably always stood out, been the popular guy, the center of attention. In other words, Loki’s complete opposite. Loki, who had always been different and quiet, would have probably been shunned or looked down on by Thor back in high school or college. Yet here they were, two very different men working together, living together, getting along and (could it be?) possibly becoming friends! Loki smiled softly at the thought.

“What?” Thor asked. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, just – None of what you described is even remotely familiar to me. I’m just marveling at the fact that we could come from such different places and wind up in the same kitchen. Fighting over the last slice of pizza” Loki said, smiling widely as he quickly grabbed for the pizza box.

“Hey!” Thor said, laughing as he reached for the box as well, trying to pull it from Loki “I wanted that!” They were at their little tug-of-war when Loki’s cell phone buzzed, indicating a text message.

“All right, you win this one!” Loki said with a growl, but a smile on his face. He let go of the box and reached for his phone. As he read who it was, the smile on his face morphed to a look of surprise.

"What is it?" Thor asked with concern.

Loki hesitated. "It's Eric Laufeyson. He's inviting me over for a drink." Loki turned the phone around so Thor could read it.

_**It’s a lovely night out and the view from my terrace is exquisite. I would love for the two of us to enjoy an evening cocktail together. 8:00. don’t be late!** _

"A drink, really? Just you?” Thor asked incredulously “Boy, the balls on that guy!” he said, with a laugh, handing the phone back to Loki. He took the pizza box to the trash can, an excuse to turn his back so Loki couldn’t see the rage that he knew was apparent on his face. After his conversation with the captain, just the mention Laufeyson was setting him on edge. The fucking nerve of that guy! Summoning Loki to him like he was his goddamned property! There’s no way Loki’s gonna be – “Wait, what did you say?” Thor asked turning back to face Loki, just now realizing he was speaking to him.

"I said I shouldn’t be too late” Loki said distractedly, typing out a response to the text.

“Shouldn’t be too – You’re not actually considering going over there?!” Thor said sharply and perhaps louder than was necessary.

“Of course I’m going,” Loki said as he looked at Thor with a frown. He knew his partner didn’t like Eric, but the angry reaction still surprised him. “This’ll be a great opportunity to advance the investigation. I’d be crazy not to go” he said reasonably, as he walked to the bedroom.

"You are NOT going!" Thor said loudly, following him.

"And why not?" Loki said mildly, removing his tie. He should probably be angry at Thor for trying to order him around, but instead he was intrigued. What is his problem? He couldn’t possibly be jealous, could he? Loki thought, resolutely ignoring the flutter in his chest at the very thought. “Eric’s harmless. I can take care of myself, after all.” He said as he chose a lightweight burgundy cashmere sweater to pull over his dress shirt.

“He—He’s-- I just don’t. Trust. Him” Thor finally growled out through clenched teeth. Loki’s casual attitude towards the situation was just making Thor’s angry mood worse. “You know who he is, right?” he said as he watched Loki get ready.” Eric Laufeyson is the one who – he – he’s a powerful man who can buy and sell whatever he wants.” He finally finished. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves and calm his rapidly beating heart. He had almost let his anger get the better of him. I’d better get a grip, He berated himself, before I spill my guts here! “He’s the type of man who’s not used to being denied anything,” he continued more calmly “and he’s set his sights on you – he seems to have set his sights on you,” Thor amended “and last night he seemed to be eyeing you as some kind of prize to acquire.”

“So?” Loki countered, shrugging his shoulders as he stood in front of the mirror, combing his hair. “I can work with that. If he’s eager to make me like him, maybe he’ll be more forthcoming with information we might be able to use.”

Thor ran his fingers through his hair as he paced, walking the length of the room, then walking back, standing before Loki. He opened his mouth as if preparing to say something, only to abruptly close his mouth and resume his pacing, not saying anything at all.

Loki gathered his phone and wallet as he studied Thor while he spoke, considering what he was saying or rather what he was not saying. He wasn’t sure why, but he had a feeling Thor was keeping something from him. Unbidden, the image of Thor walking into Captain Rogers’ office earlier today came to mind.

“What were you doing in the Captain’s office today?” He suddenly asked surprising even himself.

“Huh?” Thor asked as he stopped his pacing, caught off guard.

“When I came back from I.T. I saw you walking into his office.” Loki said, narrowing his eyes as he peered at Thor. “You seemed to have been in there a long time. Anything regarding the case? Anything I need to know about?”

“It – it was – no – what makes you say that?” Thor said, as he tried to marshal his thoughts.

Hmm, so, not jealous then, but definitely something Loki thought as he noted that Thor went from angry to nervous in no time flat. "I don't know… just a feeling... Is it something about Laufeyson?" Loki said slowly, watching Thor for a reaction.

Okay, does this guy have magic powers or something? Thor thought. “What do you mean?" he said, slightly panicked.

"It's just your automatic dislike of him. I mean, I know he upset you but it feels beyond that. Did you find something while you were investigating his background?

Fuck, this guy is seriously scary! Thor thought. “How’d you know I ran his background?” He said, fascinated despite himself.

“He threatened you.” Loki said, shrugging one shoulder “Its what I would have done in your place.”

"I did run his background,” Thor said slowly, reeling from Loki’s words. “But there's nothing there, he checks out. He's not our man." He finished, a bit unsettled. He didn’t know why, but the thought of Loki and him separately coming to the same conclusion on how to proceed in that situation made him feel they were somehow connected.

"How can you be sure?” Loki said. “He's a complex, multi-layered man, business networks, political relationships, questionable – “

"Look, it’s not him, okay?” Thor said angrily, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"But how can you kn – “

Frustrated, Thor grabbed Loki by both forearms, bringing his face close to his, pinning him down with his intense glare. Loki fell silent, taken by surprise. Thor spoke sternly, almost in a whisper, as he held Loki. "It's not him, ok? So you don't need to go have drinks with him." Loki’s thoughts, so ordered just a moment before, were suddenly jumbled at being so physically close to his partner.

“Um… well, h-how,” Loki stammered, as he tried not to lose himself in those blue eyes. In an effort to steel himself, he tore his gaze away from them, but that turned out to be a mistake. His gaze flicked down to Thor’s lips, which were now pressed together in a rigid line, but which had been so soft and pliant last night…

He jerked his head back away from Thor’s, suddenly aware that he had been unconsciously inching closer. Holy crap! He thought as he took a step back, easily pulling out of Thor’s hold, breathing shallowly. “How do you know?” he finally said, trying for a normal tone as he became very interested in the texture of the wallet in his hand, not wanting Thor to see how their proximity had affected him.

Getting no immediate response, he ventured a look at Thor. His partner was blinking rapidly, as if coming into a well-lit room after being in the dark, also breathing rapidly. His arms still held slightly out. “Ah, there – there’s – I just do." He said, finally bringing his arms fully down, looking everywhere but at his partner.

Loki took a couple of steadying breaths, then walked quickly out of the room, turning back before walking out the front door. “I won’t be long” he said over his shoulder, and left.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, the beautiful artwork on this chapter belongs to GoLikeThat. check out his gallery on DeviantArt.com.

_I don’t think that could have gone any worse if I’d tried!_   Loki said to himself as he made his way to the penthouse.  His legs were a little wobbly as he walked into the elevator, and he tried to shake off the remains of a dazed feeling.  _Could I please be any more unprofessional?_   He chided himself.  _Thor’s trying to do his job!  His caution and suspicion are because he’s a good cop! And I – I practically…_ Loki stopped for a moment, leaning against a railing as he breathed deeply for a moment.  _What the hell is it about this guy?  I’m always extra careful about being professional, yet if Thor’s around, I’m reduced to a horny teenager, raging hormones and all!_   He cringed as he remembered the look on his partner’s face, which he guessed had to be shock.  He leaned back on the railing, staring up at the stars as he centered himself.  _I need to get my head on track, get this case resolved, and get back to my life, where things are simpler, things make sense – and there are no gorgeous straight partners tempting me!_   He turned his head and looked down the walkway, towards Eric’s front door _.  Just get to work!_   He told himself as he pushed away from the railing and walked towards Laufeyson’s apartment and rang the bell. 

 The door was opened by a stern looking man, his grey hair highlighted by the darkness of his suit. He seemed to have been expecting Loki, and simply said 'Sir,’ as he motioned for him to follow.  He was led into the main room of the house, which had a spectacular view of the park and the city skyline beyond it. The site literally took Loki's breath away.  Even after all this time, his past would rush in to remind him where he came from, and he couldn’t help but marvel and gawk, _I can’t believe people actually live like this!_ He thought, amazed.  He was so caught up with the view that he hadn’t noticed his host standing at the far end of the expansive window, observing him. As Loki met his gaze, he jumped slightly back.  “Mr. Laufeyson!” Loki said with a startled laugh “I didn’t see you there”

The older man smiled as he slowly approached, his gaze tracing the length of Loki's body.  He came to a stop right before Loki, so close that his breath ghosted over Loki’s face.  _What is it with these guys and personal space?_ He thought uneasily, as he met Laufeyson’s gaze head on, determined not to show weakness.

“Loki,” Eric said with a small smile “Welcome.  I’m so glad you’re here.” And with that, he embraced Loki, much to the detectives’ surprise.

“I, uh, I’m sorry if I kept you waiting,” Loki said with a disarming smile as he untangled himself and pulled away from the other man, casually (he hoped!) taking a small step back.  Despite the bravado and nonchalance he displayed in front of Thor, he was a little apprehensive about this guy.  I mean, he wasn’t _blind_ !  He could see that the way Eric looked at him was more than just an open admiration of his appearance.  As friendly and solicitous as the older man acted, Loki couldn’t help but notice that his smile rarely reached his eyes, and the gazes he directed at him when he thought Loki wasn’t looking were sometimes calculating, and often filled with desire and… just… _want!_   In order to get what he wanted, Loki would have to tread carefully and walk a fine line between doing his job and not compromising himself.

Unaffected by Loki’s unspoken request for distance, Eric placed a hand on Loki’s arm, not gripping exactly, but definitely intended to keep him in place.  "My dear boy," he purred, "I'm so pleased you could make it. I was certain that darling husband of yours would not allow it."

The familiarity of his words and actions unnerved Loki “He doesn't own me." He quipped lightly, determined not to show any discomfort.

Eric huffed out a quiet laugh as he moved his hand up from Loki’s arm to his hair “If you were mine,” He said contemplatively, picking up a strand and idly rubbing it between his fingers "I would not let you out of my sight."

 _Oookay!  This is getting out of hand…_ Loki thought, inwardly flinching at the nearness of the other man.  He even thought he could feel his pulse quicken in response to a perceived danger.  "I suppose I should be flattered, but that doesn't sound very progressive." Loki said lightly, intent on not showing any reaction to the older man’s words.  For some reason this seemed to annoy his host.  Loki actually felt Eric pull his hair as he released it.

"How is your bruise today? No new ones, I hope?” Eric said, moving towards a small table set up with a variety of drinks on it.  “Or, perhaps they are in places that are not so visible?" He said cocking an eyebrow at Loki as he poured two martinis from the decanter the butler had laid out, a slightly mocking smile on his face.

“Oh Eric, I told you that was just an accident!” Loki said, laughing lightly as he took the glass Eric offered, careful to keep his face down, his gaze averted.  _Keep it together!_   He warned himself.  His casual tone masked his reaction well, but he was pretty sure Eric would easily be able to see the anger on his face.  He had instantly become defensive on Thor’s behalf over the implied violent nature of his partner.

"Accidents can be an excuse for true intentions.” Eric said with a shrug “Maybe your husband likes to see you hurt." He murmured as he sipped his drink.

 _Okay, time to go_! Loki thought as he put down his drink. "You know, Mr. Laufeyson, maybe this was a bad idea. No disrespect, but, your comments are making me uncomfortable.”  As he turned to move away, he felt a hand snake under his hair and firmly grip the back of his neck.  Eric moved more quickly than Loki would have thought possible, turning him around swiftly, completely taking him by surprise.

Eric’s gray eyes met his as he drew closer to Loki, pressing his mouth against the detective’s cheek.  "Please forgive me,” he murmured when he pulled away “I would never want to drive you away, my beautiful boy,” he said as he lightly grazed his fingers along Loki’s temple, brushing his hair back, his other hand still holding the back of Loki’s neck.  “Especially when we have so much to learn about each other."

 _Oh shit, he is NOT trying to kiss me!_ Loki thought frantically as he tried to free himself from Eric’s surprisingly strong grip, dodging Laufeyson’s face when he leaned in, turning his face just in time so that the older man’s lips landed on his cheek again.

"That kiss you and Thor shared yesterday?” Eric said pulling back “It made me extremely jealous. Don't do that in front of me again.  I may not be able to control myself." He said, finally releasing him, allowing Loki to take a couple of steps back.

 _What the fuck?  He knows I’m married… well -- pretend married -- Doesn’t he care?  If it were real, Thor would rip him apart!_ Loki thought, remembering the comment Thor made in the kitchen earlier about ‘the balls on this guy’

“Good night, Mr. Laufeyson.”  Loki said briskly, walking towards the door.  _Dammit!_ he thought angrily as he made his way to the foyer, _This guy’s a freak – a borderline dangerous freak – , and the worst part of it is, Thor was right!_

"Loki, wait, please don't leave," Eric said, following Loki as he walked through the apartment to the front door.

"I'm sorry, I told Thor I wouldn't be long."  Loki said briskly, his hand on the doorknob as he turned to Eric.

"Ah, yes: the husband." Eric said with a distinct sneer in his tone that stopped Loki in his tracks. "Tell me, does Thor give you everything you need?"

Loki Gazed back perplexed, as he opened the front door"What?" he asked the other man.

"Your husband. Does he satisfy you?"

 _Again, the balls on this guy!_ Loki thought, thoroughly shocked at Eric's statement.   "That's really none of your business," Loki said tersely.

"Because _I_ would make you happy.  I would worship you." He said with a smile. 

Loki left the penthouse without another word.  _Okay, so maybe Thor was right, maybe I shouldn’t be alone with this guy,_ He thought as he walked back to the condo, feeling an involuntary shudder as he remembered their conversation. In this line of work, Loki had obviously dealt with all kinds of shady or questionable characters, but this evening had thrown him for a loop.  It certainly wasn’t what Loki had expected.  The harmless, indulgent, slightly infatuated older man of the previous evening had disappeared and been replaced by a creepy, controlling, oversexed guy!  Laufeyson’s sense of entitlement along with his not-so-slight infatuation with him made Loki very apprehensive, as he couldn’t shake the underlying feeling that this man could be dangerous.  He’s a powerful man who’s used to getting whatever he wants at whatever cost… maybe that could include murder?  _So, the night wasn’t a total loss,_ Loki thought wryly as he neared his front door.  _At least now I know that we should keep an eye on this guy and not cross him off our list just yet!_

Despite Loki’s uneasy feelings and the distinct… _creeps_ this guy gave him, he still felt it would be a mistake to completely avoid the man.  They should probably keep him close, but tread lightly.

. o O o .

 _H_ _ow long does it take to drink a fucking cocktail?_   Thor thought grumpily as he looked at his phone yet again, noting that Loki had only been gone for twenty five minutes.  He was sitting in front of his computer in the study, going over some emails occupy his mind with something _anything_ other than his situation.  He had so much going through his head though, that he knew it was doubtful he’d retain anything he read right now.  His thoughts wavered back and forth between _what could they be doing now?  Is Loki enjoying himself?  Is Loki in danger?_ He angrily slammed his laptop shut, giving up all pretense of work and put his head in his hands.  He was angry and frustrated at Loki, at Laufeyson, but especially at himself.  He knew he should have insisted on going with his partner tonight, invited or not!  Standard operating procedure!  But his brain had been so scrambled by Loki’s proximity… _Ugh! I need to get a grip!_   He told himself.  Earlier, he had grabbed Loki out of the frustration of not getting his point across (and, yes, maybe to intimidate him a bit!) but once he had pulled him close… his intense green eyes, his scent… suddenly he was surrounded, being enveloped by… just… _Loki_ , and he’d been gripped with the very strong urge to just… _kiss_ the man! He very nearly did, and he would have, if Loki hadn’t pulled away.  _God! He must think I’m some sex crazed maniac!_ Thor thought, dejectedly.  His first instinct had been to storm into Laufeyson’s penthouse and demand to know what the hell the older man wanted, Loki’s possible anger being the only thing stopping him.  He wanted to give his partner his space, but he was so tense, he felt he was going to crawl out of his skin!

 _Fuck it, I’m going!_ Thor thought, but as he grabbed his jacket, he heard the front door open.  He quickly glanced at his phone, noting the time.  He was surprised by Loki's quick return and instinctively knew something must have happened. He quickly entered the living room, abandoning all pretense at being casual and unaffected.  "So, what happened?" he asked.

"Nothing." Loki said, taking his time removing his coat and hanging it up. 

Thor noted with concern that his partner’s voice wavered a bit, and he was visibly shaken.  He resolved to make Loki talk, standing directly in front of Loki, trying his best not to appear confrontational.  "Loki, please, tell me what happened."

I said nothing happened!" Loki said, annoyed, as he tried to walk around Thor.

"You're lying." Thor countered, side-stepping to block his path.  Loki sighed in frustration and turned in the other direction, only to have Thor match his movements and block him again.

Frustrated, Loki finally stopped trying to walk away and crossed his arms and confronted Thor.  “Alright then. What happened in the Captain's office? If you tell me, I'll tell you." Loki said defiantly as he raised his eyebrows challengingly.

"Oh for godsake!  This isn’t a game, Loki!” Thor said throwing his hands up. “This is pertinent to the case!  The case _I’M_ working on with _YOU!_   You can’t just keep this information from me.”

“Really?” Loki countered incredulously “kind of like how you kept information pertaining to the case from me?”

The comment stopped Thor in his tracks and he seemed to deflate as his bravado ebbed.  “I’m sorry Loki, I can’t tell you.” He finally said, with a beseeching look.  Neither one said anything for a moment.

“Well, that’s that, then.” Loki said, dropping his eyes as he turned away.

“Look, lets just go to bed.” Thor said with finality. “We can put all this behind us.  Come on…" he said as he waved Loki towards him.

Without turning to look at Thor, Loki answered coldly:

"You know, we're not a real couple,” Loki said coldly, not turning to look at Thor. “It’s none of your business when I go to bed." He said before walking away, into the small study.

Even though it was his first instinct, Thor didn’t follow Loki.  Instead, he went to bed, alone, uneasy at the way things were going with Loki.  He still didn’t know how he was going to handle this… _attraction_ that he could no longer deny, but he still wanted to be friends with Loki.  Despite all the turmoil and confusion, Thor really liked him and hoped they could still salvage something.  He resolved to talk to Loki once he cooled down, but he never came to bed.


	10. Chapter 10

Over the next few days, Thor and Loki settled into a functional (if slightly uncomfortable) routine.  The two barely spoke to each other, and then only when absolutely necessary.  Loki did his best to avoid Thor both at the precinct and in the apartment, making it a point to leave and arrive at different times, usually getting in bed after Thor was already asleep, sleeping in the small study.  At first, Thor had made an effort to engage him in conversation not pertaining to work, trying to recapture that easy familiarity that they had been moving towards in the beginning.  Loki always sidestepped any attempt at friendship, keeping their relationship cordial and professional, letting Thor know without words that things would be better this way.  He was conducting himself in a professional manner, being a mature adult and a responsible detective.  It was driving Thor crazy!

In the evenings, Thor would settle in front of his laptop, reviewing surveillance images and poring over research files, in an effort to make headway on the case.  Loki meanwhile spent his evenings at one of the many social gatherings his numerous neighbors invited him to.  His easy nature and charming smile had made him a favorite among the other tenants and a coveted guest for any and all events.  At first the invitations were extended them as a couple, but after a few uncomfortable evenings, their hosts began to discreetly suggest that maybe Thor would be more comfortable staying home.  Not that Thor minded, really.  Those guys were all nice enough, if a bit too catty or gossip-y, but he always felt ill-at-ease around them.  He felt like he was always a step behind or missing a secret part of a joke or saying that everyone else was privy to.  As a result, he would get defensive and surly, feeling ridiculed.  And then there was the incessant flirting!  Everyone always seemed to gravitate towards Loki, throwing an arm around his shoulders, kisses on the cheek, glances in his direction… It was all Thor could do to keep his jealousy reined in! 

Thor missed spending time with his partner, discussing his findings with him, and pretty much felt the investigation was at a standstill. He also worried about Loki’s safety.  His thoughts often went back to that day – Loki’s date with Eric – and worried about what could have caused his partner such distress, and if he was being respected by this gregarious but often irreverent group of men.

. o O o .

 Weekly status meetings were always the more tedious aspect of the job for Thor.  Even though he knew they were necessary, he preferred to work alone and didn’t like having to answer to anyone else.  He was dreading this particular meeting because it would be his first with Loki since the night of the date with Laufeyson… the night Thor had to willfully withhold information from Loki.   It had been a week, and things were still strained between them.  _Okay, today, I’m making him talk to me_! Thor thought as he resolved to do whatever he could to mend the rift.  He walked into the situation room, glancing around, but Loki wasn’t there yet. He took a chair near the door, wanting to see his partner come in.  

His attention was quickly diverted by Stone and Carter, two new detectives in the precinct.  They had just put in a request to follow up on an investigation for a case that was already being worked by two other detectives.  The Captain had already denied them, but they were still arguing, trying to change the Captain’s mind.  At first Captain Rogers was polite, if maybe slightly amused, but now he was getting annoyed by the younger men’s insistence. 

“Look, I appreciate your enthusiasm,” the captain said, losing his patience “but that case is already being handled—“

“But this is a completely different angle!” Stone argued, interrupting his boss.

“I can’t justify reallocating resources to work the same case twice, and that’s final!” The captain said forcefully, leaving no room for further argument.

“Now, if there’s nothing else, I’d like to continue,” Captain Rogers said, while Thor tried to hide his smile.

The Captain was in the middle of a review of a recent homicide when Loki walked in, fifteen minutes late.  “Nice of you to join us, Loki” he said drily, cocking an eyebrow at the detective.

“Sorry sir, couldn’t be helped,” Loki said with a sheepish grin.  The captain merely glanced his way, then continued his review.  Thor noted that the two younger detectives looked annoyed at Loki’s seemingly preferential treatment.

After the briefing, Thor took his time getting his things together, wanting to catch Loki alone.  He kept darting glances his way, not wanting to miss his walking out before him, when he noticed Stone and Carter approach Loki.  Thor began to walk out, deciding to wait outside for his partner, when he heard Loki speak, making him turn and pay attention.  “I wasn’t aware that my assignments were any of your business.” Loki said pleasantly, although with his arms crossed over his chest in a decidedly defensive pose.

“Hey, I was just making an observation! Isn’t it funny how there’s never any talk about budgets or resource allocation when it comes to your cases, that’s all” Carter said, in an overly-casual way, which set Thor’s teeth on edge.

“Interesting,” Thor stated loudly in order to be heard from across the room, as he approached the men. “I didn’t know it was part of your job to make observations on other cases.” He said as he reached them.  The two younger detectives turned, startled, not having noticed Thor earlier.  Carter shuffled a bit guiltily, but held his ground nonetheless. 

“We all do the same type of work, just as important and dangerous, I just want to know why our case doesn’t warrant more funding, or attention,” Stone stated, looking directly at Thor “While they pulled all the stops for yours.  What the hell makes you and the pretty boy so special?”

The question made Thor tense as he spared a quick glance at Loki. Who gazed impassively back at Thor, eyes narrowed.  “And now you get to second-guess the captain’s decisions?  Wow, you guys _are_ important!” Thor said mockingly. 

“We’re just – “

“We know what you’re doing,” Loki said quietly, almost menacingly “you’re trying to get answers to questions you don’t have any right to ask.  Decisions are made by your superiors every day.  Decisions you don’t know anything about.  You’re not consulted.  Deal with it.” Loki’s tone of voice was calm, but there was a definite undercurrent of threat in it that Thor had never heard before.  I know you haven’t been here long, but I suggest you do your job well and mind your own business.”  He said as he hung his satchel over his shoulder as he gathered the rest of his things. “Let’ s go.” He said to Thor, walking out the door.  Thor followed, leaving the two young detectives rooted in their place, speechless.

“What a couple of assholes,” Thor said as they walked out together, down the hall towards the elevator.

“Yeah,” Loki said, laughing once, as they stepped into the elevator “Acting like a couple of kids who didn’t get their way.”

“Although I guess I did do my own fair share of mouthing off when I was their age” Thor said with a smile, happy and grateful that Loki was speaking to him.  _We might still be okay after all_ , he thought with some relief.  They chatted easily about the stupid things they did when they were young all the way to the parking garage, until the doors opened.

“Ah, Detective Thor.” Sargent Stillwell from records said, as he entered the elevator.  Those files you put a request on are still being held, but today’s the last day.  I suggest you claim them before they’re destroyed.” The man said mildly, before turning and nodding at Loki in greeting. 

“Damn,” Thor said with frustration.  As much as he wanted to continue mending this rift with Loki, he did want to review the files Stillwell spoke of.  “I need to review them,” he said to Loki “They’re summaries of a few of the tenants that have resided outside the US.  This stuff had to be requested of foreign governments.  Do you want to come with – “

“No, no you go ahead,” Loki interrupted “I’ve got some other things to do.  See you later” He said, quickly walking away, not waiting for an answer.

“O-okay, I’ll see you at – at the condo,” Thor said.  He walked back into the elevator, frowning.  _What happened?_ Thor thought, confused.  _I thought we were doing well…_   This barrier between them was becoming oppressive, and Thor thought he knew how to knock it down _.  I’m going to clear the air and if it means telling him about Laufeyson, then that’s what I’ll do._   He thought as he smiled at Stillwell, resolving to have a conversation with his partner once and for all.

The distinct sounds of many voices in conversation drifted towards Thor as he walked into the Sapphire Towers property later that evening.  “Jesus Christ! Don’t these guys ever take the night off?” Thor grumbled to himself as he made his way to the condo, passing the pool area.   The tower tenants were tight-knit and had pretty regular get-togethers by the pool.  He and Loki had a standing invitation to drop by whenever they wanted, but Thor hadn’t attended since that first night, and tonight he was definitely not interested.  He was eager to see Loki again, happy that his partner seemed to want to talk to him again.  When he got to the apartment, though, he was disappointed to find that Loki wasn’t there.  _He’s probably down at that party,_ Thor realized with annoyance.  He had geared himself up to have a conversation and now he’d have to wait.  He watched TV for all of five minutes before turning it off.  “Fuck it!” he said, getting up and walking resolutely out the door, determined to have his conversation.  Loki was going to talk to him, or the investigation would have to come to an end.

As he entered the grotto area, Thor noted the usual gathering of men around the pool, drinks in hand.  Slowly, conversations began to ebb as they watched him approach.  _Well, he’s obviously been going with the troubled marriage story,_ Thor thought wryly as he noted the men’s’ nervous glances towards him.  He scanned the crowd until he caught sight of Loki, standing off to the side, in an animated conversation with a couple of men he recognized from Michael’s cocktail party.  He was turned towards the two men on his left, while at his right side, Eric Laufeyson stood with his arm wound around his waist as he faced yet another person in the group.  _What.  The.  Fuck?!_   Thor thought to himself as he stopped in his tracks, beyond shocked at what he saw.  To the casual onlooker, the two men could be mistaken for a couple.  He took a couple of calming breaths to ride out the wave of rage (and jealousy!)  that coursed through him as he saw this other man holding his husband _(partner! He amended)_ so possessively.  _What’s going on here?  Why is Loki letting that asshole hold him –_ then a troubling thought occurred to him.  _Has something happened?  Has Laufeyson made his move and been accepted by Loki?!?_   Now his anger turned to an irrational panic.  He needed to get Loki out of this situation and back in their apartment. _(where I can protect him!)_ The Voice In His Head said.

The men suddenly became aware of Thor's presence as he approached.  "Loki" he said sternly, "can I please speak to you alone?" He looked meaningfully at the other men, especially Eric.   The others in the group seemed to shrink slightly at Thor’s look of anger and disgust, but Laufeyson merely turned towards him with interest, not dropping his arm from around Loki’s waist.

“I’m busy” Loki responded in a similar tone as Thor’s, not intimidated by the larger man.  He studied his partner’s face curiously, wondering what it was he could see there.  “What do you want?”

By now everyone stood around quietly, watching the events unfold.  Thor tensed at Loki’s tone and resisted the overwhelming urge to grab his partner, throw him over his shoulder and carry him out of there.  He was about to say more, when he caught a glimpse of a look in Loki’s face.  It was very quick, and gone in an instant, but for a moment Thor thought he had looked… embarrassed?  He looked directly at Loki for a moment, then turned on his heel and left without another word. 

By the time he reached the condo again, Thor was seething with rage.  He began pacing back and forth, angry as he remembered Loki’s behavior.  His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the Loki opening the front door.  For a moment, Thor considered not confronting him, but he had never been known for his reticence. 

“What the fuck was all that about?”  Thor said almost viciously as he blocked Loki’s further entrance into the apartment. 

His partner simply stared at him impassively, not saying a word, before walking around him towards the kitchen.  Thor followed closely, angry at being ignored.

“What are you trying to do?” Thor yelled at Loki’s back, as the other man headed towards the refrigerator and pulled out a beer “We’re doing a job, not working on your social life!  I’m trying to – Goddammit!  Will you look at me when I talk to you?!” Loki had been opening a cabinet, seemingly hunting for something to eat as he took a swig of beer, paying no attention to what his partner was saying.  Thor grabbed Loki by the arms and pulled him towards him, feeling an unexpected thrill at having Loki close, and forcing his partner’s attention.  He saw Loki’s eyes widen slightly in surprise for a moment, before returning to his casual state. “Why are you letting yourself be touched and handled like a – like a –“

"Why?  Does it bother you?" Loki interrupted, asking flippantly.

Thor stared directly into Loki's green eyes and brought their lips close. “Yes, it does.” He whispered.

As nonchalant as Loki tried to come off, he was sure that Thor could hear the loud beating of his heart. God, he had missed him! It had been a week since their shared kiss, but Loki had it burned in his memory and this, right now, brought it all back in a rush.  He found himself inevitably drawn to Thor, his voice, his smell, his beautiful face. Now, here he was, inches away from him, holding him.  "Why?" Loki murmured.

“Because… because they don't deserve you,” Thor said, feeling himself lean further into Loki, his grip loosening and his arms dropping to rest on Loki’s hips. “You're not some plaything for their enjoyment" he whispered the last words into Loki’s hair, as he gently brushed his cheek against his partner’s, not being able to resist the contact.

There was an intensity in Thor’s words that Loki could sense, and he felt himself melting into the other man’s arms, almost swaying as he felt Thor's hand travel up his back to caress his neck, his fingers entangled in Loki’s hair.  Thor skimmed his lips across his cheek, reveling in the shivers he could feel run through Loki’s body, and felt a heady surge of power, knowing he had caused them.

"You don't have to cater to that man, you know.”  Thor whispered into Loki’s ear, before dragging his lips down, towards Loki’s jaw and below to the man’s neck, brushing then occasionally forming soft kisses against his skin.

"The... uh… there’s the, um… investigation…” Loki spoke languidly and slowly, his eyes closed and his head thrown back and to the side, allowing Thor full access to his neck.  His mind felt hazy, almost as if in a dream, as he felt his traitorous body responding, seemingly of its own accord.  His own arms hung limply at his sides as he gave himself over to the lust that was coursing through his body. “He could still be a suspect…” he murmured.

"Nuh,” Thor murmured into his neck distractedly “ ‘s not… he’s the… the investigation… “he babbled, not really aware of what he was saying as his desire gradually took over, scrambling his brain. “Hs’ paying… for all of it…”

“Mmm? Huh?” Loki said, frowning as Thor’s words finally made their way into his brain. “What did you say?” he asked as he pushed away from Thor.

"Wh – what?” Thor said, standing up straight suddenly, realizing what he’d said.  _Holy shit!_ he thought, _did I— did I just…_ He stood before Loki, staring wide-eyed, having no idea what to say next.  When Loki continued staring expectantly, not saying anything, Thor decided to come clean.  “Yeah, ok,” Thor said turning away as he ran his fingers through his hair.  Laufeyson is sponsoring this investigation.” 

“Sponsoring, as in… “ Loki said slowly, narrowing his eyes.

“This is _his_ apartment.” Thor said, quickly, wanting to get this over with. ”Those are _his_ cars we're driving, these are _his_ clothes… _everything_ has been provided by him!”  The more Thor spoke, the more agitated he got, and the louder his voice became.  “He wanted an investigation, so he just opened up his checkbook and bought himself one!”

Loki stood stunned by the revelation.  He wanted to object, to say it wasn’t true, but he couldn’t.  Suddenly it all made sense.  Why such a well-funded investigation could be launched in the midst of budget cuts and spending restrictions.  "Why keep this from me?" Loki said stonily.

Even though he was expecting it, Thor still flinched at the question.  He looked at Loki anxiously “Because he requested you be part of the investigation. Because..." Thor hesitated," because he wants you."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork at the end of this chapter is by the wonderful GoLikeThat. Check out his gallery on DeviantArt.com. 
> 
> Okay, so this chapter might need some trigger warnings, for mentions of child abuse. Nothing actually happens, just memories, but, still... proceed with caution. This one has some heavy subject matter. You've been warned!

He could see in his partner’s eyes, how he was trying to process this revelation.  Loki turned away from Thor and leaned against the kitchen counter, suddenly feeling very tired, the lust of a moment ago all but forgotten.  "So… I'm just here because this man wants to… wants to fuck me?"  He said looking at Thor, his brow furrowed.  Thor was surprised by the crudeness of Loki’s words.  “I’m nothing more than some type of offering.  A compensation.” He stated slowly, almost as if working through a riddle. 

Thor could see the difficult play of emotions move across Loki’s face, and he could see the other man was devastated.  Maybe the captain was right, maybe Loki couldn’t handle knowing the truth. 

“And the department’s okay with this?” Loki asked.  His tone was mild, but he had wrapped his arms around himself, was shivering slightly, and the pain and sadness were apparent in his eyes.  Thor rushed towards him and softly wrapped his arms around Loki’s shoulders, wanting to make him warm again.  Loki didn’t seem to notice his partner’s affection, seeming lost in thought. 

“Hey, look at me!” Thor said sternly, taking Loki’s chin in his hand and forcing him to look at him.  “That is not the reason why you’re here, do you hear me?” He said, not breaking eye contact. “This is a very real investigation involving a very real crime.  You are an excellent detective, and the department knows how qualified you are.”  He drew back, grasping both of Loki’s hands in his. “Yes, this man’s interest in you spurred things along,” Thor said, his tone lowered as he spoke pleadingly “but no one expects or wants you to do anything to please the guy.” Loki said nothing, gaze unfocused as he remained lost in thought. 

"Don't let this asshole define you,” Thor said sternly, accentuating his words by gripping his hands tighter “He's a wealthy bastard who thinks he can buy anything and anyone, but you're above that.  He can't touch you."  He said with finality.

" _Am I_ above it?” Loki said, suddenly focusing on Thor.  “Laufeyson knew about me before this case.  He’s probably had me researched, right? He can certainly afford it.”

"Probably, but, so what?” Thor said with a shrug. “You're an officer of the law, that's the main fact.” He said, his voice trailing off as Loki pulled his hands away from his and turned towards the window.

“I wasn’t always a cop.” Loki said sadly.

“Oh, for god’s sake!“ Thor said scoffing.  “I wasn’t born a cop either!  We all have stuff in our past, but that’s no reason to be disrespected.”

A derisive laugh escaped Loki’s lips as he heard Thor’s words.  “Maybe he thinks he’s entitled.”  He said, shaking his head.  Thor noted with worry that Loki had slumped slightly and wore a very sad, almost grieving look on his face. 

“Loki… what? Thor said worriedly.  His partner turned to look at him with an air of exasperation. He had the look of a man tired of running.  "Maybe Eric thinks he can buy me because at one time I used to sell myself to anyone for money.”

Now it was Thor’s turn to be stunned.   _My partner? The mild-mannered, cultured, reserved tech geek was once a prostitute!_   Thor thought, reeling.  _What could the circumstances have been?  How desperate must he have been to..._ He swallowed hard as he formed a response.  "When was that, Loki?" he finally said hoarsely.

 “When I was fourteen.  I ran away from home to escape a dangerous, unbearable situation.” Loki was once again lost in thought, as his memories drifted to that time of his life.  “Eventually, what little money I’d managed to bring with me ran out.  I needed to do something to survive.  It’s not something I’m proud of.” He said, turning to face Thor, his eyes shining with threatening tears.

"I'm a worthless.  I’m trash.” Loki said, his voice wavering slightly. “That's what everyone thinks, that's what you've thought."

“Wait just a second!" Thor said pointing at him accusingly.  “Don’t put words in my mouth!  I may have questioned working with you when we first met, but that’s because you challenged my way of doing things!”  He leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms, considering his words. “I didn’t know you then.  Since getting to know you, I’ve found that you are the most enigmatic person I have ever met.” Thor said honestly, glancing up at Loki before focusing back on a point on the counter, embarrassed by his own words.  "You have a strength that radiates from you…  Your unique take on the world, and that crazy intelligence keep me on my toes.  Plus you’re funny as hell.” Thor said with a smile.  Finally raising his eyes and gazing at Loki head-on.  “Your past is your past.  I don’t think it cheapens you.  If anything, the fact that you survived that life and made something of yourself shows how strong you really are.  Please believe me when I tell you, you are needed here.  Period."

A stuttering breath escaped his lips as Loki tried to regain control of himself, while Thor’s words resonated inside him.  He blinked quickly several times, but a tear still managed to escape, trailing down his cheek, as he gazed at Thor gratefully. 

In what felt like the most natural thing in the world, Thor pushed away from the counter and closed the distance between him and Loki.  He leaned in and, without any regard to the consequences, captured Loki’s mouth in a kiss. Loki was caught completely by surprise, at first stiffening at the contact.  Thor leaned in, softly wrapping his arms around him and bringing him in close.  Thor pressed his mouth  against Loki’s, softly yet with some insistence, making Loki breathless, and suddenly he didn’t care.  He didn’t care what Thor’s reason for kissing him was, and he went after the affection and warmth that his partner was offering.  He sighed into Thor’s mouth as he wrapped his arms around the larger man’s neck and gave himself up to the sensations.

As they continued kissing, Thor pressed Loki against the wall, never letting go of his mouth. His brain was filled with a surge of emotions, but he tried not to focus, just allowed himself the indulgence of this beautiful creature, disregarding his sense of order. When they finally parted, Loki’s eyes fluttered open.

"Why?” He asked Thor wonderingly.

“You looked like you needed a kiss.” Thor said with a shrug, a crooked smile on his lips.

Loki laughed, wiping his fingers across his mouth, the tension dispelling as Thor joined in.  The two men’s laughter ebbed gradually, and Loki finally stood up straight, adjusting his clothing as he turned to Thor.  "Okay, so… Fine.” Loki said, downing his now tepid beer before putting the bottle in the recycle bin.  “If this is how we’re playing this game, then let's do it.” He said with a determined look in his eye.  “I’m here to do a job.  If Mr. Laufeyson wants to shower me with attention, so be it.   With any luck, it’ll help with the investigation” he said with a shrug as he walked towards the door.  “I’ll take any help we can get to catch this bastard.”

“What – what are you saying?” Thor said watching Loki anxiously.  “You’re not thinking about giving in to him?”

A mischievous smile formed on Loki’s lips as he paused at the doorway, considering the question.  “Not after that kiss,” He said, walking out of the kitchen, leaving Thor speechless, yet again.

The buzzing of his phone startled Thor out of his thoughts, as he checked his screen.  He focused as he saw it was a text from Dr. Reed, the forensics specialist working with them on the physical evidence for the case.  Thor had requested an analysis summary from him on some fibers they had found in common on both crime scenes.  This past week, he’d been studying the evidence on his own, and for some reason, this commonality had stood out to the detective as important.  Reed’s text said to check his email for the report, along with some notes he’d thought Thor would be interested in.  Thor texted a quick reply of thanks as he hurried out of the kitchen to and tell Loki the news.  As he approached the study where he knew Loki was, though, he hesitated, unsure if he should interrupt.  He’d delivered Loki a bombshell earlier and he realized his partner probably needed more time to process.  As much as Thor wanted to be in Loki’s company, reassuring him as well as working with him, he knew he should stay away.  He gave the study one last longing look before turning and heading to the bedroom, grabbing his laptop off the dining room table as he passed.  He sighed in frustration, resigning himself to waiting till morning before he could speak to his partner again.

A few hours later, Thor closed his eyes rubbed his fists into them tiredly.  He’d been reading and comparing data nonstop, and now the information swam before him, jumbling together.  _Shit, how long have I been doing this?_ Thor wondered, looking at the clock.  12:30.  He stretched his back, feeling the ache and pull after sitting in the same position for a long time.  Thor had gotten ready for bed and slipped under the covers, intending to just glance at the files before screwing around on the computer a bit, then going to sleep, but he’d become so  engrossed in Reed’s findings, and before he knew it, two hours had gone by.  He was glad he’d done it though, the information had given him a lot of insight.  He began to shut the research down, wondering idly if Loki was asleep yet.  He'd had a rough evening, and Thor debated whether or not to seek him out. _and maybe steal a kiss_ that annoying voice in his head piped in.  _No.  No kiss,_ Thor thought resolutely, as he remembered the kiss they’d shared. 

Not for the first time, Thor pondered what it meant about him that he _really_ seemed to like being around Loki.  Hanging out with him, working with him, kissing him… He had come to the uneasy conclusion that it stemmed from his admiration and respect for the man.  The kissing… well today had been a special situation.  After hearing the truth, Loki had been devastated.  He needed comforting, and Thor reached out in a way he knew Loki would appreciate ( _yeah, right!  And you didn’t enjoy it at all?  Any opportunity to get your arms around him, your lips on his…_ ) Thor shut his eyes tightly, willing his thoughts to not veer in that direction.  He had honestly done it to make Loki feel better, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t enjoyed it!  Ugh!  Thor thought in frustration.  I just need to go to sleep.  He was in the middle of shutting down his laptop when the door opened and Loki walked in, dressed for bed.  There was no comment or discussion, and no mention was made of Loki’s sleeping arrangements for the past week.  Loki simply walked in and sat on his side of the bed.

“Good night, Thor” Loki said simply, before getting under the covers.  He rolled over and closed his eyes, but not before seeing the smile bloom on Thor’s face as he looked down at his laptop.

“Good night, Loki” Thor answered as he shut his laptop and placed it on the floor, before getting fully under the covers and turning off his lamp, plunging the room into darkness.

As they both lay there, lost in their own thoughts, Thor reflected on his situation.  He knew he had allowed himself to cross an emotional and physical line with Loki.  Developing strong feelings for someone was something he thought would eventually happen when he got serious about a relationship.  Eventually.  Not now, and certainly not for another man!  Yet the connection was undeniable.  Even now, while the two were nowhere near each other in the large bed, the tension was palpable.  He’d always had a rough idea of where he was going, what to expect from his life, but here he was, having feelings that alternated between frustration, anger, confusion and affection. _What the hell is it about Loki that does this to me?_ He thought, frustrated.  _The more I know about him the more I feel the need to protect him, to guard him…_ his thoughts trailed off as he recalled the things Loki had said to him in their conversation earlier.  The pain in his eyes as he spoke.  _This could simply be a case of watching out for my partner,_ Thor thought suddenly.  _He’s obviously been through a lot, it’s pretty obvious he’s suffered… He needs emotional support._ Thor thought with finality, his anxiety momentarily relieved. 

 _…Or is it because he’s so fucking beautiful?_   The thought snuck in, unexpectedly.

Loki lay on his back, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, trying to make sense of his thoughts.  Learning of Eric’s involvement with the investigation had completely thrown him for a loop.  _Well at least now I know why Eric thinks he has some claim over me,_ Loki thought ruefully.  He had originally dismissed Laufeyson’s possessiveness as a symptom of his wealth.  Now, he knew better _.  Shit, he probably thinks he’s already paid a fucking down payment for me by bankrolling this investigation!_   Loki thought, grimacing.  He’d have to handle Mr. Laufeyson very carefully, and be on his guard around him, he realized.  This didn’t really bother him, though.  Beyond all of this was the more compelling situation with Thor _.  What is going on here?_   Loki grinned as he recalled their kiss in the kitchen, which had been initiated by Thor.  _He said he’d done it to comfort me, but… well… you don’t kiss your friends like that!_ He thought, smiling more widely.  _Is Thor somehow maybe even slightly attracted to me?_   Loki thought in wonder, or is he simply daring himself? Testing himself to see how far he’ll go? …and do I even care?!?  At that moment, Loki decided that he would allow himself the luxury of living this life as completely as possible.  After all, it was on Eric’s tab.  _And if Thor wants to experiment, I can help him with that._   Loki thought happily.  It would be fine, as long as he remembered this was all an illusion.

Both men knew the other was awake, and Thor decided to speak first, in an effort to relieve the obvious tension between them.  "Loki?"  he ventured, speaking out.

"Yes?" Loki answered, startled by the sudden voice in the dark.

"What forced you to run away?" Thor asked, turning towards Loki, and lying on his side.  His comment was met with silence.  _Aw shit,_ he thought, panicking a little.  _I just made things worse._   "Hey, I'm sorry,” He said quickly “it's none of my fucking business! Forget I asked.  Good night."

"It's okay, Thor,” Loki said a bit exasperated, and Thor could practically hear him rolling his eyes. “I can handle the question” He said, yet still hesitated before tentatively speaking. "I was being sexually abused by my stepfather, and I couldn't take it any longer. So I ran away."

The response was spoken very matter-of-factly, and Thor expected something along those lines, yet he still didn’t know how to respond to it.  “How long had it gone on?” He finally asked quietly.

"Since I was twelve. He was an awful man my mother had met in one of her drunken binges.” Loki responded, shrugging as he continued to stare at the ceiling in the dark. “When he discovered she had two kids he could abuse, he decided to stay."

"Did your mother know?"  Thor asked, his voice unintentionally rough.  He was busy trying to control the rage that was simmering inside him.

"My sister and I tried telling her,” Loki said, huffing out a humorless laugh.  “but she was too far gone in her addiction to do anything, so, the abuse continued. My sister, who is three years older than me, fought back. She ran away with her boyfriend, promising to come back for me, but she never did."  His last words were said in a whisper as his voice cracked at the end.

"I’m so sorry, Loki." Thor said, reaching out across the large bed to lay his hand tentatively on Loki’s arm.  He wasn’t sure if it was to comfort his partner or to ground himself.  He was feeling overwhelmed by the onslaught of feelings he was experiencing, the predominant one being anger at two people he didn’t even know!  “How – how did you end up being a cop?” He asked, pulling his hand away and raising himself on one elbow, trying for a lighter mood.

"After I was picked up from the streets, I was put in foster care.” Loki said, the smile clear in his voice as he recalled the memory.  “After some truly shitty situations,” he said, glancing quickly at Thor “I got lucky.  I got placed in a great home with a wonderful couple, Will and Deanna.  They’re really good people who actually cared about me and my well-being.  I didn’t make it easy on them, though” Loki said with a huff as he recalled the story.  “I fought them tooth and nail when they reached out to me and tried to get close.  It took a while before I fully trusted them, but they’re pretty patient people – or gluttons for punishment!” he said with a laugh.  “Anyway, they brought me back to normalcy, showed me love, _and_ they got me back in school.”

"Was becoming a cop automatic to you?" Thor said, smiling as he hear Loki’s voice brighten.

"Yeah, I guess it was” Loki said slowly, considering the question.  “I wanted to help people who were suffering.”  The room grew quiet again, and Loki marveled at how easy it was to talk to Thor.  He had become so adept at building walls around himself, rarely letting anyone else in other than his foster parents.  It had felt good, comfortable even, to reveal his past to Thor, yet now he worried that he’d revealed too much.  Would Thor worry about his state of mind or his stability?  _Maybe he’ll think I’m completely nuts!_   Loki thought a bit hysterically, suddenly fighting a strong urge to laugh as he felt Thor moving around at the other side of the bed.  Y _eah, no maybe about it!_ Loki thought, huffing out a laugh when suddenly he felt Thor’s warm body stretched out right next to him.  A muscular arm wrapped around his body tenderly, softly pulling him closer.  Loki lay still, completely surprised.

"I am so sorry that you had such a terrible childhood,” Thor whispered in his ear as he nuzzled into Loki’s temple and hair. “I’m here for you.  I won’t let anything happen to you.  I promise.”

Loki struggled to find the words to respond, but they were unnecessary as he heard a light snoring from Thor, his arm still tightly wrapped around Loki's chest. Loki smiled and decided to allow himself this illusion too, and drifted into a deep sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

After that evening, there was a shift in Loki and Thor’s relationship.  Their interactions were much more comfortable. Easier.  They collaborated on every aspect of the case together, seeking each other out at the precinct to bounce ideas or theories off the other.  In the evenings, they would spend their time after dinner going over research and surveillance data.  The two men shared a bed every night now, though they were never as physically close as they were that first night.  They would lie on either side of the large bed, in the dark, talking about any number of subjects, enjoying each other’s company.  Thor told Loki all about his childhood in Pasadena, his mom, dad, brother and sister, all the sports he played both in high school and UCLA, painting a very idyllic picture of his life.  Loki would listen in amused fascination, amazed that there were people that actually lived like this.  Conversely, he told Thor about his difficult childhood, the abuse he and his sister went through, his time in foster care, basically, everything he’d never told anyone else about.  Many of the things he said shocked Thor, but he kept quiet, not wanting to dissuade Loki from talking.  They covered many topics, including Loki’s time as a prostitute, and Loki marveled at how easy it was to talk to his partner about things that he never told anyone else about.   

For his part, Thor had never been happier.  This newfound closeness had the added benefit of helping the investigation.  Up until now, He hadn’t felt they had made much headway, and he was glad they’d stepped up their game.  (And, if this caused him to spend more and more time with Loki, well, he didn’t examine this fact too much.)

. o O o .

One evening, Thor and Loki came home to a note attached to their front door.  The two exchanged a glance as Thor took the card and Loki opened the door.  They hadn’t received invitations to any social events since they had caused a scene at the pool get-together over a week ago.

“Join us to toast Randy and Kevin as they prepare to embark on their Caribbean cruise” Thor read aloud as they walked in. “Drinks and nibbles, 6-ish tonight, Corey’s place.  Which one’s Corey?” Thor said seriously, with his brow furrowed, but Loki could see him trying to hide a smirk. 

“Stop it,” Loki said, rolling his eyes.

“Is this all these guys do?” Thor said, chuckling as he shook his head, dropping the card on the entry table.

“What? Drinking and talking?  They’re just very social.  We wouldn’t have to be there very long” Loki said, picking up the card and walking over the sit at the sofa.  “And you remember Corey, he’s the one who kept trying to draw you into a discussion on wall texturing ideas...”

“Oh God!” Thor gasped as he sat across from Loki, remembering “Please tell me I don’t have to talk design with this guy!”  He leaned his head back on couch and rubbed his eyes “My idea of hell”

"Don’t be so dramatic!” Loki said in mock exasperation, smiling as he leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees as he regarded his partner. “This would be a good opportunity to gather intel.” He said, gazing up at Thor sprawled out on the couch across from him. When the case had begun, Thor had whined and complained about his wardrobe, saying he didn’t need to have so many choices and colors in his closet.  As time went on, though, he seemed to have accepted, even gained an appreciation for the clothes, sometimes putting together his own outfits instead of grudgingly asking for help.  Loki smiled as he noted Thor was wearing slim cut dark tan trousers instead of the jeans he used to wear on a daily basis, paired with a deep indigo blue denim shirt, still neatly tucked into his trousers.   _He even accessorized with the right belt and shoes!_ Loki thought, amused, noting the deep brown leather belt and lace-up shoes.   _We may have a clothes horse in the making!_  Loki thought, gazing openly at Thor’s body, taking advantage of Thor’s covered eyes. The pants fit him beautifully, accentuating without being tight, showing off his legs.  The cuffs of his shirt had been artfully folded up, showing the golden skin of his forearms.  Loki let his eyes wander over the muscular build, remembering the feel of those hard muscles under his touch, the warmth of his body when he leaned in close, his breath ghosting over his ear… “Besides, we need to make some headway on the case.” Loki said, clearing his throat as he stood abruptly.

“What, we’re going  _now_ ?” Thor said sitting up, confused by Loki’s actions. “I know I’m new to this ‘gay universe’, but isn’t arriving fashionably late one of the cardinal rules?” He said, grinning.  “I’d hate for our cover to be blown over a technicality… Hey, what’s the matter?” He said, concerned as he watched Loki acting fidgety, first grabbing then dropping his satchel, then start walking towards the kitchen only to turn mid-stride and head towards the bedroom.  He seemed… nervous all of a sudden and Thor had no idea why.

“Nothing! We should just get this over with soon as possible…“ Loki stammered, darting his gaze around the room like a cat following a shiny object.  “Gonna go change.  Not you though.  You don’t need to.  Change, I mean.  Your outfit… be right out!” He said, quickly walking out of the room, leaving his partner gaping at him, at a total loss for words.

Taking deep breaths, Loki paced slowly back and forth, willing himself to calm down.   _Holy shit! Did that really just happen?_ He asked himself frantically.  Sitting across from Thor just now, he had become hard just from the  _memory_ of their close physical contact!  He couldn’t believe how far gone he was.   _Oh my God!_ He thought as he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.   _Did he notice?  Could he tell?_   He sat on the bed and threw himself back, covering his face in embarrassment as he remembered how he had behaved, jumpy and nervous, not being able to get out a sentence.   _I’ve GOT to get a hold of myself,_ he thought, sitting up.  He seemed to be on a heightened state of alert lately, where Thor was concerned, his body attuned to Thor’s proximity.  This gray area that their relationship had somehow drifted into was not helping matters either.  They hadn’t… cuddled again since that night that he returned to their (their!) bed, but they were both more affectionate with each other lately, rubbing or patting each other’s back, a casual arm over the other’s shoulders… Not for the first time, Loki berated himself on his decision to sleep in the same bed as Thor.   _Talk about the very definition of un-professional!_   He scoffed, as he got up and headed to the closet.  He should have drawn the line there and then.  They could have still had a good working relationship, developed a camaraderie…  _but he’s so damned gorgeous!_ Loki thought, closing his eyes and thudding his head against the closet wall in frustration.  How could I not gravitate towards him!  He soberly remembered what he had told himself a week ago.  ‘If Thor wants to explore… something with a guy, I’m willing help him out.’  Problem was, the more he got to know him, the less the idea of ‘just a quick fuck’ appealed to him.   _Feelings, Loki?  Really?_   He berated himself.  It drove him crazy that he didn’t know what Thor was thinking!  He was pulled out of his thoughts by the bedroom door opening slowly.  Thor stood hesitantly in the doorway, brow furrowed as he looked Loki up and down.

“Are you feeling alright?” Thor asked quietly, venturing in and standing in front of Loki, peering intently at his face.

“Yes, of course.  Just – I can’t decide what to wear!” he said with a slightly panicked-sounding laugh, gesturing at the closet, and avoiding Thor’s gaze.  “I mean, what does someone wear to a going-away cocktail party?” He babbled, as he idly flicked through the items on the hangers.

“Loki, look at me.” Thor said, placing his hand on his partner’s face, trying to turn it in his direction. “You just seemed… off a minute ago.  I thought maybe…” He stopped talking as he looked into Loki’s eyes and became riveted, as Loki stared back intently.

The minute Thor’s hand had made contact with Loki’s skin, what felt like an electric shock shot through him, and he locked eyes with Thor, unwittingly conveying all the lust, fear, desire and panic that he seemed to be carrying around lately.  Loki involuntarily leaned into the touch as Thor lightly moved his fingers, turning his touch into a caress, intensifying Loki’s desire.  Thor ran his tongue over his lower lip as he began to lean in, at the same time, pulling Loki’s face closer.

“Thought maybe what, Thor?” Loki said, maybe a bit too loudly as he quickly drew away from Thor, taking a step back. 

“Oh, uh… I t-thought…” Thor said distractedly, struggling to remember what he’d been saying.  “I thought maybe,” he said as if waking up “maybe you were having second thoughts about going to this tedious cocktail party” he finished with a satisfied nod, happy that he had gotten his emotions in check. 

“No, no such luck.” Loki said with a grimace, “We should go.  Remember what we’d said about our lack of headway?  This might help.” He was relieved to be talking about work, safer territory considering what he had  _almost_ done just a moment ago! 

“I’ll just wear this,” He said, looking down at his outfit resignedly.  He had worn black fitted denim pants today, with a white button-down shirt and black tie, and a form-fitting green v neck sweater worn on top.  He knew it was adequate, but he also knew how catty these men could be.

“You look great.” Thor said, letting his eyes travel all over Loki.  “But then, you always look great.” He smiled widely then, a genuine smile that reached his eyes and made them crinkle, looking slightly abashed, standing with his hands in his pockets. 

_Goddammit, do you have to look so adorable?!?_   Loki screamed in his head.   _You’re killing me here!_   “Come on, let’s get going” Loki grumbled slightly, as he walked out the room, patting Thor’s arm on the way out for him to follow.

. o O o .

The two detectives walked across the property to Corey’s apartment.  Loki was giving Thor a summarized run-down of the different tenants, and who they should be watching more intently.  Thor merely nodded, not really listening, lost in his own thoughts.  He knew the case should be his top priority, but at the moment, he was more concerned with the fact that he had almost kissed Loki.  Again.   _Why am I so ready to make out with this guy at the slightest provocation?_ He thought, because really, there had been no provocation!  It had just been him, looking into Loki’s eyes.  One minute he was looking for signs of distress, the next he was getting ready to pounce!  If Loki hadn’t stepped back…  _Do I actually want something to happen?_ He thought, glancing at his partner out of the corner of his eye.  Loki was speaking animatedly, though he kept his voice down, mindful of being overheard.  The research they’d done over the week had turned up some interesting items from a few of the tenants, and Loki wanted to put faces to facts.  He gestured with his hands as he spoke, eyes gleaming with a different kind of excitement than the one Thor thought he saw earlier.  Thor lost his thread of thought for a moment as he watched Loki.  He loved watching his partner when he was speaking about something he was excited about.  What would it be like? Thor thought suddenly.  Being intimate with a man?  Being with Loki?  He had already touched Loki several times, having stolen grazes and touches, taking advantage of their closeness, but this would be so much more, he imagined.  So different from being with Jane, he thought, remembering his girlfriend.  She was pretty and sweet, but somewhat predictable, in her words and actions.  Loki was completely unpredictable and he constantly exasperated Thor with his behavior.  He was frequently outrageous, often making Thor question things about himself.   And then there was that face!  The face that Thor likened to that of an angel’s, seemed to be even more mesmerizing now.  He had a rough idea of what two men did together, but had never even considered it as something he’d wanted to explore.  Now, though, watching Loki’s hands, his face, his legs…

_BANG!_

“Thor! Are you okay?” Loki asked, concerned, but with a smile playing on his lips.  Thor had walked right into one of the pillars lining the walkway towards Corey’s apartment, banging his head in the process. 

“Um, yeah… Shit!  That hurt!” Thor said, rubbing his forehead.  “Fucking pillars!  I mean, are they really necessary?” He said scowling, as he regarded Loki, who was doubled over, hands on his knees, laughing heartily.

“Here, let me see,” Loki said, finally getting a hold of himself, his laughter ebbing.  He stood up straight and wiped his eyes, taking a step towards Thor.  He placed a hand on his partner’s shoulder as he ran his other hand softly over his forehead.  “Well, shit.” Loki grumbled. “It’s not so bad… Its not even gonna leave a mark!” He said, frowning in mock exasperation, then bringing his hand down and squeezing Thor’s hand as he smiled at him.  “I still hold the record for the best face injury in this family”

Even if he’d wanted to react, Thor was pretty sure he wouldn’t have been able to move anyway.  He stared wide-eyed at Loki, using all his willpower to not grab his partner.  “Come on, let’s face the music!” Loki said, still laughing slightly, pulling him by the hand.

_Yep, definitely outrageous!_ Thor thought, as he let himself be led towards the door of Corey’s apartment.   _And waaay too tempting!_ He decided as he resolved to glean information for the case, but more importantly, to keep them all away from Loki.

“Gentlemen! So lovely to see you!” Their host exclaimed in greeting.  He leaned in and air-kissed each man on both cheeks.  Loki accepted the greeting easily enough, Thor not so much, still uncomfortable with these men’s affectionate nature.  He stiffened, but Corey had the grace not to mention it.  “Come, come and have a drink!” He said, leading the two towards the bar, where his partner Trevor was playing bartender.  “Trevor has made an absolutely sinful punch that I’m sure you’ll love.”

“Hey guys!  Great to see you!” Trevor said, handing them each a glass.  “So, I see you’ve made up?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, pointedly looking down at the two men’s hands, still clasped together. 

“Tre- _vor!_ ” Corey chided, swatting his partner’s arm. “That’s none of our business!  Forgive him,” He said, turning to Loki and Thor, stage-whispering to them “he isn’t known for his tact.”

“Not a problem,” Loki said smiling as he took sip of his drink. “We’re fine!” He said, squeezing Thor’s hand, grateful that his partner hadn’t pulled it away yet.  “Oh, we have our little drama just like everyone else, but its no big deal.”

“Well, thank GOD for that!” Trevor said, busying himself serving other drinks.  “Because that look you shot him at the pool the other day before you  _dragged_ him off?” He said directing his gaze at Thor “I tell you, we feared for this beautiful man’s  _life_ !” he said in mock-anguish.

“You need to study up on reading signals Trev,” one of the other men standing at the bar said with a smirk. “That may have been an intense look, but I know passion when I see it!” He said with a laugh.  “I don’t think Loki was in any danger”

“Unless that’s what you’re into,” another party-goer said. “We’re not judging!” he said laughing as everyone around them joined in.

_Uh-oh,_ Loki thought as he smiled indulgently at the men around him.   _This may set him off,_ He thought, thinking about his partner, so he was utterly surprised when he heard Thor’s hearty laugh mixed in with the others.  Loki turned to look at Thor questioningly, only to be met with a full smile and twinkling eyes.

“Well thanks for not judging!” Thor said, still laughing, as he disentangled their hands and slung his arm around Loki’s waist, pulling him in close.

Loki sucked in a sharp breath, wondering what was going on, then noticed Eric watching them from across the room.  No doubt Thor had noticed him too, and this was his way of protecting him.  He instinctively wrapped his arm around Thor’s waist as well, relaxing into the larger man’s warmth, feeling protected and secure.  For his part, Thor didn’t seem to outwardly acknowledge the move, but he gave Loki a reassuring squeeze that no one else noticed.

“These are great, by the way, how about another?” Thor said to Trevor as he indicated with his glass, placing it on the bar.  “Only this time, put it in a real glass, don’t be so stingy!” The other men laughed along with Thor, pleasantly surprised at his easy manner.  Loki was silent, still not used to the sight of Thor laughing along with everyone else.

“Don’t be fooled, darling,” Corey warned, as Thor gladly accepted his second, much larger glass. “You may not feel it immediately, but it will pack a wallop, I promise.”

“He’s right, Thor” Loki said, watching his partner easily down his second drink.  “It’s pretty strong.  Maybe you should sip…” The words died on his lips as Thor turned his head and nuzzled Loki’s temple and ear, inhaling and humming contentedly before lightly nipping his ear.

"Don’t worry, baby.  I can handle it.” Thor said smiling, before placing his glass down on the bar again, “Another!” he declared, earning cheers from the other men.

As he watched Thor with a mix of confusion and utter fascination, Loki considered it was a good thing he had his partner’s arm supporting him, because after Thor’s actions, he had literally gone weak at the knees!   _Sonofabitch!_ Loki thought,  _I’d always thought it was just a figure of speech!_   Yet here he was, his stomach doing all kinds of flutters, his legs turned to jelly, his heart hammering in his chest…  _Too much!_ His brain alerted.   _Maybe I should put some distance between us,_ he thought as he watched Thor down yet another potent cocktail.  “I’ll be right back, Honey,” he murmured close to Thor’s ear as he pulled away and turned halfway around.  Thor quickly reached out and gripped his arm, then quickly put his drink down and turned towards him, gripping his other side, effectively trapping Loki with both hands.

“Wait – where are you going?” Thor asked, a slight frown on his face.  Loki regarded his eyes, shinier than usual, and the rosy blush on his cheeks from a bit too much alcohol, his lower lip pouting out slightly…   _Yep, need some space!_ Loki thought as he pushed away.   _NOW!_

“I’ve just got to talk to Randy,” he said quickly, putting both his hands over Thor’s to reluctantly move them off his hips ( _when had they moved to his hips!?!_ )  “H-he, uh, he wanted the name of a – a good contractor for his, um, his Palm Springs house” he said, pulling away.  “I’ll be right back!” and with that he turned and walked towards Randy, who stood by the patio doors, deep in conversation with a very tanned (Loki thought orange) man.

For the next hour, he settled into a conversation with Randy and his orange friend Dave on the merits of living in the desert.  He was able to calm his heartbeat somewhat, but his mind kept going back to the feel of Thor against him.  He’d lost sight of Eric at some point, and was idly wondering why he hadn’t sought him out tonight.   _Maybe he’s lost interest?_ Loki thought hopefully.   _The man can certainly buy the affections of a lot of guys… actual willing guys…_ as if summoned, though, Loki suddenly caught sight of Eric across the room, wending his way through the crowd, heading in his direction.  He was about to make his apologies to Randy and Dave and walk away, when he suddenly felt an arm around his waist and a familiar warmth as he was pulled towards Thor’s large form.

“Hey,” Thor said, placing a lingering kiss on Loki’s cheek, “I was wondering where you’d run off to.”

“I’ve just been… you know… talking shop” Loki said with a sigh as he smiled at Thor, relief washing over him.  “How’re you?” he said, peering into Thor’s decidedly glassier eyes.  How many drinks have you had?” he said with a smile. 

“Bah! I’m fine!” Thor said, waving his free arm dismissively, staggering slightly with the movement. “The drink’s not all that strong,” he said, grinning stupidly at Loki.  “Have your eyes always been that green?” He asked, leaning into Loki, as if for a kiss, but landing on Loki’s ear as the other man turned his head just in time. 

“Yes, Thor, they’ve always been this green!” he said in an exasperated tone, trying to keep Thor upright as his hands wandered all over Loki.  “So how often do you use your house out there?” Loki said to Randy in what he hoped was a normal tone, as he continued to dodge Thor’s searching lips.

“We stay there about three months in the winter,” Randy said with a smile, clearly enjoying the show.  “You two should come down for a weekend some time, its beautiful in February.” 

“Y-yeah, uh, that sounds… great,” Loki said distractedly.  In his constant movement, Thor had positioned himself behind Loki, his arms clasped around the brunet’s waist, his face buried in the side of his neck.

“God, you smell amazing!” Thor said, raising his head suddenly.  “How is it that you always smell so amazing?” he said, leaning in again to press his nose to Loki’s temple. 

“Okay, time to go,” Loki muttered, trying to suppress a shudder from Thor’s breath on his neck.  “I’m sorry guys, but I think we’re gonna get going.” Loki told the others as he turned in Thor’s arms and put his arm around him, attempting to walk towards the door.

“Ah, I think the lovebirds are taking things to a more private setting” Corey said in a sing-song voice, drawing attention to the men’s departure.  Some of the other men began cat-calling and whistling

“More like my husband’s fallen victim to Trevor’s concoction,” Loki deadpanned as he moved them towards the door, struggling as Thor made his best imitation of an octopus, his hands wandering everywhere. 

“Right, I’m sure you’re eager to get  _right to bed._   To sleep.” Randy said, laughing as others joined in.  Loki rolled his eyes, but smiled from the doorway.

“Good night all!” Thor said, smiling widely as he waved, leaning on Loki as he slung his arm over the brunet’s shoulders, causing his partner to stumble a bit.

“Sir, may I be of assistance?  Help you with your load?” Carl, the superintendent said, smiling solicitously as he watched Loki struggle to keep Thor upright.

“Oh! Uh, well…” Loki said haltingly, considering the offer.  Carl certainly wasn’t his favorite person, but it might be nice to get some help… suddenly, he flinched as he felt Carl’s hand caress his arm.

“Hey!” Thor said, suddenly bolting upright, coming face to face with Carl, surprisingly steady for a man who’d had as much to drink as he had “Stay. Away. From. My. Husband!” Thor accentuated every word by poking his finger at Car’s chest, making the large man take a step back.  “Don’t you DARE ever touch him again.”

The room suddenly became quiet, as everyone turned to stare at the scene unfolding before them.  “Okay, Thor, let’s go home,” Loki said, laughing lightly, pulling his partner out.  “Sorry guys.  Been a long day.”

Carl moved aside, noticeably affronted.  He looked like he was about to say something, but abruptly closed his mouth and turned away, walking into the room.

“Well, that was just great!“  Loki said sarcastically as they walked towards their apartment.  “What was that all about anyway?”   Thor didn’t say anything, merely kept walking forward.  He had his arm over Loki’s shoulders, leaning a fair amount of his weight on the slighter man, making him struggle.  As they walked, he reached his other hand across his partner’s body, absently running his fingers over his arm, his chest, anywhere he could reach, making Loki lose his train of thought.  “S-so you – you chose to get drunk to… what? Cause a scene? ‘cuz that’s what you did” Loki huffed as they walked into the elevator.  He was about to speak again when Thor suddenly turned to him, pinning him to the wall of the elevator as soon as the doors closed.  Loki stilled, waiting to see what Thor would do, but the blond merely breathed in deeply, pressing his nose against the side of Loki’s head, his hands resting lightly on Loki’s hips.  “Uh, Thor?” He said, pressing lightly at Thor’s chest, suddenly concerned.  “You okay?” suddenly concerned that his partner had fallen asleep on him. 

When the elevator doors opened, Thor slowly lifted himself off a still flummoxed Loki and turned to walk out.  When he stumbled slightly, Loki shook himself out of his confusion and rushed to help him, on the walk back to their place.  “Congratulations, by the way,” Loki said curtly as they walked the final steps to their front door. “You’ve certainly fueled the gossip mill for the foreseeable future.”  He unlocked their front door and walked them through it, Thor still hanging on to him, touching him all over.  He kept it up as Loki walked to the bedroom.

“Jesus, Thor!” Loki finally said, exasperated “will you cut it out?” he said, trying to wriggle away while still supporting his partner.  In addition to Thor’s hands wandering all over him, Thor had begun nuzzling his neck and ear once they entered the apartment, making it even more difficult to walk.  “What’s come over you, anyway?”

At hearing the words, Thor stilled, turning to face Loki fully, with a thoughtful look, actually considering the question.  " _You've_ come over me” he finally said, leaning in and, without the slightest hesitation, placing a lingering kiss on Loki’s lips.  Despite the slight sway of his body, his mouth felt sure and solid as he slightly parted his lips and pressed the tip of his tongue to Loki, before pulling away slowly, a dopey grin on his face.

Their faces were inches apart and, despite the swiftness of their kiss, Loki was still a little breathless.  He felt his pulse quicken as he licked his lips, staring into those impossibly liquid blue eyes.  It would be so easy to lean in and take more of Thor, as much as he wanted.  He was so pliant, so willing… He could still taste Thor on his lips, and smell the alcohol on his breath.  This suddenly brought him up short.   _Get a hold of yourself,_ he thought  _He’s drunk!_ "Okay, big guy,” he finally said with a laugh, pushing Thor backwards “let's get you to bed." 

“Yes, definitely, lets me to bed,” Thor said, as he moved backwards till the backs of his knees touched the bed, forcing him to land backwards on the mattress, and taking a very surprised Loki with him.  “And you're coming with me, baby." Thor whispered as he tried to capture Loki’s mouth in a kiss.  Loki had landed squarely on top of him, pressing them together chest to groin.  He flailed on top of his partner, in an attempt to regain his footing, but that was just causing a delicious friction that was making him shiver with sudden  _need_ … 

“Okay, Thor, that’s enough!” Loki said, finally scrambling off the other man and sitting next to him on the bed, breathing quickly.  His chest heaved up and down, far too much for the slight exertion he had just experienced.  “You’re drunk, and you need to sleep it off…” he trailed off as Thor began to sit up, regarding Loki with a look… a look that was… almost predatory.  Loki had an instant to register the lust and desire in Thor’s glassy eyes before the larger man suddenly pounced on him. 

Thor used his weight advantage to pin Loki to the mattress as he finally captured his mouth and proceeded to devour him.  He moved over Loki insistently, straddling his hips, all the while enveloping the brunet’s mouth, thrusting his tongue in, exploring and claiming the warm, wet space. 

Conflicting thoughts stuttered through Loki’s mind as he gave in to Thor’s touches and kisses.   _Holy shit! What the… is he?... he’s drunk!… my God, that tongue!… maybe – we should stop… Mmm…_ Loki thought brokenly as he grasped at Thor’s biceps, thinking he would push him off, but instead pulled him closer, running his hands over Thor’s muscles, arching his back in response to his partner’s ministrations, his initial confusion disappearing in favor of complete and overwhelming lust.  Suddenly, his mind whited out as Thor ground his hips down, undeniable proof of his arousal pressing into Loki’s thigh.   _Or maybe we keep going just a little longer…_ Loki thought pressing up into Thor, desperately chasing the friction.

As Thor continued to explore Loki’s body with almost frantic hands, his mouth traveled to his neck and shoulders, covering the brunet with ravenous kisses.  Loki was sure they would leave a mark, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, just allowed himself to revel in this drunken attention.  He was sinking further into a lust-filled haze, enjoying Thor’s touch on his torso, when those hands darted lower and began unzipping Loki’s jeans.  Loki’s body responded, apparently of its own accord, parting his legs for easier access, desire pooling low in his belly. 

“MmmGodyess” Loki moaned as Thor’s fingers clumsily slipped below his waistband, gripping his hips.  The action quickly jolted Loki back to reality.   _What the fuck am I doing?  He’s drunk!_   Loki suddenly thought desperately. “N-no, Thor!” he said urgently as he tried to grasp his partner’s hands, a difficult feat, since they seemed to be everywhere at once. “You’re drunk! We’ve got to stop!”

“Don’t wanna stop” Thor mumbled between increasingly insistent kisses “Want this… want you” he said, more clearly.

Giving up trying to trap Thor’s hands, Loki instead gripped Thor’s head with both his hands, forcing them to face each other. “Thor, look at me! You’re not yourself, and you’ll regret this tomorrow.”  Thor didn’t look at him, instead closing his eyes, but his hands stilled their movements, and he allowed Loki to push him off, landing on his side of the bed in a heap.  He threw an arm over his eyes, breathing heavily from the exertion, but otherwise still, the alcohol having finally put him to sleep.

As Thor quickly fell asleep, Loki lay on his side of the bed, stunned.   _My God, we almost had sex!_   He thought to himself, still breathing heavily _.  If I hadn’t stopped him…_ ( _and why the hell did you stop him?!?_ His body asked insistently, his hard-on yearning for some release.)  _No, no!  It would have been wrong!  I shouldn’t have let it go as far as it did.  He was drunk! And yet…_   Loki squirmed uncomfortably as the memory of Thor’s hands over his did  _things_ to his already very aroused body.  His hand wandered down his body as he considered finishing himself off, but he decided against it, for fear of Thor noticing.  He turned his head and regarded his partner, still sleeping soundly, snoring lightly, an arm still over his eyes.  Well, at least he probably won’t remember any of this tomorrow Loki thought with some relief.  He lay awake for hours, occasionally glancing at Thor, and wondering where things went from here.


	13. Chapter 13

The alarm went off in the morning, waking Thor up immediately.  He opened his eyes, then quickly closed them again, feeling the pain as the sunlight hit his eyes.  “Fuck,” he said weakly, shielding his eyes as he opened them slightly, then peered at Loki’s side of the bed.  He breathed out a sigh of relief when he realized he was alone.  He wasn’t sure he was ready to face Loki after his embarrassing behavior from the previous night.  He remembered every detail, from the cocktail party to their frenzied make-out session afterwards.  Thor sat up and rubbed his fists over his eyes, trying to both relieve the slight throb in his head and erase the images from last night’s events, noting that he was still wearing last night’s clothes, even his shoes!  He hadn’t been nearly as drunk as everyone had thought him to be, conveniently misplacing his drink glasses after drinking the first two.  Early in the evening, he had devised a plan, wanting to figure out once and for all how Loki felt about him.  For the past couple of weeks Thor had increasingly felt… _something_ between them, almost like a low electrical current of sexual tension, but he needed to know if it was just him feeling it. 

As he took off the previous evening’s outfit, Thor pondered his actions.  Behaving like a drunk had been a convenient way to approach Loki (and make a move!), knowing he could later blame it on the alcohol.  _At least now I know_ , Thor thought defensively, as he felt a pang of guilt over his deception, _Loki’s attracted to me.  Loki wants me.  About as much as I want him, apparently,_ he thought suddenly.  He sat down heavily, clad in just his underwear now, as he admitted to himself now how overcome with lust he had felt when holding Loki, kissing him, biting him, hearing his moans of pleasure…  Yes, he wanted him.  Badly.  And he would have had him, if Loki hadn’t put a stop to it. 

As Thor closed his eyes, sinking deeper into his memories, reliving it, he heard the sound of the shower shutting off, making him realize where Loki was.  Okay, that’s not gonna help… Thor thought with a groan as his mind supplied images of a naked Loki, smooth white skin shimmering with water droplets as he stepped out of the shower, running his hands over his long slim body as he toweled off… Thor’s eyes popped open and he jumped out of bed, as if stung.  _Jesus, what the fuck!_ He thought shakily as he walked around the room.  He had been so caught up in his fantasy, reaching down to stroke himself before even realizing it.  He was half-hard and panting heavily when he suddenly realized what he was doing.  

 _I’ve gotta get out of here_ , he thought frantically, not wanting Loki to see him like this. _‘Um, hi Loki, I’m sprouting wood because I was just whacking off to the thought of you, naked, coming out of the shower’._   Thor closed his eyes, shaking head. _Yeah – not happening!_ He thought as he quickly put on shorts and a t-shirt. He was just finishing tying the laces on his running shoes when Loki entered the bedroom, naked but for a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Thor, where are you going?" Loki asked, a slight crease between his eyes.

“Going out for a run.” Thor said, all business, as he grabbed his phone off the nightstand and headed for the door, careful to keep his semi out of Loki’s sight. 

"I would think you'd have a terrible hangover, considering how much you drank last night." Loki commented.

"Yeah, thought a run might help though." Thor answered, before pausing at the door.  “Did I make a fool of myself last night?” he asked hesitantly, over his shoulder.  When there was no immediate answer, He turned to look at Loki.

“D-don’t you… You don’t remember anything from last night, do you?” Loki finally said, regarding Thor.

“Not really… That fucking cocktail was lethal” Thor said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down “Didn’t really know what hit me.  Why? What happened?” He asked slowly, a look of dread crossing his face.

 _He really doesn’t remember!?_ Loki thought incredulously, not sure if he was relieved or disappointed.    “You, um, kind of… threatened Carl” Loki said, regarding Thor intently, looking for a reaction.

“Oh… Oh!” Thor said, a smile blooming on his face.  “Well, I’m sure that asshole deserved it, no matter what.”

“Thor…” Loki began, but was immediately cut off by his partner.

“I’ll catch you later!” Thor called as he rushed out, running out the door, leaving Loki wondering just how much he really had remembered.

. o O o .

 By the time Thor returned from his run, he was relieved to note that Loki had already left for work.  He’d need the extra time apart to regroup before facing him again.  It was going to be extra difficult to be around Loki after last night… after this morning’s realization.  Thor shuddered as he remembered Loki this morning, standing before him in just a towel.  Thor’s hands had itched to pull it off, picking up his explorations where he had left off the night before… _Yeah_ , he thought, running a hand through his hair as he headed to the shower, _extra difficult!_

As Thor drove into the precinct’s garage, he knew he was in trouble.  Already he could feel the anticipation practically prickling on his skin as he thought of seeing Loki again.  He sat in his car for a moment, _Just going into work,_ he told himself.  _Lots to do, plenty to take care of.  Whatever this is with Loki’s gonna have to wait.  We can talk later… at home…_ “Argh!” he said out loud in frustration as he finally got out of the car, upset at himself, the mere idea of being alone with Loki getting him going again.  _Focus on work,_ He told himself as he walked to the elevator.  _That’s what I need to do._

Turns out it was easier said than done.  Throughout the morning, Thor’s attention was constantly sidetracked by Loki, as he moved around the precinct going about his day, talking to the captain, walking to the records room, at the copy machine, it didn’t matter.  Thor constantly kept him in his periphery, subconsciously noting his every move.

As midday approached, Thor steeled himself to approach Loki, to see about joining him for Lunch, maybe broach the subject of the previous night.  He sought him out, looking everywhere until he found him in front of the IT lab.  Loki was deep in conversation with one of the precinct’s engineers.  Thor thought he recognized him as Banner, but he couldn’t be sure, since he didn’t really frequent the place.  Judging from the closeness and easy manner of the two men, though, Loki obviously did.  He watched as the two men broke into easy laughter at something Banner said, the older man placing a hand on Loki’s arm in camaraderie, making his stomach lurch as he watched the interaction.  He was pretty sure the two men weren’t involved, yet watching them together caused a thread of jealousy to spike in his chest. 

Almost as if called, Loki glanced up and looked directly at Thor across the hallway, watching them.  Thor tensed, feeling guilty at being caught, but Loki awarded him with the most beautiful smile, apparently happy to see him, sending a thrill through Thor.  He returned the smile and raised hand in greeting, preparing to walk over, when he suddenly felt a hand on his arm.

"Am I interrupting you?" Thor jumped at the touch, turning to see his girlfriend, Jane, looking up at him quizzically.

“Jane!” Thor said, perhaps a bit hysterically.  “Wow, what a surprise!” he said, turning towards her, one arm extended, while she had extended both arms, trying to embrace him.  He turned again, extending his other arm, not seeming to know how to greet her.  They finally ended up in an awkward one-armed hug, with Thor placing a kiss on top of her head.  “It’s great to see you,” he said lamely, wincing at his words.  He sounded like he was greeting an acquaintance rather than his girlfriend of over a year.  Thor quickly cast a guilty glance down the hall, where Loki had been standing, but the two men had gone. 

“Yeah, _great_ to see _you_ too,” Jane said sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at his behavior.  “I figured I’d come looking for you since apparently, you seem to have forgotten how to make a phone call.  Or text.  Or email.”  She’d kept her tone light, and there was a smile on her face, but Thor could see a strained tightness in her eyes, as if she were annoyed, holding something back.

“God, Jane, I’m sorry!  It’s been this case.  I’ve just been so overwhelmed…” Thor trailed off apologetically, hoping that was enough of an explanation. 

Hearing his helpless tone, Jane softened a bit. "I know, I know,” She said, frowning a bit.  “Detective work, undercover, minimum communication, blah blah blah… I remember the drill,” she said, moving closer, as she tugged at his shirt, pulling him closer in.  “I miss you though,” she huffed, pouting, as she looked up at him with sad eyes, obviously trying to sway him into feeling guilty.  “Since this whole thing started, you’ve practically disappeared!”

Despite her attempts at acting the disarming, clingy girlfriend, Thor could hear an undertone of anger and frustration, obviously feeling annoyed by the slight.   He regarded her as she spoke, thinking about their relationship.  When they had gotten together, everyone had thought they made the perfect couple.  Jane was, after all, very beautiful, and it was almost a foregone conclusion that the two would end up together.  Even in the beginning, thought, Thor couldn’t help but think that Jane was more interested in being linked to him in everyone’s eyes than in Thor himself.  She documented their relationship in social media so meticulously that one could actually follow the course of it by looking at her Facebook history. 

“Thor, are you even listening to me?” Jane’s sharp tone brought Thor back to the present.

“S-sorry, what?” he stuttered.

“I was just saying, how much longer do you think this case is going to be?  I know, I know,” Jane said, seeing the incredulous look on Thor’s face.  “These things can’t be predicted.  But I was thinking, if you’re done before the 30th, we could still make it to my sister’s wedding.” She said hopefully, gazing up at Thor.  “Everyone is so looking forward to meeting you, and I know how excited you are to meet them too.”

 _How much longer?  Is she serious?_  Thor thought, as Jane continued talking about color schemes, place cards, flowers… all things ‘wedding’.  _And when the fuck have I been_ _excited_ _to meet these people?_ He thought incredulously.  He had known for a little while now that Jane was trying to steer them towards the altar, but he’d never paid too much attention, just allowing himself to be led.  He wasn’t necessarily looking forward to getting married, but he’d figured it was the next natural step for them.  _Maybe this is what I need_ , he thought suddenly as he looked at Jane’s expectant face.  _Maybe focusing on Jane will make me feel in control of my life again._   In all the time he’d been with Jane, Thor had never felt the giddy, out of control excitement that he’d felt in the few weeks he’d known Loki.  Being with her was simple, easy.  Like following a script.  The exact opposite of how he felt with Loki.  The man left him off-balance, and it scared Thor.   _I need to put some distance between us, get some perspective_. He thought decisively.

“I’m sorry, you’re right, I’ve been neglecting you.” Thor said to Jane, making a decision. “Tell you what, I’ll make it up to you” He said with a smile. “We’ll go out, catch up, reconnect, I promise.”

"Tonight?" Jane said, her mood brightening.

"Um…” Thor said, hesitating, not sure he wanted to start the ‘put some distance’ plan into place right this minute.  “ah, sure, why not?" He finally said, relenting.

“Great!” Jane said, reaching up to kiss Thor lightly on the lips. “See you tonight, then” She whispered in his ear before turning and walking towards her office.

Heading back to his desk, Thor told himself that this was a good thing.  He and his girlfriend would reconnect, get reacquainted, and he’ll be reminded of what drew her to him in the first place.  _Yes, this is a good plan_ , he told himself, trying to ignore the tightening in his chest and the growing panic as a small voice in his head supplied, _What the hell did I just agree to?! I don’t want to spend the evening with her!_   Even as he thought this though, Thor realized how ridiculous he was being in light of the fact that this was his girlfriend he was talking about, and she had every right to want to spend time together _.  Then why haven’t I really given her a second thought since the first time I kissed Loki?_   He asked himself guiltily.  _Maybe_ , he thought, _this is for the best_.  Last night he had crossed certain lines that he’d never imagined himself crossing.  He really needed to return to reality, his reality.  Thor sat at his desk, leaned back and closed his eyes, breathing deeply, but all he could see was Loki's beautiful face looking up at him in wonderment as Thor pinned him to the bed and ravished him with kisses. He couldn't remember ever feeling such intense want and lust with anyone else, certainly not with Jane… No, he had to see Jane, be with her, and prove to himself that he had simply transferred his feelings blindly and momentarily.

The break room was thankfully empty when Loki walked in.  He leaned against the counter, trying to catch his breath.  When Jane had approached Thor, Loki had retreated into the I.T. lab and intently watched the couple’s interaction.  He had felt a pang of jealousy watching the two fall into an easy conversation, constantly in physical contact.  He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but thought he could figure out the gist of it from their body language.  They were obviously very comfortable with each other, and seemed to fit together perfectly.  Loki felt a weight in his gut as he realized just how perfect the two were for each other.   Jane was a beautiful petite girl, the perfect complement to Thor’s large muscular build.  When Jane leaned up and kissed Thor, Loki couldn’t take any more.  He quickly walked out, mumbling his goodbyes to Bruce, who had stood beside him, being silently sympathetic.

“I’m such an idiot!” he mumbled to himself, as he rooted around the cabinet, grabbing a coffee mug.  Now he could admit to himself that he had actually been nursing a small hope that maybe his partner had begun to develop feelings for him, especially after last night, Thor wanting him, even if it was in a drunken stupor.  “Ugh!” he groaned, closing the cabinet and repeatedly hitting his forehead lightly against the door.

"Hey, you okay?" Thor asked tentatively.  He was standing in the doorway, watching Loki, a concerned look on his face.

“Yeah!” Loki said, jumping back from the cabinet and turning towards Thor.  “Yeah, I’m fine… just frustrated with the investigation” he said, thinking quickly of a new topic.  “The new data on the guy from 121-A was a dead end, so we’re gonna have to cross him off our suspect list.” He said, plastering a bland smile on his face.

“Oh,” Thor said, mentally trying to catch up.  “Okay, then.  Plenty of others to investigate, though” he said, walking further into the room, still watching his partner intently.

The two stood there, facing each other rather nervously, neither saying a word for a moment.

“So!” Loki said, clapping his hands once and rubbing his palms together “Steak tonight?  I make a mean cowboy steak…” He said, looking at Thor expectantly. 

“Wow that sounds great,” Thor said, smiling sadly “but I’m going out with Jane tonight.” He said, looking anywhere but at Loki. “You know, my girlfriend?  It’s been a while.  She kind of ambushed me in the hall a little while ago” he said, jerking his thumb towards the hall, finally looking at Loki with a crooked smile.

“Well it’s no wonder!” Loki said, a sporting a big fake smile. “Poor girl, you’ve practically abandoned her.” He continued, going to the sink and rinsing out the coffee cup he never used, just to have something to do.  “That’s good, thought.  Dinner’s a good idea.” He said placing the cup in the strainer and drying his hands.  “Well, better get back to work!” he said with false cheer as he started walking out the door.  When he passed Thor, though, he was startled by the larger man grabbing his arm. 

“Don’t – just don’t go out tonight,” Thor said, looking at him earnestly.

“What?” Loki said, jerking back. “Why? What do you mean?” He said, confused by his words.

"I mean, just stay home in the apartment. Don't accept any invitations.  Please.” Thor said, a pleading tone in his voice.

"Well, that’s an odd request," Loki said slowly, genuinely taken aback.

"I just don't trust those guys!” he growled, unconsciously tightening his grip on his partner’s arm.  “Eric, Carl… what if they try something?”

“Then I take care of it,” Loki said, chuckling. "I'm a grown man Thor. I'm a cop, for God's sake! I can take care of myself." He said, with false exasperation, before smiling.  He wanted to be annoyed by the overprotective treatment, but he was actually finding Thor's concern rather charming.  He turned once again to walk out, when Thor pulled him towards him and turned him slightly, pushing him back against the counter, then placing one hand on the counter beside Loki, the other grasping his partner’s neck, effectively stopping his movement. 

"I'm not kidding, Loki,” Thor said in a low voice “I don't want you going out! Please?” As he spoke, an edge to his voice, he seemed to become distracted by his thumb against the edge of Loki’s jaw.  He began to lightly stroke the skin there, his anger fading as he seemed to become mesmerized by the movement, staring intently at his hand connected to Loki.  His gaze darted to his partner’s slightly parted lips, drawn by the sound as Loki’s breaths came short and quick.  Loki stood completely still before him, in no hurry to move away.  His eyes were dazed, half closed, and, as Thor watched, he darted his tongue out, quickly licking his lower lip, leaving it slightly glistening… _I’m going to kiss him,_ Thor suddenly thought, and it was the ease in which his brain made that connection that made him jerk back, shocked at how ready he was to act on his impulse.

Neither man said anything as Thor took two steps back, turning his back to his partner as he ran his hands over his face, clearing his head.  “Okay, I'll stay put tonight." Loki finally said quietly, more to fill the silence than anything.  He smiled at Thor as the blond turned to look at him “I promise.” He said.  “Thanks for worrying, by the way.” He said easily, trying to lighten the mood. 

At that moment, two of their fellow detectives Harper and Franklin, walked into the lunch room, deep in conversation about evidence on one of their cases. 

“Hey, Thor,” Franklin said, as he walked in “You’ve used the records archive for your research, right?”

“Um, yeah?” Thor said frowning, not sure where the question was going.

“Excuse me gentlemen.” Loki said, walking out quickly, leaving Thor with the other men.

“Was it worth the time?” Franklin continued “We seem to be hitting dead ends running our own sources.  Figured we might give the archives a shot.”

“Yeah.  Yeah, it’s worth it.” Thor said with a shrug, dragging his brain away from Loki and into the present conversation.  “Anyway, that’s what it’s there for,” he said with a grin “May as well take advantage of it.”

“Thanks, man,” Franklin said as he pulled a soda out of the refrigerator.  “We’ll give it a shot”.

“That’s the gay guy, isn’t it?” Harper said suddenly.  He had been silent up until now, watching Loki as he’d walked out, then followed his progress with his eyes.  Thor immediately tightened his jaw in annoyance, merely nodding curtly in response to the detective.  

“Oh, shit!  That’s right!” Franklin said excitedly, quickly joining Harper to watch Loki from his vantage point near the door.  “I forgot, you’re working a case with him!” he said distractedly, watching Loki move about the office through the room’s window.  Thor moved to the refrigerator, grabbed a bottle of water and turned to leave, not wanting to be a part of this conversation. 

“Hey, he’s pretty hot,” Harper said with a smirk, elbowing his partner.  “Maybe I should offer to throw him a shot” He said laughing. 

Thor stopped abruptly, turning around to face the men.  “Watch it,” He said angrily.  

“Probably be up for a blow job, at least.” Franklin said agreeably. “You know how these guys are… probably gives great head –“ His last words were cut off in shock as Thor suddenly came up and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, face uncomfortably close.

"Shut the fuck up!" Thor growled, leaning in menacingly.  The two men remained quiet, completely caught off guard by his reaction.  He abruptly released Franklin, turned and stalked out, not waiting for a response. 

Thor headed to Loki’s desk, still fuming over the conversation in the lunch room.  Loki was getting ready to leave for the night, stuffing paperwork in his satchel and shutting off his computer.  He hung back a few paces before making his presence known, regarding his partner anxiously.  The comments in the lunchroom had made him very uneasy, not necessarily because of the crudeness, but because of _who_ had spoken them and _where_.  These were his _colleagues_ , people he’d known for years.  If these guys, guys Thor regarded as good people, made disparaging comments about Loki, then what might possibly await him out in the rest of the world?  Thor’s anxiety ratcheted up a notch at the possible worst case scenarios.

Loki looked up, suddenly noticing Thor’s presence.  “Just heading out,” he said with a small smile as he hoisted his bag over his shoulder.  “Have a nice evening.”

"I'll see you tomorrow,” Thor said, furrowing his brow slightly as he looked at Loki with concern.  “Will you be alright?”

“Oh! You – you’re not – of course not…” Loki stammered, gathered his words, noticing Thor’s frown deepen. “I just didn’t know you weren’t going back to the condo tonight.” He said, more in control of his speech now.  “But of course you’re not!  Big romantic dinner with the girlfriend!  I should have realized…” He tapered off, aware that he was rambling, but seemingly powerless to stop it.

“Yeah, I’ll probably be staying at Jane’s…” Thor mumbled, gazing down at his feet.  _This is ridiculous,_ he fumed.  _I don’t need to explain myself! Why am I acting like I have something to feel guilty for?_ ( _A ha! So you do feel guilty!_ His inner voice supplied)

“Well, have a great time!” Loki said cheerily as he hurried towards the open elevator, turning to wave when the doors began to close.  Thor raised his hand, watching the doors close completely, already noting his partner’s absence with a heaviness in his heart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, new chapter! And the plot thickens! Thanks so much for all the great comments. I'm sorry Thor is making so many of you so mad! I hope he redeems himself later ;-)

Promptly at 6:00, Thor stood in the doorway to Jane’s office.  He had been somewhat dreading this dinner, wary of how much Jane would be able to read on his face of the thoughts flying around in his mind.  In the end, he had squared his shoulders, told himself _I can do this_ , and went up the requisite floors to the records department, where Jane worked.   Thor walked in and stood by Jane’s desk.  “Ready to go?” he said with a smile when she looked up at him. 

“Hey! There you are!” She said, with a loud cheerfulness that made Thor raise an eyebrow in question.  She quickly walked around her desk and came up to him, wrapping her arm around his waist and planting a kiss on his lips that he was sure violated some departmental PDA regulations.  _What the fuck!_ He thought as Jane’s kiss lingered, until they heard a couple of whistles and a wolf call.

“Hey, get a room, guys!” someone called from across the room.  Thor disentangled himself from Jane’s grasp, holding her at arm’s length with a wince.

“What the hell’s gotten into you?” he said looking at her with a frown.  As long as they’d been dating, Jane had always insisted on keeping a low profile on their relationship, not wanting to draw too much attention to it.  Everyone knew they were together, they just weren’t very demonstrative.  This was a complete departure from what she was normally like.

“I just missed you honey!” Jane said, overly sweetly, giving Thor another squeeze, then walking him over to a cluster of people, all smiling expectantly at them.  “Here he is!” Jane said in sing-song voice “just like I said”

_What the – ?_ Thor thought to himself, now simply staring at her, open-mouthed.  This is NOT Jane!  Is she drunk or something?! Thor stood silently as Jane introduced him to all her friends, barely registering the different names, smiling slightly and mumbling his hellos.  He still couldn’t get over the extreme change in Jane’s behavior.  _What happened to being discreet?_ Thor thought, panicked.  _It’s almost as if she’s… what? Showing off?  Showing US off?_  He realized, suddenly very uncomfortable. 

 “Jane, we’d better get going” Thor said, taking Jane’s forearm to interrupt her conversation.  She had been talking about the photographer that someone named Mandy had used at her wedding, and wanting their contact info.  “We have reservations at 7:00” he said quickly, leading her out the door. 

“Okay, sweetie” She said, looking up adoringly at him, clinging to his arm.  “See you all tomorrow!” she waved at everyone as she and Thor said their goodbyes, while everyone saw them off as they got in the elevator. 

_It’s gonna be a long night,_ Thor thought as Jane turned to him, smiling sweetly and saying “Its gonna be a wonderful night!”

Unfortunately for Jane, dinner wasn’t so wonderful.  They arrived at the restaurant, (an Italian place that they were regulars at) where the host recognized and greeted them by name.

“Miss Foster!  Mister Thor!” The host greeted them “So good to see you!  It’s been too long” He gushed as he showed them to their ‘regular’ table. 

As the host continued talking, telling them of the evening’s specials, Thor took out his phone and quickly checked the screen for activity.  He frowned as he noted no missed calls or texts from Loki.  He hadn’t asked his partner to check in with him, but would expect that if there were trouble, he would notify him.  As a result Thor both dreaded and anticipated some kind of communication. 

“Wasn’t that nice, Thor?” Jane was saying.  Thor looked up suddenly, realizing that both Jane and the host were watching him expectantly.

“Hm? What?” Thor said, trying to catch up.

“Mr. Phillips just gave us a lovely bottle of wine!” Jane said happily, putting her hand on his forearm.  She smiled, but the vise grip she had on him told him he was in trouble. 

“Thanks” Thor said, smiling quickly as he pulled his arm Free.  The host excused himself hesitantly, not sure what to say. 

The look Jane was glaring his way was murderous.  She looked about to say something, but then took a deep breath and seemed to change her mind.  “So,” she said, clasping her hands together and turning a softened gaze at Thor. “Good news!” She said with a squeal “There was a cancellation at the B&B my parents are staying at in Napa next month.  It’s short notice, but they snatched it up for us, so… we’ll be going to Napa!” She said happily.  Her smile slipped gradually when she didn’t get a reaction from Thor.

“Thor, are you even listening to me?” Jane said incredulously as she noticed Thor looking at his phone, yet again.  Thor looked up quickly, but was saved from saying anything when their server appeared to take their order.  He smiled sheepishly at her and put his phone away.  They placed their dinner orders and Jane visibly relaxed and began the conversation anew.  “So what do you think?” She said to him, holding on to her temper by a hair.

“About what?” Thor said, confused.

“About Napa!” Jane said, widening her eyes, disbelieving.  “Weren’t you listening?  It’s a great opportunity, you know.  The B&B is this beautiful old mansion!  Incredibly romantic!  And mommy and daddy can’t wait to meet you!  I told them you’ve been dying to meet them too, so it’ll be great” She said, smiling happily.

_Okay, when did I ever say I’ve been dying to meet them?!?_ Thor thought desperately.  Where did she get that idea?  “Listen Jane, I – “ He started to say, when suddenly his attention was diverted to his phone, buzzing in his pocket.  He struggled to pull his phone out, in his haste to gt to it quickly.  Thor expelled a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when he saw it was a text from his sister, reminding him that it was their mom’s birthday the next day and not to forget to call. 

“Everything ok?” Jane asked, concerned.

“Yeah, just my sister,” Thor said distractedly, typing out a response, then checking for any other activity on his phone, and noted with a frown that there hadn’t been any.  He couldn’t believe how wound up he was over Loki.  His partner was a highly trained police officer and could take care of himself in the event of any trouble, yet Thor couldn’t shake an uneasy shiver nonetheless.  He thought of Carl, the way he stared intensely at Loki, with looks no less than hungry, and the man’s complete lack of respect for personal space… _And then there’s that asshole!_ Thor thought angrily as he thought of Eric.  _The prick thinks he’s practically bought Loki!  What if he thinks he can come and collect tonight?_ Thor thought, suddenly in a panic. 

"Thor, do you want to tell me what's going on?"  Jane said tersely.  She had been watching him, noting the play of emotions cross his face.

Realizing a question had been asked, Thor looked up at Jane. "What?"

"Oh my god, Thor, focus!” Jane hissed at him in a low tone, as if not wanting anyone to hear her.  “What is going on with you? You've barely said two words to me, you were rude to the staff and you’ve been constantly checking your phone!” She leaned in, as if sharing an intimate secret, but her tone was intense. “People know us here!  What do you think they’ll say if you keep ignoring me like this?” she said as she gazed fiercely at him.

Thor felt a pang of guilt. He knew Jane did not deserve to be treated like this. He liked her.  Once, he even thought he could love her.  Listening to her now, though, Thor was having trouble even maintaining a conversation with her, much less imagining her as his partner in life.  She was trying to lead the two of them towards marriage, but Thor didn’t want to take that trip with her.

"I'm just worried about my current case," Thor said finally, wanting to fill the silence.  “I’m worried about my partner's safety. I'm not sure he can handle being alone."

"Is he in danger?" Jane asked slowly, sounding concerned.

"I… I think so...“ Thor said, suddenly pensive.  “Especially… especially since he tends to… to take chances when he shouldn't...“ He stopped talking abruptly as his mind was suddenly filled with images of Eric, Carl, and any number of other men that they had met at the Sapphire Towers.  Many of them gazing at Loki appreciatively, _hungrily_ … “I'm sorry Jane, I've gotta go." Thor said abruptly as he stood up, pulling a wad of bills and dropping them on the table.

“Wait, seriously!?” Jane screeched, trying to keep from drawing attention to them.  “You’re going to… just… leave me? Here? Alone?!” She stared up at Thor, mouth agape, disbelieving.  _Oh no no no! This is **not** happening!_ Jane thought fiercely.  _I do NOT get walked out on!_   She glared at him, clearly annoyed.  First, Thor had insisted on separate cars but now this? Leaving her alone in a restaurant, without truly acknowledging her all evening? This was too much.

“Is he really in _that_ much danger?  Can he really not be without you for one night?” She said, willing her voice to be softer.  “I thought you were sleeping over.  It’s…" Jane lowered her voice, grasping his wrist, "It’s been a while."

It was as if she hadn’t even spoken.  Thor seemed oblivious to Jane's words, quickly checking his phone again when it pinged in his pocket.  “Yeah, I’ll call you,” he said, patting her shoulder absently, his mind on nothing but getting to Loki and making sure he was safe.

On seeing this, Jane quickly let her anger show.

"Fine! Go! But don't bother calling me tomorrow." She said angrily, in an attempt to save face and show she still had some control over the situation, but Thor simply kissed her quickly on the forehead and rushed out of the crowded restaurant. Jane had never felt so humiliated and powerless.

Driving back to the condo, Thor felt a twinge of remorse for the way he had left things with Jane, but the more he navigated through traffic, the more his thoughts kept turning to Loki, and soon his desire to see his partner so overwhelmed him that he soon forgot all aspects of remorse.  A part of him really did feel that Loki was in danger, but he couldn’t deny an obsessive need to know where Loki was, or with whom.

. o O o .

“I probably should have taken that guy up on the offer of plastic bags instead of paper,” Loki grumbled to himself as he struggled with the two heavy grocery bags.  He’d stopped at the grocery store on the way home, intending to pick up the fixings for a steak dinner-for-one, determined to relax and definitely _not_ think about Thor.  Instead, he wound up buying supplies for several meals, food that he was planning to prepare for Thor at different times. _And yes, I know, that makes me kinda pathetic_ , he thought to himself as he walked into the elevator.  His phone suddenly pinged as the elevator reached his floor.  He stumbled out and proceeded awkwardly, trying to balance both grocery bags, his satchel and check his phone at the same time.  In the back of his mind he knew he should just wait till he got inside to check his phone, but the possibility that it might be Thor contacting him overrode all logic _.  It might be work-related_ , he thought to himself, but even in his own mind that sounded lame. 

He peered over the bag at the phone in his hand, sighing dejectedly when he saw it wasn’t Thor, but rather his sister Darcy, sending him yet another weird text message.  _She’s probably drunk_ , he thought, frustrated. Loki steeled himself against the possibility of having to deal with _that_ sooner rather than later.  He gritted his teeth against that realization.  He didn’t want to blame her.  He knew that Darcy had as rough a childhood as he did, and everyone coped with things differently, but he couldn’t help but be frustrated.  And guilty.  Because, he was so tired of cleaning up after her messes!  Since they’d reconnected when she’d shown up at his doorstep in Las Vegas, he had bailed her out of jail, paid off a variety of debts, some legal, some dubious, rescued her from sketchy situations, including one memorable occasion where he’d had to beat up two guys to pull her out of a seedy motel where she’d been on a bender.  In the beginning, Loki was actually happy to have someone to take care of, but gradually he began to realize he was too much of a crutch for her, and she was never going to grow up and take responsibility for herself until he pulled away. 

Things had gotten better once Ian was born.  A smile bloomed on his face as Loki recalled his three year old nephew.  The kid was great, and his presence seemed to be just what Darcy’s life had needed.  The father had been a loser that didn’t linger in their lives for more than a couple of weeks, but as soon as she found out she was pregnant, Darcy had cleaned up her act, gotten her GED and a good job with benefits.  Loki had been so proud, and he had felt comfortable enough with her progress to finally move away and build a life for himself. 

He slowed near his door and shifted the packages in his arms, trying to position his key card in preparation for unlocking the door, glad that he’d had the presence of mind to carry it in his hand.  As he struggled, he groaned inwardly at the thought that he might be pulled into whatever drama Darcy had gotten herself into.  Again.  He suddenly felt so tired, and wished Thor were there, if only to listen to him bitch and moan about his family.  Loki could fix him dinner, and they could trade stories about their respective families… _and, if at some point, we happen to make out… well so be it!_ Loki suddenly thought, as a sly private smile ghosted over his lips.  His smile quickly disappeared as he thought about today, about where Thor was.  _Why the hell would he be here with me?_ He asked himself sadly.  _He’s with his girlfriend!  If the gossip around the precinct is to be believed_ (and Loki had been paying close attention to it lately) _she’s more like a fiancé!_ He shook himself out of his reverie as he took the last few steps towards his door.  _God, I am pathetic!_ He thought to himself with a heavy heart.

As he struggled to put his pass key in the door's slot, Loki suddenly felt someone behind him.  He jumped in surprise and dropped his key and phone altogether, quickly turning around at alert. As he regarded the imposing figure of the building superintendent standing inches away, Loki couldn’t help but berate himself.  Normally, he was hyper-aware of his surroundings.  There was no way anyone could sneak up on him!  But he’d been so wrapped up in his thoughts, ( _and wallowing in misery_ , that annoying voice said) that he hadn’t been paying attention.  _Dammit!_   He thought, _Thor’s never gonna let me hear the end of it._

"Good evening Loki,” Carl murmured as he crowded in front of Loki, licking his lips as he spoke “can I be of some assistance?" As he spoke, Carl continued to draw closer to Loki, forcing the detective to back up, until he had his back pressed against the condo’s front door.  As if waiting for this particular moment, Carl reached out both hands, placing them on the door on either side of Loki’s shoulders, effectively trapping him there.  Carl’s face was now no more than an inch from Loki’s, close enough for him to feel the larger man’s breath on his face.  It was at this moment that Loki felt a very distinctive shift in the situation.  The look in Carl’s eyes, which had seemed hazy and unfocused at first, suddenly sharpened into a cold calculating stare, which made Loki go from mildly annoyed to concerned and on alert.  _This man is dangerous_ , he thought with sudden clarity.

“Oh, I’m good Carl.  Thanks for asking.” Loki said as pleasantly as possible while he turned his head to the side, subtly shifting the bags in his arms, ready to use them as a defensive weapon or, a distraction if necessary.  _Okay, just keep calm,_ Loki thought quickly, _act as if this is the most normal thing in the world, instead of truly fucking weird!_ Instinctively, he knew Carl was teetering on some sort of line, and he needed to tread carefully, so as not to push the man off balance.    

"Yes… you certainly are.” Carl whispered, a tremor in his voice as he leaned in until his nose grazed Loki’s temple, making the detective tense up with shock.

_Uh, pretty fair to say balance has been lost!_ Loki thought as he stared wide-eyed.

 “I can help you, you know…” Carl said, leaning back to look Loki in the eye. “With anything…” he said, licking his lips again.  He was using his full weight, leaning into the grocery bags in front of Loki, effectively pinning the man there.  Loki was taking shallow breaths, feeling very uncomfortable, both from the crushing weight on his chest and the _fucking weirdness_ of the situation!

"I could do things for you, Loki” Carl said, suddenly urgently “Perhaps things Thor cannot do" he said, grasping Loki's shoulders forcefully. 

_Okay, time to get a handle on this,_ Loki thought, casting about his mind wildly in search of an exit plan that wouldn’t end with Carl seriously injured.  "This isn't funny, Carl, let me go!" Loki said through gritted teeth, as menacingly as possible, hoping to scare the larger man into backing down.  Carl only smiled broadly, appearing to become increasingly aroused by the brunet's resistance.  _Shit! I’m gonna have to hurt him!_   Loki thought, bracing himself as the larger man drew in even closer.

"Get your hands off my husband." Thor spoke quietly, but his voice rang out clearly, nonetheless, the threat in it unmistakable.  Carl immediately dropped his hands from Loki’s shoulders and spun around to face an enraged Thor.  His movements were so quick, they took both Carl and Loki by surprise.  Thor grabbed Carl by the front of his shirt with both fists, jerking him towards him roughly before slamming him against the wall.  “Fucking asshole!” Thor growled, as he pulled his right fist back, preparing to strike the older man.

"Thor, no!" Loki said, loudly, getting Thor’s attention, who paused, his fist in the air. "It's not necessary, no harm done, I swear."

Thor released the frightened man, who quickly skulked away, down the hallway.  Loki stood stock still, not quite believing what had just happened.  “Well, that –“

“Inside.” Thor said tightly, as he rushed to pick up Loki’s pass key and phone, and quickly opened the door, the anger practically radiating off of him.  He grabbed Loki by the arm and pushed him into the apartment, turning to slam and lock the door behind them.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! They get together. I'm kinda nervous, this is my first attempt at smut. Hope its all right! :-)
> 
> As always, the wonderful art in this chapter belongs to GoLikeThat. Check him out on Deviantart.com

In the confines of the condo, Thor’s rage seemed to envelop them both.  Loki dropped his grocery bags and satchel on the nearest table as he steeled himself against the argument that he knew was coming.  Thor was seething as he stood across the room, looking at him with fierce intensity.  _Aw shit, here we go_ , Loki thought with resignation.  "I know, I know,” Loki said placatingly, his hands up, palms out, as Thor approached him “I’m an idiot for being alone with him, but in my defense, I hadn’t even gotten home yet!  He –“ the rest of his explanation was cut off in surprise as Thor reached out and embraced him, pulling him into a tight hug, pressing their bodies together.  Loki felt crushed, similar to when Carl had done earlier, only this time, the closeness was a welcome surprise.

A deep breath escaped Thor’s lips as he leaned in to bury his face in Loki’s hair, drawing him in tighter for a moment, before quickly pulling back.  “Are you okay?” He said urgently, his brow furrowed in concern as his hands came up to frame Loki’s face.  “Did that bastard hurt you?  What did he do?” As he spoke, he ran his hands over Loki’s face, his neck, shoulders, turning his head slightly left and right, as if expecting to see signs of injury.

The words took a moment to register in Loki’s mind, as he was still thrown by Thor’s sudden physical contact.  He tried to form a coherent answer, but was completely distracted by his partner’s hands running over his body.  “Th – Thor… Um…” Loki muttered, as his eyes began to close, losing himself to the sensation “Thor… Thor!” he finally said, grasping the hands as they ghosted over his hips, “I’m okay, really.  H – he didn’t… he didn’t—“

“What? What is it?” Thor said anxiously, pulling his hands out of Loki’s grasp and holding his partner’s face, surprisingly gently.  “Talk to me! Obviously something’s wrong!” Thor said quietly, brushing the tousled locks away from Loki’s face.  “Shit, you’re shaking and you can’t even finish a sentence!”

“It’s – it’s not – “ Loki stuttered, not really getting out a coherent sentence _.  Okay, what the fuck?_   Loki thought, frustrated _.  I CAN talk, right?  I seem to remember knowing how before today_!  Thor continued to stare at him fiercely, His hands absently moving slowly up and down on Loki’s back in a soothing motion.  He could feel Thor relaxing as they continued to gaze at each other.  "I – I thought you weren't— coming home tonight?" Loki said with a whisper.

Upon hearing Loki’s words, Thor couldn’t help but smile, because, yes, this did feel like home.  Loki gazed at Thor warily, not sure how to interpret his smile.  "Are you angry?"

The smile slipped from Thor’s face slightly, as he was stricken by the idea that he made Loki nervous.  He leaned over slowly, softly grazing his lips against Loki’s, making his partner gasp in surprise.

"No, I’m not angry at you, Loki." Thor said with a tenderness Loki had never imagined in he’d see.  “I needed to see you.  Be near you.” He said softly, brushing his fingers against Loki’s face and neck.  “You’re all I’ve been able to think about all night.  I missed you” he leaned in, whispering in his partner’s ear.

As soon as he felt Thor’s breath on his ear, Loki’s brain seemed to short circuit.  He was fighting to try and stay coherent, but was quickly losing the battle, what with Thor slowly nuzzling at his temple, his hands stroking up and down his back.  He was drifting away, perfectly willing to surrender all control to Thor.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, he noted his partner was murmuring something, but he couldn’t make sense of the words, when merely the rumbling of Thor’s voice through his body was doing delicious things to his senses.  “Hm?  Wha – what?”

"I said, I have a confession to make." Thor said more clearly, pulling away slightly.  "I, uh,  I wasn’t… I wasn’t really that drunk yesterday…” he said hesitantly, speaking the last few words into Loki’s hair.

“You—you weren’t that drunk?” Loki said slowly as he regarded Thor with wide eyes. “So… so what do you mean?  You weren’t really drunk yesterday?” Loki said, a little louder than he meant to sound.  “So you – you knew… you DO remember what happened?” he said, holding Thor at arm’s length, one eyebrow cocked as he waited for an answer.

“Um… Yes?” Thor said hesitantly, shifting uncomfortably, unsure of where Loki’s reaction was going.  

"You wanted it to happen."  Loki said.  A statement, not a question.  He gazed into Thor’s eyes with wonderment, his emerald eyes shimmering with arousal and surprise and… lust!  Thor smiled and nodded at the brunet’s realization, before impulsively sealing his mouth over his. 

For one brief moment, Thor was afraid Loki would push him away when he felt Loki’s body stiffen but instead the brunet reached out, clasping the back of his head, tilting it for a better fit, and then Loki’s tongue was in his mouth and all coherent thought left his brain.  It was like all his nerve endings came alive everywhere Loki pressed into him, under the fingertips that tangled in his hair and wandered to his neck and shoulders.  Loki’s touch made his knees weak, and the way his tongue felt curled around his own was beyond words. Thor's mouth began to cover Loki with ravenous kisses, on his mouth, his face, and his neck. It was an explosion of lust and feeling and Thor could not stop himself.

Thor's hands began to hungrily explore Loki's body while he continued to cover him with kisses. He slid his hands up inside Loki's shirt, feeling the smooth skin of his back. He grabbed the nape of his neck with one hand while the other began to slide down Loki's back, into his jeans. 

Loki gasped again, his mind reeling.  _Is this really be happening?  Thor’s obviously interested, the evidence insistently pressing into my thigh!   I should probably say something_ , Loki thought, but he quickly lost it again as Thor suddenly brought his arm down, around his knees and swept him up, effortlessly carrying him to the bedroom, kissing him senseless the whole time. 

“Thor…” Loki tried again, as he was laid out on the bed, but his thoughts became a jumble once again as Thor straddled him, never breaking his stream of kisses.  He fumbled with the buttons of Loki’s shirt, his hands shaking all the while, until he opened it, laying him bare.   Thor ran his fingers over Loki’s torso, seemingly wanting to memorize every curve and plane, his gentle touch a contrast from his insistent mouth.  Loki let his hands wander over Thor’s body, reveling in the feel of Thor’s breath on his skin as he grazed his lips over Loki’s collarbone, content to let the other man explore.  But, when Thor grazed his fingertips over Loki’s nipples, Loki arched his back, a jolt of heady desire shooting through him.  He suddenly needed to feel Thor’s bare skin over his, heat and desire pooling in his belly as he tugged at Thor’s shirt.  Through some unspoken signal, they separated and quickly removed the rest of their clothes, roughly coming together when they were completely naked, their kisses becoming rough, messy and more insistent, tongues entwining, battling back and forth for dominance.   Thor leaned on Loki, using his weight to push him down on the bed, eagerly straddling him once again, rutting against him, attempting to gain as much friction as possible against Loki’s body.    Loki writhed beneath him, lost in the feel of the larger man all over him.  Thor was touching and kissing him everywhere, seemingly lost in the sensations of just being together, but Loki knew he needed to take the reins.  He reached between their bodies, closing his hand around his partner’s shaft and giving an experimental pull.  Thor suddenly stilled and for a moment, and Loki thought it was all over, but instead he threw his head back and let out a low groan that Loki felt like a jolt of lightning, straight to his groin.  When he focused on Loki again, it was with wide lust-filled eyes, pupils dilated with desire.  Loki reveled in the feel of slippery warmth that seemed to fit his hand perfectly.  He pumped his hand up and down over Thor’s cock, slicked with pre-come, allowing him movement with ease, his gaze never leaving Thor’s, wanting to see every reaction.  He was smugly gratified when he swiped his thumb over the slit, and Thor’s eyes rolled back.  “Oh God, Loki!  Yes!” he muttered as his mouth came down and roughly covered Loki in a hungry kiss, his hips pushing him into Loki’s fist.  Loki stopped for a moment, eliciting a surprised moan from Thor, only to line both their cocks together, and wrapped his long thin fingers around both of them, then continued his movement.    And, oh yes, that felt _SO_ good.    The slickness from both of their arousals made for easy movement and soon, they were both panting, hardly able to catch their breaths.  Thor then reached down and, tentatively, wrapped his hand around them as well, and the sight of both their hands on their dicks was almost more than Loki could bear.  Thor’s hand joined in the movement, tentatively at first.  It took a few tries but when they found their rhythm it rapidly built to a crescendo.  _This isn’t going to last.  I’m not going to last!_ Loki thought.  Not when he felt like this is what he’d been waiting for forever, but he willed himself to hold back, panting and moaning with the strain.  Moments later, Thor arched his back and ground his hips down on his as he came all over their joined hands, emitting a low growl, sounding almost surprised.  Loki buried his face in the crook of Thor’s neck as he felt the other man’s spasms slowly subside.  Thor’s hand convulsively tightened around their still joined cocks, and that was enough to push Loki over the edge as well, his orgasm hitting him like a sledgehammer, his own come mingling with Thor’s.

Thor slowly rolled off of him, and lay next to Loki, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes, both eyebrows arched, the picture of a man who’s just been spectacularly surprised.  Loki gazed at him warily, wondering what his reaction would be.  They lay like this for a moment, then Thor’s eyes drifted down to their naked bodies, to their hands still intertwined, to their semen cooling on their skin, his expression unreadable. 

This seemed to snap Loki to action. “Don’t move, I’ll be right back” he said walking into the bathroom.  _Oh My God!  What did I just do?_   He berated himself as he quickly cleaned himself up.   _I took advantage of the situation, and possibly ruined a great friendship, and for what?_  ( _well, for REALLY great sex_ a part of his brain insisted.)  _I should have been the bigger man and controlled myself,_ he told himself sternly as he finished the cleanup.  _I should go in there and take full responsibility, face whatever consequences there are_    But as he thought this, his mind flashed back to Thor’s face, skin flushed, his half-closed eyes filled with lust and wonder.  God, he looked gorgeous!  Seemingly of their own volition, his own fingers traced tingling paths on his skin as he began to get lost in the memory.  _Stop it!_   He told himself, jolting back to the here-and-now.  Time to face the music. 

He returned to the bedroom with a couple of towels to find Thor just as he left him.  He proceeded to methodically clean him up, wiping his torso and taking care to thoroughly clean his hand.  He kept his gaze down, intent on his task, aware of Thor’s eyes on him.  Neither one said anything, both lost in their own thoughts.  When Loki finished, he tossed the towels to the floor and sat on the edge of the bed with his back to Thor, at a loss on what to say first.  His thoughts were suddenly diverted when he felt Thor’s arm snake around his waist and pull him back and down, towards his chest, enveloping him in an embrace.  Loki, who had tensed his body in surprise, slowly began to relax and melt into the warmth of the larger man’s body against his back.  Thor reached out and pulled the comforter over the both of them as he placed a soft kiss behind Loki’s ear.  _Okay,_ Loki thought as he drifted off to sleep _So… new plan?  I guess we can talk tomorrow_.

. o O o .

The flurry of movement all around him finally roused Thor from sleep.  As he slowly took in his surroundings, he saw Loki, fully dressed, moving around the room, haphazardly stuffing clothes into a gym bag.  Confusion quickly turned to panic as he recalled their activity from the previous night.  Did Loki regret it?  Was he running away?  "What's going on, Loki?” Thor said nervously, sitting up.  “Where are you going?"  Loki stopped what he was doing and quickly turned towards Thor.

“Shit!  Sorry!” Loki said sheepishly “I didn’t mean to wake you.  I’ve just gotta get out of here,” he said smiling sadly.  “Go back to sleep.”

 _Oh my god, he’s leaving me!_ Thor’s mind kept saying as he felt the hammering of his heart all the way in his throat. “Loki, what – “ He said, half-rising from the bed before realizing he was still naked.  He quickly sat back down, pulling up the sheet, suddenly feeling modest.

"N-no Thor! It's not like that!” Loki said, realizing what he must have sounded like.  He stopped what he was doing and faced his partner.  “I just got a message from my sister.  She's having a bit of a crisis and I need to help her out.” He said, zipping his duffel bag and slinging it over his shoulder as he moved towards the bed.  “I'll be back tomorrow.” He said, reaching out to Thor hesitantly, unsure, then finally settling on patting his shoulder.  “We’ll talk then, okay?” He said, smiling.

Thor simply nodded in agreement, holding back a million questions, not trusting his own voice to work properly.  Loki hesitated at the door, seemingly wanting to say more.  In the end, he just waved and walked out.  Thor listened to his footsteps until he heard the front door open and close.  It was going to be a long day.

. o O o .

 _At least traffic won’t be bad_ , Loki thought as he navigated the 15 freeway on the way to Las Vegas.  Leaving this early could ensure that his trip would be as short as possible.  _The sooner I can sort Darcy’s shit out, the sooner I can go back home_ , he thought angrily.  His sister’s call couldn’t have come at a worst time.  He had been lying in the dark, gazing at Thor’s sleeping form, wondering at the events that had led them there, when his phone had buzzed.

 ** _Need your help! Asshole landlord wants me out!_** Her text had read.

 ** _How much?_** He’d texted, back, resigning himself to losing yet another big chunk of money because of his sister.

 ** _No $.  Says Im bad tenant!  Please come!  Ian and I both need you!_** She’d answered. 

Loki had gritted his teeth in frustration.  She knew to play the Ian card when she wanted something from him, knowing he’d never refuse when it came to his nephew.  **_OK, B thr in 5 hrs_**   He typed out, before getting up, with a regretful glance back at Thor.  Not for the first time, Loki wondered what Darcy had done to incur that kind of reaction from her landlord.  Even without having the whole story, Loki knew Darcy was somehow to blame.  He knew she’d been on a downward spiral for a few months now, but he’d turned a blind eye, hoping she would straighten herself out.  Selfishly, he didn’t want to have to deal with it.  He’d been in San Diego for only nine months, at his new job for only six.  This was supposed to be a new start for him.  A chance to finally begin his own life.  Darcy falling off the wagon again was going to complicate things.  _I just need to remind her about her responsibility to Ian,_ He thought resolutely, sure that that would help.  The sooner he straightened her out, the sooner he could get back to his life, such as it was.

An involuntary shiver ran down his spine as Loki recalled the previous night’s events.  The way Thor had looked, his skin flushed with arousal as he gazed at Loki, lust and wonderment both present in his eyes, had taken his breath away.  Before Darcy’s text had taken him away, Loki had been both dreading and anticipating the conversation he knew he’d have to have with Thor.  Even now, alone in his car, Loki felt himself blush as he relived the moment when he realized Thor was admitting his attraction to him.  _He’d wanted something to happen!_   He thought, a weird nervous clench tightening in his stomach.  But does he feel the same today?  Does he regret anything?  These questions nagged at him as he sped along the highway, chugging his fully leaded cup of coffee.  Yep, the sooner he could get back, the better.

. o O o .

At the precinct, Thor was getting nothing done.  No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't concentrate to save his life. At every turn, he was reminded of Loki and what had transpired between them. Had they made a terrible mistake? Would they be able to work together? Was he _in love_ with Loki?  He was roused from his thoughts by his ex-partner, Clint.

“Now I see why you defected from Narcotics.”  Clint mocked, nudging his friend’s shoulder as he walked past his desk.  “All you guys do down here is daydream!  Let us Narcs do the real work.”

Thor smiled.  Since moving to this new department, he didn’t see Clint as often as he’d like, and he missed working with the jokester.  “Part of the job is cerebral, you know!”  Thor called after him.  Clint slowed down as a thought occurred to him.

“Hey, stick around, I wanna pick your brain regarding the case on the Castillo brothers” he said as we continued walking backwards out of the room.

“Sure thing, Thor said absently.  He felt restless and antsy all morning.  He couldn’t seem to sit still or keep a coherent thought in his head.  He finally got up from his desk after re-reading a case file for the umpteenth time, not retaining a word of it.  In an effort to re-focus and get his brain back on track, he went into the deserted break room.  He poured himself a coffee and took a seat in the comfy old chair in the corner that everyone coveted.  _Okay, focus!_   He told himself as he closed his eyes.  He began to make a mental list of the facts of the case he was working on, trying to get some work done.  Soon, though, his thoughts wandered to last night.  He thought of Loki's body beneath him, and the sensation of their naked skin together.  The feeling had been the most intoxicating thing Thor had ever experienced. The way Loki had handled his body had driven him crazy. But it was more than just the sex. It was the fact that Loki had wanted him, desired him. He trusted him, not only with his body, but with his life. He’d never felt connected to someone like this before.

“Argh!”  Thor growled in frustration, as he fisted his hair with both hands.  At this rate, he’d never get any work done.  Making a quick decision, he hurried to his desk and grabbed his keys and coat.

“Hey, where are you going?” Clint, asked as Thor passed him in the hall.  “What about my case?”

“Working from home today” he said hurriedly as he walked out.  “Call me later, I might have some info for you.”

“Yeah, right”.  Clint snorted.  “Sneaking away for a quickie with your girlfriend doesn’t qualify as work!”

Thor ignored the comment as the elevator door closed.  Reminders of Loki were everywhere in the precinct, and his presence was VERY apparent in the condo.  He needed a change of scenery, and thought his apartment – his regular apartment – would be the ideal place to get some work done.


	16. Chapter 16

“I wasn’t aware that lunch came with a side of lecture” Darcy said with a roll of her eyes.  She and Loki were sitting across from each other at a kitschy diner near the Las Vegas Strip.  After an exhausting meeting with Darcy’s landlord (And a rather sizeable additional security deposit from Loki) he had agreed to let Darcy and Ian stay in their apartment.  “Besides, I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true!” For the past half-hour, Loki had been trying to get through to his sister, trying to get her to realize her behavior had to change.

“Darcy, you basically called the man a pervert!  Loki said, frustrated.  “You can’t just run your mouth off and insult people for your enjoyment!” 

“Oh come on!” Darcy said with a laugh.  “The man shows up at my doorstep at seven o’clock in the morning!  Why would he do that unless he was trying to get a glimpse of the girls?” She said, thrusting her chest out and wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Because you were 15 days late with the rent!” Loki hissed angrily.  “And because you hadn’t been answering your phone!” Darcy merely huffed, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked away, pouting.  Loki rubbed his hands over his face, the rest of his lunch growing cold in front of him.  “Darcy, why hadn’t you paid the rent?  You make more than enough money…” He took a deep breath as he continued.  “I saw Mrs. Bailey in the parking lot when I got to your place.” He finally said.

Even though she didn’t turn to look at him, Darcy flinched at his words “Jesus Christ!  Of all the apartments in Vegas, I had to find the one with the nosiest neighbors!” She retorted, trying to mask her guilt as she shakily picked up her coffee cup to take a sip.  Mrs. Bailey was currently watching Ian and had been watching him on the nights when Darcy went out partying, an occurrence that was happening more and more of late.  “Whatever she told you, she’s exaggerating!  I’m just having a little fun.  Ian’s fine, he’s being taken care of.”  She said, full of bravado. “Fine, if she doesn’t want to watch him anymore, I can find someone else!” She said, waving off the waitress coming towards them with more coffee.  “Being a mother doesn’t mean I can’t live my life, you know.  But I _am_ all alone now, what with you off in San Diego living your _big gay fantasy life_ , with dance clubs, ‘brunch with the girls’, a different hot stud every night—“

“Really?” Loki said incredulously. “ _That’s_ what you think my life is like?” He continued _.  I will not let her bait me, or make me feel guilty!_ He told himself resolutely as he downed his coffee, trying to remain calm.  “Darce, you know me better than that.  I’m really worried about Ian.  He’s only three” he said quietly.  “Don’t you remember our childhood?  Remember mom?” He said, looking her square in the eye.  He hated having to play the _bad mom_ card, but desperate times call for desperate measures. 

“I’m _not_ mom!” She said forcefully, but he could see that his words had had an effect on her.  She darted her gaze back and forth, looking around the restaurant, anywhere but at Loki.

“Then prove it and be there for your kid!” Loki said, leaning forward to give his words more weight.  He stared at her intently, willing her to look at him.  When she finally did, it was with tears in her eyes. 

“I really do love him, you know,” Darcy said in a small voice, searching Loki’s eyes for some understanding.

“I know you do,” Loki said with a small smile, reaching out to grasp his sister’s hands. “Come on,” He said with finality, wanting to lighten the mood. “Let’s go.” He dropped some money on the table and stood up, pulling her with him “I’ve gotta get going and I want to spend some time with my nephew before I go.” 

They arrived at Darcy’s apartment and thanked Mrs. Bailey’s for staying with Ian.  “Hey kiddo, we’re home!” She called out when the older woman had left.  A moment later, Ian came barreling down the hall at her yelling enthusiastically.  “Momma!  Look what I maked!” He said, as Darcy scooped him up and he rewarded her with a messy kiss.

“Hey buddy,” Darcy said, cuddling him “Were you good for Mrs. Bailey?” She said, giving him all her attention.

“Yes!” He said with a huge smile.  “I’s good n’ she gived me colors!”  He thrust the piece of paper at her face.  It was covered with what looked like all kinds of color scribbles.

“Wow!  And you made that for me?” Darcy asked, peering at the paper.

“No!” Ian said, sounding insulted.  “I maked it for daddy!” He said, taking the paper back and clutching it to his chest.  “You say he coming, momma”

Even though her back was to Loki, he could see her flinch at the boy’s words.  Loki, who had been standing quietly off to the side watching the two interact, reacted with a start.  “Wait, what?” he said confused, stepping forward.  At hearing him, Ian suddenly noticed Loki’s presence. 

“Daddy!” He said, scrambling out of his mother’s arms and running over to Loki, reaching his arms up, asking to be picked up.  Loki automatically reached down and picked the boy up, hugging him to his chest, all the while staring at Darcy with a completely baffled look on his face.

_Daddy?!?!_ Loki mouthed at his sister, a frown on his face. She only waved her hand at him, shaking her head as she desperately tried to stifle her giggles threatening to escape her mouth.

“Hey… Hey Ian,” Loki said hesitantly, interrupting the toddler’s constant babble of what was drawn on the page.  I’m your Uncle Loki, remember?  Last time I was here?  We went to the park?  Saw the ducks?” Loki’s words faded off as he regarded Ian’s stern expression.

“No, y’re daddy,” he said sternly, hitting Loki’s chest with the palm of his chubby hand as he spoke.  “Momma said”  He looked up at Loki and his little face was scrunched up in what could only be described as an annoyed frown.  Loki was surprised to realize he’d sometimes seen that same expression in the mirror.

“Hey kiddo, why don’t you go draw _daddy_ another picture while we talk in the kitchen, ok?” Darcy said, peeling the boy off her relieved brother.  Ian looked up at Loki, still frowning suspiciously.  “You can have a cook-ie…” She said in a sing-song voice, pulling a little ziploc bag of Oreos out of her purse and handing him one

“kay,” Ian said, grabbing the cookie and running towards his room again.

So would you mind explaining all that?” Loki said, grabbing Darcy’s arm and dragging her towards the kitchen.  “I mean, if its not too much trouble!”  he finished sarcastically.

“Oh calm down!” Darcy laughed.  “It’s no big deal.  A couple of weeks ago, some kids at his daycare were talking about their dads.” As she spoke, she opened the refrigerator and reached for a beer.  Seemingly feeling Loki’s hard stare on her, she changed her course and brought out 2 kid’s juice boxes instead.  “He came home asking _who_ his dad was, and _where_ his dad was.  I wasn’t going to tell him about his real loser father, so I chose the closest male role model I could find. He remembered you, remembered what a good time you’d had, so the connection wasn’t hard to make.” She grinned at him as she handed him a juice box.

If he hadn’t already been leaning against the wall, Loki might have needed a chair to collapse into.  Being around Darcy was always so exhausting.  “What about when he figures it out?” He said, looking at her with a tired, fond expression.  “He’s pretty smart, you know.  What if this lie screws him up psychologically or something… “

Juice flew out her mouth as Darcy sputtered out a laugh.  “He’s _three!_   He’ll be fine!” she said, still laughing. “Look, just go with it, okay?  The worst that’ll happen is you’ll get a couple of cards on father’s day.”  The smile disappeared from her face when she saw Loki’s worried expression.  “It’ll be fine.  For now, let him have this to share with the other kids.  If there’s fallout for it… I’ll deal with it.” She said, patting his arm reassuringly, wearing a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes.  Loki was about to say something else but she shut him down with a look.  Come on, she said, smacking him on the arm.  Lets go see what your _son_ made for you now”, she said with a wink, walking towards Ian’s room. 

As he followed behind her, Loki tried to stamp out a sense of dread growing in his gut.  He knew his sister’s problems weren’t going to be fixed in a day, and he knew this would get worse before it got better.  “Hey, when did you start carrying cookies in your purse?” Loki said, deciding to play along with the denial for now.

“Since I learned you can’t bribe a three-year-old with cold hard cash!” Darcy said laughing. 

They wound up having w nice afternoon together, the three enjoying each other’s company.  Loki stayed and helped put Ian to bed, promising the boy that he’d be back as soon as he could.  He tried talking to Darcy again as she walked him to the door, but again, she cut him off.  “Look, we’re fine.” She said to him, giving him a big hug.  “I really appreciate that you came all the way out here for me.  For us.” She amended.  “Thanks for bailing me out, and I promise to get my shit together!” She said, with mock-solemnity, placing her right hand on her chest. 

“I’m always here when you need me, you know” Loki said, peering into her eyes searchingly.

“Yeah, just not tonight, right?”  She said with a sly smile.

“What? I told you I’m working on a pretty important case.”  The blush that slowly crept up Loki’s face was a dead giveaway even if his words were casual.

“Please,” his sister scoffed “You’ve been checking your phone every couple of minutes, you’ve been distracted, losing your train of thought, and this…” she indicated to his blush “has been happening off and on all day when you get this dopey dreamy look on your face!  That doesn’t happen for ‘an important case’!”  She laughed at his shocked expression.  “Come on, don’t look so surprised.  I’m happy you’re finally getting laid!” She said, hugging his arm as she held his hand, as they walked out the building. 

“Darcy!” Loki said, admonishing her with a look.  “Its just – we’re not – I mean, its not…” 

“Hey, no judgement,” His sister said with a roll of her eyes.  “Why’re you being so uptight?  Its not like we haven’t talked about your sex life before.  What, is it a secret?” she said, excitedly, suddenly stopping their progress to Loki’s car as she turned to face him.  “He’s married!  No, he’s… he’s an important official… no he’s a cop!  A coworker!”

“Jesus, Darcy!  What are you, a witch?” Loki muttered, continuing towards his car, as his sister skipped along behind him. 

“I’m right!” She squealed.  “Who is it?  Is he working on this case with you?  Is he closeted?  Ooh, is he hot?”

The disarming beep of Loki’s car alarm finally stopped her barrage of questions. “Look, Darcy” Loki said, opening the door and standing behind it, using it as a barrier against his sister.  “There is… someone.  Maybe...  I don’t know… It’s… complicated.  I’m just not ready to talk about it yet.”  He regarded his sister’s pouting face and smiled. “But I promise, as soon as there’s any dirt to share, I’ll call you, okay?”  He walked around his door and hugged her tightly once more. 

“Fine,” she said resignedly. “But I’d better get that call, Or Ian and I’ll be knocking at your door demanding information!”  She giggled when she saw Loki’s involuntary wince at her very credible threat.

“I promise” he said finally. “Go back inside.  Ian might wake up and look for you.”  And with that, he got in his car, rolling down the window to wave as he began to drive away.

“I love you!  Drive safe!” Darcy called out as he drove away.  Loki repeated her words, but wasn’t sure she had heard them from the distance.


	17. Chapter 17

As soon as he entered his apartment, Thor breathed in, expecting to feel the comfort of home.  Instead, he felt a slight detachment.  It seemed like his space, only from a long time ago.  As if these things belonged to a different guy, the one from BEFORE last night.  This brought him up short, as he realized he wouldn’t be able to just push what happened last night aside. 

He slowly sat at his desk, absently tapping at the keys of his computer, trying to make sense of all the memories of last night, jumbled in his brain.  What had he been thinking, grabbing Loki like that?  At that moment, he had been enraged at the idea that the other man might be under attack, and at the thought that, if he had been just a minute later, Loki might have been hurt.  If he was honest with himself, though, the anger stemmed from more than just that.  He also felt jealousy.  Jealous of any other person putting his hands on Loki, laying claim over what was Thor’s.  _Why_ did he feel this way?  He hadn’t planned on it or entertained being with a man, yet, now allowing the memories of last night to come flooding back, he admitted that he had enjoyed it VERY much.  He felt no shame, regret or remorse.  In fact, as he remembered Loki’s naked form and beautiful face flushed with arousal, all he could think of was _I want more of that_.  Last night with Loki was the closest he’d ever been with another man, yet he knew it could be more.  But what more?  He had some vague ideas, but nothing concrete.  _Research!_   He thought as he looked down at his computer.  But what to look for?  Where to begin?  He stared at his screen for a moment, then typed **men sex**.  The results weren’t very helpful to him, just a lot of sites dealing with men’s health and intimacy with women.  He already knew about _that_.   He thought for a second, then modified his search words to **gay men sex** and clicked on the Google Video tab.  Oh what a difference one word made.  Suddenly his screen was filled with still images of videos.  Videos of naked men with naked men.  Thor pushed himself away from his desk, as if he’d received an electric shock.   He quickly glanced around the room guiltily, almost as if expecting to see someone else in the room.  He huffed out a laugh as he ran a hand over his face.  _Get a hold of yourself,_ he mumbled as he scooted his chair back.  _Nothing going on here, just doing some browsing_ ” He told himself.  Thor squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and clicked on the first video his mouse landed on.  Suddenly, his screen was filled with an image of 5 (or 6, he wasn’t really sure) big sweaty naked men, sucking and fucking each other all at the same time, moaning and yelling.  _Oh my god!_   Thor gasped as he slammed his computer closed and jumped out of his chair.  He closed his eyes, attempting to calm himself down.  His heart was beating quickly, and he was having trouble breathing, well on the way to a panic attack.  _What the fuck am I doing?!?_   He thought to himself as he willed himself to stop shaking.  He’d watched porn before, but he’d never seen anything like _that_.  He sat back down and replayed the few seconds he’d watched in his mind, remembering all the bodies (MALE bodies!) intertwined together.  Did that hurt?  Was that safe?  Were those guys actually enjoying themselves?  Okay, so maybe this wasn’t for him?  Those scenes didn’t arouse or intrigue him.  Rather, they downright scared him!  Thor gazed at his closed laptop and thought of what he and Loki had done the night before, and remembered how it had made him feel.  Those memories helped him decide to try again.  He didn’t want an orgy, he just wanted to be close to Loki, and he wanted to see what was out there. 

He tried again, opening his laptop with great care, as if afraid of something jumping out of it.  He brought up his browser again, which still showed the video of the orgy, paused at a particularly graphic scene.  Thor hit the back button, taking him back to the list of videos.  He began scrolling through the entries, his hand _definitely_ not shaking, no sir.   He scanned the images, picking out words as he willed himself to calm down.  He tentatively clicked on a picture showing two men kissing and relaxed some as he saw it was just one couple.  As he watched, the two nude men kissed passionately, their fully erect cocks rubbing against each other.  Thor watched intently, reminded of his own activities from the previous night.  He watched for a few moments, then went back and clicked on a different video, this one showing two men mutually sucking each other off.  He watched moments from several videos, at first still shocked at the fact that he was watching men, but after a while, stopped registering this, and lost himself in the images he was watching, imagining himself and Loki in the scenes.  What would Loki’s mouth feel like on his cock?  What would Loki taste like?  Could he touch Loki like that?  Would he allow Loki to touch _him_ like that?  As he pondered these things, he became more and more aroused, wishing his partner was back from his sister’s.  He became especially interested in one particular video, where a larger muscular blonde man fucked a beautiful slender brunet.  The men on the screen were rough with each other, and their moans and noises sounded somewhat fake, but Thor was intrigued.  He imagined the two of them like that, in that position and realized that he would definitely like to try that.

He became lost in his internet browser for a couple of hours, until his ringing phone brought him back to reality. 

“Hey asshole, I thought you were gonna help me with the Castillo file!”  Clint bellowed into the phone.

“Sorry.  Think I fell asleep for a while.”  Thor said, surprised that his voice sounded a bit raspy.

“This WAS originally your case remember?  I took it over outa the kindness of my heart and this is the gratitude I get?”  Clint retorted, but Thor could hear the smile in his voice, so he knew they were okay.

“No, I haven’t forgotten.  I’ve just got a pretty full workload myself, you know!”  Thor responded, as he shut down his computer and stood.  “I’m just heading back to the precinct.  See you in a few”

“Yeah, I’ve heard.”  Clint laughed.  “Living in the lap of luxury, all expenses paid in some ritzy condo.  Must be tough.  My heart bleeds for you!  You can tell me all about your hardship.  Oh, and you can tell me all about married life too!”  He said as he hung up.

“Damn,” Thor thought as he put his phone back in his pocket and walked out of his apartment.

. o O o .

After his meeting with Clint, the rest of the day was filled with mundane tasks.  The day seemed endless, and Thor resisted the urge to text Loki to see how things were going. Or more importantly, to find out when he was coming back.  His mind kept wandering to what he’d seen earlier in the day.  Once the initial shock had worn off, he had watched several clips, with varying degrees of interest.  Some he had quickly clicked off, blushing like a school girl at some of the acts, but others he had lingered on, fascinated and aroused by what he saw. 

As he made his way home that evening, Thor was almost giddy with excitement.  After watching the videos, he felt he had a veritable treasure trove of things he wanted to try with Loki.  He imagined the conversation they’d share, Thor telling him of the things he’d seen, asking if he’d done them before or if he’d like to try… maybe getting Loki’s take on his preferences… he couldn’t wait to share this new knowledge with him.  But as he reached the condo, he became filled with a sense of dread of its impending emptiness. As he walked toward the door, he began second-guessing himself.  Last night, he had initiated their contact, and Loki had been more than willing, but who’s to say if Loki wanted to continue?  What if this was nothing more than a convenient one-time way to get off?  Maybe he was reading way more into this than there was.  After all, this was just a result of his idle curiosity (he kept telling himself).  Maybe Loki saw it that way too. 

Okay, he was overthinking this waaaay too much.  He decided to make an early night of it, despite a note on the door, inviting them to yet another soirée. He thought, the men would not want him without Loki anyway.  And he could not bear the thought of trying to make conversation feeling the way he did.

 He lay on the unmade bed, the tousled sheets a reminder of the previous night's passion. He closed his eyes, and found himself leaning into Loki's pillow. He caught a whiff of Loki's scent and felt immediately aroused. He grasped the pillow tightly and allowed himself the illusion of holding Loki himself, feeling himself harden as he imagined himself and the other man in one of the many fantasies that had been running through his head.  He reached down and palmed himself through his jeans as he pictured Loki’s face, eyes ablaze with determination as he flashed him a knowing grin.   _His hands travelling confidently over Thor’s body as he leaned in, laugh rumbling low in his chest as he darted his tongue out to lick a stripe up Thor’s jaw, reaching his mouth and capturing it in a deep kiss, while all the while his hands travel lower, barely grazing over the skin of Thor’s stomach, slowly driving the larger man crazy.  Thor moaned as he imagined Loki laughing softly, knowing exactly what his touches were doing.  He imagined Loki reaching lower, cupping Thor’s cock through his pants, wrapping his fingers around the length, while whispering the things he wanted to do in filthy detail, before dragging his mouth down over Thor’s skin, licking and tasting as he went lower, until reaching his cock._

_Thor clumsily undid his pants, hastily pulling his erection out of his pants as he concentrated on the scene unfolding in his mind._

_Loki would mouth Thor’s cock over his jeans, while undoing his fly, teasing him until finally freeing it, pulling his jeans down and taking Thor in his mouth in one smooth motion.  Thor imagined giving up all control to Loki, threading his fingers through Loki’s raven hair, losing himself in the hot, wet sensation of Loki’s talented mouth.  Loki would know exactly how much pressure to use, when to use more suction, and even the barest hint of teeth.  He would bob his head up and down, instinctively knowing what felt best to Thor.  He would flatten his tongue along the smooth underside and hold Thor’s cock still, wrapped in the hot wet heat of his mouth before moving again, creating that wonderful wet friction._

_Thor was thrusting his hips upward more insistently, his hand wrapped around his shaft as he imagined looking down and seeing Loki’s full lips wrapped around his cock.  It was with that image in mind that that Thor spilled all over his hand, waves of pleasure stealing his breath as his climax rolled through him in waves.   As he gradually came down from his orgasm, h_ e marveled at the fact that he had crossed a boundary he had never imagined crossing.  He reached out to grab a tissue from the box he’d conveniently placed on the nightstand, cleaning himself off as he smiled to himself.  _Well, whatever this is, there’s no going back now_ _._   He thought to himself as he lay back down on the bed, putting himself back into his pants.  _I guess we should see where this takes us,_ was his last thought as he drifted off to sleep.

It was two in the morning when Thor heard the front door opening, his first instinct was to reach for his gun, but then he saw a familiar silhouette outlined in the doorway. He immediately turned on the lights. Loki looked at him, surprised to be caught sneaking in.

"Loki, I didn't expect you tonight." Thor said, smiling.

"I told my sister I had to work in the morning, so I just drove five hours. Are you still wearing your jacket?"

Thor looked down at himself, remembering he’d never taken off his street clothes. It made him laugh that Loki would interrupt his conversation to observe this fact.

"Yeah, I guess I was a bit tired."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, no, please! I'm glad you're back."

Loki stood quietly looking at Thor. Finally he spoke in a soft tone.

"Really?  Are you?” He said hesitantly.  “I’ve been thinking, and..." Thor felt his heart in his throat as he wondered what Loki would say next ”I wonder if maybe I forced you to do something you didn't want to do."

Loki stood nervously waiting for Thor's reaction. Thor stood up from the bed and walked slowly towards Loki. He brought his hand up to Loki's lip and allowed his thumb to trace its edge softly, lovingly. He looked into Loki's eyes which glistened with emotion. He then brought his own lips down to rub against Loki's. Both men relaxed and submerged into a tender kiss and embrace which reassured them they both felt the same way.

“I missed you so much!” Thor confessed between kisses.  “The day felt endless without you” As he spoke he trailed kisses down Loki’s jaw, his ear, down his neck.

Loki sighed contentedly as he tilted his head, giving Thor better access to his neck.  As he began to lose himself to the feeling of Thor’s soft lips and hot breath on his skin, he suddenly remembered where he’d been for the past 5 hours.

“Thor, wait… let me… “He stuttered, as he tried to form coherent sentences.  “I’ve been on the road for hours… I’m sweaty and dirty…” he said as he attempted to push Thor away, admittedly, with very little force.  His mind may be telling him he needed a shower, but his body didn’t seem to have any qualms about Thor’s wandering hands.

“Don’t care” Thor muttered as he continued to nuzzle and kiss Loki all over, his increasingly insistent hands pulling up and untucking Loki’s shirt and undershirt, until he reached the skin of his back, which he continued caressing.  As if to prove his point, he bent his head and leaned in, pressing his nose to the hollow of Loki’s throat and inhaling deeply, emitting a long, low moan of pleasure when he exhaled.  “You smell amazing” he said in a low voice that sent a shock of pleasure through Loki, and, _God Yes!  That’s Amazing_!  Loki was tempted to just push Thor on the bed and indulge in every fantasy he had had today (it HAD been a long drive, after all) but his modesty won out.  This thing between him and Thor was so new, he didn’t want to be seen in a negative light. 

 _I need to pull myself together before this gets out of hand_ , he thought distractedly, as Thor continued to place slow open-mouthed kisses at his neck.  He grabbed Thor’s wandering hands by the wrists just as they crept under the waistband of his jeans and, _hello?  When did he unbutton my jeans?_   He thought a bit frantically.  So much for worrying about Thor’s regrets.  He was completely engrossed in exploring Loki’s body, eagerly touching and caressing, seemingly wanting to memorize every inch, no sign of hesitation, not to mention his hard length pressed against Loki’s thigh. 

“Thor, I n-need to… to clean up… just… just let me take a quick shower”, Loki sighed, the last word coming as a whisper as Thor softly bit down on his shoulder.  Loki’s legs weakened as he felt Thor’s tongue over the sensitive area he’d just bitten.

Thor looked into Loki’s eyes and attempted a very serious business-like expression.  “Okay, I can help with that.”  He said, but his face broke into a beautiful smile before he even finished the sentence, showing his playfulness.  Loki felt his heart clench in his chest.  _God, I love this guy_ , he thought suddenly.  _Where had THAT come from?!?_   He stared back into Thor’s smiling blue eyes and was seized with a moment of panic.  WAS he falling in love?  This could be VERY bad! 

Thor’s expression turned serious as he read the emotions in Loki’s eyes.  “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable” he said, loosening his grip on Loki, but not completely letting go.  “If you want your privacy I c-“ 

His words were cut off by Loki who launched himself at the larger man, kissing him deeply, opening his mouth and searching out his tongue and entwining it with his own.  Up until this point, he had been a somewhat passive participant in this encounter, being cautious with his actions, wondering where this was going, afraid of his rapidly growing feelings for his partner, but upon seeing doubt flicker in those beautiful blue eyes, he thought _What the hell am I doing?  I have this gorgeous man who wants to join me in the shower!_ ”  He could ponder his feelings later.  Now, he had to get Thor naked.

Loki grasped the edge of Thor’s shirt and pulled it over his head, briefly separating their mouths, all the while pushing Thor backwards, towards their bathroom and shower. 

Of all the amenities in their opulent condo, Loki loved the extra-large shower the best.  Practically a small room in itself, the beautifully tiled space had a massive shower head above accompanied by sprays coming out of three walls that made a shower a truly luxurious experience.  Thor turned and stooped to turn on the water, allowing Loki a moment of distraction as he admired the view.  Once again Loki briefly wondered just exactly what he was doing here.  With Thor.  What they were doing together.  His thoughts were soon chased away as Thor stood before him, all sinewy muscles and golden skin.  _Beautiful_ , Loki thought, as Thor pulled him into the shower, under the warm water.  Thor resumed his kisses, moving along Loki’s neck and jaw, taking full advantage of their lack of clothing to travel down his chest, dragging his lips lightly over his skin, holding Loki tightly by the waist as he picked him up slightly, giving him better access.  Loki was panting heavily now, not caring how loud he as being as he lost himself in the sensation of the warm breath mingling on his skin with the hot water.  He gave a cry as Thor took his nipple in his mouth, sucking insistently, just this side of painful.  Loki arched his back, pressing his achingly hard cock against Thor’s as Thor’s hands traveled lower and grasped his ass encouragingly. 

“You know, I’m not getting very clean this way,” Loki said breathlessly, grinning as he looked down at Thor. 

Thor laughed as he stood up to his full height, and reached around Loki to grab the soap.  “And I did say I’d help you with that” he said, still smiling.     He rubbed the soap between his palms, creating a thick lather that he began to rub over Loki’s body, a move that Loki soon mirrored.  Thor’s movements slowed, as he explored Loki’s body, his touch seeming almost reverent.  As much as Loki reveled in touching Thor’s body, he held back a bit, allowing Thor to set the pace, allowing him access to as little or as much as he wanted.  Thor moved around him, tracing fingers over his shoulders and down his arms, around Loki’s waist as he stood behind him, reaching around to grasp Loki’s cock.  He moved his fist back and forth, his soapy grip creating an exquisite sensation.  Loki closed his eyes and threw his head back onto Thor’s shoulder and pressed into his warm hard body.  He could feel Thor’s hardness on his ass and pressed back, allowing him whatever access he wanted.  The hand on his cock stuttered a bit, and Loki thought maybe he’d gone too far. 

“I… I… I don’t really know… “Thor stuttered, clearly very aroused but not certain what to do with the opportunity that presented itself.  “I… I mean, I want this… just don’t know… how…” 

Loki turned his head and pulled Thor’s face down for a deep kiss, in an effort to calm and reassure him.  “Don’t worry” he whispered to the larger man.  “This,” he said as he pressed his ass meaningfully against Thor’s erection “can be a project for another day.”  Loki then shifted his body until Thor’s cock was between his thighs.  Thor made a soft surprised sound as he felt the head of it nudge against Loki’s balls as the slighter man moved his hips back and forth a couple of times.  Thor was momentarily stunned.  He had NEVER even imagined anything like this before!  He quickly recovered as, with a moan, he crowded over Loki, pressing his hands onto the shower wall, pressing his hips forward and creating a pace, as Loki brought his thighs closer together.  The water made things slick, but there was still enough friction to cause wonderful sensations throughout both men.

Thor leaned over and pressed his mouth against Loki’s temple, as he moaned helplessly, his breath on Loki’s skin making him shiver.  “Is this ok?” Loki panted as he turned to look at him.  Thor’s answer was to bite into the soft skin of Loki’s shoulder, as he reached down and once again grasped Loki’s hard length.  He was already so close and the feel of Thor’s strong fingers pumping him steadily in time with his thrusts was enough to send him over the edge.  Thor came soon after with a choked-off noise that was probably meant to be louder and Thor barely restrained it. 

Loki turned and embraced Thor, leaning his head against the larger man’s shoulder, intending to show affection but also for support, his legs not being completely reliable at the moment.  They kissed lazily under the spray of water as they came down and their breathing slowly returned to normal, and Loki took charge of cleaning the two of them up. 

They stepped out of the shower and were relatively quiet as they toweled off, their silence comfortable and familiar, taking moments to touch and kiss as they did so. 

As Loki wrapped a towel around his waist, Thor reached around him, bringing him into a tight hug as he nuzzled his nose to his ear.   “So you’re clean… now what?” he whispered, as he placed fleeting kisses on the side of Loki’s head.

“We should get to bed.” Loki said, remembering the 9:00am meeting they had scheduled for later that day with Captain Rogers.

“My feelings exactly!” Thor said as he swiftly bent down and swept his arm behind the other man’s knees, sending him backwards and catching him with his other arm, quickly carrying him to the bedroom, laughing at Loki’s startled expression the whole time. 

“I’m not helpless, Thor!” Loki gasped as he landed on the bed, his towel lying beside him, having come loose during his little trip.  “You don’t need to _carry_ me everywhere!” he said indignantly, a bit of an edge in his voice. 

Thor’s smile slipped a bit at hearing Loki’s tone.  The intimacy between them was still so new, and he was so unsure about what he could and couldn’t do… “I’m sorry,” he said straightening up.  “ I know you’re not helpless… I was just… It was… sorry.  I didn’t mean anything by it.”  He said as he ran a hand through his hair.  He hadn’t meant to insult Loki, but wanting to constantly be in physical contact with him, he got carried away.  He stood with his back to Loki, looking around the room, unsure of what to do.

Loki saw the sudden change in Thor and instantly regretted his words.  His knee-jerk reaction to being carried wasn’t because he didn’t enjoy it – it was that he enjoyed it _too much_ … He thought he could get used to it… and that scared him.  But he didn’t want his insecurities to dampen the mood they’d been cultivating since he’d returned. 

“Hey," Loki said, reaching out and pulling at Thor’s arm.  “Maybe I’m just a little jealous.  You can pick me up and carry me around at the drop of a hat!”  Loki soothed, tugging more forcefully at the larger man, trying to bring him down towards him.  “While I apparently require heavy machinery to budge you even an inch!” He punctuated his words by pulling with more force on Thor’s arm.  This finally elicited a soft laugh from the larger man. 

Thor allowed himself to be pulled onto the bed until he was once again lying back, and Loki kissed him deeply, trying rekindle the lust and arousal that was present just moments ago. He continued along Thor’s chin and throat, moving his way downward to his chest, hearing the sound of Thor's quickening heartbeat. His mouth continued its journey down Thor’s body, teasing and nipping at his skin, grazing his lips over the grooves and planes of taut muscles, teasingly dipping his tongue into the larger man’s navel as he passed it, earning a startled gasp and moan from Thor.  Loki smiled into Thor’s abs as he felt the response, heady with power at knowing that he had brought Thor’s thoughts back to the two of them.  Loki reached Thor’s groin, but pointedly ignored Thor’s cock, lingering instead on the man’s hip bones, kissing and lapping the increasingly hot skin with his tongue, wanting to prolong the moment, all the while lightly running his hands over his thighs. 

Thor’s breathing was becoming ragged, his breaths coming in short gasps, as his hands gripped the sheet on either side of his thighs, his knuckles turning white.  He was straining to keep his control, struggling to resist the urge to thrust his hips upward, towards Loki’s face.  Loki could feel the tension on the larger man’s Thighs.  In the position he was in he was completely surrounded by Thor.  His beautiful body was below him and his scent filled his nostrils.  _Okay,_ he thought.  _Teasing’s over_ and he bent down and took the head of Thor’s cock in his mouth, and Oh. My. God. 

Thor clenched his eyes shut and Loki felt his abs clench as he squirmed, trying not to move, not to thrust into Loki, seeking more of that moist heat.  Loki moaned around his length, sucking ever so slightly as he hollowed his cheeks, slowly taking Thor’s cock deeper into his mouth until Thor felt the tip press against the back of Loki’s throat.  And, _oh.  Oh. Loki._ That was pretty much the extent of coherent thought he was able to muster as Loki moved up and down, swirling his tongue as he went.  Thor felt his fingers digging into Loki’s shoulders, trying not to grip too hard, but he knew he was probably going to leave bruises, bruises that would be there, marking Loki’s skin under his shirt tomorrow as he worked, and it was that thought as much as the wonderful things Loki was doing to his dick that almost sent him over the edge.  Loki gazed up at Thor as he indulged, amazed and fascinated by the reactions he was getting.  He knew he was good at this, but seeing Thor above him, coming undone with lust because of him, Loki nearly came there and then, without even being touched.

Thor took his hands away from Loki’s shoulders, afraid he might do some real damage, and returned to gripping the sheets instead. For a moment, Loki’s warmth left him and the shock of the cold air was enough to snap his hips up, seeking, but then the tip of Loki’s tongue grazed the dripping head of his cock and Thor felt his whole body draw up, muscles bunching and tensing as if electrified, as Loki wrapped his mouth around Thor’s cock once again, engulfing him, and then Thor was shouting, the words coming together in a jumble, and he was groping blindly in an attempt to warn Loki of his release, but Loki’s only response was to intensify the suction, enveloping Thor in a tight warm grip that had him coming in warm spurts,drawn out by Loki’s mouth as he swallowed around Thor’s shaft. 

Thor wasn’t sure how much time passed as he lay there, as his vision slowly returned and he tried to focus on anything, trying to find some thread of control. Coming down from the high of possibly the best orgasm he’d ever experienced.  “Loki, that… you… that… “He sputtered, his thoughts still jumbled around overwhelming sensations and feelings as shudders gradually left his body. 

Loki crawled up Thor, half-lying on the larger man’s sweat-covered body, reveling in the sound of Thor’s heavy breathing and pounding heart.  He gazed down at Thor’s awestruck expression and smiled fondly, cupping the larger man’s face in both his hands.  “Yeah, I know” he said softly, his voice slightly rough.  His lips were red and glistening and Thor had a surge of possessive pleasure at the thought that it was because of him. Without any conscious thought he grasped the back of Loki’s head and pulled him down for a wet, messy, filthy kiss that surprised both of them.  _What has happened to me?_ he wondered.  He would have never considered kissing someone after oral sex, yet here he was, eagerly seeking Loki’s mouth, tasting himself there and _liking_ it! 

“Now we sleep!”  Loki said firmly, as he pulled away from Thor, careful not to break the embrace.  “We should be asleep by now.  Remember the status meeting tomorrow? – I mean later today?” 

“Or, “Thor said, a wicked smile playing on his lips, “we could call in sick?  We’ve been working in close proximity for a while,” he said softly, nuzzling into Loki’s ear “it’s not beyond the realm of possibility that we get sick at the same time!  Besides,” he said as he adopted a grave expression “We wouldn’t want to make everyone sick at work.  It would be very irresponsible.”  His mouth was curling up at the corners and his blue eyes were twinkling as he looked at Loki expectantly.  He looked nothing short of adorable.  “Damn,” Loki thought as he looked up at Thor “This guy could talk me into anything.”  Outwardly, he said “Sleep.  We’ll see how ‘sick’ we feel in the morning.”  Thor grinned and kissed him softly before he pulled Loki to his chest, cuddling into him.  “Whatever you say”, he said, as he yawned.  “Yep,” Loki thought.  “I’m sooo screwed.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sorry, but here's another chapter chock full o' smut! What can I say? I get a kick outa writing this stuff! It won't all be like this, I promise :-) Hope you like it. Let me know what you think!

Loki awoke, still entwined in Thor's muscular arms. His blond god remained fast asleep.  Thor looked so peaceful in this state, his face completely relaxed as he rhythmically breathed in and out.  Loki took the opportunity look intently, studying every detail of the face before him, knowing that Thor would be uncomfortable with the scrutiny if he were awake.  He slowly and carefully pulled his arm out from where it was trapped between their bodies, and Thor reflexively tightened his hold on Loki for an instant, then relaxed once again, still sound asleep.  Once Thor’s breathing returned to normal, Loki reached out and lightly ran his fingers over the planes of Thor’s face, wanting to commit even the feel of it to memory.

Loki felt like the past few days had been a dream. Was he really doing this? Was he really allowing himself to fall in love with Thor, a straight guy by all accounts?  He had been so careful to protect himself all these years, what was it about Thor that made him give in to his desires?

 As if aware that he was being pondered, Thor opened his eyes.  He smiled when his gaze focused on Loki.  He leaned in, closing his eyes and burrowing his face into the crook of Loki’s shoulder, as he brought the smaller man closer.

"Good morning, beautiful” he murmured into Loki’s hair.

Loki smiled at the compliment.

"So,” Thor said as he placed slow kisses along Loki’s jaw. “Sex, huh?”

Loki smiled shyly and hid his face in his arm.

"Yeah, you seemed to take to it pretty well” Loki mumbled.

Thor squeezed Loki even closer, smiling into his long black hair.  “Well, I’ve had a pretty good guide.”

“Happy to be of service, sir” Loki replied with a smirk.

“How happy?  Because I did some interesting research yesterday that I’d really like to discuss with you.  At length.” Thor said, grinning wickedly.

“What sort of research?” Loki asked curiously, pulling his face away from Thor’s neck, but keeping their bodies pressed together.

“Well, I may have viewed some… educational videos yesterday, to sort of… bring me up to speed on… the possibilities…”  Thor said hesitantly, seemingly unwilling to meet the other man’s gaze, as he absently played with a strand of Loki’s hair.

Loki narrowed his eyes as he focused his gaze on Thor’s face, searching out the other man’s eyes. His face then broke out into an amused smile.  “So you watched porn!”  He said with a laugh.

“They were _educational_ videos!  Purely for research!”  Thor sputtered indignantly.  He tried to sound serious, but he was having a hard time keeping the smile from his face. 

“Yeah.  Educational.”  Loki deadpanned as he crawled on top of Thor.  “So what sort of things did you learn?”  He asked as he ground his hips suggestively against Thor.

“There was… quite a bit… of information…” Thor muttered.  “Things men… do… with… to… each other…”  God, what is it about this man?  One touch from him and he’s suddenly a horny teenager again, on the verge of coming from just the slightest contact. 

“Well, maybe I could help you decipher it all” Loki whispered as he continued his movements, adding soft kisses to Thor’s jaw.  “Did you see anything you’d like to try?” he asked softly. 

Thor stilled, hesitating.  This was all so new to him.  Wonderful, but new nonetheless. What did Loki expect from him?  He had never had any complaints from the numerous women he had bedded but this was so totally different. And not just because it was a man. It was because it was Loki. He seemed to have captured his feelings like no one else. It frightened Thor to feel this deeply for someone.  A part of him had hoped that the feelings he had for Loki were simply lust that would abate after he satisfied his curiosity, but after being with him, Thor just wanted _more._ More of the feelings and sensations that Loki’s touches and kisses had elicited from him.  It was like a drug and he wanted all that again.  But he also wanted to please Loki, satisfy him.  Knowing that his touches could bring Loki pleasure filled him with a mix of pride and lust.  Seemingly without any advance thought, Thor swiftly turned them over, causing Loki to gasp.  He gazed intently at Loki’s surprised face, and knew what he wanted.

“There are a couple of things…” Thor said, his voice low and gravelly, as he began to slowly move down Loki’s body, trailing kisses down the man’s chest and abs, positioning himself between Loki’s thighs.  

Loki’s eyes opened impossibly wide, “T-thor… what…” he stammered, his hands hovering over Thor’s shoulders, unsure of what to do with them. 

Thor reached the light trail of hair that led down to Loki’s cock, then hesitated.  He leaned up to look at his partner’s face, supporting himself on his arms placed on either side of Loki’s chest.  His pupils were wide and he was panting slightly.

“I am VERY turned on by you, Loki.  I can’t tell you how difficult it is to be around you and not touch you in some way.  I want this… whatever _this_ is, but I’ve gotta tell you.  I’ve NEVER done this with another man, nor have I wanted to.”  Thor paused for a moment, staring into Loki’s eyes before moving back down his body and settling between his thighs.  Thor felt his mouth go dry as he gazed down at Loki’s naked body. 

“I want to try something I’ve been curious about… I… I just don’t…” Thor squeezed his eyes shut for a second in an effort to steady himself and stop his shaking.  “Can I… try?” He said, eyes lingering on Loki’s half-erect cock.

Loki took a breath, ready to protest, immediately thinking this was nothing more than some crazy misguided need to reciprocate.  When he looked up at Thor, though, he saw a fierce determination in his eyes, mixed with an unmistakable look of lust.  His heart was hammering so hard in his chest he was sure it could be heard throughout the room _.  Thor. Wants. Me.  He really wants this._   _I don’t really know where to go with that!!_   He thought to himself.  Thor looked so intense and wound up, Loki couldn’t resist trying to lighten the situation a bit.

“Try what?”  He said, giving Thor a playful smile.

“You know” The other man said, a deep blush creeping up his face. “What you did… with your… your mouth” _God, I sound like an idiot! Like some inexperienced kid!_   He thought, frustrated, not even knowing how to word things.  It’s not like he could say ‘I wanna try to blow you, I’m just afraid I might gag’!  He was making such a mess of this!  “Can I try?”

Loki leaned up on his elbows, and gave him a soft smile, relaxing into the bed and parting his legs slightly in invitation.  “You can try whatever you want.  I’m game.”

“Okay then” Thor said, squaring his shoulders.  “Just… lie still for me” he stated, placing his hands on Loki’s hips and licking his lips seemingly without thinking about it.  He leaned slowly down, then quickly sat back up again, took a deep breath and began leaning down, only to sit right back up again.  Loki actually had to bite his lips to keep from laughing out loud.  Thor’s nervousness was so endearing, he was adorable!

“Thor, it’s okay –“ Loki said, smiling and reaching out to grasp Thor’s arm.

“I should apologize before-hand—“ Thor said in a rush

“You don’t have –“ Thor cut off Loki’s words with a desperate kiss, trying to calm himself and stave off the panic attack that he had felt bubbling up in him.

“I’m probably going to be total crap at this” Thor whispered as he kissed Loki again.  But I DO want to try”

Loki could feel the blood rush to his groin at the sight of Thor’s beautiful earnest face.  _Why on earth was that statement so fucking hot?_   His attention was diverted by Thor as the blonde leaned down and kissed his abs, dragging his lips down to his hipbone, kissing and nipping at the muscle there.  Loki emitted a high-pitched gasp upon the touch, surprising the both of them.  Thor smiled, emboldened by Loki’s strong reaction to his touch.  He brought his mouth down again on the sensitive skin, kissing along the muscle, dragging his teeth, licking and sucking, trying to elicit those amazing sounds from his partner.  Loki writhed under him, his musky scent enveloping Thor, making him dizzy with want.

At that moment Thor decided to just go with it, and let his desire take over.  He took Loki’s hardened length in his hand, giving him a few tentative strokes, before wetting his lips and hesitantly touching them to the head.  His tongue darted out and tasted, gradually licking longer strokes, as he became emboldened by the noises and words of encouragement from Loki.  He ran his lips and tongue over Loki’s cock, entranced by all the different textures.  He was hyper aware of every little sensation, amazed that, not only was he not gagging in disgust, he was actually enjoying it – very much.  His senses were filled with Loki: his scent, the way he tasted, the way he felt, combined with the lustful moans coming from Loki, combined to make Thor increasingly hard.

Loki watched in fascination as Thor slowly took in his hard flesh and _fuck_ it was good!  Pleasure shot through his body as Thor slowly swallowed down his cock, making pleased little noises with every bit that he managed.  After sucking and working around the hard cock for a moment, Thor pulled off with a wet pop “You make it look so easy!” he gasped, his lips swollen and red as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Oh my god, please tell me that means you want more practice!” Loki gasped, his hips involuntarily thrusting up at the sudden absence of Thor’s warm wet mouth. 

“Does that mean I’m doing okay?” Thor asked tentatively, his face flushed from both his endeavors and his growing arousal.

“Okay… so _very_ okay…” Loki gasped, huffing out a laugh.

A decidedly wicked smile spread over Thor’s face before he took one more breath, taking Loki’s erection fully into his mouth.  It was all so strange and new, and he made up for his lack of technique with enthusiasm, working the flesh the way he liked it done to him. He wrapped his hand around what he couldn’t get down his throat, remembering what movements got the best reactions, saving the knowledge to do better next time _Next time?!?!_   His mind stuttered.   _Am I really thinking about –_ but his thoughts were scrambled once again as he felt Loki’s fingers tangle in his hair.

Loki couldn’t take his eyes off the sight of Thor’s lips wrapped around his cock.  He fisted his hands through the blonde’s hair, loving the feel of it on his skin, seemingly unable to stop his endless stream of comments  “That’s – oh God, you’re good… that’s good… that.. oh my God… perfect… Your mouth! Oh my God, I can’t believe you’ve never – aaaaah…“ as Thor’s head bobbed up and down, increasing in speed suction, making his head spin.

Soon, (much sooner than he would have liked) Loki felt his orgasm beyond control.  “Thor… I’m close…”  he gasped, trying to pushing the other man’s head up.  Thor pulled off and licked his glistening lips, still keeping his face very close, and wrapped his hand around the base of Loki’s cock, stroking him fast and tight.  Thor’s gaze was focused intently at Loki’s cock as he occasionally darted his tongue out to lick the tip.  _He wants to watch_ Loki realized, and that sudden thought, along with the insistent tug of Thor’s hand pushed him over the edge, and he shuddered and came hard over Thor’s hand, some of it even reaching his lips and face.  A second later he felt a warm wetness on his leg as Thor moaned, dropping his forehead on Loki’s hip.

“Did you just – “ Loki started.

“Shut up,” Thor sighed, gripping Loki’s sides as his breathing hitched, mortified.  Loki laughed softly as he pulled at Thor’s shoulders until the larger man moved up to lay on his side, half on top of him.  “Okay, that? We’re not talking about” Thor mumbled into Loki’s neck.

“Are you kidding?” Loki said with a smile, trying to get Thor’s face up to look at him “You came on my leg.  We’re sooo talking abo—“ His words were cut off by Thor hastily pressing a kiss to his mouth.  He opened his lips, deepening the kiss, and Loki could taste himself there.  He shifted and rolled them until he was on top of Thor, aware of the messy wetness between their bodies, and surprised that neither man was really that bothered by it.  Regardless, he pressed away and leaned over to grab some tissues to clean up most of it, before the inevitable shower.  He leaned down to press a soft kiss to his partner’s lips, he felt a deep rumble deep in Thor’s chest.

“What’s so funny?” Loki asked curiously, pulling away from the other man. 

“Nothing,” Thor chuckled.  “You just never cease to amaze me.  _We… this…_ just never ceases to amaze me!”  he said, as he hugged the man close.  Plus, I haven’t come this much since I was a teenager!  Thor said as he laughed out loud.  Loki silently looked down at him, still a little dazed.  He had no idea where this was going, but for now, he was content to have this beautiful man laughing in his arms.  This was his last coherent thought as he drifted off to sleep, the sound of Thor’s rhythmic breathing in his ears as he drifted off as well.

Loki woke with a start an hour later.  “Shit!  We overslept!  We should have already been at work!”  he said as he rubbed his hands over his face, trying to wipe the sleep away. 

"But, I'm feeling a bit under the weather, and I'm afraid I may have passed my illness on to you." Thor quipped as he stretched his body along Loki’s, pressing his semi-hard cock against Loki’s thigh, and starting a slow soft rhythm against it.

"Thor, we have a meeting with the Captain, remember? I texted the incident with Carl to him…"

Thor stilled, his arousal slowly diminishing as the memory of the fateful incident came flooding back.  All at once he was seized with anger.  That man had attacked Loki, and who knows what would have happened if Thor hadn’t returned at that moment.

"Fine, let's go." Thor said shortly, unable to keep the stress and anger from his voice.  He began turning his body to get out of bed when he felt Loki pulling him back. 

“Okay, wait.  I don’t want to start the day with bad feelings between us.” Loki said as he sat up beside Thor, rubbing his hand along the larger man’s back.  “Come on… “ he coaxed as he smiled and placed small kisses along  Thor’s jaw.  “You know I would rather play hooky with you than go into work, but we have this commitment…”

Thor closed his eyes, smiling as he felt himself relax under Loki’s kisses and touch.  He again wondered what it was about this man, how he could affect his mood with just a touch.  He turned and grabbed Loki's neck, bringing their faces together for a deep kiss.

"Okay," Thor sighed as they pulled apart.  "I guess we should go face the world." 

Thor's words sounded forlorn but when Loki looked up at him, he had an amused smile on his face.  “Come on,” he said as he stood, pulling Thor with him.   “Let’s get going.”

“Yes sir!” Thor said with a smirk as he resisted the urge to pick Loki up and instead just followed him to the bathroom.

. o O o .

The drive to the precinct was quiet as both men were deep in thought, remembering the intense passion of the morning and previous night. A smile graced their respective lips as both men wondered what it all meant, if anything.  They parked in the underground garage and walked to the precinct in silence, as Thor grew increasingly uneasy.  _Should I say something?_   He thought.  _How’ll we behave around each other?  What if Loki acts demonstrative?_   His uneasiness was quickly turning to panic.  Maybe they should have talked about this…  As the elevator doors opened, Thor spoke.  “Loki, wait” Thor said and grasped the brunette’s arm, making him turn around, but the words died in his mouth as he saw Loki’s face.  He looked just as panicked as Thor felt. 

“What, Thor?”  He said expectantly, and Thor realized neither man knew how to proceed.  This actually made him feel a lot better.  Knowing they were both feeling the same, actually calmed Thor’s nerves.

“I just – “Thor began, but just then, Captain Rogers stuck his head out of his office. 

“It’s about time, you two.  Get in here.”  The two looked at each other, suddenly feeling exposed.  "Oh, pay no attention to the time!  I’ve got all day here!”  The captain yelled from inside his office, his voice sounding annoyed. 

“Shit!  We’re over an hour late!”  Loki muttered under his breath as he hurried into the captain’s office.  Thor followed immediately behind him, and they both began babbling, talking over each other in their haste to explain themselves as they sat.

“Sorry, Cap.  Loki just got in-“

“I just got home –“

“Just now-“

“this morning –“

“I mean just earlier-“

“at two-“

“Just now”

“very tired – “

“then talked –“

“then sleep –“

The captain looked back and forth at the two men, regarding them silently, a frown creasing his forehead, then closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face in exasperation, until their babbling petered out.  “Okay, what’s going on with you two?” he said in a tired voice.

Both sets of eyes shot up, wearing identical looks of terror.  Both men frantically wondering when the good captain had added Mind Reader to his skill set.

“I know the two of you had a rocky start, but I thought the kinks had been ironed out.  Or at least you’d learned to live with them.”  The captain said, as he finally directed his eyes back to the two detectives.  As he spoke he regarded each man individually, assuring he had their attention.  Satisfied, he stood and walked to the window, gazing out at the late morning activity outside.   “Look, I know it’s not easy to work with someone that you don’t completely see eye to eye with, but the both of you bring important things to the table, and I need the two of you to have your head in the game on this one.  You need to work out your differences, whatever they are, so you don’t jeopardize th—“ 

The two men turned to look at the captain when he stopped speaking suddenly.  He was gazing at them blankly for a split second, then his eyes narrowed slightly as his eyes flicked quickly between the two men, his expression becoming surprised for an instant before he recovered.  “—the investigation.”  He finished. 

"No, Captain, not at all!  We’re collaborating just fine, everything’s running smoothly.”  Loki said with a smile, his casual expression masking his rapid heartbeat and frayed nerves.  When the captain had turned his back to them, Loki had turned to Thor with wide eyes, trying to wordlessly communicate his panic.   _What do we say?!?_   He’d thought frantically.  _How should we act!?!_   They were sitting in close enough proximity that Thor didn’t have too far to reach when he quickly grasped Loki’s hand.  He rubbed his thumb over the man’s knuckles, quirked one side of his mouth up, leaned in slightly and gave Loki a small smile, in an attempt to convey _calm down, we’re okay!_ before he released his hand.  Loki’s heart stuttered a little at that move.  The quick moment was so unexpectedly sweet, and then the captain stopped talking. 

The three men didn’t speak for a moment, and Loki wondered where this would go, the smile plastered on his face slowly becoming a grimace.  The captain moved towards his chair suddenly, sitting down and taking on an all-business attitude.  “So Thor’s given me the bullet points Loki, why don’t you fill in the blanks?  Tell me about the superintendent.”

For the next hour, the men went over the details of the case, detailing every incident and dissecting every character study of the different individuals that lived in the exclusive condo complex, culminating in the incident with Loki and the superintendent.

"So, I get what happened when Thor showed up, but what happened afterwards?"

"What do you mean, sir?" Loki looked at his superior quizzically.

"I’m just trying to get a complete picture of the incident” the captain said off-hand, organizing the various papers that had become scattered over his desk during their meeting.  “You didn't write up a report that evening.  I'm just wondering what happened after Carl left?”  The captain asked innocently.  _Too innocently._

Thor tried to respond, "We, uh, talked."

"We argued!" Loki quickly asserted, noticing a suspicious look on the Captain's handsome face.

"What did you argue about?"

"About my constantly putting myself in danger, Thor hates it." Loki said these words in that playfully flippant way Thor admired in his partner. It wasn't the first time Loki was able to joke during a tense moment.

"Well, we'll definitely need to keep a closer eye on him," the Captain retorted. "Loki, try to engage him somehow, but only with people around.  He's obviously singled you out."

Thor leaned forward in his chair, sitting up straight, his hands gripping the arms of his chair.  “Why can't we just bring the guy in for questioning?"  He said tersely.  The idea of Loki deliberately putting himself in danger filled him with a mix of anger and terror. 

"Because that will blow your cover. Are you two ready for that?" In that moment, both men realized respectively, that the end of their cover would be the end, in all likelihood, of them.

“N-no!" Thor said, almost a little too emphatically. The other two men turned to look at him, stunned.

"I'm just saying, it's too soon." Thor corrected. "We need to see how this pans out. This guy might just be obsessed with Loki. I'll just be sure to always be around." He turned to look at his partner, and Loki smiled back knowingly. The Captain couldn't help but stare curiously at both men.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little bit more Stony thrown into the mix. Stony is my absolute favorite pairing, and they're what got me into fanfiction in the first place, so I had to give them some time in this story. It's not gratuitous, though, I swear! They do figure into the flow of the story :-) Hope you like it!
> 
> As always, the amazing art in this chapter was created by Golikethat. Check out his gallery on Deviantart.com or on tumblr.
> 
> By the way, we are trying to put artwork in every other chapter, so check back often to see new artwork as we update.

The crowd around Tony was slowly growing as he attempted to walk towards their table.  Steve watched in wonder as Tony graciously accepted congratulations and accolades from the different gala attendees, his beautiful smile radiating even as he sidestepped being drawn into conversations in favor of returning to his seat. 

“Well, I’ll say this for him: he’s certainly slick.” Lyla, Steve’s ‘date’ said, leaning over to him.  She’d been watching Tony, who was looking gorgeous in an Armani tuxedo, and marveled at how the charismatic man worked the crowd.  She’d also noted with amusement that Steve kept trying not to ogle his partner and failing miserably. “Here, you’re drooling a little bit” she said, smirking as she handed Steve a napkin.

Steve smiled as he swatted her hand away, as he fondly regarded his partner working his magic, deftly avoiding people, all the while making them feel special.  Classic Tony.  He had just been given an award of appreciation from the city for being instrumental in advancing technology for the police department.  Tony had been working tirelessly modifying and creating new gadgets that would help and protect police officers, so the award was well-deserved, and Steve wouldn’t have missed this for anything, even if he had to enlist his friend Lyla to pose as a date for himself.  Tony, being Tony, didn’t feel he needed to bother with bringing a girl.  “Let ‘em all wonder why I’m tagging along with you two!” he’d said earlier that night, as they’d driven together to the benefit.  “The press loves to speculate about me, anyway.”  He’d smiled suggestively at Steve then, making the captain wish that they had been alone in the car.

“God, I’m exhausted!” Tony muttered quietly to Steve as he dropped into the chair beside him, his public smile still plastered on his face.  “What?” He said, seeing Steve’s smirk as he shook his head “It’s a huge responsibility being me!” he said dramatically.  “It is my duty to cultivate the persona.” He finished, looking back and forth at the two people.

“Yes,” Steve said gravely, “you should receive a trophy just for being you,” he said patting his shoulder.

As Steve pulled his hand away, Tony grabbed it, bringing it to his chest.  “Ooh, are you the trophy?   He said with a sultry voice, leaning in and looking his partner in the eye.  “Because I know just where I want to put you – “

“Aaaand, that’s my cue to get the hell outa here!” Lyla said with a roll of her eyes, grabbing for her purse.  “I think I’ve been subjected to more than enough of Tony’s dirty talk for one evening” She said punching Steve in the arm.

“I think we can clear out of here now, don’t you Captain?” Tony said, choosing to ignore it when Steve abruptly pulled his hand away and moved his chair.  “We’ll drop you off on the way.” 

Steve nodded and stood to go, not looking Tony in the eye.  “I’ll go on ahead and get the car.” He said walking away.

“Hey, come on,” Lyla said, nudging Tony as she noticed him watching the captain walk away.  “You know he loves you, he just has a hard time with the PDA thing.  Give him time….”

“Time?  Sure, time.” Tony said quietly, not looking at Lyla.  “It’s been ten years, after all.  Time’s all I got.” She opened her mouth to say something, but changed her mind at the last minute.  She knew this was a sore spot between the two men, and that Tony had secretly hoped that tonight would be the night he could introduce Steve as his partner.  Steve had unknowingly dashed his hopes by inviting Lyla as his plus-one, but he chose not to say anything, and Lyla felt frustrated on his behalf.  “Come on, lets get out of here,” He said, forcing himself out of his low mood, offering her his arm.  “You’ve done a marvelous job as our beard tonight, by the way, and have earned a good night’s sleep!”

“Sleep nothing!” Lyla said indignantly as they walked arm in arm towards the valet “Tonight I’ve earned shoes.  Very expensive shoes, which the two of you are going to buy me.  Maybe a couple of pairs.  I haven’t decided yet.”  She said with a wink, laughing at Tony’s surprised expression.

As they stepped outside, Tony noticed Steve deep in conversation with a formidable-looking man.  He was as tall as Steve, also dressed in a tuxedo, wearing a wide smile as he spoke that didn’t quite reach his eyes, giving him a predatory look.  Steve’s brow was furrowed as he spoke, which instantly set Tony on edge.

“Who—“ Lyla started to say as she looked over at the two men.

“Trouble.” Tony said, cutting her off as he hurried over and stood by Steve.  “Eric Laufeyson.” Tony said, extending his hand to shake while subtly placing himself in front of Steve. “I’m surprised to see you here tonight.  Thought you only attended these things when there was something in it for you.” He said, his humorless smile matching the older man’s. 

The laugh that his escaped Eric’s lips only made him seem slightly sinister.  “Oh, I assure you, you’re mistaken, Mr. Stark.” He said, leveling his gaze at Tony.  “I am very interested in anything that helps the brave officers of our police department.” He said magnanimously, touching a hand to his chest. “You might even say I have a vested interest in keeping our officers safe,” he continued, an uncomfortably creepy smile lighting his face, “But I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about that!” he said, leaning into Tony conspiratorially. 

Instinctively, Tony flinched back, away from the older man.  He quickly recovered, though, smirking.  “Yeah, I’ve actually heard about your latest little obsession” Tony said smoothly, enjoying the look of angry shock that sprung up on the older man’s face.  As soon as Eric had spoken, Tony had felt Steve tense up next to him.  He knew how any mention of their relationship put Steve on edge and Tony was instantly on the defensive.  No one was allowed to hurt his Steve.  _No one._   “In fact – “ he began before he was cut off.

“As I mentioned before, Mr. Laufeyson,” Steve said loudly, speaking over Tony, “I am not at liberty to discuss the facts of a case, but if you come to my office tomorrow, I can fill you in on any progress we’ve made.” His voice was level and serious, leaving no doubt that their interaction was over.  “Now if you’ll excuse me,” he gestured at Lyla, standing by his car, ”I must take my date home.” He nodded once at the older man before starting to walk away.  “Coming Tony?” he said over his shoulder, not breaking his stride.

“Yep, coming” He said, flashing a brilliant smile at a still stunned Eric “Good night Mr. Laufeyson.  As always, it was a pleasure” he said before turning to follow his partner.

After dropping Lyla off, Tony felt it was safe to talk about the conversation with Eric.  Steve had been quiet and tense throughout the drive, and Tony thought it was due to Eric’s comments, so naturally he was surprised when Steve spoke up.  “I’m sorry about that.  You know, back in the ballroom.”  He said, turning his body so he was facing Tony’s profile.

“What? Waddaya mean?” Tony said with a frown.

“When I… when I pulled away from you” Steve said hesitantly, obviously embarrassed by his actions.

Tony waved his hand dismissively in the captain’s direction.  “It’s no big deal” he said with a smile.  “I just got carried away.  I know better…” He said, darting quick glances at Steve as he drove.

At Tony’s words, Steve rubbed his hand over his face in frustration.  “No, you didn’t do anything wrong… It’s…“  He took a deep breath.  “Tonight was great.  I really am proud of you, you know.  Its still my stupid hangups—“

“Hey!  Stop beating yourself up!” Tony said with a smile, reaching out and squeezing Steve’s thigh “I get it.  You’ve been so stressed!  And that dick Laufeyson didn’t help things any either.  What the hell was he saying to you, anyway?”

“Oh, that.” Steve said flatly. “He was grilling me for information on that case he’s funding.  Or more like information on the _detectives_ working the case…” he said, as his voice trailed off. 

“What?  What is it?” Tony said quickly, noticing Steve’s change in tone.  He turned the car into their street, darting glances at Steve to gage his reaction as he drove.

“It’s the murder investigation in the LGBT community I told you about.”  Steve said, deciding to just tell his partner.  “I think the two detectives I assigned to work undercover on this case are getting _close_.”

“Is there a reason they shouldn’t?” Tony frowned in confusion as he drove into their driveway.  “I would think you’d be happy they’re finally able to work together in harmony.  I remember you’d said they hated each other when they met?”

“I mean CLOSE close.” The captain said as he turned to look at Tony meaningfully.  “They were in my office today for a debriefing and I got the distinct impression that there was something that wasn’t being said.  The tension was so thick when they first came in, I automatically assumed they’d clashed over something and had been fighting again, but as I was talking –“ Steve stopped, his hand on the car door handle, as he thought about the afternoon, back in his office.

“What?” Tony said, hurrying around to Steve’s side of the car, intrigued by his partner’s thoughtful expression.

“You’re gonna think I’m crazy,” Steve said quickly as he exited the car, “but I could swear I _felt_ the emotions change in the room!  And I could swear at one point that I caught them gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes!  WHILE they held hands!”  As the captain spoke, he got more and more agitated, feeling more certain of what he saw now that he spoke his thoughts aloud.  He walked to their front door and opened the door, letting Tony in, still lost in thought.

“Well… that’s good, right?” Tony said, walking over to the couch and sitting, gesturing for Steve to join him. “I mean, they’re pretending to be _married_ , wouldn’t it be better for the case if they DID get… intimate?”  Tony said the last word as he wiggled his eyebrows and smiled teasingly at Steve. 

“No, no, no…” Steve said as paced back and forth.  “This is bad.  Thor’s straight!  He’s got a girlfriend!  And Loki… well…” He hesitated, dropping on the couch next to Tony “I don’t know what’s going on there.  From what I saw in my office, I was sure there was something between the two,” He turned to face his partner “But from the way Laufeyson was just talking… he made it seem like _he_ and Loki were starting something…”  He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. 

“It just doesn’t smell right,” Tony grumbled, “Loki doesn’t seem like the type who would play two guys like that…” At seeing Steve’s puzzled expression, Tony smiled knowingly. “I met him the other day, while visiting Bruce’s lab.  And, by the way -- hot!” Tony said, raising his eyebrows.  “Seemed like a pretty decent guy, though… smart… Not someone who would fall for Eric’s bullshit… Wait a minute –“ Tony said suddenly, eyes wide “Thor? You said _Thor_?” Tony said gleefully “The big, hot, built blond guy?  THAT’S who’s posing as Loki’s husband?”  Tony was smiling like a kid at Christmas. 

Steve winced as he realized his blunder. He hadn’t wanted to divulge details of the case, yet Tony now knew the principal players.  He had preferred to keep his partner and work separate, mainly for Tony’s safety, but also knowing Tony wasn’t very good at keeping secrets.  “Tony, you’re NOT allowed to speak of this to ANYONE!  Please do this for me!  There are too many powerful players involved in this”.

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony said dismissively “So Thor and Loki, huh?” He said, leaning back on the couch, arms stretched to the sides as he gazed at Steve. “I mean, I knew Loki was gay, and he IS very attractive, but That Thor guy?  I didn’t think he’d be that… open-minded!” 

“Tony—“Steve said exasperated, rubbing his face. 

But this only spurned the smaller man on more.  “Ooh!” Tony said, suddenly turning in his seat with a bounce and leaning forward to face Steve “Loki must have some pret-ty good tricks up his sleeve to get mister Macho-I’m-only-into-girls on his knees!” As he spoke, he crawled on Steve’s lap, straddling him as he wrapped his arms around his partner’s neck.

“Oh my God!  Tony!” Steve said, making a weak effort to disentangle Tony’s arms from around his neck.  “We don’t know if that’s what’s going on!” Steve said, automatically tilting his head back as Tony began to nibble playfully at his neck.  “It’s probably just my imagination anyway,” Steve mumbled distractedly, as his body quickly began responding to Tony’s ministrations.

“Yeah,” Tony said with a sigh into Steve’s hair before grinding his hips down, pressing their hardening cocks together, “Two hot guys, living together... in close quarters… naked… probably fucking… wishful thinking, is it?” Tony said, pulling back to regard his partner, a lopsided smirk gracing his face.

A laugh escaped Steve’s lips, mixed with a moan of pleasure as he held Tony’s hips tight.  “The only two guys I’m imagining naked right now are in this room” Steve said as he flipped them over, effectively pinning Tony to the couch as he sealed their mouths together in a searing kiss.  Tomorrow, if Tony wanted, they might talk about Steve’s hang-ups.  Tonight, though, Steve was content to not think about work and simply fully enjoy this man that had become his whole life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, any and all comments are appreciated. I love reading them, they're what keeps me going!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, back to Thorki. This chapter's mostly fluff, and a bit of smut, just the two of them together. Hope you like it!

For what seemed like the umpteenth time, Thor looked up and checked the time.  He had been wanting to get Loki alone all day and talk, but they had been overwhelmed with meetings and work since their meeting with the captain.  It was now late afternoon and he was growing more and more anxious as the day wore on.  What’s more, he got the distinct feeling that Loki was avoiding him.  In those fleeting moments when he had managed to get Loki’s attention, Thor would discreetly gesture for Loki to follow him to another room, only to be met by a barely perceptible shake of the head and a frown from his partner.  Each refusal made Thor more and more anxious.  _What the hell is going on?_   He asked himself, racking his brain for clues as to Loki’s behavior.   He only managed to keep some sense of control by reasoning that, since they arrived together, they would leave together.  He would just have to talk to him then. 

Late in the afternoon, Thor nervously approached Loki's desk." You ready?" he asked.

Without looking up, Loki busied himself with folders on his desk. "I was thinking about staying a bit longer.” He said airily, his voice sounding overly casual.  “I've got some things I'd like to do. I can catch a ride with someone later." He said, finally looking up at Thor, wincing slightly as he saw the hurt in Thor’s eyes.

“Right.  Okay.”  Thor said nodding, his voice tight.  “See you later then.”  He said, rapping his knuckles on Loki’s desk twice before turning and walking away. 

Feeling his stomach drop sickeningly, Loki put his face in his hands and sighed.  The last thing he wanted was for Thor to leave without him, but he was just so confused… _What’s going on?  What are we doing?_   Loki thought, already feeling bereft without Thor’s presence.  Their morning’s activities had been amazing, and Loki had thought he had a pretty good handle on what there was between them.  Sex. Granted, really good sex, but sex nonetheless.  Then Thor had held his hand so reassuringly when they were in the captain’s office, at just the right moment that Loki had needed him to.  It had been so surprising and so sweet, sending Loki’s precariously ordered feelings tumbling everywhere.  Loki was so lost in his confusion of feelings that he didn’t notice Thor hesitating at the elevator doors before stalking back to Loki’s desk determinedly.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Thor whispered sternly, placing both palms flat on Loki’s desk and leaning in.  “Can you at least tell me what it was that I did wrong?” He said, a twinge of desperation leaking into his tone as he spoke.  

Startled by Thor’s sudden presence, Loki quickly jerked his head up, suddenly staring into impossibly blue eyes, glaring at him intensely and he swallowed thickly, unable to look away.  Thor’s glare began to soften as Loki continued to gaze at him, and the beginnings of a smile began to play on Loki’s face as he noticed.  “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Loki said, leaning in closer to Thor. “It’s what you did right.”  Thor straightened, a frown furrowing his brow as he looked utterly confused.  "This -- thing" Loki continued, gesturing between the two of them "is getting complicated."

“Comp—“ Thor closed his eyes, not able to finish his sentence, and gritted his teeth in frustration.  “What do you mean ‘what I did right’?” he finally said, choosing to focus on the original comment.  Loki opened his mouth to explain, but was interrupted before he even started.  “Come on,” Thor said abruptly.  “Let’s just get the hell out of here.” He picked up Loki’s satchel and held it out to his partner, showing in his stance that he wasn’t leaving without him.

Loki regarded him for a second, then stood and wordlessly grabbed his satchel out of Thor’s hand.  _Maybe leaving together is better_ , Loki thought, smiling at Thor before walking to the elevators. _We need to talk about keeping our distance from each other, and I DO NOT want to have this conversation in public!_  

Their ride down to the parking lot was quiet and both men got into the borrowed Mercedes without saying a word. It wasn't until they were on the busy boulevard, away from security cameras, that Thor grabbed Loki's hand and pulled it towards his mouth, pressing his lips to his partner’s knuckles, not kissing, but brushing his lips against the rough skin.  Inhaling deeply as he briefly closed his eyes, reveling in the sensation.  He only released Loki’s hand when he had to suppress an overwhelming urge to open his mouth and suck Loki’s fingers in, suddenly wanting to taste him.

Loki sat stunned, Thor’s actions rendering him speechless.  _What the…_ Loki’s mind stuttered as he sat, staring straight ahead at the road.  He clenched and unclenched his hand, the memory of Thor’s breath still on his skin, firing up feelings in him that he had been fighting to keep under control.  _Okay, keep it together…_ he told himself as he found that, embarrassingly, he was having trouble breathing.  He glanced at his partner, and with a jolt, realized that Thor was in the same boat as he, his breath coming in quick bursts as he too fought to control himself.  It gave Loki a thrill to realize he had that effect on him. 

Thor's pulse had quickened and his driving had become somewhat erratic as he maneuvered the streets on his way to the condo, a fierce look on his face.  Thor's silence both frightened and excited Loki, and he was suddenly filled with such _want_ , that all his focus was redirected to getting this man alone.  In their apartment.  Now. 

They seemed to arrive at the condo in no time, and Thor quickly exited the car, going around to Loki's side and grabbing his free hand as he adjusted his bag.  They both walked quickly and purposefully, neither saying a word, but both feeling the electric charge between them. 

“Hey you two!” Collin, one of the neighbors called out, rushing toward them.

“Aw, shit!” Thor mumbled as he tugged Loki along, trying to pretend he didn’t hear the insistent calls.

“Thor, don’t be rude!” Loki admonished, pulling his hand out of Thor’s grasp, taking a deep breath and turning to face Collin.  “Hey there!  We didn’t see you coming!” Loki said with a smile, ignoring Thor’s grumbling.

“Goodness!  You two are fast!” Collin panted as he fanned himself dramatically with his hand.  He was laden with bags holding high-end snacks and wine bottles.  “Anywhoo, FYI, we’re having an impromptu get-together over by the fire pits in about a half hour, just bring a snack or drink to share.  Come on, the two of you HAVE to join!” Collin said, smiling enthusiastically.

“We have other plans” Thor said tersely, as he grabbed Loki’s hand and began pulling him away.

“Um, Thank you so much for the invitation,” Loki said, smiling weakly, “but I think we’re gonna pass.” He said, as he darted a glance at Thor, resisting his insistent tugging.

“Oh, come on!  Randy said that Howard’ll be bringing his new boy-toy, and he hasn’t brought _any_ of his boys around since Elliot accused him of renting them by the hour!” Collin said gleefully “We can sit back and watch the fireworks fly!”

“Besides, we don’t really have anything to bring…” Loki tried again, attempting to have a conversation while being pulled away.

“Oh don’t worry about it!  I’ve got enough to feed an…” Collin’s words tapered off as he finally focused and paid attention to the two men’s expressions.  Loki was flushed and breathing a bit shallowly, while Thor’s pinched expression showed annoyance and… some pretty serious arousal... “But I’m sure you have more important things to do” The younger man suddenly said, busying himself with his grocery bags.  “You two have fun, we’ll catch up later!”  He said as he rushed away, no doubt to make them another story in tonight’s gossip lineup.

The two men watched as Collin practically ran away.  “Three guesses what they’re gonna be talking about at that bonfire tonight,” Loki said with a smirk, turning to look at Thor.

“Yeah,” Thor said as he huffed out a laugh, “Let’s hope he doesn’t break a leg in his haste to add an entry to tonight’s gossip lineup.” He said sardonically.  The two men shared a laugh for a moment, thinking about how their neighbors were constantly fascinated by their private life.  Their mirth gradually ebbed, though, as their feelings from earlier began to resurface.  “Lets go” Thor said suddenly, pulling Loki the rest of the way to their front door.

Once there, Thor fumbled with the key, quietly cursing the delay. He opened the door and pulled Loki in, wasting no time pushing Loki against the door, kissing him voraciously. He bit at Loki's chin, moving down to his throat, as his hands immediately searched out the other man's bare skin, pulling at his light blue shirt.

“We sh-should… should prob’ly talk…” Loki muttered as he felt Thor's fingers clawing at his back, pushing their bodies closer, feeling the urgency bubbling below the surface.  Thor hummed what was probably supposed to be in agreement, but didn’t stop his exploring one bit.  _I’ve got to get a hold of this situation!_ Loki thought distractedly.  He tried to speak again, but his words were once again smothered by Thor's tongue forcing itself into his mouth. He suddenly felt himself lifted by Thor's huge arms and carried to the bedroom, his mouth pressed against his throat.

  Thor threw Loki's willing body on the bed, then quickly straddled him, quickly reclaiming his mouth as he removed first Loki’s then his own shirt, pressing their exposed skin together.  Thor stilled for a moment, just clutching Loki close, and the sigh that escaped his mouth was simultaneously relief mixed with desire, as if skin-to-skin contact was all he was waiting for.  The gesture was at once so sweet and possessive, it took Loki’s breath away.  He fought for some semblance of clarity through the fog of desire that was permeating his mind, gearing himself up for the speech he had planned.  _We need to talk…   about this… about slowing things down…_ Loki thought distractedly, but then Thor began trailing slow soft kisses down his neck, and all thoughts of his speech flew out the window. _Aw, fuck it!_ He finally thought, deciding to give himself willingly to this passion. _We can talk later!  Talking’s overrated anyway…_ he thought, not quite remembering what it was he wanted to say as he reached down and took Thor’s already fully hard member in his hand and began to stroke.

. o O o .

As Loki lay exhausted, his head resting on Thor's extended arm, he watched the shadows play along the walls of their darkened bedroom.  The sun had set at some point since they had come in, but damned if he could remember noticing earlier.  He shuttered lightly as he thought back to the last couple of hours, how they had come together so ardently and how intensely the two had wanted each other.  Even the intensity of his own feelings frightened him.

“Thor, are you awake?"

"Hmm," Thor's voice responded drowsily. "What is it, baby?"

Loki was glad his face was turned away as his eyes widened at the endearment voiced.

"I was just thinking, we need to know how to behave around each other when we're at work. I think the captain’s on to us." Loki said, concerned.

Thor brought his body closer to Loki, burrowing his face into the back of Loki's neck.

"I think things went rather well.  Don’t worry, its fine."  He said as he wrapped his arms around Loki, holding him tight.

 “What office were _you_ sitting at?” Loki said incredulously as he huffed out a laugh, turning over to face his partner.  “We were nervous as hell!  I’m sure he noticed something… The captain’s pretty observant… Why aren’t you more worried about this?” Loki asked as he looked up at Thor’s face, taking note of his closed eyes and relaxed expression.

"Because,” Thor said, snuggling in, burrowing his nose into Loki’s hair “all I care about… Right this moment… is holding you." Thor said drowsily, tightening his embrace and bringing Loki even closer.  Thor’s breath ghosting through his hair sent delicious shivers through Loki’s body, doing its best to once again derail his resolve.

“Mkay… we _really_ need to talk about this…” Loki said, trying to push the larger man away and put some distance between them.  Thor responded by rolling onto his back, arms still held tight, so Loki wound up sprawled on his chest. 

Thor looked up at him, a delighted smile on his face “Yes Loki?” He said jokingly, laughter mixed with his words.  “What would you like to talk about?” As he spoke, his hands roamed over Loki, caressing his back and travelling down until they cupped Loki’s Ass and squeezed, pressing their bodies together.  The move dragged a surprised moan from Loki as he dropped his head, touching his forehead to Thor’s now rapidly heaving chest. 

As he closed his eyes, Loki let himself be led by Thor’s hands, quickly falling into the easy rhythm the large hands set, rolling his hips and grinding him against Thor’s (already!) hard cock.  “Okay,” Loki panted, looking up at Thor “But we’re definitely talking about this tomorrow” he said, attempting a stern look but failing miserably as both of Thor’s hands came around and grasped their two cocks together, setting a steady rhythm.  _It’s probably the wrong time to talk about this… this… whatever the hell this is…_ Loki sighed closing his eyes.  _Definitely tomorrow._


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next installment, which includes an appearance by Clint Barton. I had originally intended for him to be just a filler character, but have since really grown to like him! I really enjoyed writing him, and hope to bring him back in more appearances. To those of you Clint fans, I hope I did him justice. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Artwork in this chapter as always was done by GoLikeThat. Check out his art on tumblr or Deviantart.
> 
> And, yes, apparently, Thor has a tattoo! Who knew! Ah, well... artistic license. I'm thinking of going back and modifying the story somehow to include it, cuz you KNOW Loki noticed it! What do you think? ;-)

 During the next couple of weeks, the two men settled into a routine.  They would spend their days at the precinct working on their case load, and their evenings at the condo, in surprisingly domestic situations.  They would make dinner together, and talk over the day while they ate.  Later, they would clean up the kitchen and cuddle together on the couch, making out like teenagers while the t.v. played in the background.  In the interest of the investigation, they would sometimes join in the many get-togethers their very social neighbors would host, but by unspoken agreement, would make their excuses and retire early, eager to return home where they, invariably, had sex.

Thor knew it would probably be better to stay and gather as much Intel as possible on their neighbors, but the lure of being alone, naked, with Loki always won out.  Thor's mind was reeling. Being with Loki had opened his eyes to more experiences and sensations that he ever thought possible.  Like everyone else, he had appreciated attractive men around him and, on the rare occasion had idly wondered about intimacy between two men in the abstract.  The reality, however, was like nothing he had ever dreamed.  Loki from afar was beautiful to look at, but Loki in his arms, eyes half-closed with lust, mouth slightly open and panting in response to Thor's caresses, was magnificent.  Thor couldn't seem to get enough.  Loki's pale (almost translucent) skin stretched over a deceptively strong sinewy body that Thor couldn't stop touching.  He would run his hands over the planes and dips in the muscles of Loki's abs or shoulders and marvel at the contradiction of the almost delicate-looking skin over hard muscle.    He would spend long moments tracing the vein patterns slightly visible on the other man's thighs and lightly brush his fingers over the hair on his legs, occasionally saying to himself in wonder "this is a MAN I'm touching!" 

For his part, Loki was content to let Thor explore.  This was a completely new thing for the other man and, selfishly, Loki didn't want it to end.  In the back of his mind he knew this might just be a temporary thing.  Thor was satisfying a curiosity that a lot of straight guys had and Loki was a convenient outlet.

These little explorations always ended well for the both of them after all. 

In the beginning, Thor was more hesitant and tentative with his touches, but he grew gradually bolder, fueled by Loki's moans and writhing body.  He learned what touches got the best response, how much pressure would make Loki come quickly, or how to draw it out until the other man begged for release.  Soon he knew Loki's body as well as his own.

. o O o .

Thor groaned as he felt the mattress shift.  He tiredly opened one eye and checked his phone.  “Loki, where are you going?  It’s 6:30!” he grumbled, eyes still closed.  They had spent most of the previous day and a large part of the evening at the precinct, working on their case. The two detectives and captain Rogers had spent hours combing through the hours of surveillance footage from the security cameras installed at the condo complex, and their hard work seemed to have produced results.  The more they catalogued, the more the evidence seemed to point to Carl, the superintendent.  His increasingly suspicious behavior and easy access to all areas of the buildings made him a prime suspect.   So much so that the captain became anxious when he learned Carl was out of town.  The three decided that Thor and Loki should spend more time with Carl when he returned, befriend him and earn his trust, in an effort to gain more information.  It was after midnight when the two returned to the condo, both dead on their feet.  They went straight to bed, wrapped in each other’s arms.

“Out for a run,” Loki said, turning to smile at the sleepy man.  “I thought I’d get a workout in before going back to work – don’t look at me like that!  We’ve got a lot of loose ends to tie up from last night!  Plus, you said you had a meeting with someone at Narcotics today.  Come on, just because it’s Friday doesn’t mean we have to be lazy!”  He punctuated his words with a good-natured punch to Thor’s arm, thinking the other man was still half asleep.  Thor took advantage of the closeness and reached out, quickly grabbing Loki by the arm and pulling him back to the bed on top of him. 

“Yes! That’s exactly what Friday means!”  Thor exclaimed, fully awake now, alternating between nuzzling Loki’s neck and planting quick kisses at whatever skin he could reach, all the while running his hands over Loki’s body. 

“Stop it Thor!” Loki exclaimed, laughing breathlessly, not really wanting the exquisite torture to stop.  Thor continued tickling him mercilessly enjoying the feel of Loki’s squirming body over his.  He flipped them over, trapping Loki under him, softening his touches into caresses as he trapped Loki’s mouth in a kiss, swallowing the laugh that escaped it.  Thor deepened the kiss, all the while marveling at how easy this was.  How comfortable he felt holding and kissing Loki.  He loved the feel of the other man’s body under his hands, so different from anything else he’d ever experienced, yet already so familiar.  In no time, they found an alternate way for Loki to get his workout.

. o O o .

The sky showed the beautiful colors of twilight by the time Loki ventured out of the precinct that evening.  He had originally thought they would work for no more than three or four hours before going home and starting the weekend early together.  Work, however, had other plans.   He and Thor had spent hours with the captain, going over tactical plans and schematics of the Sapphire towers, formulating plans.  They then decided to take a dinner break before continuing.  As Loki walked across the street, on his way to the deli for a food run, he pondered the day.  Captain Rogers seemed very invested in their case, more so than any other active case, Loki thought.  He seemed anxious, almost nervous about it, and wanted to be involved in every aspect of his and Thor’s planning.  Loki supposed the man felt guilty about the circumstances of the assignment, and appreciated the Captain’s input, but sometimes he was bothered by all the extra attention.  It didn’t sit well with him and made him feel on edge.  He decided to talk to Thor about it when they finally went home tonight.  Loki smiled as he stood at the deli counter, waiting for his sandwich order to be filled.  In such a short period of time, it had become so natural to think of him and Thor as a couple.  He knew their situation was very complicated, and eventually, they’d have to have a long conversation on whatever _this_ was, but for now, he’d take what they had. 

As he picked out snacks and drinks, Loki wondered when Thor would come back.  After reviewing the old case with Barton, his old partner had convinced him to ride along on a call, and Thor jumped at the chance.  He seemed to really enjoy being around the other narcs, laughing and joking with them like rowdy siblings.  Loki frowned a bit as he gathered all his food at the register to be rung up, remembering the moment he had gone upstairs, presumably to see how work was going, but really because he didn’t like being away from Thor.  He walked into the office and immediately spied Thor, in the center of a large group of men and women, all laughing raucously, and seemingly talking at the same time.  Thor had seemed genuinely happy to see him, and introduced him around to everyone, including his old partner Clint.  They had all been nice enough, and politely asked questions about how their case was going.  Despite all this, though, Loki felt uncomfortable.  Maybe he was being hyper-sensitive, but he felt scrutinizing looks behind those polite smiles.  From Clint in particular.  He had stayed for a few minutes before saying his goodbyes, feeling unsettled.  He and Thor were really very different.  As he walked back to the precinct, he wondered how much longer this would last.   Seeing Thor around his old friends, relaxed and enjoying himself, he realized it might only be a matter of time before Thor became bored with Loki and their arrangement.  Loki would have to be ready for that.  His step slowed as he felt a heaviness in his heart at the mere thought of it.  Not waking up wrapped around Thor, not sharing easy touches and caresses, secret smiles in the halls at work, the feel of Thor’s hands… Loki’s head jerked up, almost like he’d heard his name called out.  Oh shit!  I’m falling in love! He thought with a start.  That could not be good.  He’d learned the hard way not to give his heart away so easily.  He’d been hurt before and had resolved a long time ago that he was better off using his brain rather than his heart when it came to dating.  I have to protect myself, Loki resolved as he opened the precinct door and headed for the elevator.  He’d need to put some space between him and Thor, and remind himself that this was only temporary.  Just… not too much space.

As soon as the elevator doors opened on his department’s floor, Loki felt the change in the atmosphere.  The place was a flurry of activity, with everyone talking over each other or speaking on the phone.  A group of people were standing around the television set, intently watching a special report.

“Loki!” Captain Rogers called out, hurrying over to him.  “Details are still sketchy, but there’s a team en route, eyes in the sky and snipers are almost in position…” Loki didn’t hear the rest of the captain’s words.  His attention was riveted to the television, where the police were surrounding a run-down house, guns drawn.  A reporter was reviewing the story: Two detectives had arrived to question the resident, Efren Castillo, regarding some suspicious drug activity in the neighborhood.  Witnesses reported that Mr. Castillo had become belligerent and the confrontation soon escalated.  When Mr. Castillo brandished a gun, one of the detectives had lunged for Mr. Castillo’s young child, shielding her as shots rang out.  In the confusion, one of the detectives was shot, and now all four people were in the residence.  Mr. Castillo had barricaded himself inside and had refused to communicate with police, other than occasionally firing at the uniformed officers surrounding the house. 

Loki stood frozen in place while the story sunk in.  Thor.  He’s in there.  Thor was shot.  “What’s their status?” Loki asked, turning to the captain.  He didn’t need to elaborate that he was asking about the two detectives. 

“We know one of them’s been shot, but we don’t know who and we don’t know how bad.  The bastard’s holding them hostage and he won’t let any of our people in – Loki wait!”  The captain shouted as Loki ran out, his food purchases forgotten on the floor.  All he could think of was getting to Thor.

. o O o .

Thor sat on the floor, cradling a crying little girl in his arm, trying to coax her onto the couch.  “Come on sweetie, it’s okay.  Just sit here, I promise I won’t go anywhere.”  She was clinging to him tightly, arms and legs bracing him, not letting go.  As Thor soothed the child, his gaze darted quickly between Clint, lying on the floor next to him and the crazed man standing by the window, currently talking animatedly in Spanish on the phone.  Clint’s eyes were closed, the blood stain on his shirt growing steadily.  Thor wasn’t sure where or how badly he was wounded, but he knew he needed to act fast.  Castillo was pacing now, mumbling unintelligible words to himself, lost in his own world.

“Hey,” he said briskly rubbing his hand up and down the girl’s back. “What’s your name, huh?”  The little girl flinched, and Thor realized he was rubbing too hard.  He immediately felt guilty for hurting her.  He didn’t have a lot of experience with kids.  She turned her watery eyes to him.

“Bella” she said quietly.

“Hi Bella.  Will you help me out here?  Just let me check on my friend, okay?  I’ll be right here”.  She looked over at Castillo, then regarded Thor with wide eyes, her lower lip trembling.  “Daddy’s being scary!  I want mama!” she said quietly, desperation clear in her voice.  And, God, that broke Thor’s heart.  This kid shouldn’t have to be afraid of her own father!   “Its okay kiddo.  If you help me out, we’ll go find your mom, ok?”  She finally relented, and allowed him to place her on the couch, still sobbing quietly.  Thor turned to Clint, moving slowly, not wanting his movements to agitate Castillo.  He bent low over the other man, bringing his ear close to his mouth, to hear him breathing.

“If you wanna kiss me, just ask” Clint mumbled, his voice barely registering.  Thor sighed in relief.  At least he was conscious.

Thor smiled at him “Yeah, go ahead and joke,” he said quietly, gingerly touching the other man’s torso to check his injuries “we both know it's what you’ve been secretly wanting all along” 

Clint smiled at the joke, then winced as Thor’s hands reached the wound.  “It’s not too bad”, he said “don’t think he got anything too important”

Thor nodded.  “Think you can sit up?” he asked seriously, attempting to pull Clint upright.  Upon noticing the movement, Castillo seemed to snap, his nerves frayed. 

“Don’t fuckin’ move!” he snarled, stalking over to them, pointing the gun back and forth between Thor and Clint.  “Or I’m gonna put the next bullets in your heads!”  Bella screamed and flung her arms around Thor’s neck.  As he struggled to untangle the little arms from his neck, Thor noted the man's eyes darted nervously back and forth, and that his movements were fidgety.  He blinked rapidly and his face kept twitching.

Thor quickly put his hands up, to try and pacify him.  “Easy, not gonna try anything.  He’s losing a lot of blood.  I’m just trying to see if I can help him."

 Thor had had a bad feeling about the situation the minute be had looked at Castillo’s eyes when they’d arrived.  He was definitely on something, but they didn’t get much of a chance to ascertain what before it all went to hell.  One minute they were asking him questions, the next he had grabbed Bella and put a gun to her head, backing into the house, demanding they “get the fuck out”.  Thor shuddered as the memory hit him.  _Jesus!  His OWN kid!_   She had immediately started screaming and struggling, and both he and Clint instinctively moved towards him, arms outstretched as if reaching for the child.  Castillo had panicked and literally THROWN the child at Thor, to stop his advance.  Clint, seeing an opening, had lunged at him and in the struggle, the gun had gone off.  Gauging from Castillo’s reaction, he hadn’t meant to shoot.  He had immediately slammed the door and gotten them all on the floor, against the wall.  At that point, Thor could have overpowered him, but he couldn’t risk further harm to either Clint or Bella. 

Castillo rubbed his free hand over his face, clearly agitated, his nerves stretched to their limit.  "Just--that's far enough!  No more moving!"  He was staring in terror at Clint's ashen face and spreading blood stain, when his phone rang again, making them all jump.  He swore loudly before answering the phone, moving slowly toward the window, still pointing the gun at Thor and Clint.

“So what’s your plan genius?” Clint said softly “Whatever it is, it’s gotta happen fast.  Our friend’s planning to make a move soon.” He said as Thor made a crude bandage from the button-down he’d been wearing and pressed it down on the other man’s wound.  He noted nervously that Clint’s color was becoming more ashen by the minute.  “He’s nervous” Clint said.  “He can’t get his friend on the phone to agree with him on an exit strategy.” Clint murmured.  Thor had forgotten that Clint spoke some Spanish.

“Gotta get you as stable as possible first.  Then, I’ll take lead.  She’s your priority.  You see me move, cover her.”  He turned to look at Bella, now completely quiet, curled up in a tight ball on the couch, her eyes wide with terror.  He put his hand on her shoulder and smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile at her. 

Clint nodded once.  “Check” he said.

Thor huffed out a small laugh as something suddenly occurred to him. “Wait, now you’re willing to follow my plans?  It took you getting shot to see reason.” 

“Yeah, I guess it’s the new outfits and all that product in your hair.  You look gorgeous… makes you irresistible” Clint said weakly, trying for levity.

“Sorry, you’re not my type” Thor said distractedly, as he rearranged the makeshift bandage, noting that at least the bleeding had slowed considerably.

“No, I get it” Clint said.  “I’m not a tall hot brunette with killer green eyes.” He slowly turned his head and looked pointedly at Thor, grinning. 

Thor’s hands stilled and he quickly looked up at Clint.  In seconds his mind was filled with images of Loki.  Loki lounging on the couch, reading, Loki sitting up straight at his desk, writing out a report, Loki showering after a long run, Loki in bed, gazing up at him warmly, smiling that beautiful smile that was only for Thor... He turned his head, squeezing his eyes shut, a frown on his face.  He couldn’t afford to lose focus!  He didn’t want to think of Loki right now, but Clint mentioning him had brought him to the forefront.  The memory of Loki being cornered by Carl came back to him and suddenly, he was fiercely happy that Loki was part of a completely different division and that he wasn’t here right now.  The mere idea of Loki in danger filled him with a panic that even this situation hadn’t done.  He HAD to get out of this.  He HAD to see Loki again.  Hold him again… He hadn’t realized Clint was still watching him.

“It’s in the way you look at him, y’know?” Clint mumbled, drifting off. “Like he holds all the answers to all the secrets in the world…  Jeez, listen to me… must be getting delirious… ’m a fuckin’ poet…” he trailed off, and seemed to be losing consciousness. 

“Clint!” Thor hissed, panic beginning to stir in his chest.  Clint’s eyes fluttered open again.  “m’okay” he said, patting Thor’s hand weakly.  At that moment, Castillo, whose conversation had been getting more and more agitated, yelled in frustration and threw his phone against the wall, smashing it to pieces, then pulled his gun and fired off three rounds at the broken phone.  Bella screamed, squeezing her eyes shut and covering her ears.  Castillo had squeezed the trigger four times, but only three gunshots rang out.  NOW, Thor thought.  He quickly rushed the man, using his body to knock him down.  He grabbed the gun out of Castillo’s hand and threw it across the room, then punched him several times, trying to knock him unconscious.  Castillo still struggled though, the drugs in his system keeping him going somehow.

Thor flipped the struggling man over and got his arms behind his back.  He then stood them both up and moved them to the door and kicked it out.  “I’ve got him!” he shouted from the doorway.  They were immediately surrounded by officers, some taking Castillo away, some rushing into the house to search.  Thor ran back inside, crouching next to Clint as the EMTs arrived.  The other man was ashen and his eyes were closed.  “Clint!”  Thor said forcefully, “Clint, can you hear me?” The whole ordeal had only lasted about 20 minutes, but Clint had lost a lot of blood, and he’d been drifting off…

“Yeah,” he mumbled “Jeez, quit shouting… need sleep… d’we get’im?” 

Thor exhaled quickly in relief.  "He was shot once in the side, no exit wound" He told the EMTs, struggling to speak, since Bella had immediately attached herself to Thor upon his return, holding tightly to his neck.  “What’s this ‘we’ stuff? “he said mockingly to Clint “I did all the work while you were taking a little catnap!”  He watched as they stabilized the wounded man and got him on the stretcher.  “By the way, next time you wanna hang out, let’s just go get a beer or something.  Somewhere they don’t shoot at us.”  Thor said as they loaded Clint into the ambulance.

“He’ll be at Mercy General” one of the EMTs let him know as they were closing the doors.  “They’ll have more information for you there”.  As the ambulance drove away, Thor sighed in relief as he shifted Bella from one arm to the other.  

As he looked at all the activity around him, he considered the situation.  Reports needed to be written.  He would have to be debriefed.  The Narcotics chief would want to talk to him.  But not now.  Now he needed to see Loki.  Irrational as it was, he wouldn't feel completely safe or satisfied until he could look into his eyes. 

The events of today had jolted something in Thor.  This wasn't the first time he'd faced danger.  It's the nature of the job, after all.  In dire situations, he'd repeat a phrase in his head that helped center him: STAY SAFE, STAY ALIVE.  Today, though, it was Loki's voice filling his head, telling him to stay safe.  Every time he'd stared down the barrel of Castillo's gun, adrenaline would surge through his body, filling him with an odd exhilaration and clarity; he needed to stay safe for Loki. He needed to go. Now! 

Thor Signaled one of the EMTs over to hand over Bella, but as soon as he tried, Bella’s cries of protest began as an EMT tried to take her from his arms.  “We just need to check her over, make sure there are no injuries” the woman, said soothingly as she held her arms out.  She had kind eyes and a soothing voice, but Bella would have none of it.  She clung on to Thor tighter, whining “NO!”

“Hey, kiddo, they just want to see if you’re ok.  This nice lady --” Thor looked over at the EMT

“Maggie.” She said.

“—Maggie, she’ll take good care of you.  I promise.” He said as he rocked her back and forth.

“Noooo!  Wanna stay with you!” Bella said as she buried her face into his neck.  Thor sighed, resigned.  "Okay, I'll go with you" he said as they followed Maggie to one of the ambulances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are encouraged and greatly appreciated! :-)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's an extra long chapter! Hope you like it. I won't be posting them as often after this, maybe every couple of days. Sorry, other things get in the way... But GoLikeThat and I are invested in finishing this, so, rest assured, it will continue! 
> 
> Also, check out the new artwork on chapter 19! It's a stony image, which I love!

The street was congested with cars when Loki arrived on the scene.  He pulled his car as close as he could to Castillo's run-down house, but as soon as he opened the car door the unmistakable sound of gunshots rang out.   Loki's heart was in his throat.  Everyone sprang into action.  The whole area was a flurry of activity, so no one paid any attention as he just abandoned his car and ran towards the house.  Loki didn't feel he could move fast enough as he ran, dodging emergency personnel.  "You can't go in there!" A particularly large uniformed cop said to him, blocking his path. 

"I don't fucking have time for this!" Loki practically growled.  As he struggled to get past the man, the front door of the house burst open.  Both men turned to look, and there was Thor, tousled hair, dirty clothes and a growing bruise on his cheek. 

Loki thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.  He stopped struggling and just stared at the door.  Thor had run back in the house after turning over the suspect.  Loki wanted to see him again, wanted to go over every inch of Thor and make sure he was okay.  He was about to run in there when Thor finally reemerged behind Clint and the paramedics.  He relaxed a bit as he took in Thor's strong, confident step, showing he wasn't injured.  His first impulse was to run towards his partner, wrap himself around him and not let go.  He didn’t think, however, that their colleagues would appreciate such extreme PDA, so he held himself back, not trusting himself.  _He could have died_ , Loki said to himself, his heart pounding heavily in his chest. He felt dizzy, cold all over.  _Just like that, he could have died._

Loki stood and watched Thor as he moved purposefully among the emergency personnel, while cradling a little girl in his arms.  He watched the interaction between his partner and the little girl, with growing fondness.  He’d never seen his partner interact with children and was pleasantly surprised by his gentleness and patience.  He felt a warmth in his chest as he watched Thor soothe the child as she was being examined.  Thor was obviously tired, and he should have handed the child over to Child Protective Services, but the child was obviously attached to him, and he’d opted to stay and make things easier for her.  To Loki’s surprise and horror, he felt tears stinging his eyes as he watched the endearing scene unfold.  What is happening to me?  Loki wondered frantically, as he hurried back to his car.  As difficult as it would be, he’d wait for Thor at home, when he could get his emotions under control.  As he drove away, Loki realized his resolve from earlier was going out the window.  The last thing he wanted right now was space between him and Thor.

. o O o .

Thor ran up the stairs to his condo two at a time, too impatient to wait for the elevator.  Since Clint’s car had been collected as evidence by narcotics, He’d bummed a ride from one of the other detectives.  As he ran up the last flight of stairs, he remembered the bargain he’d made with Narcotics director Maria Hill: He’d give her a full report first thing tomorrow morning, if he could go home now and rest.  Rest.  That was the furthest thing from his mind.  The adrenaline from today’s events, mixed with the excitement of seeing Loki again had him completely keyed up.  He’d been told that Loki was on the scene, but he hadn’t seen him anywhere.  He’d tried calling, only to discover that his phone had been broken during his struggle with Castillo. 

He quickly opened the apartment door, his heart pounding in his chest.  “Loki!” he shouted as he hurried into the apartment.  His excitement had been building since he’d left the crime scene, and he was filled with an anticipation even he couldn’t qualify.  As he entered the living room, he finally saw Loki, running into the room as well from the opposite direction.  He was breathing heavily, almost panting, as if he’d been running a great distance instead of just from the bedroom to here.  Loki came to a halt right in front of him and let his eyes travel almost frantically all over Thor’s face and body, trying to take him in all at once, making certain he was okay. 

Thor’s mouth quirked up as he gazed at Loki’s earnest face, his features changed by fear, relief, doubt and happiness, all playing there.  He looked adorable.  Thor could only imagine what Loki had been through when he heard Thor was in danger, and felt a bit guilty at the surge of happiness he felt at realizing that Loki cared that much for him.  He didn’t know how long they stood there facing each other, when Thor suddenly crossed the distance between them and swept Loki in his arms for a bruising kiss.

Loki inhaled deeply in surprise against Thor’s lips, then he pressed his mouth against Thor’s just as desperately, wanting – no -- _needing_ to feel the other man warm and alive against him.  It felt right, like this was exactly where he had to be at this very moment.  Thor’s arms pulling him impossibly close as his tongue pressed at his lips insistently, demanding entrance.

The events of today had added a sense of urgency to their embrace.  It felt very familiar, and yet there was _something_ else.  Thor was fumbling and a bit awkward, and when Loki felt him shaking against him, he pulled slightly away in concern.  He was about to ask, but just then Thor lunged forward, his teeth clicking against Loki’s, his beard scratching his face.  Thor’s tongue was in his mouth, hot and wet and demanding, like this was the only kiss they were ever going to share.  His hands seemed to be everywhere at once, moving all over Loki’s body, alternating between caressing and grabbing.  As he determinedly walked Loki towards the bedroom, his mouth was spreading desperate kisses along his jaw, down his neck, pausing briefly here and there to bite down on his sensitive flesh, sending jolts of desire all through Loki’s body, directly to his rapidly hardening cock.  Loki was dizzy with desire and want.  His entire focus was reduced to this moment, this man, right now.  He wanted this, wanted to be completely surrounded by Thor, and erase the desperation he had felt earlier today when he thought Thor had been hurt. 

In what seemed like no time, Thor had guided them to the bedroom, tugging insistently at both their shirts, trying to get them undressed. 

“Wait… w-we prob- uhhh—probably need to talk!  This wh –mmngh…” Loki groaned as Thor’s talented tongue licked into his mouth, wiping away his ability to speak.

In Thor’s impatience, he gave up on buttons and quickly pulled Loki’s shirt over his head before hungrily bringing his mouth down to Loki’s chest and biting.  Hard.  Loki cried out, digging his fingers into Thor’s shoulders.  He shuddered as Thor licked over the sensitive spot that would surely be a bruise tomorrow.

“Sorry, sorry… I’m so sorry” he mumbled as he continued licking and nuzzling the bruised skin by way of apology.

“No, its okay… bite me” Loki sighed, head thrown back, his breath coming in quick bursts. “I _want_ you to bite me” he said, fisting his hands into Thor’s hair and roughly pulling his head up for a bruising open-mouthed kiss. 

Thor was momentarily floored.  Loki’s words sent a surge of lust through him that he could barely control.  He practically growled as he grabbed Loki’s forearms and slammed him against the nearest wall, while still returning the heated kiss eagerly. 

Thor pressed against Loki roughly, halfway holding him up with his own body.  Loki hauled Thor even closer by the t-shirt he was still wearing, and Thor slid one knee between Loki’s legs, grinding up against his thigh, hard and hot and heavy. Loki gasped and kissed him, kissed him as much as he could, breaking the kiss every few seconds to pant for air.

"Let me go down on you" Thor murmured, low and dirty. "Fuck, Loki, please – I... I want to suck you off… want you to come in my mouth… swallow it all--"

Loki gasped, achingly hard and dizzy with want.  He closed his eyes as the room seemed to spin around him.  He flailed against the wall for balance and Thor braced against him, pressing tighter against him.  “Ye—yeah” Loki breathed, his voice rough and raspy with need.  “Yes, please… anything…”

Hearing this Thor quickly dropped to his knees, ripping Loki’s fly open like it was nothing, then pulling his jeans and briefs all the way down in one quick movement, a wicked, downright lewd smile blossoming on his face, and then, oh god, his mouth!

Time blurred and softened in Loki's mind as he let himself sink into the Sensations of the warm wetness surrounding him.  In those moments where Loki could grasp conscious thought, he marveled at how good -- _how fucking good_ \-- Thor had gotten at this.  For someone who hadn't had any previous experience with guys, Thor had certainly been very eager and enthusiastic to learn, and his favorite subject was Loki.  And he was a quick learner because –oh God!-- Thor was taking him all the way down, making it look easy, pinning Loki’s hips to the wall with one arm, lips wrapped around his cock, head bobbing at exactly the right rhythm, coaxing his pleasure out of him. Thor’s eyes were half-lidded and Loki could feel him moaning, like he was having the time of his life.  He looked down and noticed Thor’s left hand was fumbling at his own pants, and something about knowing that he was getting off on doing this just did something to Loki, sent a tingling rush of heat down his spine, everything going tight and hot and it was perfect.  “T-Thor” he gasped as he tried to push the larger man away “I’m close –“

Thor’s hand squeezed his hip in acknowledgement and Loki shut his eyes and came, shaking helplessly, into Thor’s warm mouth. The blond moved off a little, and Loki watched him swallow, eyes still half-shut in bliss. He pulled off entirely, leaning his head on Loki’s hip, eyes closed, breathing heavily. 

 Loki slowly slid down the wall, grasping Thor’s shoulders, until he was sitting on the floor.  He weakly kicked his pants and briefs off his ankles, struggling with his shoes and socks, until he was free of the tangle of clothes, and had Thor kneeling between his legs.  He pulled Thor into a kiss, licking his own taste out of the other man’s mouth.  “You know, you’re very good at that” he said between kisses. 

 Thor smiled and cast his eyes down, surprisingly shy considering what he’d just done “Well, I aim to please” he said playfully glancing up.  Loki’s arms suddenly wrapped around his neck and pulled his head down to his chest.  “I thought you were dead” Loki said breathlessly into Thor’s hair as he held him tightly.  “When I heard about the hostage thing… then the shooting… I was sure you…” He stopped talking as his voice cracked.  He buried his face in Thor’s hair and inhaled, wanting to take in all of Thor.  “I – I …” The rest of Loki’s words were lost as Thor pushed him onto the floor, climbing on top of him and consuming him in in a fierce kiss. 

“I don’t wanna talk about today” he said between kisses. At this moment, he only wanted to feel Loki, all of Loki on him, wanted to reaffirm that he was alive.  Their kiss quickly became more insistent.  Thor drank him in as though he’d been starving for him.

Loki eagerly accepted Thor on top of him and welcomed the larger man’s bulk, feeling safe under his weight, his cock already beginning to stir at the friction the other man’s writhing was creating.  His expression, however, clouded over with a mix of sadness and distress as a slight frown formed on his features.  Thor hated to think that he had been the cause of anything that would mar that beautiful face.

“Tell you what,” Thor said smiling as he loomed over Loki, trapping the brunet’s body with his own, “We move this conversation over to the bed, and I’ll talk to you about anything you want”

“Anything?”  Loki said, grinning.

“Yep” Thor said as he got up, pulling Loki with him towards the bed.  “I’ll go over every minute detail of today’s events, anything as long as you’re naked” he said, a mischievous smile on his lips as he fell on the bed pulling Loki on top of him, trapping his mouth in a kiss. 

Loki laughed into Thor’s mouth as he straddled the larger man, reveling in Thor’s strength, his muscles rippling under his skin as he moved, and just the absolute happiness and relief of having him here, very much alive and well.

“It seems you’re a bit overdressed for the occasion” Loki said, tugging Thor’s t-shirt up until Thor pulled it over his head.  Loki then brought his hand down and began palming Thor’s very hard length over his pants, reminding him he hadn’t had any kind of release yet.  “Then perhaps I can help you with this… situation” he purred into Thor’s ear as he undid his fly, pulling his pants and briefs off at once. 

Thor’s eyes fluttered shut and he arched his back off the bed.  His already overly sensitized body suddenly felt lit on fire from Loki’s touch.  Every nerve ending tingled, and he emitted a low, guttural, sensual moan that made Loki melt.  He pushed Loki’s hands away and quickly sat up, impatiently pulling off the rest of his clothes before leaning back, half sitting against the headboard.

Loki immediately straddled him and held Thor’s face in his hands and looked – really looked – at him.  Thor’s lips were slightly parted, his eyes glassy and his pupils blown wide in lust. He could still see traces of the laughter form earlier in the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, and the dim light from the single lit lamp in the room bounced off every gold strand of his hair.  Thor looked back with such open desire and affection that it made Loki’s heart stutter.   _Yeah, I’m really in love with you_ Loki thought suddenly.

It’s funny how natural the thought was.  Despite all his best efforts to resist, Loki had fallen in love.  Two things he knew with certainty: he could readily admit this fact to himself, and he would never admit this to Thor.  He was suddenly filled with emotion and horrified to realize his eyes were welling up with tears. 

 “Loki? What is it?” Thor said quietly, concern lacing his words, as he took both Loki’s hands in his and brought them down between them. 

Blinking several times, Loki composed himself and quickly came up with something else to say.  “It’s just been a helluva day” he said with a small smile, shaking his head.  “You dodged a bullet – literally!” he said as Thor barked out a single laugh.  “I was just thinking about what could have happened”.

“Oh, I’ve survived gunshot wounds before” Thor said lightly, waving his hand, trying to play it down and lighten the mood a bit.  “It’s no big deal” He said, missing the pained look and wince that crossed Loki’s face at the statement. 

“Sure, but then there’s the recovery time” Loki said, trying to direct the mood away from heavier subjects.  “There wouldn’t be any of this –“He rolled his hips against Thor’s abdomen, and let out a small moan he was unable to contain “—for at least, what? a week?  Maybe more?  I would have hated to see you miss out,” he breathed, not letting up on the movement of his hips. 

Their open mouths met and ghosted over each other, not in a kiss, just breathing each other in.  Thor grasped Loki’s hips and squeezed, not to impede the brunet’s movements, but simply to connect them further.  His senses were filled with Loki, his touch, his smell, and the taste of him made every inch of Thor ache with yearning.  “Can I have you?” he murmured against Loki’s mouth, his breath coming quickly.  “Please tell me you’ve thought about this” He said as he gripped Loki’s hips tighter and moved him lower on his body, grazing Loki’s ass over his thick cock, illustrating what he meant.  Loki gasped loudly as he was assaulted by the sensations that Thor’s touches were eliciting.  He willed himself to stop their progress, swallowing hard.  “We haven’t really talked about… maybe we shouldn’t just…”

“Oh, I think we should… please… ” Thor mumbled as his lips traveled down to Loki’s neck, nipping at the area below his earlobe that he knew drove Loki crazy.

“I – I…” Loki began, before stopping himself.  He sure as hell wasn’t going to talk Thor out of fucking him!  “O-okay… okay, yeah… yes we definitely should” He said, lunging at Thor, and plunging his tongue deep into his mouth, and wriggling his body over Thor’s, becoming more and more aroused at the friction.

“Wait,” Loki gasped, suddenly thinking practically.  “I haven’t got anything –“ 

“In the nightstand” Thor said as he continued his trail of kisses down Loki’s torso. 

Loki opened his eyes and looked down at Thor “And how long have you been planning this?” he said, amusement coloring his voice.

Thor brought his head lower, burying his face in Loki’s chest.  “I’m a big believer in being prepared” he said.   Loki could feel the larger man smiling.

Loki reached over into the nightstand and pulled out lube and a condom.  He snorted out a laugh as he held them in front of him.  “You were that sure I was gonna put out, huh?”

“I hoped… “Thor began, frowning as he searched for the words “I’ve been wanting… I just didn’t know how to… I still don’t… I didn’t know how to broach the subject.”  He finished, looking Loki in the eye. 

He looked so serious and sincere, it was all Loki could do to not cuddle the man, but now didn’t seem like the right time.

He held Loki’s arms and rolled them so he was above Loki, bracketing him with arms on either side of his head.  “But I want you Loki.  I want all of you, everything that you can offer me” he said as he once again captured the other man’s mouth in a hot, wet, filthy kiss that stole Loki’s breath away, while he pressed his hard cock against Loki’s thigh, grinding against him.

Loki’s mind went blank for an instant.  Thor wanted him.  _Wanted_ him.  He felt giddy as he realized that was what he wanted as well.  He wanted to give everything to this beautiful, pig-headed, wonderful, infuriating man.  Wanted to be completely possessed by him.  As he looked in Thor’s face and registered the barely restrained want there, he realized he’d have to take the lead.  As much as Thor wanted this, he didn’t have any idea how to proceed.  Using all his strength, he flipped the two of them over so he was on top again, looking down at the blond.  “Sure you can handle everything I have to offer?” Loki couldn’t help but tease, as he leaned over Thor and reached for the lube in the nightstand, grinding his cock against Thor’s.  Thor’s jaw dropped and his eyes went wide.  “I… uh, I—“

“Relax, I don’t think you’re quite ready for _that_ ” Loki said with a smirk, climbing off Thor and kneeling next to him on the bed.  “I just need to do some – prepping, before we get started.”  He said as he squeezed out some lube onto his fingers, and, raising himself on his knees, began slicking himself up.  Thor sat up further on the bed against the headboard and grabbed the bottle of lube, not taking his eyes off Loki’s actions, fascinated.  He couldn’t believe Loki was doing this.  In front of him.  To get ready FOR HIM.  He slicked up his cock as his eyes wandered all over Loki, taking in his face, his eyes half-closed in pleasure as he pumped first one, then two fingers into himself, watched as Loki’s body stretched to accommodate them. 

“I feel I should contribute” Thor said faintly, watching in awe, fascinated as Loki worked his fingers in and out of himself.  It was the hottest thing he’d ever seen.  “You seem to be doing all the work”

 “Well, you’ve had a hard day” Loki said grinning between gasps, as he slowly moved his body up and down on his hand.  “Besides, I’m very flexible” he said, arching his back to illustrate his point, then sliding his fingers out, making a bit of a show of it, very aware of his audience.  It seemed to have a good effect, judging from the entranced look on Thor’s face.  He had been pumping his cock absently as he watched Loki, and already pre-come was glistening at the tip.

Loki’s smile was practically predatory as he crawled over Thor and straddled his thighs.  He leaned down slowly and, still keeping eye contact, slowly licked a stripe up Thor’s cock, then taking the head in his mouth and sucking lightly a few times.  Thor panted shallowly as he grasped the sheets on either side of him.  He dug his fingers into the sheets, desperately fighting to keep his control as he watched Loki roll a condom (when had he even opened the condom!?!) over him.  Loki crawled up Thor’s body and leaned down to kiss him thoroughly before lifting himself up on his knees.  He reached around behind him and positioned Thor’s cock at his entrance, never taking his eyes off the other man’s face.  Thor was staring at him, eyes wide with lust, wonder and even fear.  Loki leaned back, supporting himself on Thor’s thighs as he slowly sank down, effectively impaling himself on the hard length, causing both men to groan deeply.  Loki threw his head back as he slowly rolled his hips, setting a slow rhythm, grinding his ass down, thoroughly enjoying the full feeling of Thor deep inside him.

For several long moments, Thor didn’t move, just lay there and gazed up at Loki, his head thrown back, moaning with abandon, strands of his flowing hair sticking to his sweat-slicked skin as he rocked back and forth and – God, he looked glorious! -- This was so much better than he had ever imagined!  He stared wide-eyed, exhaling a long breath and smiling, not knowing how to express how incredibly good it felt to be enveloped by Loki’s tight warmth.  Loki opened his eyes and gazed down at Thor’s, smiled wickedly and clenched down hard around him, eliciting a low throaty growl from the other man.

This spurred Thor to begin moving, and he tentatively snapped his hips up, pushing himself into Loki.  This brought out a sharp cry from the brunet. Thor’s eyes went wide with concern and he immediately stilled.  “I’m sorry!” he said “Are you hurt?” 

Loki leaned forward pressing both palms on Thor’s chest as he gave the man a filthy kiss.  “Don’t you DARE stop!”  He said into his mouth as he began pounding his ass up and down on Thor’s cock. 

That was all the encouragement Thor needed.  He arched up into him, slowly at first, then faster, as Loki pushed back to meet him, while he reached one hand out to grasp Thor’s, interlacing their fingers together.  As they moved, the two men found their rhythm, every thrust hitting Loki exactly right, and he knew this wasn’t going to last much longer.

“T-Thor… “Loki rambled, lost in the sensations of the moment “So amazing, You’re so—“ but Thor pushed into him again and Loki completely forgot what he was going to say, moaning out unintelligible words.

“God, you’re gorgeous” Thor said, staring wildly up at him, eyes blazing.  “Almost there…” he gasped as Loki tightened down around him.  He reached out his free hand and wrapped it around Loki’s cock, jerking him off.  It was fast, and rough… it was perfect, in rhythm with his thrusts.  “Come on baby, I’ve got you sweetheart, come with me” he moaned, his hand moving frantically. “O-oh fuck! Loki!”

And Thor was coming, trembling, still slamming into him, head thrown back, eyes shut.

It was the words of endearment that sent Loki over the edge.  Loki breathed in and out as his own orgasm hit him, heavy and fast and he thought maybe he was gasping Thor’s name as he was coming hard, all over the two of them.

Loki fell on top of Thor, his head coming to rest on the broad chest.  He closed his eyes and listened as Thor’s heartbeat and breathing gradually came back to normal.  As he hay there, catching his breath, he felt the deep rumble of a laugh run under his head and looked up at the bottom of Thor’s jaw. 

“So,” Loki said stretching up to place a kiss below Thor’s chin.  “How was that?” 

Thor threw his hand over his face and rubbed his eyes as he laughed even deeper.  “Fucking amazing!” he said, through his laughter.  He wrapped his other arm around Loki’s shoulders and bulled him in tighter as he shakily lifted his head off the bed and brushed a quick kiss on Loki before dropping tiredly back on the bed. 

Loki smiled at Thor’s response.  He was so happy at this moment that he was tempted to stay just like this, enveloped in Thor.  He knew, however, that matters at hand required him to move, so he pushed himself up on his forearms, and leaned up to place a soft, gentle kiss on his lips.  “Okay… brace yourself” he said and slowly lifted up, effectively pulling Thor out of him.  Thor let out a surprised groan, then a murmur of protest as Loki rolled off of him.  He instinctively rolled too, eyes still closed, following Loki’s body.

“Hold on,” Loki said, holding him at arm’s length “I’ll be back”.  For some reason, Loki always took on the job of cleaning up. Thor held him back, kissing him deeply.

“No, let me,” Thor said, sitting up at the edge of the bed “I got this,” he said, looking back over his shoulder.  He took a few deep breaths, then stood up, wobbling a bit.  “m okay,” he said stumbling to the bathroom.  “be right back”.

Loki watched him leave, then closed his eyes, reliving the moments they’d just shared.  He was so beyond happy that he’d been able to give this experience to Thor, so glad they’d shared this.  He’d always been so careful with his heart and his body, was always very selective who he’d let into either.  After this afternoon he had willingly given everything over to Thor, and Thor had eagerly accepted.  And, God, they were good together!  Loki’s heartbeat quickened as he thought of their joining.  They fit perfectly together, moved in perfect unison, connected as one. Perfect, Loki thought, smiling smugly. 

“Wanna let me in on the joke?” Thor said, as he sat on the bed and began wiping Loki down. 

“No joke.  Just… reliving recent events” Loki said as he stretched languidly, enjoying Thor’s touch.

“Clearly I did a good job if the ‘events’ warrant a re-play” Thor said, smirking.

“Absolutely” Loki said, pulling Thor back down on the bed, kissing him lazily.  He allowed Thor to pull him back into his chest as the larger man spooned up behind him.  Loki laced their fingers together over his stomach and snuggled against him, feeling pleasantly tired and wrung out.  He sighed contentedly as he felt Thor slip into sleep, his breathing becoming even.  But his happiness was short-lived as reality came crashing down.  Loki felt a heaviness in his chest as he remembered: His heart belonged to Thor and Thor would never know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, love love LOVE comments! Please let me know what you think!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Verrry angsty chapter! Hope you like! Also, check out the new art for chapter 17, hot off the presses! Golikethat just finished it, and it's totally worth the wait!

It was late, Thor thought.  Probably about ten judging by the bright sunlight he felt coming through the window.  He opened his eyes and his gaze settled on Loki, sleeping peacefully on his chest.  Thor had protectively thrown an arm across his back in his sleep.  The brunet was snuggled into Thor’s side, his leg hooked over Thor, drawing the larger man’s thigh between his own.  Thor’s eyes went wide with surprise as he realized Loki was half-hard in his sleep.  _Damn_ , he thought as he slowly moved his leg, creating the tiniest bit of friction against Loki’s cock.  _Morning’s gone._   He had hoped to have some extra time with Loki before they’d have to face the rest of the world.  He looked down at his partner, his hair a messy tangle framing his tranquil face.  Thor stared at each one of Loki’s features, amazed at the figure before him.  The beautiful line of his nose, the delicate, almost translucent skin of his eyelids, framed by those impossibly long lashes.  Beautiful, He thought with reverence.  This amazing man was his.  Thor had made him his last night.  Loki had given himself to him, had trusted him implicitly.  The unbidden thoughts shocked him suddenly.  He surprised himself by the undeniable possessiveness he felt towards his partner _._ _It’s gotta be the sex,_ he reasoned with himself.  _Last night was mind-blowing, and this is me, reacting to it._   He could readily admit that he was very fond of Loki, and he loved spending time with him (All kinds of time), but it didn’t mean they owed each other anything, did it?  They were both getting something out of this (dare he say it?) relationship for now, and that’s all that mattered.  Thor was still the same guy he was before, he still had a girlfriend and his regular sex life, and all this experimentation he was getting to do with Loki was just a _really_ great by-product of this assignment.  _But what about Loki’s ‘regular sex life’?_ A little voice in Thor’s head wondered.  He didn’t take the time to ponder further, though.  Loki’s mouth was slightly open, and Thor was suddenly aware of the little gusts of warmth on his skin every time Loki exhaled.  He shivered involuntarily at the surprisingly pleasurable sensation, unintentionally waking Loki. 

Loki scrunched up his face adorably as he opened his eyes, blinking slowly to focus his vision.

“Good morning,” Thor said, smiling fondly and kissing the top of Loki’s head.

“Morning” Loki mumbled as his eyes closed slowly.  He snuggled closer to Thor’s side, looking like he was going to drift back to sleep, when suddenly his eyes popped open.  Thor was rubbing a thigh between Loki’s legs, across his rapidly growing cock.  “Uh, hel--looo… “ Loki said, looking up into the other man’s grinning face “That’s one hell of a wake-up call”

“What?” Thor said in mock indignation. “I was just lying here, minding my own business, when you shamelessly used my body as a tool for your pleasure!”

“Wait, what?  I – didn’t – you –“ Loki’s surprised laughter rang out through the quiet room.  It was a beautiful, low melodic sound. Thor felt a warmth spread through him at the sound, and resolved to try and make Loki laugh as much as possible in the future.

“That’s okay,” Thor said with a smirk, as he slowly flipped them so he was over Loki, never breaking the friction against Loki’s now very hard length “I think I can be persuaded to forgive you for this incident”.  He leaned down and began kissing along his partner’s neck.

Loki’s laughter died on his lips as he gave himself over to the sensations Thor’s body was creating on him.  He had intensified the kisses on Loki’s neck and shoulders, his hands wandered all over his body, setting his flesh on fire with his caresses, all the while torturing him with that incessant friction… Loki’s senses were on overload, and he was so alive with want, that he thrust his hips forward involuntarily, towards Thor’s hard thigh to increase their contact.  The throb of pain he suddenly felt made him cry out, bringing their movements to a stand-still.

The sound along with the grimace of pain that crossed Loki’s face were not lost on Thor.  “Baby!  What—what is it?” He said worriedly, immediately stopping his movements and climbing off of Loki.  He knelt by the brunet, his hands hovering over Loki’s body, not sure if it was okay to touch.  “Talk to me!  What’s wrong?” He said with growing urgency, a tight panic growing in his chest.

Loki just lay there on his back, hands resting on his own abdomen "it's okay" he said, chuckling softly, occasionally wincing at the pain his own laughter caused him.  "I'm okay, really..." He reached out and grabbed Thor's hand, kissing it lightly before bringing it down to rest on his chest. 

"But what was that all about?" Thor said as he gestured with his free hand over Loki's body. 

Loki looked up at Thor, a small smile playing on his lips.  He tried a couple of deep breaths, reacquainting himself with the dull throbbing in his lower regions.  Once he got accustomed to it, it wasn’t entirely unpleasant.  "Well, you know... Since I'd... Last night... What happened..."  He waved his free hand around as he rambled, seemingly unable to finish his sentence.

“And… w-what we did… last night… hurt you?  _I_ hurt you?”  Thor said miserably, sitting back, a stricken look on his face.

Loki laughed a little harder now “Believe me, you didn’t hurt me, Thor.  Quite the opposite.” He said with a smirk. “It’s just -- Loki brought his hand up, rubbing his eyes to order his thoughts “Those activities usually result in _some_ pain and soreness the first time.”

“Loki—“ Thor said quietly, his eyes going impossibly wide

“NO Thor, that wasn’t my first time!”  He said, dropping his hand and rolling his eyes before looking up at Thor, exasperated.  “It’s just been a while since… I’ve had that done to me.  Plus,” he continued, lifting himself up on his elbows, looking up at Thor’s face, then down at his crotch with a decidedly lewd smile on his lips “have you _seen_ what you’re packing?  That thing’s bound to leave a mark.” 

“I—uh—that’s—“ Thor sputtered as he looked down at himself.  His erection, which had softened considerably when he’d thought Loki was hurt, was suddenly back in play, becoming increasingly hard at Loki’s attention.  Thor emitted a low moan as Loki reached over and grasped Thor’s cock, stroking him slowly.  “God, Loki you’re killing me!” he groaned as he leaned back and spread his legs further, giving Loki full access to him. 

Loki took that as an invitation and smiled as he climbed upon Thor, kissing him as he continued to stroke.  “Uh-uh, I’m not done with you yet” Loki said between kisses.  They were both breathing so intensely now, it took a while for them to notice the ringing phone. 

“Not mine,” Thor said distractedly.  “ ‘sbroken… “  The phone eventually stopped ringing and immediately started again.  Loki grunted in annoyance as he continued their kissing.

“Go ahead’n get it… m-might –ahh--be important” Thor said gasping as Loki stoked his thumb over the tip of his sensitive cock.

Loki sighed and slowly pulled away from his partner as the phone started ringing yet again, the fourth phone call in just a couple of minutes.  “Fine,” he grumbled as he crawled over Thor to reach his phone on the nightstand, wriggling his body suggestively as he went.  He winced a little at the twinge in his lower back and hoped Thor didn’t notice.  “But this better be important” he mumbled as he looked at the screen.  It was Captain Rogers.  He turned and leaned his back against Thor’s chest, snuggling into the larger man as a strong arm wrapped around his waist.  “This is Loki.” He said, as his fingers absently drew patterns on Thor’s forearm. 

“It’s about fucking time!  Where the hell have you been?”  Captain Rogers said, sounding agitated.

“It’s Saturday, Cap” Loki said, looking up at Thor with a smile “Thought I’d get at least _one_ day off this week.”

“There’s no such thing as ‘out of contact’ in this job.” The Captain grumbled a bit distractedly.  “Listen, I need to give you a heads up, Thor’s girlfriend is here at the precinct.  She hasn’t heard from him since before the hostage situation.”  Loki’s hand stilled over Thor’s forearm, causing Thor to gaze at him in concern. 

“I’ve tried telling her that he’s fine, and she knows that there’s limited contact when the assignment’s under cover, but she’s well past frantic now.  I told the desk to give ‘er your number, since you two’re together – “ Captain Rogers stopped speaking suddenly.

“Uh, Cap…” Loki said, sitting up straight, not sure where this was going.

“That is,” the Captain stammered “-- uh – I mean, living together – for work – in the same location…“ He seemed to pull himself together, reverting back to his grumpy self.  “So anyway, she’ll be calling you soon.  And for god’s sake, answer your phone!” he grumbled, hanging up.

The line went dead and Loki just stared at the phone screen, not saying anything.  He suddenly felt cold, despite the other man’s warmth surrounding him.  “What?” Thor asked sitting up, still holding Loki close to his chest.  “Do we have to go in?”  When Loki didn’t say anything, Thor assumed he was right.  “Dammit!  I was _held hostage_ yesterday!  Don’t we get a break for that?” 

Loki felt a weight settle in his chest at Thor’s words.  He didn’t miss the ‘we’ in Thor’s statement and was saddened, knowing things would soon change.  He looked up at Thor, wanting to say so many things at once, but the words died in his throat as they were both startled by the ringing phone.  “Here, it’s for you” Loki finally said, handing Thor the phone before turning away.  Thor looked at the phone in confusion, then eyes widened when he read the number.  Loki scooted away from Thor, stood up slowly, and began gathering his clothes.

“Hello Jane,” Loki heard Thor say, as he walked out the door.  He desperately wanted to stay and listen in on the conversation, but decided against it.  Even from across the room, he could hear that woman’s shrill voice, berating Thor for not contacting her. 

Loki closed the door and leaned against it, breathing heavily.  _That was one hell of a reality check_ he thought to himself as he tried to call down.  He couldn’t seem to calm the rising panic in his chest.  _Why am I panicking?_   He thought frantically.  _It’s not like we were caught doing anything!_  But even as he tried to rationalize it, he knew why.  These past few weeks, and especially these past twenty four hours, he’d been deluding himself, letting himself believe Thor was all his, and that nothing else was as important as the two of them.  Last night he had given himself completely, allowed Thor into every part of his heart and soul, assuming Thor was doing the same.  He wasn’t.  Thor had a life.  He’d already given his heart to someone else.  Loki was going to lose him.

“God, I’m such a fucking idiot!” Loki growled as he pushed himself away from the door and stalked over to the second bathroom, quickly stepping into the shower and turning the water to scalding, needing to wash last night off of him.  His hands shook as he lathered himself up. _Get a grip, get a grip, get a grip_ Loki told himself as he showered, his tears mixing with the falling water.  _What were you expecting?_ Loki asked himself harshly as he quickly dressed.  _The girlfriend would disappear just because Thor fucked you?_ Loki was unsteady as he walked to the door, realizations flooding through him all at once. 

That phone call had certainly afforded Loki a lot of clarity.  He now realized he had subconsciously hoped this was all real.  He practically ran down the stairs and into the parking lot, feeling the walls closing in on him.  He could barely breathe, thinking about what an idiot he’d been.  He reached his car and finally took a deep breath.  He sat there for a minute, not sure where to go.  He thought of going to his own apartment, but quickly dismissed that plan.  He’d only lived there a few months, and hardly spent any time there, even before this case started.  If he was being honest with himself, lately he felt more at home in the condo (because Thor’s there, he thought suddenly).  As he drove out of the parking garage, he turned his car towards the police station, his second home.  Maybe work would help clear his mind.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is probably my favorite chapter to date. I had wanted Thor and Loki to talk about their relationship with people other than each other, and what resulted is these two conversations. I'm pretty happy with it, so I hope you like it too! :-)

The precinct was relatively quiet when Loki walked in.  Only a few detectives, trying to take advantage of the weekend to catch up on work, were at their desks.  .  No one paid him any attention as he went and sat at his desk.  He allowed himself a couple of deep breaths before reaching into the 'in' box on his desk and reviewing the papers there.  As he was reading, he heard the captain’s voice calling from across the room. 

“I didn’t think I’d see you in here today” The captain said as he walked up to him. 

Loki’s shoulders tensed as he remembered their phone conversation from earlier.  “Got a lot of things to catch up on, Cap” he said without looking up from the files in front of him, afraid his feelings were plainly written on his face.  He suspected Captain Rogers understood way more about his relationship than he led on, which unnerved him to no end. 

“It was a pretty rough day yesterday,” the Captain said, standing right next to him.  “I think this could’ve waited till tomorrow” he put a hand on Loki’s shoulders, making the other man flinch.  “How – uh – how’s – how’s everything?  How’s Thor doing this morning?” he asked finally, unsure of what questions to ask.

“Fine! He’s great!  He’s fine… fine” Loki rambled, still not looking his boss in the eye.  “He was on the phone with the girlfriend when I left, so I’m sure he’s fine.” He finally looked up at the captain, a strained smile on his face. 

The captain looked at him appraisingly for a moment before speaking. “Come on, let’s get out of here” he said, slapping Loki’s shoulder sharply before walking to the elevator.  “You can buy me lunch to make up for throwing my sandwich on the floor yesterday.” he called over his shoulder.  Loki barked out a single laugh, remembering yesterday afternoon, then got up and hurried to catch up with the captain.

. o O o .

The small cafe was pretty quiet in the early afternoon, the lunch crowd having thinned considerably by now, with only five tables occupied.  Loki and Captain Rogers took a table towards the back, by the window, away from the other patrons.  A young girl promptly came by and took their order of coffee and sandwiches, while a young man gave them place settings and water.  They had chosen a little place only a block away from the precinct, and the walk to lunch had been uncomfortably quiet once they’d settled on where to eat.  Now the captain kept glancing at Loki almost nervously, making him regret having agreed to this outing.  He considered leaving, but his curiosity got the better of him, and he wanted to know what his boss had to say. 

The wait staff finally finished their jobs and the two men were left alone.  “Okay, spill”.  The captain said matter-of-factly, placing both hands flat on the table.  Loki, who had been taking a drink of water, promptly spit some of it on the table.

“Jesus, Loki, I didn’t mean literally!” Captain Rogers said, smirking.

“What’re you talking about?”  Loki said, coughing, trying to catch his breath.

“Tell me what’s been going on at Sapphire Towers.” The captain said as he leveled his piercing blue eyes at Loki, his brow creased in a frown.  “Not with the case, but between you and Thor.”

Loki’s knee-jerk reaction was to feign ignorance, or even flatly deny everything, but the look of concern plainly written on his boss’ face broke his resolve.  He rested his elbow on the table and leaned his face into his hand, covering his mouth as he regarded the captain and considered what to say.  He sat in silence for a few moments, but the captain patiently waited, not rushing the other man. 

“You know.” Loki finally said.  It wasn’t a question, but rather a statement. 

“I guessed” The captain said apologetically.  “After the debrief in my office after you were almost assaulted.  After the two of you left, I thought over our meeting, the way the two of you behaved around each other… the way you _looked_ at each other… then you _held hands!_ ”  The captain said, raising his voice, as he remembered that last detail.

Loki huffed out a laugh.  “Yeah, Thor didn’t think you’d caught that, but I was pretty sure you had.”

“I’ll tell you, if I’d known the two of you were together, I never would have assigned you to this case.  Nothing worse than to work with a loved one – much less a lover!—on a case together.  You tend to lose objectivity, it could get dangerous—“

“Wait, Thor and I, w-we weren’t – we aren’t – we weren’t… together… before this case.” Loki said distractedly.  Upon the captain’s quizzical expression, Loki sighed, closing his eyes.  “This mess started just recently” he said quietly, as he considered his next move.  He raised his eyes and looked the captain in the eye.  “You’re our boss.  I don’t want Thor in trouble.”

The captain returned his gaze steadily.  “No, not here.  Here, I’m just Steve, talking to my friend John.  Talk to me.”

Loki took a deep breath and told Steve the whole story, from their first encounter, right after his confrontation with Carl, to Jane’s phone call that morning.

Neither man said anything for a while after Loki was done speaking, each lost in their thoughts.  The waiter brought their food and drinks, and Loki finally glanced at Steve, looking for some kind of reaction.  His boss met his gaze, his brow furrowed, then he rubbed his face with both hands “Yeah,” the Captain said, breathing deeply “That’s pretty much what I’d feared” he said in a quiet, resigned voice. 

Loki stared down at the coffee cup between his hands, not saying anything.

“What happens now?”  Steve finally spoke, watching Loki. 

“What do you mean?” Loki said sharply, still not looking up.  “We have a job to do and we’re going to do it.  Nothing’s changed.”

“I mean between you and Thor” Steve said patiently “After today, Jane’s phone call, that’s gotta make you re-think the situation…” Steve’s words faded as Loki turned to look at him angrily, brow furrowed.  As Steve regarded Loki, his heart went out to him.  _Shit, it’s too late_ Steve thought to himself.  _He’s in love._   “Loki, think about this.  He’s in a relationship, _and_ he’s straight.  This can’t end well.  For everyone involved, but especially for you."  Loki's angry expression dissolved into one of despair as his captain's words sank in. 

"People can change," Loki said in a small voice, slightly desperately.  "Thor might –“

"He won't." Steve said harshly, firmly cutting Loki off.  “I know when it’s just the two of you, he may say all the right things and make you feel like you really matter.  Hell, he may even tell you he loves you.  But out in the real world?  He’s a macho tough guy with all the stereotypes that go along with it.  He’d never be comfortable acknowledging you as anything more than a co-worker.  And that little scene you ran out on this morning? The concerned, loving girlfriend calling her boyfriend to make sure he’s okay after a dangerous mission?  Get used to it, because it’s going to happen again.  And again.  She’ll always.  Come.  First.” Loki’s face registered surprise at the captain’s cold and bitter tone.  Noticing his reaction, Steve sighed and collected his thoughts before he spoke again.  “I wish I could tell you this was all just a ‘common sense’ lecture I was giving you, but it’s not.  I’m speaking from experience here, so I know what you’re going through” he said, leveling his gaze on Loki’s now shocked expression.

“I, uh,  I – Are you?-- I didn’t kn-know… that – that you…” Loki stammered, his own situation momentarily forgotten as he processed what his boss was telling him.

“What?  That I was a big ole’ homo?”  The captain said, laughing at Loki’s floundering.

“Yeah, I mean – NO!... I mean, I didn’t mean…” Loki continued, red faced, until he just stopped talking, thinking it would be better than putting his foot in his mouth some more. 

“Relax, John.” Steve laughed, patting his shoulder reassuringly “You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack.  To answer your question – I _think_ there was a question in that bundle of words you just spewed out – yep, I’m gay.”

“I had no idea” Loki said wonderingly.  “You never – that is, you don’t… you didn’t fall under my gaydar“  Loki finished lamely, deciding to go with what he hoped was the least offensive remark.  He didn’t know how to continue without sounding somehow insulting.  Even though he was terrified of overstepping and somehow angering his boss, he was reeling at this new information.  His boss was gay!  He felt almost giddy at the thought.  The idea that he might have someone at work he could talk to without worrying about judgments gave him a good feeling.

“Still just Steve and John, two friends talking, right?”  Loki just nodded mutely, and the captain continued.  “It’s not something I advertise.  I’m not out at work, but there are a couple of people that know.  My private life is my business, but I respect that everyone lives their lives their own way.“ He leveled his haze at Loki once again. “I can’t tell you what to do, just share what I went through.  It was when I first started here.  Someone—someone I worked with.  We hit it off and became good friends, but I was attracted to him from the first moment we met.”  His mouth quirked up in a half-smile at the memory “And of course, he figured it out.  I wasn’t very good at hiding my feelings back then.  When he made a move I was all too eager.”  His expression grew serious as he continued.  “He was a married family man with a sterling reputation in the precinct and the community.  I was never going to be more than his dirty little secret, yet I stayed, telling myself it was more.”  He leaned back in his chair, running both hands through his hair, releasing a deep breath.  “It took six months, but I finally stopped kidding myself.  He was never going to leave his wife, and I was just something to relieve his curiosity.  After a while I moved on with my life.  I got lucky.  I met a wonderful man who I’m crazy about and who loves me just as much.”  A soft private smile crossed his features as he thought of his partner “We’ve been together ten years, and I’ve never regretted it for a moment.  Knowing that at the end of the day, he’s going to be there, to listen to me gripe about my day, have dinner with me, sleep in my bed… nothing compares to that.”

Loki didn’t move, his unfocused gaze directed at a point across the room, processing everything his boss had told him.  “I want that” he said suddenly, surprised by how _right_ the statement felt. “Everything you just said, I want that too…” Loki said, his voice trailing off as the pieces started falling into place, like a puzzle he’d been trying to solve.  He wanted a home and a relationship.  The security and certainty of someone by his side through the good and the bad.  He wanted to share his life with someone… with Thor.  “I want all that with Thor” Even as the words left him, though, he knew how impossible it was.  Loki felt a heavy weight settle in the pit of his stomach as he remembered Steve’s story.  It was never going to happen for them.  He needed to wise up.

The captain watched the play of emotions move across Loki’s face.  “Loki?  John?”  He said reaching over and placing a hand on Loki’s arm “You alright?” Loki looked into the blue eyes full of concern gazing back at him and smiled. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He picked up his coffee cup and downed the now lukewarm liquid, ignoring his food.  “I’ve gotta go” he said standing, pulling some cash out of his pocket and dropping it on the table.

“Hey, no, don’t worry about it” Steve said, trying to make Loki take his money back. 

“I owed you lunch, remember?”  Loki said, smiling.  “Besides, I think our talk was worth at least _two_ sandwiches” he said as he pushed his plate towards Steve. “Seriously, thanks.  Thanks for trusting me enough to share your story with me.  It helped.  A lot.”

“What’re you gonna – you know what?  Never mind” Steve said quickly, “None of my business.  I think I’ve done enough talking for one day.  Do what you need to do, and I’ll be here if you need me.”

Loki smiled down at his boss, gripping his shoulder once, before walking out, back to the precinct and to his car.

. o O o .

That strong, clean, sterile smell hit Thor as he walked down the hospital hall.  When he’d called the hospital to check on Clint’s status, he’d been told he was doing well, but he would rest easier seeing it for himself.  Besides, it would help get his mind off this mess with Loki.  He involuntarily shuttered as he remembered the events of this morning.  Never had things gone from ‘so fucking amazing’ to ‘so fucking horrible’ so quickly.  Jane’s inopportune phone call had hurt Loki, and Thor knew he had to make amends somehow, he just didn’t have the first clue how. 

He reached Clint’s room but didn’t enter, noticing the doctor was in with him.  Standing out in the hall, he wondered once again where the hell Loki was. After he had gotten Jane off the phone that morning, Thor had rushed out of the bedroom in search of him, but he was gone.  At first, he’d been rather relieved, not really sure of what he’d even _say_ to Loki, but now, four hours later, he wasn’t so sure. 

As the busy sound of the hospital surrounded him, Thor racked his brain.  He’d already been to Loki’s apartment and the precinct. _Where else could he be?_   He thought a little desperately, willing himself to control the panic welling inside.  _He has to understand, right?_   _It’s not like Loki didn’t know about Jane.  She’s my girlfriend, for Godsakes!  That gives her certain rights, and I can’t just ignore her!  What he and I have…_ Unbidden, images of the previous night’s activities sprang to mind, jolting Thor with surprise.    _Well we’re just having a good time.  It’s not like there’s anything more to it!_   As he watched the doctors leave Clint’s room, Thor grew more and more confident in his line of reasoning.  _We get along so well, and in such close quarters, it was inevitable that we’d get together, right?  Loki can’t possibly think there was anything more to it_ Thor told himself with certainty, satisfied that Loki would agree with him.  His good feeling momentarily dissipated as he remembered the look on Loki’s face that morning when he had handed him the cell phone.  He had looked so stricken and sad. _Heartbroken_ his mind supplied.  Thor didn’t get a chance to ponder this too much, though as he heard Clint’s voice ring out from within the room.

“If you’re lurking out there, hoping to sneak a look at my junk, you’re outta luck pal, I already had my sponge bath” Thor smiled at the joke and walked into the room.  He saw Clint sitting up in bed, TV remote in one hand, and a glass of juice in the other.  He still looked a little pale, the after-effects of yesterday’s trauma, but his brilliant smile was cocky as ever, and Thor relaxed as he realized his old friend would be okay.

“I wanted to give you a chance to cover up.  I know how you never miss a chance to be an exhibitionist” Thor said grinning.  He placed a hand on Clint’s shoulder “How’re you feeling, then?  Any permanent damage?”

“Nah, the bullet seemed to go out of its way to miss anything important, so once they got it out, I was golden.”  He grinned as he gingerly patted his bandaged side “I’m gonna have a couple of new scars to add to the collection, though.  That’s gotta add to my tough-guy cred.  Certainly won’t hurt my game with the ladies” He said with a leer.

Thor snorted out a laugh.  They’d both been worried yesterday, and that had been a close call, but they wouldn’t talk about that.    He knew Clint’s jokes and flippant attitude were a show, and he’d follow along, cuz that’s how they’d always handled this sort of thing.

“How about you?” Clint asked “Any lasting damage?  Did you ruin your pretty manicure doing actual police work?” 

“Keep it up,” Thor said halfheartedly as he sat in the chair next to the bed  “and I’ll change my mind about buying you that drink.”

“Aw, shit, there goes our date night!”  Clint said, in mock despair. 

“You’re such an ass!” Thor said with a laugh.  “You know, any other guy spoke to me like that, I would’ve already thrown them out that window” he said, gesturing at the wall. 

“Really?  _Any_ other guy?”  Clint said smirking. 

Thor’s smile slipped off his face and he sat up straight, as if preparing to run.  He hadn’t been sure just how much Clint remembered from the previous day’s conversation.  He _had_ been pretty out of it, after all, but with a few simple words, Clint had broached the subject Thor had been dreading.  “I—I just—didn’t –“ Thor stuttered “you were pretty out of it yesterday… you were rambling and saying all sorts of crazy things…”

“Dude, breathe!”  Clint said, chuckling.  “Shit, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” his mirth tapered off as he considered Thor’s wide-eyed almost shocked expression.  “Look, I guessed, okay?  Say what you want, but this is _me_ you’re talking to.  I’ve known you forever!  Seeing you together at the precinct yesterday… I can read you like a book, you know.  I can tell when you’re hot for someone.  I’ve been around _that_ before – just – never when it was for another guy!  I don’t think anyone else could tell, though” he added quickly, seeing Thor’s glance snap back to him. 

They sat in silence for a moment, both men not sure how to continue.

“So, do you wanna talk about it?”  Clint said haltingly. 

“About what?” Thor said, not looking at his friend.

Clint threw his hands up, exasperated.  “Look this isn’t easy for me, okay?  Cut me some slack!  I don’t know where to go with this either, I just thought I might be able to help.”  Thor finally hazarded a quick glance at his friend.  He noticed Clint was fidgeting, looking like he would rather be anywhere else but here.  He met Thor’s gaze unflinchingly, though, and smiled.  “I won’t lie to you and say I’ll accept and understand everything you tell me, but you’re my best friend, and I’m here for you.  Besides,” Clint said, one of his signature smiles gracing his face “I’m so hopped up on pain killers right now, I doubt much could shock me right now”.

“We’ll see about that” Thor said, looking away nervously.

“What?” Clint huffed out a laugh “So you’re attracted to this guy.  Big deal.  He’s pretty hot.  Even _I_ can see that!  Plus they’ve got you playing house for the investigation?  That’s gotta mess with your head.” 

Thor peered at Clint intently, his nervousness momentarily forgotten.  _Could it really be possible?_ Thor Thought, his mind reeling  _Is Clint really this okay with me and Loki?_ He felt suddenly lighter at the possibility of his best friend understanding.  “You… aren’t – I don’t know… _freaked out_ about it?” Thor ventured.

Clint sighed and pursed his lips, frowning in what Thor had come to recognize as his ‘thinking’ face.  “Look, this is all just because you’re around the whole _gay_ thing.  Just remember this: you’re neck-deep in a culture where guys fuck guys!” Clint said, shuddering at the though.  Picture _that_ for a minute and that’ll bring you back to reality.  Just remember that’s not you.  You’re not into dick.  Just keep your nose to the grindstone and close the case.  This Loki seems like a pretty good guy, but I don’t know if I’d tell him about your… what would you call it? _Crush_ ” Clint said wincing “There’s no telling how he’d take it...”  The lightness Thor had been feeling suddenly abandoned him as he heard Clint’s last words.  He tensed his shoulders and quickly glanced at his friend.  “…unless he already knows” Clint said hesitantly, seeing Thor’s reaction. 

Thor put his elbows on his knees and leaned his face into his hands, vigorously rubbing his face as he tried to stamp down the panic he was feeling.  “We’re sleeping together.” He said suddenly, leaning back in the chair and staring straight ahead, deciding to just get it out in the open.  “We’ve _been_ sleeping together for a while, so yeah, he knows”

“Oh. Uh – oh… _OH_ ” Clint said, his blue eyes open impossibly wide, his mouth gaping like a fish out of water.  The expression was so comical that Thor would have laughed had the situation been any different.

Neither man said anything for a good five minutes.  Thor thought about breaking the silence a couple of times and ask his friend what he was thinking, but decided to let him be, considering it a good sign that Clint hadn’t immediately kicked him out of his room.

“Well… Shit.” Clint finally said, looking at Thor.  “What the fuck are you doing?” he said seriously, completely out of character for him.

“You want specifics?” Thor said mockingly, still staring at the wall, determinedly _not_ looking at Clint.

“That’s not funny” Clint said harshly, sitting up as straight as his bandages would allow, wanting to convey his concern to his friend.  “So what, you’re gay now?”

“I’m. Not. Gay.” Thor ground out through clenched teeth, not moving.

“So this is some kind of ‘experiment’ you’re conducting?  ‘Hmm, sucking dick sounds interesting, and while we’re at it, let’s see what it’s like to fuck a guy?’ Is that it?” Clint said mockingly, not bothering to disguise the disdain in his words.  “So what about Jane?  Does she know?”

It was that comment that suddenly spurred Thor out of his reverie.  “Fuck no!” Thor boomed, standing up and advancing towards Clint in a menacing manner.  “This has nothing to do with her!” 

“Oh, think again my friend!  This has EVERYTHING to do with her!” Clint countered, not flinching at the larger man looming over him.  “Did you think this through at all?  About what it would do to her if she found out?”

Thor sank back into the chair, seeming to deflate at Clint’s words.  He leaned his elbows on his knees once again, suddenly looking very tired.  “I’m not going to hurt her Clint” he said quietly.  “This is just… nothing.  It’s nothing, okay?”  He stood and walked to the window, just to have something to do.  “I can honestly say I’d ever thought about it… _that_ … a guy before this case, but since knowing Loki… just…“ he squeezed his eyes shut and quickly shook his head, attempting to clear it.  “shit, I don’t know... I started thinking about… the possibilities…” He finished, tapering off, lost in thought.

“Oh my god,” Clint said quietly, pulling Thor back to the here-and-now.  Thor turned with a start, suddenly realizing how he must have sounded to his friend.  He looked at Clint, took in his shocked, almost horrified expression, and knew he had to backtrack. 

“Hey, you said it yourself man, I’m surrounded by this every day, living with a gay guy 24/7!”  He walked towards his friend, hands spread out, almost in a pleading gesture.  “It doesn’t mean anything, we’re just messing around, relieving some stress.  Hey, blowjob’s a blowjob, right?”  He attempted a casual smile even as he winced inwardly, the words sounding hollow even to his own ears. 

Clint regarded him warily as he considered his words.  “So… this… what does this mean?  Are you and Loki a thing now?”

“No!” Thor said with a laugh, sitting back in the chair. “It’s not like that.  It was just something I was curious about, that’s all” The smile he had plastered on his face felt more and more forced by the second.

“Dude, read a book, watch some porn!  Fuck!” Clint said, running his hands through his hair.  He glanced around the room, searching for something, anything to focus on, as he struggled to come to terms with his friend’s revelation.  “So, you… you guys… you’ve been… what’ve you… never mind, second thought, I _don’t_ wanna know what you guys have been up to”  Thor laughed once, and glanced up at Clint, who was smiling tentatively.  “Look, whatever you and he are up to over there –“

“It’s done, Clint” Thor said with finality. “It’s in the past now.  I have a girlfriend, and Loki understands that.  It’s not happening again”

“—whatever you’re up to,” Clint continued “just be careful –“

Thor let out a startled chuckle “are you seriously giving me a ‘safe sex’ talk right now?”

“Aaargh!  Nononono!” Clint said, closing his eyes and shaking his head, stretching his arms out in front of him as if pushing away something unpleasant.  “I’m not prepared to go there yet, maybe not ever!  I’m just saying, if you’re just messing around, and you’re both consenting adults, then do whatever you want, just make sure you’re both on the same page.” Clint leaned in and looked Thor in the eye “Like I said, I’ve known you a long time.  I’ve been around for a lot of your relationships.  _A lot._   What I saw yesterday… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that happy”

Thor stood up quickly, suddenly feeling like he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs.  “I’d better get going, let you get your rest” He said, stepping towards the door.

“Hey, hold on” Clint said sharply, reaching out and grabbing Thor’s arm.  Thor stopped and turned to look at Clint, startled by his tone.  “We’re okay, right?”  Clint asked.

“You tell me” Thor said, visibly relaxing at his friend’s question.

“You’re my best friend, that’s all I know.” Clint said, loosening his grip on Thor’s arm.  “And you’ve seen me through a lot of messed up shit, so, now, I’m here for you.  – Just stay away from my dick, and we should be ok.” He added, flashing his patented Clint smile. 

“You really are an ass, you know that?”  Thor laughed, shaking his head as he walked out the door. He walked quickly out of the hospital and through the parking garage, towards his car, with only one thought on his mind, to get home to Loki.  He got a handle on his breathing, but his heart was still pounding in his chest.  He wasn’t sure why, but he had the unsettling feeling that he had somehow betrayed Loki today. _I didn’t say anything to Clint that wasn’t the truth_ , he told himself.  This was always just temporary.  But even as he thought the words, he drove faster, towards the condo, an irrational part of his brain fearing that Loki might not be there.  I just need to touch base with him, see if he’s made any headway on the investigation today, he thought, effectively ignoring the fluttering in his stomach that just the memory of his face brought on.  He told himself that the anticipation he felt was completely work related, and not the prospect of holding him in his arms.  No, definitely not. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** Check out the new artwork from GoLikeThatCat! It's beautiful! Also, check his work out on tumblr or deviantart. ***
> 
> Okay, I hope this chapter alleviates some of the angst I caused in the last one! We're heading towards some kind of resolution-- not the end of the story yet, mind you, but... well we'll see... I hope that didn't sound too cryptic! Hope you like it!
> 
> Plus, new artwork for chapter 21 just went up! Please go check it out and let me know what you think.

It was a beautiful day out, and the exclusive condo afforded a gorgeous view of the park, but it was lost on Loki as he paced the living room back and forth.  He was barefoot, in sleep pants and a t-shirt, the product of having been doing yoga for the past hour.  He’d tried meditation and now, as he finished his second cup of calming tea, he had to admit to himself that he was running out of relaxation techniques.

Loki put down his mug and continued pacing, giving up all pretense of trying to calm down.  _God, I am such a fucking idiot!_   He berated himself, going over the events of the past month.  In the back of his mind, he always knew he was kidding himself, but it took the captain’s ( _Steve’s_ he reminded himself) story to make him snap out of it.  What am I doing here?  Thor’s never gonna change! He told himself as walked mindlessly, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides.  He admitted to himself now that he had been harboring a secret fantasy of Thor falling in love him.  “She’ll always. Come. First.”  Steve’s words rang in his ears as he paced through the apartment.  Loki stopped and just dropped into the nearest chair, exhausted by the barrage of emotions his realization had brought.  Steve was right.  To Thor, he would never be more than this.  His ‘dirty little secret’.  A heaviness settled on Loki’s chest as he told himself that, if he was honest with himself, he’d always kind of known this to be true. 

A sharp knock on the door roused Loki out of his thoughts.  _Thor must have forgotten his key_ , Loki thought as he rose slowly, dreading the conversation he was about to have.  He took a deep breath, steeling himself as he opened the door, only to jolt back in surprise.  “Eric!” he said, addressing the older man standing before him. “I wasn’t expecting you!”

“Oh dear,” Eric said mildly, taking in Loki’s startled expression “Have I come at a bad time?  Am I interrupting something?”

“No, no.” Loki said, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot “I was just… expecting someone else.  Please, come in!” he said, suddenly remembering his manners.  He stepped away from the door, allowing room for Eric to enter.  The older man walked in, managing to make even that movement seem entitled.  “What can I do for you?” Loki said closing the door behind him. 

“You can give me the opportunity to take care of you.” The older man said simply, leveling his gaze at Loki, choosing to remain standing. 

“Um, excuse me?” Loki said dumbly, not really sure where this was going.

“Let’s lay our cards out on the table, Loki.” Eric began, walking around the living room as he spoke.  “You know that I’m the one sponsoring the precinct’s investigation” he said, ignoring Loki’s surprised expression.  “What you may not know is that I also requested you for this case, with the express intention of getting to know you.” He stopped his movement to face Loki, gauging his reaction.

“Yes, I do know about the sponsoring,” Loki said slowly, regarding Eric curiously.  “And I inferred the rest, considering our previous encounters” he said, raising an eyebrow, daring the older man to object.

“Yes… I do apologize for that” Eric said, managing to sound contrite.  “I was completely taken by you, but that’s no excuse for me to behave so atrociously.”  He moved until he was standing directly in front of Loki, close enough to touch, yet still respecting his personal space.  “I’d like to start over with you, with no secrets or hidden agendas.  I admire your intelligence and your work ethic.  You are a dynamic and interesting person, and I’d like the opportunity to court you.”  He remained silent for a few moments, waiting for the words to sink in.  Loki gaped, surprised at the declaration.

“W-what – what are you saying Eric?” Loki said, not really knowing what to say.

“I am an important, powerful man in this town” Eric continued, holding Loki’s gaze. “I frequently attend functions where require a plus one, and it would be to our advantage for me to have you on my arm”

“Our advantage?” Loki said weakly, not sure what to say.

“I always insist on nothing but the best, and, in this situation, the best is you.” He said, finally smiling.  “I am very attracted to you, Loki.  I won’t delude myself into believing that you feel the same, but you must see the advantages that dating me can give you.  Just imagine the possibilities,” he said, reaching out and lightly stroking the detective’s arm. 

The touch to his arm seemed to snap Loki back to the present.  “I’m not for sale Eric, but thanks for the offer” he said sarcastically, jerking away from the other man. 

Unaffected by the rebuff, Eric smiled mildly.  “I’m not offering anything untoward, Loki” he said, moving towards the door.  “I’m just asking you to consider it.  This situation won’t last forever, and there’s no guarantee that your current… _arrangement_ will continue outside the Sapphire Towers.” He said, his hand on the doorknob. 

“Arrange – what do you – there’s no – “ Loki tried, but couldn’t seem to finish a sentence, panicking as he realized Eric was talking about Thor.

“Have your fun,” Eric said over his shoulder, walking out the door.  “After all, who can blame you?  Just remember who he is.  I’ll be here when you’re ready.” He called out, walking away, leaving a shocked Loki standing in the doorway. 

After closing the door, Loki leaned against it, pondering Eric’s words.  _So now this guy wants to date me? – No – court me?_   Loki thought a bit hysterically.  _How is this my life right now?_   He asked himself as a laugh escaped his lips at the absurdity of it all.  His mirth was short-lived, though, as he suddenly heard the unmistakable click of the keycard in the door slot, signaling Thor’s return.  He jumped away from the door and turned to face it, the anticipation of seeing Thor walk through that door suddenly making it difficult to breathe.  Despite the emotional roller coaster he’d endured that day,  knowing he was going to see Thor at that moment filled him with such happiness and… just… relief!  At that moment, Loki realized that nothing else mattered.  Phone calls from Jane, and Steve’s warnings, and that douchebag Laufeyson, that all existed outside.  In here, in these four walls, He and Thor existed together, and that would have to be enough.  Loki could now freely admit to himself that he was in love with Thor.  (Funny how almost losing Thor had pushed that thought to the forefront!)  He would take what Thor was willing to give him

“Loki!” Thor said in a startled voice, suddenly finding himself face-to-face with his partner as he opened the door.  “I’ve been looking all over for you!  Where did you go?” He said, quickly rushing over and grasping Loki by the forearms. “Wait, no, never mind.” He said, speaking quickly, not letting Loki get a word in edgewise.  “I don’t care where you’ve been.” He said drawing his hands up to cup Loki’s face “I’m so, so sorry about this morning,” he said, intense blue eyes boring into green ones.  “I wanted to explain… to talk to you this morning… but you left… before I could talk… I mean before you could ta –“ Thor’s words were suddenly cut off by Loki, surging forward to share a searing kiss.  He wrapped both arms around Thor’s neck tightly, leaving no question as to his intentions.  He quickly darted out his tongue, seeking entrance to Thor’s mouth, wanting to taste and connect once again. 

At first, Thor was struck dumb by Loki’s actions.  Of all the possible scenarios he thought he’d encounter, this was certainly NOT one of them!  He had been gearing himself up for a long talk, possibly fighting, maybe tears, but not kissing.  He caught up quickly though, enthusiastically kissing back, while wrapping his arms around Loki’s back and picking him up, walking him backwards until they tumbled onto the couch.  There were a million questions rushing through his mind, and he knew there were things that had to be talked about, but all thoughts flew out the window save for the feel of Loki’s body writhing under him, causing delicious friction in all the right places, making Thor lose himself in sensation.

In a daze, Thor watched, fascinated as Loki squirmed out of his clothes, while still under him.  His insistent hands quickly moved on to Thor’s shirt, pulling it over his head.  It was Loki’s hands tugging at his fly that finally brought him back to the present. “W-wait… Loki… “ he stuttered, trying sit up and put some distance between the two of them. “I—I thought you – don’t you – don’t you want to talk?” He said breathlessly, exerting energy from trying to capture Loki’s eager wandering hands.

“Sure, let’s talk,” Loki said mildly, the slight tremor in his voice betraying how aroused he really was.  “Let’s talk about getting you naked!” He growled, renewing his efforts of getting at Thor’s pants. 

“N--no, Loki…” Thor tried again, grasping Loki’s hands, bringing the two up to a sitting position “You—you really don’t want to talk about it?” he said cautiously, glancing at Loki over their clasped hands, becoming increasingly distracted by Loki’s nakedness.

Upon hearing Thor’s hesitant tone, Loki stopped trying to undress him and sat back, pulling his hands from Thor’s to run then through his hair as he took a deep breath, considering his words. “No,” he finally said, turning to Thor with a slight smile on his face. “We don’t have to talk about it.”  He noted Thor’s frowning face and continued “Look, I know it got weird this morning, what with the phone call and all…” He looked down at the floor, embarrassed to meet his partner’s eyes “I kind of freaked out, I know.  But believe me, I’m okay now.”  He reached out and carded his fingers through Thor’s hair, causing the larger man to lean into the touch “This – this… thing between us—“ Loki said, gesturing between the two “is just that… between us.” He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Thor’s lips.  “All I know” he said, leaning in and kissing Thor again, more deeply and intensely now, moving to straddle Thor’s lap, not breaking the kiss for a while.  “All I know is I want you” His voice lower as he let himself be overcome with lust, reaching down and grasping Thor through his pants.  “and you want me, right?”  He squeezed down a little, eliciting the most amazing noises from Thor.  “It doesn’t have to be anything more than that, just you and me, taking what we want.”

The combination of Loki’s words, along with his touch was enough to set Thor ablaze with want.  He quickly took the lead, flipping Loki over on his back, covering him with kisses as he removed the rest of their clothes, then settling himself between his partner’s legs.  Loki eagerly responded to all of Thor’s touches, running his hands all over Thor, reveling in their nakedness.  He quickly wrapped his legs around Thor’s waist, wantonly moving his hips, making no secret of his desire.  Every movement he made caused Thor’s hardened cock to graze at his entrance, making both men’s eyes roll in the back of their heads. 

The rumble in Thor’s chest grew as Loki continued the amazing friction, while simultaneously gripping Thor’s hair and devouring his mouth in desperate kisses.  “God, I want you…” Thor panted in between kisses “wanna be inside you…” he growled as his hands traveled lower, over the swell of his butt, fingertips grazing the crease of Loki’s ass.  Loki gasped in surprise upon feeling the touches, which started tentatively, then became bolder with each stroke.  Loki was hyper-aware of every move Thor’s hands were making, in danger of spontaneously combusting from the onslaught of sensations.  He moaned loudly, losing himself to the moment, shamelessly spreading his thighs as much as possible, offering himself to Thor.  Thor had never done this before, but his light tentative touches had Loki writhing and panting, completely surprised at being this far-gone from just this.

Suddenly, Thor’s touches disappeared, making Loki whimper in protest, before he was being pulled up in one swift movement, ending up straddling Thor’s lap.  “Well?” Loki panted in between placing sloppy kisses all over Thor’s neck “What are you waiting for?” he said as he rutted against the man, the feel of Thor’s hard length against his heat driving him slowly mad.

“Not here.” Thor said, breathing heavily and, god he was wrecked!  He swallowed twice before he was able to speak again. “Bed.” He said, moving to stand up.  He had expected Loki to untangle himself and walk, never liking to be carried, but Loki only tightened his grip around Thor’s neck and waist, plastering himself to Thor’s chest. 

“Let’s go” Loki said with a smirk, gazing at Thor, desire apparent in his eyes.  It was all the encouragement Thor needed.  He stood on shaky legs and walked the two into the bedroom, collapsing on the bed with Loki under him, careful to not put all his weight on the smaller man. 

Thor wasted no time, surging down and attacking Loki’s mouth with his.  He wrapped his arms around Loki, holding their bodies close as his tongue explored his mouth.  He ground himself against the hardness pressed against him, as he swallowed Loki’s moans with his own, bringing his hands down to his partner’s thighs, trailing a path towards his ass once again.  Loki immediately wrapped his legs around his waist, welcoming him once again.

“May I?” Thor whispered, continuing his kisses as his fingers tentatively touched Loki.

“You sure?” Loki said hesitantly, pulling away slightly to look Thor directly.  “I can… I can take care of –“ Loki started, reaching into the nightstand, in search of the lube.

“No, I want to” Thor said, voice slightly wobbly, as he took the little bottle from Loki.  His fingers trembled as he struggled with the cap, his brows furrowed in frustration.  His expression was so adorable, it made Loki fall in love with him all over again.

“Here,” Loki said, reaching out and taking the bottle in slightly-less shaky fingers, getting it open and squeezing some into Thor’s hand.  He stared down, rubbing his fingers together, seemingly mesmerized.

Taking a deep breath, he reached a hand down, hesitantly rubbing a slicked finger along Loki, following his movements with his eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He said earnestly, looking up at Loki “Please tell me if I hurt you”

“You won’t hurt me” Loki panted, throwing his head back and laying his forearm over his eyes.  He lay on his back, knees bent, thighs spread apart, with feet planted on the bed, as Thor proceeded to touch him, lightly and carefully, fingers barely ghosting over his most sensitive flesh.  After a few moments of this, though, Loki thought maybe Thor was trying to kill him with teasing.  As he writhed, toes curling into the bedspread in frustration, he didn’t think Thor was doing it on purpose, but the hesitant touches were in serious danger of killing him right now. 

“Just… just tell me if—“ Thor started

“Oh fuck, Thor,” Loki panted in frustration “just do it!” he growled, pushing down, effectively taking Thor’s finger inside.  They both gasped at the sensation, Thor eventually moving his hand, slowly pressing in and out of Loki, first with one then two fingers.  Thor was completely focused on his actions, staring intently at his hand, slowly moving down Loki’s body, taking Loki’s cock in his mouth, driving him crazy with his tongue.

It was surreal, having Thor touching him like this.  It was probably just a few minutes, but to Loki it felt like hours were passing as he stretched him.  He completely lost track of time, all senses centered on Thor’s movements.  He was completely unable to do more than pant and squeeze around him as he gazed down at Thor, his legs starting to tremble with the strain. 

“I’m ready baby” Loki whispered, placing his hands on Thor’s shoulders, trying to pull him up. “Please,” he breathed.

“Okay,” Thor said gravely, slowly pulling his fingers out.  He moved over Loki, grasping his ass to tilt him up, drawing his legs over his shoulders.  His brow was once again furrowed in concentration as he lined himself up against Loki, his expression making Loki huff out a laugh though his haze of lust.  Thor looked up, surprised at the sound, but then smiled as he met Loki’s eyes, a world of understanding passing between them.  He leaned in and kissed his partner tenderly before he slowly started to slide in, making them both groan. 

Thor’s breath quickened as he pushed in slowly, wanting to give Loki time to adjust, while at the same time reveling in the tight heat that slowly enveloped him.

“God, you feel so good,” Thor murmured, mouthing open-mouthed kisses on Loki’s neck.  He looked down to where they were joined as he rocked back and forth, pressing deeper with every stroke, until he was completely seated in his partner.  He held still, trembling with the effort as he gazed down at Loki.  “Jesus, look at you… you’re gorgeous, you know that?” Thor said, speaking before even thinking about it. 

Loki simply huffed out a laugh between pants, ducking his head to his chest, as he dug his fingers tightly into Thor’s forearms.  He rocked his hips forward, encouraging Thor to move, and when he finally did… God, he was completely lost.  Thor began thrusting, slow but hard.  He pulled out nearly all the way before his hips snapped back in and god, he loved the moans he was getting from Loki! 

Thor leaned down and captured Loki’s lips in a wet kiss as he reached down and grasped Loki’s dick, stroking him in time with his thrusts, using Loki’s pre-cum to help in the slide.  Loki moaned into the kiss, bringing his legs down and wrapping them tightly around Thor’s waist.  He pushed up to fuck himself into Thor’s hand, while thrusting back into his cock, and he almost couldn’t take it, the sensations quickly driving him over the edge. 

Loki arched upwards as he came, his vision whiting out as he clung tightly to Thor’s forearms.  He tightened his thighs against Thor as the larger man drove into him with a few erratic movements, before he tensed and had his own release, groaning against his throat, shaking apart above him. 

The two clung to each other as their breathing returned to normal, sharing slow soft lazy kisses and idle caresses.  “We should probably get up and shower” Thor said, nuzzling Loki’s neck because… well because he _could!_

“Or we could just stay here… go to sleep…” Loki murmured sleepily, cuddling into Thor, enjoying the closeness. 

“What!?! No shower?” Thor said in mock surprise “But Loki, you’re filthy!” he said with a smile.

“And you love it!” Loki said, draping himself over Thor’s chest and kissing him deeply.  “Come on, we’ll deal with it tomorrow” he said, laying his head on Thor’s chest, and falling asleep to the sound of his partner’s heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, we welcome all your comments!! Let us know how we're doing!


	26. Chapter 26

Breakfast was Loki’s favorite meal to prepare.  But then, he was a fan of any meal where sugar could be a major component.  He stood at the stove, hair still damp from his shower, clad in only pajama pants, putting the finishing touches on a batch of banana nut pancakes.  He had heard the water in the shower shut off and knew he would soon be joined by Thor, so he stepped up his efforts, a thrill of anticipation running through him at the prospect of seeing his partner again, fresh out of the shower… skin still moist… maybe just a towel around his waist… okay, yeah, I’m pathetic!  Loki thought, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration.  He smiled to himself when he felt two strong arms wind around his waist, and warm breath brush against his neck.

“You showered without me,” Thor scolded mildly, running his hands over Loki’s bare chest. “You should have woken me up” He murmured as he kissed along his temple and ear.

“Um, I needed to… to get an early start today…”  Loki said distractedly, still surprised that Thor’s mere touch could get him so riled up so quickly.  “Are you hungry?” He said as he pulled away, in an effort to clear his head. 

“Sure,” Thor said with a wicked grin. “Let’s go back to bed!” He said, grabbing Loki by the waist and pulling him against his body, and _god, it was wonderful!_ He was warm and smelled amazing, a heady combination of soap, his aftershave and just… Thor!  Loki automatically began to melt into the embrace before he snapped out of it and pushed away again. 

“No, no,” Loki said, laughing lightly as he untangled himself from Thor’s arms and turned his attention back to the stove, trying to save the last pancake from burning.  “Breakfast, then I’ve got errands to do!” he said, attempting to look stern, but failing miserably as his mouth quirked up.  “Here,” he said, placing a plate of pancakes and bacon in Thor’s hands, and directing him to the table “I’ll get the coffee”.  Thor grumbled, then closed his eyes and groaned appreciatively as the delicious smells drifted up from his plate.

“You don’t play fair, babe.” Thor said distractedly as he kissed Loki on the cheek on his way to the table.  Loki turned away then, busying himself with the coffee, any excuse to maintain distance, so Thor wouldn’t see the blush or the ridiculously dopey grin that Loki was sure now covered his face.  As much as Loki liked Thor’s endearments, he had to be realistic.  _Remember_ , he chided himself, _it doesn’t mean the same to him!  He probably isn’t even aware he said it!_   _As long as I remember that,_ he thought as he walked towards the table carrying coffee, _we should be okay._

The two men shared a companionable breakfast, filled with stray caresses and occasional kisses.  “I should get going,” Loki said, pulling away after a while.  They were tangled together, Loki sitting on Thor’s lap, their limbs entwined, sharing a particularly heated kiss.  “At this rate, I’ll never get anything done!”

“What could possibly be so important?  It’s Sunday!” Thor groaned, pressing his forehead to Loki’s shoulder, trying to extend their embrace. 

“I know the investigation’s our primary responsibility,” Loki said with a grin, disentangling himself (albeit reluctantly) from their embrace and standing. “But there are still certain housekeeping duties to attend to, you know.  Like cleaning…”

“We _have_ that service,” Thor said with a frown, following Loki’s progress with his eyes.  “They’ll be here in a couple of days…”  The majority of the tenants at Sapphire Towers had what they referred to as ‘support staff’, people who took care of domestic duties, so in order to play the part completely, a cleaning crew was set up for them as well.  Thor had no problem taking advantage of this perk, but he knew Loki felt uncomfortable with having someone else cleaning the bathroom or vacuuming the rug.

“I’m not going to wait two days to get those dishes done,” Loki said with a shudder, “And I’ve been neglecting my laundry lately.  Usually I do it once a week like clockwork, but I’ve been… distracted lately” he said thoughtfully, as he walked into the bedroom. 

“Wait, you do your own laundry?” Thor called out incredulously as he walked into the kitchen, and began cleaning up “How did I not know that?  Why don’t you just have the service take it?  That’s what I do.” He finished, collecting the dishes, feeling a little guilty.

“Oh come on!  That’s ridiculous!” Loki said with a laugh, walking through the living room laden with his laundry and supplies.  “I’ve been doing my own laundry my whole life, I’m not changing now.”  He paused at the door and turned to his partner. “I won’t be long, you know.” He said, watching Thor clean the kitchen.  “I can get to that when I come back”

“What?” Thor said, in mock confusion “I can do a few dishes!  You’re not the only one who can do stuff around here” he said in response to Loki’s incredulous look “Go, maybe we can finally review those profiles we’ve been putting off when you come back.” Thor said with a smile, waving him away.  Loki wavered at the door for a moment, torn between doing his laundry or just forgetting it all and embracing Thor again, but in the end, responsibility won out, and he sighed as he walked out to complete his chore.

. o O o .

_At least this won’t take long_ Loki thought as he started loading a couple of washing machines in the state-of-the-art laundry room.  Since most of the tenants’ staff did the laundry during the week, the weekends were pretty quiet.  Loki didn’t mind.  He rather enjoyed being all alone in here.  The place was kept meticulously clean, and the low hum from the high-end machines was rather comforting.  He had come prepared with his tablet and notebook, and had set them on one of the small tables set up in the sitting area.  _I should take advantage of the quiet and make some headway on the case,_ he thought idly as he reached in to grab the last stray article of clothing out of his laundry bag.  His thoughts were quickly derailed, though, as he saw that the t-shirt he’d just pulled out was actually one of Thor’s.  He turned and leaned against the machine as he allowed the memory of the past day flood his mind, thoughts he had been trying to keep at bay.  Thor’s hot insistent mouth claiming kisses as it stole his breath away, his large hands running caresses over his flushed skin as his body pressed insistently against him…

_Head in the game! Head in the game!_ Loki said to himself, squeezing his eyes shut.  He had thought that by coming to terms with this ‘fling’ he and Thor were having, he could compartmentalize, move it over to one side, and concentrate on his work, instead of constantly _daydreaming_ about his partner.  Loki sighed as he threw the shirt in one of the machines and activated it, starting the wash.  Despite his best efforts, he was so conflicted because he instinctively knew that once this investigation was over, Thor and he would be over as well.  He needed to get used to the idea, and the sooner that happened, the better. 

All of a sudden, the room was plunged into darkness, jolting him out of his thoughts and throwing him instantly into high alert.  He turned his back to the machine and crouched down, preparing to defend himself, because he felt with utter certainty that he wasn’t alone. 

“Please, don’t be alarmed sir,” a voice, Carl’s voice spoke softly across the room.  “I didn’t mean to scare you.  I only wished to speak to you alone.”

.ooo.

As weird as it sounded, Thor actually found the task of washing dishes rather relaxing.  Not that he would volunteer himself for the task again, but still… It gave him a chance to think, try to make some sense of his thoughts and the previous days’ events.  _So, Loki’s okay with a friends with benefits arrangement,_ he thought to himself as he dried his hands and walked to the dining table, setting up his laptop.  _No one else has to know, just the two of us…_ He thought, willing himself to feel some satisfaction at the turn of events.  _This is exactly what I wanted, just a bit of fun while we work together,_ he told himself.  His hands stopped above the keyboard as he cringed inwardly at his own thoughts.  _Then why don’t I feel better about it?_   A little voice asked him in the back of his mind.  _And why is Loki so quick to agree to such a casual thing, anyway?_   He thought suddenly, apprehension washing over him, as he was reminded that Loki hadn’t always made the best decisions in his life.  _He doesn’t always think about protecting himself (or his heart) well.  He does things impulsively without regard to danger –_ Thor suddenly stilled as he realized that Loki had done exactly this not twenty minutes ago, walking out alone, essentially without backup.  His mind was suddenly flooded with the memory of every incident and run-in they had had with Carl and Eric in this building, and Thor grew cold with dread.  He bolted from his chair and ran out the door towards the laundry room, certain of one thing: _Loki’s in danger!_

.ooo.

_Carl!  Shit! Fuck!_ Loki thought angrily.  _What the hell!  I thought he was out of town!_ He thought, as he berated himself for being caught off-guard.  “Why don’t you turn the lights back on, Carl?” Loki said slowly “and we can chat then.” Despite the precarious situation and him being at a complete disadvantage, Loki managed to speak in a relatively calm voice.  As he spoke, he blinked his eyes rapidly, trying to adjust to the dark as well as possible, while keeping as low to the ground as he could.

“Oh I don’t think so, sir,” Carl said pleasantly.  “All my other attempts at conversation with you haven’t been very… effective” he continued.  “As soon as I saw you come in here, I knew this would be the perfect opportunity.  We won’t be disturbed here.” he said with a sigh.

As Carl spoke, Loki focused on his voice, noting where the other man was positioned, and noting that the voice was definitely moving, getting closer.  _Goddammit! Could this room be any darker_?  He grumbled as he quickly scanned around for the smallest light source, indicating an exit. _It wouldn’t have killed them to put in a window!_ He thought.  His eyes hadn’t fully adjusted to the darkness yet, and from his position near the floor, he wasn’t in a good place to defend himself anyway.  _Keep him talking,_ he thought, his training kicking in.  _Mark his position at all times.  I don’t know that he’s a killer, but he’s definitely nuts..._ “I would be happy to talk to you, you know that,” Loki said mildly.  “What would you like to talk about?”

“Well, us of course!” Carl said, sounding suddenly very angry, as if explaining something that was already very clear.  He was moving around, shuffling and knocking into things, not bothering to conceal his location.  “The moment I saw you, I knew there was a connection between the two of us…” Loki noted with alarm that his voice was moving erratically now, sounding closer one moment, farther away the next.  “I know you felt it too… Knew we were destined to be together.  You know, till death do us part…”

_Aaand we have a winner_ , Loki thought grimly as he crept around the row of machines to next aisle.  As Carl spoke, Loki kept trying to register his position and moving away adding as much distance as possible, while at the same time making his way to the door.  By now he had gotten his bearings pretty well, and he knew he was still pretty far away from it, even though his path was clear.  He didn’t want to chance making a run for it, though, without knowing what this guy was armed with.  “Is that what   happened with those two other guys?”  Loki said, deciding to rattle the larger man into more clearly revealing his position.  “You killed them because they didn’t want to be your _destiny_?”  As soon as he spoke, Loki crept further down the aisle, away from where he had last heard the voice.

Suddenly, a startled laugh sounded from what seemed directly behind Loki. “You’re speaking of the— ?  Oh Loki,” Carl said, almost pityingly.  “Those two men didn’t even remotely compare to you!” 

_Shit!_ Loki thought, realizing he’d miscalculated.  He had moved left, anticipating that Carl had moved right, when in fact they were directly opposite each other in the dark, with just a set of shelves separating them.  Loki sat stock still, not breathing, hoping the other man wouldn’t notice.  _Okay_ , he thought, _odds are pretty good that I’m dealing with the murderer here, and we know his weapon of choice has been knives, so… I guess I take my chances_... Loki thought resolutely, preparing to attack.

“WHY DO YOU KEEP FIGHTING THIS?!?” Carl suddenly shouted, his voice coming from directly behind him.  Loki felt the shelves he’d been leaning next to suddenly fly forward, as Carl shoved them in a fit of frustrated rage over not finding him.  Both men were momentarily stunned, Carl, at not having meant to create such disturbance, and Loki, who was thrown by the blow.  The force threw Loki forward, the shelves landing on his back and making him groan.  A moment later, Carl was at his side, yanking a dazed Loki out from under the debris.  Loki immediately began struggling to get out of his grip, causing Carl to grip him tighter around his waist, pulling him back against his chest.  “You mustn’t struggle!” Carl said, gripping him tighter, one hand coming up to Loki’s neck.  Loki squeezed his eyes shut, trying to clear the cloud of haze that seemed to envelop him.  The shelves had dealt him quite a blow, and now Carl’s hand was squeezing tighter, cutting off his air, making it hard for him to focus, but still he struggled, even as he began to black out. 

Suddenly, the door burst open, blinding both men momentarily with bright white light.  Loki thought he heard shouting, but couldn’t register who it was through his haze.  Before either man’s eyes had time to adjust, large hands grabbed Carl and threw him against the wall.  Loki fell to the ground in a heap, trying to force his eyes open as he gulped air into his lungs.  As his vision grayed out, plunging him into darkness, the last thing he remembered was feeling two strong arms wrapping tightly around him.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New installment! I'm not gonna be posting as often as I had been in the past... blame it on work! But, I promise to not go more than a few days. Hope you enjoy!

It seemed strange, after all this time of just being the two of them, to have people trampling through their apartment.  _Their_ apartment, Thor mused.  Yes, he actually did think of it that way.  Thor stood off to the side in the living room, only half-listening as sergeant Garcia gave him the run-down on what they had found in Carl’s apartment.  From where he stood Thor had a direct line of sight to the dining room table, where Loki sat while the EMTs checked him over, making sure he was okay.  They had originally wanted to take him into the hospital, concerned with a possible concussion, but he had refused, insisting that he was fine.  His hair was tousled, and he had small cut on his left temple, but otherwise he looked fine.  Nevertheless, Thor yearned be at his side.  He kept darting glances his way, hands practically twitching with the need to touch his partner, to hold and comfort, assure himself that Loki was really okay.  He resisted though, keeping his distance from Loki while they wrapped things up.  As Thor watched, the EMT had Loki stand and walk a few steps, making sure he wasn’t dizzy.  When Loki faltered slightly, it was all Thor could do to not run across the room and gather him in his arms.  Hell, the way he was feeling right now, he’d _carry_ Loki everywhere until he was completely stable! 

“—can’t be sure how many are in the hard drive until we get in there,” Garcia was saying, “but there’s a shitload of hard copies, printed off his desktop printer—“

“What?” Thor said suddenly, catching Garcia’s last sentence “What’s printed?”

“The pictures.” Garcia said with a frown. “He’s got pictures of a lot of the tenants, including the vics.  And Loki.” Thor visibly tensed and Garcia hesitated before finishing “Some have... markings.”

“The bastard kept notes?”  Thor ground out through clenched teeth.  “What do they say?”

“N-no,” Garcia said hesitantly, “not notes… stains.  We’ll have to, uh, have them tested for DNA.” He finished, glancing at Thor before walking away. 

Thor stood stock still, the only movement the muscle twitching in his jaw, as he fought to stay in control.  He felt the rage course through him and, oh, was he sorry that he had let them take Carl away to the precinct, because, had he still been on the property, Thor would have ripped him apart.  If only I’d gotten there sooner… he thought for what seemed like the millionth time…

_“This is detective Thor calling for backup at Sapphire Towers.  Suspect is on-site and believed to be hostile.  Officer in danger” Thor called into his phone, not bothering to wait for a response as he shoved his phone back in his pocket, running down the hall and down the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator.  He reached the door and tried the knob, only to find it locked.  With absolutely no hesitation, Thor took a step back and brought his foot up, striking the door with a powerful kick that immediately brought the door down.  The darkened room was suddenly flooded by light, and Thor’s eyes landed on Loki, struggling in Carl’s arms, his hands clutching at his neck, where Carl’s hand was gripping him._

_“Loki!” Thor shouted as he ran in, grabbing Carl with both hands and flinging him as hard as he could against the wall.  Thor wasn’t necessarily looking to injure or incapacitate the man, but Carl hit with such force that the wall trembled with the force of it, the large man landing in a heap, unconscious.  Thor barely paid him any mind as he immediately reached out his arms to catch a now stumbling Loki.  Panic clutched at Thor’s chest as Loki’s eyes began to close as he continued downward, a trickle of blood running down his temple.  He brought the two of them down to the ground and positioned Loki on his lap, cradling his head, all the while cataloguing the visible injuries and fretting over the ones he couldn’t see._

_“Loki!  Baby, can you hear me?” Thor muttered as he threaded his fingers through Loki’s hair.  His partner only emitted a small groan in response, his eyes fluttering open for a mere instant before closing again.  God, this is my fault!  Why the fuck did I let him come here alone!  He said to himself as a full blown panic attack threatened to engulf him.  He managed to get it under control, though, as his police training kicked in.  Lay Loki down, restrain the perp.  Concussion? Spinal injury? Internal bleeding?! His mind listed, as he decided Loki was better on his back. “Sweetheart, I’m gonna put you down, okay?” he said as he gingerly laid Loki on the floor, relief overtaking him as he heard the sirens in the distance…_

As he relived the events, Thor shuddered involuntarily.  He kept telling himself that everything had turned out fine.  Loki was fine.  He had regained consciousness right after the uniformed cops had run in, Carl had been taken into custody and was no doubt going to be arrested for assault, maybe even murder!  One sideways glance at Loki, though, and he couldn’t help but think about what might have happened if he had taken just a moment longer to come to the realization that Loki was in danger.  The memory stopped Thor for a moment.  He had no idea how or why, but he remembered feeling with absolute certainty that Loki was in danger.  Never mind that they were sure Carl was out of town, he still knew something was wrong.  Not for the first time, he marveled at the connection the two shared.  He was so lost in his own thoughts that it took a while for him to notice his colleague trying to get his attention. 

“Thor.  Thor! THOR!” Detective Simmons, one of the forensics investigators bellowed out to him.  “So, I just got off the phone with the captain,” She said once she got the blonde’s attention.  “He wants you and Loki down at the precinct for the preliminary debrief.  We’re still gonna be a while here,” she said distractedly, reading over some notes on her tablet.  Simmons was one of the best in forensics, a genius scientist who came from a long line of cops and joined the force according to family tradition.  She was sharp, but Thor found her a little scattered, like her mind was in a million places at once. “We need to finish going through your computers, plus examine all the tech.  If you want, we can have our guys pack up your personal effects… in case you guys don’t want to come back here, you know.”

“Uh, right.” Thor sand, a little confused by Simmons’ conversation tangents. “Where’s Loki?” Thor suddenly said, looking around and realizing his partner wasn’t in the main room any more.

“Bedroom, he took a call from the captain.” Investigator Styles, the other forensics guy said, gesturing with his head towards the hall. 

“Do whatever you need to do, just don’t touch our stuff.  We’ll get it.” Thor said over his shoulder as he walked towards their room.

Loki stood within the closet’s doorway, his back leaning against the frame.  He had his arms crossed tightly across his chest, and the expression showed that his thoughts were far away.  Thor thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.  He closed and locked the bedroom door, causing Loki to quickly turn his head, those intense green eyes seeming to pierce Thor with their gaze.  Thor closed the distance in a few quick strides and enveloped his partner in a bone crushing hug, relief washing over him as he buried his face in Loki’s hair.  While he had been watching Loki from a distance all afternoon, they hadn’t had any contact, physical or otherwise, since everyone had arrived, and the EMTs had begun to work on him.  Thor closed his eyes and inhaled Loki’s intoxicating scent, happy to finally be able to touch his partner. 

“I’m so, so sorry,” Thor murmured as he trailed kisses down his partner’s jaw before capturing his mouth in a soft warm kiss.  Loki immediately tensed at the embrace, not sure how to respond.  After the captain’s phone call, he’d been standing in here, trying to tamp down the panic that was threatening to envelop him.  Suddenly, his conversation with the captain came back to him in a rush. 

_“He hasn’t said a word,” Steve commented “but to be honest, we really haven’t tried that hard to get him to talk.  I’ve decided to let the two of you take lead on that… decide how you want to handle it.” He finished quietly.  The captain had been on the scene soon after the uniformed officers, and had been the first to speak to Carl after he’d regained consciousness.  He’d also been the one who took Carl away after taking him into custody._

_“What do you think the likelihood is that we’ll get a confession out of him?” Loki said with a humorless laugh.  “He doesn’t seem to have too firm a grip on reality.” He said sarcastically._

_“Yeah,” the captain agreed, “I figured the sooner we got him in the system, the sooner we could get a psych consult on him.  Besides,” he said, trying (and failing) to hide his amusement “The way Thor was looking at him, I was pretty sure his control was slipping, and if we hadn’t left then and there, he would have gone and killed our suspect.  All those weeks of work out the window!” the captain said in mock anguish, a smile in his voice._

_“Detective Thor’s a professional, sir.” Loki said stiffly.  “We both are.  We know we need to get the job done.”  He didn’t know why, but he felt inordinately insulted that the captain would think Thor was anything less than a good detective, and that he’d let his personal feelings cloud his judgement._

_“Good.” The captain said, choosing not to address Loki’s tone. “Let’s get the two of you down here and tie things up.  The sooner we get your statement, the sooner we can book this guy.” Steve said, back in full Captain Mode. “Even if he doesn’t give anything up immediately on the murders, we’ve at least got him for assault on an officer.  He won’t be going anywhere for a while, so we can work the case from here from here on in.”_

_Loki felt suddenly cold as the captain’s words sunk in.  The investigation was over.  At least the undercover part of it was.  They wouldn’t be living here anymore.  They wouldn’t have to… pretend to be a couple any more.  Or at least, Thor wouldn’t have to pretend any more.  It hadn’t been an act for Loki for some time now.  “We’ll be there as soon as we finish dismantling the tech.” Loki said, trying to ignore the knot in his stomach that seemed to be tightening moment by moment._

_“Forensics can do that,” the captain said decisively.  “Just get down here.  I want to move forward with this as quickly as possible.” He said before mumbling under his breath, “The sooner things get back to normal the better” His voice softened slightly as he continued.  “You’ve done good work Loki.  You both have.  See you soon.” And with that, he had cut off the call._

Clearing his mind, Loki melted into the kiss, readily accepting Thor’s attentions as he wrapped his arms around the larger man’s neck, wanting nothing more than to be enveloped by him. 

Thor abruptly broke their kiss as he suddenly remembered Loki’s injuries.  “Are you okay?” He said worriedly, his hands running over the brunet’s body, checking for injuries “Were you hurt?” he asked before continuing “And please tell me the truth, not the bullshit I’m sure you fed the medics.” He finished, noticing Loki’s eyes slightly narrowed in the way they did when he was about to launch into one of the elaborate stories he told the condo tenants. 

“Nothing permanent,” Loki said with a smile, unconsciously leaning into Thor’s exploring touches.  “I’m gonna have one bitch of a headache for a while, and judging from the soreness on my back,” He readily raised his arms as Thor immediately began pulling his t-shirt up to see “I’m gonna develop quite the bruising there, but otherwise, I’m fine.  The bastard caught me completely off guard.” Loki said through clenched teeth. 

“Stop it Loki” Thor said with a harshness that contradicted his delicate touches.  “That wasn’t your fault.  Carl knew what he was doing.  I mean, shit, he’s been stalking tenants for years now,” Thor said, getting more and more agitated by the minute.  “You heard Garcia!  That sick fuck had made it a goddamned art form! – “

“And he’s in custody now,” Loki said rubbing Thor’s arm soothingly.  The larger man responded by wrapping his arms around him, bending forward and leaning his forehead on Loki’s shoulder.  Thor shuddered involuntarily as he once again allowed himself to think about what could have happened to Loki.

“Come on,” Loki said pulling away slowly, “Let’s get to the precinct and tie this up.” Thor opened his mouth about to say something, but he was cut off by the sound of the doorknob rattling.

“Hey!  Guys, the door’s locked!” Simmons called from the hall, knocking insistently.  “I just need to pull any equipment from in here,” She said distractedly as she swept in after Loki opened the door.

“There’s no tech in here Simmons,” Thor said frustrated. “This is the bedroom!” His first instinct was to panic, thinking Simmons would question the locked door or Loki’s and his wary expressions, but, this was Simmons.  If there wasn’t a schematic or a readout attached to it, she wouldn’t notice it.

“Well I was told to sweep every room, and that’s what I’m doing,” She said, unfazed, looking down at her ever-present tablet.  “Plus the grounds.  Perhaps you could tell me where everything is, save us some time.”

“I’ll see you at the precinct Thor.” Loki said suddenly, rushing to the door, suddenly needing to be as far away from his partner ( _ex-partner,_ his mind supplied) as possible. 

“W-wait!  We can go together,” Thor said rushing to the door as well, grasping Loki’s arm to stop him. 

“No, you go ahead and help Jemma, then you can meet me there.” Loki said with too-wide smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Great,” Simmons said taking Thor’s other arm and leading him away.  As Loki walked out into the hall and towards the front door, he could still hear Jemma’s voice as she spoke to Thor “I’ve got the blue prints, but I have some questions about this area labeled ‘grotto’…” 

It wasn’t until he was sitting in his car, waiting for the first traffic light he encountered to change to green, that Loki took a deep breath and released some tension from his shoulders.  He had had every intention of driving to the precinct with Thor, but he suddenly thought about the conversation they might have, how maybe Thor would want to talk about how this was the end of their… what—partnership? And he realized he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.  He knew it was coming, but he’d be okay with postponing even for a few hours.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me! I say this now so you can keep it in mind as you read this next chapter. Things don't fare well for our hero, I'm afraid... Things DO tend to get worse before they get better... right? 
> 
> Anyway, When I did the original outline for this story, I didn't think it would be as lengthy as its turning out. There's still so much more story to tell, and I fear I may have bitten more off than I can chew. I'd like feedback. Is it still good? Interesting? Do you guys want to know what happens? Let me know!

“How long have they been at this, anyway?” Loki grumbled, running his hands through his hair in frustration as he glanced through the two-way mirror into the interrogation room.  Carl sat in one of the metal chairs, his hands cuffed behind his back after a particularly bad outburst.  Detectives Baker and Schmidt sat across from him, with Baker leaning forward, his face very close to Carl’s, speaking quickly and intensely. 

“Hm,” The captain mumbled noncommittally, “Those two have been in there on and off for about 4 hours,” He turned to Loki then “But if we add your time along with mine and Thor’s, we’re going on about six.” He finished as he glanced back at the glass. 

The interrogation wasn’t going well.  In an effort to avoid Thor longer, Loki had checked in with Captain Rogers as soon as he had arrived, wanting to get through his debrief early.  They had only managed to talk for a couple of minutes, though, before Thor arrived.  He had immediately wanted to go in and work the interrogation, so he and Loki had gone in.  It had been a bad idea.  The minute he had seen Loki, Carl had become agitated, lunging towards the detective, yelling and screaming about soul mates and destinies.  It was pretty much decided that Loki stay out of the interrogation after that.  Thor didn’t have much luck either.  The captain had to practically physically remove him from the room when Carl launched into a detailed description of how perfect his life with Loki would be.  Carl hadn’t really said anything intelligible all day. 

“Psych’s gonna be taking him into custody pretty soon.  Just waiting on paper work.” The captain said, breaking into Loki’s thoughts.  “Once there, the interrogations can continue at the hospital.” Loki nodded in response. 

Earlier, right after their debrief, the captain informed Thor and Loki that he was transferring Carl’s case over to Baker and Schimdt.  Thor had argued the captain’s decision, but Loki, even though disappointed, wasn’t surprised.  He’d actually anticipated it.  Having been a part of the undercover team, it would have been somewhat of a conflict of interest to have them do the interrogations and write up the case as well.  They would still be involved, of course, just not in a lead position.  Still, it stung a little, and Loki was a little concerned about how Thor was taking it.  He hadn’t seen him since he had stormed out of the captain’s office. 

“You two are pretty much done here,” the captain said, putting his hand on Loki’s arm to get his attention.  “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off?”  He said with a raised eyebrow, trying to keep a straight face, but the smile threatening to break through gave him away. 

“Yeah, thanks,” Loki said sarcastically, as he pulled out his phone and turned it to the captain, showing the time.  6:30. “Now how will I spend the rest of my Sunday?” he said with a smirk.

“You’re the one that picked Sunday to get assaulted,” The captain laughed.  “Go on, get out of here.” He said with a smile.  “You’ve done good work, but we can take care of this from here on in.  You must be eager to get back to your life.” He gave Loki a long searching look. “I’ll be here, though, if you want to talk?” the captain questioned tentatively, meeting his eyes.

As Loki gazed back at his boss and let his words sink in, he felt suddenly at a loss.  He was free to go, but _where_ would he go?  He hadn’t been back to his place in weeks, nor did he have any desire to go.  As he considered his next move, he was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to see Thor.  Even with the possibility that their next conversation was going to be goodbye, Loki decided to go in search of his partner.  “Thanks.  I appreciate the offer. Really.”  He said to the captain with a smile.  “But I think I need to find Thor.”  He paused before saying “I think _that_ conversation’s overdue.”  As he walked out to the main floor.

After searching around the precinct, Loki was surprised to find Thor in the smaller file room on the main floor.  This was where files were stored temporarily either on their way to permanent storage or back to a detective’s desk to be reactivated.  Loki frowned at seeing the larger man standing at one of the cabinets, idly flipping through a file before him.

“Did you need help with something?” Loki said from the doorway by way of greeting.  Thor looked up and smiled, not seeming surprised at all by Loki’s presence.  “You know, I don’t think it’s necessary to get a head start on our filing.  I’m sure the captain would excuse you for waiting a day.” Loki’s mouth quirked up on one side in a half-smirk, playfully mocking. 

“Nah, I was just killing time,” Thor said, closing the file and placing it back in the drawer before closing it and turning to Loki. “Until you came looking for me.”  He crossed his arms across his chest and leaned on the file cabinet, his grin matching the one that just moments ago had been on Loki’s face.

“Hey Loki! Great news on your case!” Detective Stone said, patting Loki on the shoulder as he passed by.  “Heard you caught the bastard.”

“Uh, oh, yeah, thanks.  Actually, it was Thor and I… Thanks” Loki stammered as he looked sideways at Thor.  His easy grin was gone now and he was clenching his jaw in annoyance, a move Loki was all too familiar with.

“Well anyway,” Stone continued, oblivious “Congratulations, you two.” He said as he walked away.  Loki watched him for a moment and turned back to Thor, expecting him to be angry, but instead finding his grinning face.

“A-and you came here?” Loki said a bit haltingly, trying to redirect their conversation back to where it had been.  He had felt a sharp nervousness in his chest at Thor’s words and tone of voice.  Almost… _playful_.  Not the tone of voice of a man about to end things.  “This would be the last place I’d look for you.  You never come in here!  I’m always the one who returns our research docs…”

“Oh, I knew you’d eventually find me.” Thor said confidently, waving his hand dismissively as he pushed himself away from the file cabinet.  His eyes shifted as he looked over Loki’s shoulder at the activity in the general precinct floor, before turning his gaze back to the brunet.  He took a step, about to approach Loki.

“Hey, congratulations you two!” Collins, another one of their colleagues called out as they walked past the file room. 

“Jesus Christ!” Thor mumbled in frustration, his composure crumbling. 

Loki turned, startled, but quickly composed himself and graciously accepted the praise.  When he left, Thor grasped Loki’s wrist, wanting to regain his attention.

“Come on,” he said as he pulled Loki towards the back file cabinets “At least get away from the doorway” he paused before turning towards Loki with a grin “and your adoring fans!” he said with a chuckle, touching Loki’s cheek.  “Better get used to it, you know.  That was a pretty big win today.  Everybody’s gonna want to get to you,” Loki searched his face for signs of anger or frustration, but he just saw a faint amusement there… and something he couldn’t quite qualify… “but they’re gonna have to get in line” Thor murmured, as he leaned in and softly kissed Loki, completely surprising the man.

_Wait… what?!?_ Loki’s mind stuttered, even as his body responded to Thor, automatically melting into the embrace of the larger man.  He had been expecting an awkward conversation where Thor would carefully and politely tell Loki that now that the investigation was over their… little _arrangement_ needed to end.    _Well putting his tongue down my throat is a hell of a way to start the conversation!_   Loki thought wryly.  “Mmm… Thor… wait...” he began as he reluctantly pushed himself away.  Thor made a sound of protest at the separation, leaning forward to chase the kiss. “I… I thought… Aren’t we… Is this…” Loki stuttered, not sure how to start this conversation. “Is this what you want?” He finally said, looking into his partner’s eyes, trying to glean what the blond was thinking from his expression.  Thor furrowed his brow and cast his eyes to the ground, making something clench in Loki’s chest.  _Shit!  Did I screw this up?_  Loki thought, watching him intently.  Thor didn’t say anything for a moment, then he looked up.

“It is.  I mean… don’t you?” Thor asked hesitantly.  When Loki didn’t answer, he continued. “Look, I know we’re not gonna be living together anymore,” He said as he ran his hands over Loki’s forearms, “but I – I don’t want this to end …” Loki shivered at the soft caress as he let Thor’s words sink in, a glimmer of hope blooming in his chest.

“Oh my God,” Loki whispered, reaching up and grasping Thor’s face in both hands before pulling him forward and kissing him quickly and fiercely as his heart nearly burst with happiness, as _Thor’s choosing us… Thor’s choosing us…_ kept going through his head.

After a moment, Thor pulled away and held Loki at arms-length, a smile on his face. “I mean, I don’t see why things would have to change,” he said, relieved and encouraged by Loki’s response. “I can come to your place, or we could meet somewhere.  Nobody needs to know.  We can still…” His words tapered off as he noticed Loki’s wide-eyed, almost shocked expression.  “What? What is it Loki?” he said with concern, reaching out to Loki, who instinctively pulled away from him. 

  1.   Loki felt nothing but cold after hearing Thor’s plan.  _So… I’m to be his ‘side action’ then… his dirty little secret..._ Loki thought angrily as he silently stared at Thor, frightened by his own feelings.  He had actually thought for a moment that, what?  That he and Thor would ride off into the sunset together?  And to hell with the girlfriend?  No, of course not.  For a moment, Loki considered walking out and not turning back, but one look at Thor’s face and he knew he wasn’t leaving.  This was it.  If he wanted Thor, this is what he’d get. 



“Loki?” Thor repeated, a frown of concern on his face. “What’s –“

“No, it’s nothing,” Loki said with a smile, grasping and squeezing both of Thor’s hands before quickly releasing them.  “I was just thinking… Logistics.” He finished, sighing as he noticed Thor’s face relax and smile a bit.  “It’s gonna be weird, not living – not living at Sapphire Towers.” He finished.  He caught himself before saying _not living together_.  He needed to remember where things stood.  He gave Thor a quick kiss of reassurance before taking a step back.  I need to go back there.  Get the rest of my stuff.  But call me later, ok?” He said as he turned and walked away, patting Thor’s arm on the way out. 

“Okay… we’ll talk soon.” Thor called after him, still a bit confused by Loki’s odd behavior.  He emerged out of the file room, lost in thought.  As he walked back towards his desk, eyes trained on the floor before him, he didn’t look up to notice Jane standing across the hall, staring wide eyed into the now empty room.

As Thor walked further and further away from her, Jane stood rooted on the spot, not knowing what to think.  She had called Thor a couple of hours earlier, and he had told her they’d caught the killer, and that they were wrapping things up at the precinct.  When she’d congratulated him and offered to come get him, he had been distant and vague, telling her he didn’t know how long he’d be, and that she should enjoy the rest of her Sunday, he’d see her tomorrow.  _Tomorrow!_   She had scoffed, _as if I’m going to leave my boyfriend alone at a time like this!_   So she had primped and dressed in an outfit she had known Thor would appreciate, and had driven down to the station. 

Now, as she leaned against the wall of the hallway, trying to catch her breath, the last few minutes of her life were repeating on some crazy infinite loop in her mind.  She had walked past the file room, headed to the precinct, when she slowed upon hearing Thor’s distinct voice coming from inside.  She smiled in anticipation as she stepped in, then froze as she took in the scene before her.  Loki _Loki_ was holding Thor’s face in both his hands as he passionately and deeply kissed him, while Thor held him by the waist.  She blinked repeatedly, trying to will the image to disappear, then suddenly turned on her heel and quickly and quietly walked out and away from that surreal scene.  She seemed to run out of steam at the end of the hall, stopping and turning to face the doorway.

_What?!?!_ Jane thought as she tried to gather her thoughts and stamp down the panic that was building inside.  She didn’t even know where to begin.  If it had been another woman, she would have been on familiar ground.  She would have known what to do. But this!  Thor with Loki!  Together!  Unbidden, images of the two of them flashed in her mind: the two of them, kissing, caressing… Jane squeezed her eyes shut to try and clear out those thoughts.  _No, this is NOT how things are supposed to be!_ Jane thought to herself fiercely as she started to walk towards the main floor.  _That is MY boyfriend!_   _We’re getting married!  I mean… I KNOW he was about to propose!_   The closer she got to Thor’s desk, the more indignant she became.   _My future is not getting derailed just because some tall skinny hot guy comes along and… confuses him!_

By the time Jane arrived at Thor’s desk she was breathing heavily, as if she’d come from a long run.  “Thor,” she panted “I need to speak to you alone.”  Thor looked up, surprised to see her there.  Jane looked agitated, almost frightened, which immediately put him on alert.

“What?  What’s going on, Jane?” Thor said, standing up “We are alone.” He said looking around at the empty precinct.  “Are you okay?” he said worriedly. 

As she heard Thor’s question, Jane realized she had no idea what to say.  _So you’re into guys now?...  I saw you…  You were kissing a guy…._ These were some of the comments that went through her mind as she tried to order her thoughts before speaking, wanting to get it right.  So no one was more surprised than her when she finally spoke.

“I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are appreciated!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Late, I know, but better late than never, right? (I hope!)  
> Sorry about the lateness, but I just started a new job, which is eating into my precious fanfic writing time! (Oh if only fanfiction could pay the rent! One can only dream!) 
> 
> Anyway, I won't be able to update as often, but I promise to post within a few days, okay? 
> 
> Hope you like it. More angst, but what can you do? :-)

At first, neither she nor Thor said a thing, Thor staring at her wide-eyed, his face a perfect example of shock.  A moment later, Jane’s legs gave out on her as the immensity of what she’d just said hit her.  _Oh my God!  What did I just do?_   She thought in a panic.  As she began to crumple to the ground, Thor’s quick reflexes kicked in and he reached out to catch her before she hit the ground.  Wordlessly, he pulled Jane over to his chair and sat her down, as he sat on his desk facing her.  Jane stared at Thor, not knowing how to proceed.  She wanted to take it all back, to tell him it wasn’t true, but didn’t know how to.

“Are you sure?” Thor finally said quietly.  Jane didn’t know what she had expected, but she flinched at his reaction.  He didn’t sound angry, or shocked, or even disbelieving.  He mostly sounded sad.  In that moment, she became defensive and overprotective of the baby, never mind that she had just made it up not five minutes before.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jane said annoyed.  “Of course I’m sure!  Thor, we’re having a baby!  You and I!” She reached out and grasped his thigh, more to calm herself down than anything else.  “Aren’t you happy about this?” She said as she searched his face for some sign of acceptance.

At first, Thor’s mind was a blank, no matter how hard he tried to formulate something to say.  _Was_ he happy?  _My girlfriend just told me I’m about to be a father… I guess I’m… supposed to be happy?_    “Y—yes, yes!  Of course!” he said suddenly, reaching out and grasping Jane by the shoulders.  “Of course,  I am!  I’m just – a little shocked is all… I wasn’t expecting it… I mean… how… when… “ he stammered as he gestured between them, at a loss for how to ask his question. 

In response, Jane jumped up from her chair, wrapping her arms around Thor’s neck, “I’m so glad!” she gushed as she planted kisses all over the man’s face. “I am too!  I’m so so happy!”

“Jane… Jane… “ Thor said, trying to disentangle the arms from around his neck. “You didn’t answer –“

“Two months!” Jane said promptly, smiling widely. “It was right before you went off on your… _undercover thing_ ” she said, trying not to let her distaste come through in her tone.  “Look,” she said placatingly, turning wide innocent eyes to Thor, “I know this isn’t the most ideal way to start a family, but we were going to do this anyway.”  Now that waist-deep in this crazy story, she was actually starting to warm up to it.  She ran her hands up and down Thor’s muscular arms, wanting to have his full attention.  “This was our plan all along, remember?  We’re going to be together forever.”  She said, leaning her head against Thor’s shoulder and sighing contentedly.

As his arms automatically went around Jane, Thor felt an almost uncontrollable urge to run.  He felt like he was going to come out of his skin, and didn’t know what he was feeling.  Was this supposed to be how being an expectant father felt?  Maybe he needed to let the news sink in, because at this point, he felt like an outsider, observing his life unfolding before him, like it was happening to someone else.  He needed to talk to Loki.  To see him and be reassured by his presence.  At his thought, Thor felt an inexplicable wave of sadness wash over him.  What would he think about this? 

The buzzing of a phone shook Thor out of his thoughts.  “Oh!  That’s mom!  She was going to text me a picture of her dress for the wedding” Jane said excitedly as she pulled her phone out of her pocket, pushing away from Thor to read the text.  “Oh my god!  This is all wrong!” Jane said exasperated.  “Ugh!  I’ve got to send her the ideas I’ve got on my computer.”  She mumbled. “Come on, let’s go back to my place” She said wrapping her arms around Thor again.  “I’ll send my mom the info and then we can celebrate” she said trailing a line of kisses along Thor’s jaw, towards his mouth. 

“Um, I… I don’t think so Jane” Thor said, pulling away.  “No, nothing’s wrong!” he said quickly, seeing her stricken face. “I just haven’t been to my place in weeks, I need to regroup… settle back in…” He grasped both her hands as he talked, willing her to understand.

“Oh, okay then.  Let’s go to your place,” Jane said quickly, “I can help y –“

“No, no, that’s okay, I should tackle it alone.  The place is probably dusty and needs to be aired out –“

“I really don’t mind!” she said, cutting him off, sounding slightly panicked.  “I’ll go with you, and I can get my car tomorrow.  No big deal…” Her voice tapered off as she saw the resigned look on his face.  _Shit_ , she thought, I’m not changing his mind.

“I just… need to be alone.  I’ve got… I’ve got a lot of shit to process—“

“Oh, and I don’t?” Jane cut in sharply.  “You don’t think _I’m_ freaked out about this?” she said accusingly, deciding to make Thor feel guilty.   Panic built as she felt him closing up and distancing himself from her, and out of her reach.  “Fine,” she said grabbing her purse and starting towards the elevators.  “Deal with your shit and don’t worry about me or the fact that I’m dealing a lot too!” She said stomping off.  She didn’t turn around, fully expecting Thor to come after her.  It wasn’t until the elevator doors opened and she stepped in that she glanced his way again.

“I’ll call you later.” Thor said, not looking up, as the elevator doors closed, taking Jane away.

. o O o .

The precinct’s parking lot was unusually busy, only adding to Loki’s anxiousness.  He’d planned to arrive early, wanting to be at his desk before Thor arrived, but bad traffic, and now the parking lot, seemed to have other plans.  He’d been up all night thinking about their conversation the previous day.  Did I really agree to be his ‘side action’?  Loki asked himself for the thousandth time, still not quite believing it.  It had taken him years of work to drag himself out that hole of self-loathing after his dark times on the street.  Many therapy sessions had to pass before he’d stopped thinking of himself as ‘trash’ and ‘unworthy’, and he’d fought to gain the respect of his peers.   _So why is it,_ he wondered as he walked into the precinct, _that I was so quick to agree to Thor’s arrangement?_   _Because you’re in love with him, you idiot,_ he told himself as he dropped his satchel on his desk. 

 _Coffee_.  He thought to himself.  _I need coffee first, then I can face the day_ , he thought as he headed to the lunch room.  He’d had a tiring, restless night sleeping in his own bed.  Alone.  _Without Thor_ , his mind piped up, before he pushed the thought aside.  He smiled and nodded hello to the two women standing by the refrigerator as he headed to the coffeemaker.  He’d missed Thor more than he cared to admit.  The only contact they’d had the previous evening was a text saying goodnight, which Loki had read and re-read, trying to read more meaning into the words ‘Good night, hope you sleep well’, before forcing  himself to put his phone away.  _Ugh!  How am I supposed to be around him today?_ He thought to himself as he sipped at his coffee.

As wrapped up as he was in his own turmoil, it took a while for Loki to focus in on the two women’s conversation across the room.

“—believe they’re going to rush into it.  Jane’ll want a huge affair…” One of them was saying.

“Oh my god!” The other one snorted. “Can you imagine her wedding being anything less than a huge blowout?  There’s no way she’s going to walk down the aisle with a baby bump!  It’ll ruin the pictures!”  The two women giggled together as Loki watched them, mouth agape.  One of them finally seemed to notice him standing across the room.  “Oh, we’re just joking, Detective Loki,” she said soberly.   “We’re actually really happy for Jane and Thor.”

“We all knew it was only a matter of time!”  The other sing-songed.  “The baby’s only pushing things forward a little bit”  The two ladies walked out, still deep in conversation, not seeming to notice Loki’s silence.

At the moment, Loki didn’t seem to have the power of movement.  _Jane’s pregnant.  Thor’s gonna be a father.  They’re getting married._  He felt a chill rush through him as the news sunk in.  Well _.  That’ll teach me to be late again._   He thought humorlessly.  _Jane and Thor must have made some sort of announcement today,_ he thought, surprised at himself for the calmness he felt. 

 _This is the way things are supposed to be for Thor_ , Loki thought dispassionately.  _This is what his life is supposed to be, not mixed up with someone like me, but married to his perfect beautiful girl, surrounded by perfect beautiful babies._  He leaned against the counter, suddenly feeling too tired to stand up straight.  The idea of Thor as a father, holding his baby, a small blond replica of him, smiling proudly… it clenched at Loki’s heart to imagine it.

He pushed himself away from the counter and walked out, his coffee forgotten, as he headed back to his desk, intent on collecting his things.  He began to rush to get out of there, not wanting to risk running into the happy couple.  As he turned to leave, though, he walked straight into Thor, who was also headed straight for him. 

“Oof!  Sorry!” Thor huffed out with a laugh as he reached out to steady the brunet.  “Hey, Were – were you heading out somewhere?” Thor said, noticing Loki’s bag over his shoulder.

“Oh, yeah, I’m taking a personal day,” Loki said, starting to walk towards the elevator.  “I’ve got a lot of things to sort out.”  He walked into the elevator and pushed the button for the garage, hoping Thor wouldn’t follow him.  No such luck.  Thor walked in after him before the doors closed.  “I can’t believe how dusty things can get—“

“Loki,” Thor began, as he reached out to embrace the other man.

“I believe congratulations are in order!” Loki said loudly, full of false cheer, stepping away from Thor’s arms.  Thor seemed to freeze at the words.  He dropped his hands to his sides and stood up straight, looking a little shocked.

“W-what do you mean?” He asked warily.

“I heard about the baby.  I’m sorry I missed the big announcement” He couldn’t help but add the last comment, a bit of a dig at not being told beforehand. 

For a moment, Thor just opened and closed his mouth, no sound coming out of it.  “I was going to tell you,” Thor said sadly, sounding genuinely regretful. “I had wanted you to hear it from me.” He frowned as he remembered, “Jane’s been telling everyone.”

The elevator doors opened and Loki quickly walked out, making a beeline for his car.  “Well can you blame her?” Loki said turning to Thor, who had followed him out and was walking next to him, matching his stride “I’m sure she’s excited.  You must be excited too” he said, stopping by his car and finally turning to look at Thor head-on.  “A baby, plus a wedding?  That’s huge!”  Loki said with a smile that he was sure looked forced.

The frown on Thor’s face deepened.  “A wedding?!? What are you talking about?” He sputtered, suddenly seeming angry. 

Loki sighed as he got in the driver’s seat, closing the door and leaving Thor standing alone.  “I overheard a couple of the girls from records talking about it.  About your wedding…” Loki said, sounding resigned.  He was suddenly surprised by Thor’s quick movements, as he rushed to the passenger side and got into the car beside Loki, closing the door and turning to look at him directly. 

“Loki, there’s no wedding!” He said forcefully.  “Yes, there’s going to be a baby.  She’s two months along, but it all happened before… well before.” Thor spoke quickly, eyes searching Loki’s face as forced himself to keep his hands on his lap.  _Touching Loki would probably not be a good idea right now_ , he thought.   “Look, I plan to be there for the baby, but Jane… I just don’t’ know…”

“What are you talking about, Thor?” Loki said, surprised.  “That woman’s going to have your baby!  You two need to be a family.  You need to be there for that baby.  Together. “

“You and I… I don’t want to lose you,” Thor said, finally reaching out to touch Loki’s arms, trying to pull him towards him. 

At his words, Loki felt a sudden shot of anger.  “Lose me?!?” he said angrily. “You need to concentrate on your life.  Your future.” He said, trying to calm himself down. “You and I… that only complicates things.  You need to think about your new family.”

Thor bristled at his choice of words. “Will you please stop telling me what I have to do and what I need to do?” He snapped.  “It’s my life and these are my decisions!”

“Then grow up and make the right one!” Loki said, agitated.  “That child deserves parents fully invested in his or her happiness.  You need to make that happen.”  His anger seemed to grow as he continued. “I was the product of two very selfish people who only thought of themselves and not about what their kids were going through, and I will not be a part in screwing up your kid’s life!” He finished, breathing heavily as he turned away from Thor’s gaze.  They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, both gathering their thoughts.  “I’d better get going.” Loki said, much more calmly now.

“Where are you going?” Thor said, his voice breaking slightly at the end.

“Just to take care of some things.  I’ll be back tomorrow.” He said with finality, leaving no room for Thor to say anything else.  Without a word, Thor got out of the car and watched Loki drive away.  He made it about four blocks before his emotions overtook him and he pulled over, dissolving in the tears he couldn’t contain any more.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Finally, the next installment! I promise not to give up on this, but it is taking me a little longer to post. Still, I'm going to try and post the next installment in a week. I've already got the whole thing plotted out, so stay tuned! Thanks
> 
> Also, check out chapters 25 and 27, the new artwork by GoLikeThat is up. Hope you like it!

“Hey!” Tony called out to Steve from across their backyard. “I get it! You’re my big strong tough guy!  You can stop tearing up the backyard now!” he finished with a big grin.  Steve looked up, shovel in hand, hovering with a spade full of dirt, a frown on his face.  He swiped a dirt-covered hand across an already dirt-covered forehead. 

“You said you wanted these planted,” Steve said with a frown, gesturing at the row of small plants ready to go in the ground.  For months now, they’d been casually talking about changing the landscape of their backyard, adding a few plants, maybe put in a small fountain, but this was ridiculous!  Tony never dreamed that Steve would spend his Saturday at this task. 

Since that morning, Steve had turned over a large part of the soil, laid down some tile pavers and started to install a small water feature.  By the time Tony went out there, he was halfway through planting what looked like the contents of an entire nursery along one edge.  He was working with such concentration and determination that Tony didn’t dare interrupt him.  He obviously had something weighing on his mind, and the work was helping him with it.  Plus, he’d taken his t-shirt off a couple of hours ago and Tony wasn’t about to miss out on the sight of a shirtless, sweaty, dirt-shoveling Steve.  Tony had been sitting in the porch, enjoying the view for a while, until he finally decided to get to the bottom of this… mood!  He smirked as he walked over to Steve.  “Here, drink this -- before you keel over.” He said, handing the man a glass of lemonade.  Steve took it gratefully and drank the entire glass in just a couple of gulps.

“Thanks, baby” Steve said, handing back and turning to get back to work.

“Hey, hold on!” Tony said in surprise “What’s the rush?  What is up with you, man?” he said reaching out and grabbing Steve’s arms, a small smile on his face, but a worried look in his eyes. 

“Nothing, just… you said you wanted the garden redone, so I’m redoing the garden,” Steve said as he pulled away and continued digging.

“You do know that I employ people that do these very tasks all day long for Stark Industries, right?” Tony said, raising an eyebrow as he spoke.  “S.I. buildings all over the country.  Pretty nice landscaping.  I think they could handle our little shoe box.” He said, gesturing around him to include the small house. 

“We’re not bringing gardeners in, Tony.” Steve grumbled, rolling his eyes.

When they’d decided to move in together, Tony had wanted them to move into one of his exclusive, expensive homes, but Steve insisted they buy something together that belonged to the two of them equally.  Tony grumbled, but in the end they’d both fallen in love with their small Spanish-style house.  For years, they’d been lovingly restoring it, (Steve doing most of the physical work) until it was almost back to its original state.  “Hey, I’m not complaining!” Tony said with a laugh, running his hand over Steve’s chest. “But something’s going on,” he said, his eyes suddenly serious. “What’s got you so preoccupied?”

This time, Steve didn’t hesitate. “This fucking case.” He said.  “It’s been closed, but I can’t seem to get it out of my head.” He walked towards the patio, gesturing for Tony to follow. 

“What case?” Tony asked cautiously.  "The Sapphire Towers thing?" The case had been over for a week, but Steve had been unusually tight-lipped about it.  When Tony had pressed, He had merely said it was done with, and he'd rather just move forward.  He had to admit, he'd been pretty curious, though.  Steve sat heavily on one of the patio chairs and began using his t-shirt to clean off some of the dirt off his torso as Tony sat next to him.  "I thought it was done, over and done with."  Tony said distractedly, watching Steve's actions. Focus! He told himself guiltily.  He's obviously troubled, and you're ogling him like some pervert! 

"I know, but somehow, I feel I'm missing something."  Steve said with a frown.  "The guy we took into custody isn't really talking.  He's in Psych now.  We still don't have a confession on the murders... “he threw his shirt off to the side and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes.  "Then there's the two detectives..."

"Thor and Loki." Tony prompted, wanting Steve to continue.   He knew the two detectives had gotten together, but Steve hadn't really spoken too much about it, annoying Tony to no end.  He really wished Steve would be more of a gossip!

"Yeah," Steve smiled. "Those two started a thing... And now back at work... Well I think it must have ended badly because they're not talking -- not really, and Loki requested to be transferred out of homicide... To I.T. Matter of fact."  He said, turning to look at Tony.  "Bruce is excited about it.   OK’d the request Right away."

“Really?” Tony said interested. “Bruce says he’s pretty good.  Good instincts, plus extensive tech knowledge.  It’ll be good to have new blood in there.”  He suddenly realized what else Steve had said.  “Woa, so… it’s a definite then?  Those two were doin’ the nasty?”  Tony said with a smile, suddenly _very_ interested.

Steve raised his eyebrow sardonically at his choice of words, but didn’t correct him, merely nodded.  “I’m just worried about him, you know?”  Steve said earnestly, gazing at Tony.  “I feel somewhat responsible for the guy, since I was his CO for this.  He also confided in me.”  He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “I’m honestly at a loss here,” he said.  “I don’t know if I should say something or not.  Should I stay out of it?  I mean, I’m not his _mom_ , for chrissakes!”

“Honey, calm down!” Tony said, moving to stand behind Steve as he began rubbing his shoulders.  “Look, as far as you’re concerned, your involvement with him extends to work.  This case is over, and whatever entanglements he’s gotten himself into, that’s his own business.  His personal life isn’t your responsibility.”  He said with finality. 

“Ugh, I know, I know!” Steve said before moaning in pleasure as he enjoyed the impromptu massage.  “Maybe things will be better after he gets transferred.”  He mumbled.  “At the very least, maybe Thor’ll be able to concentrate on work again, without the Loki distraction.” 

. o O o .

“Something I can help you with detective?”  The young fresh-faced officer that now stood before Thor asked, smiling expectantly.  Thor jerked back a bit, somewhat startled that he was being spoken to by this kid.  As soon as he’d come in that morning, he’d gone looking for Loki, which had led him to this spot.  He’d been standing by the counter across from the I.T. department doors for about 15 minutes, pretending to be interested in some files there, as he worked up the courage to walk in there and look for Loki.  Lately, he had been spending a lot more time in the labs with Bruce, and it was killing Thor that he didn’t know what Loki was up to.  Over the past week they’d barely said two words to each other, and then it was only for work, when absolutely necessary, usually having to do with closing the Sapphire Towers case.

“Um, no.  No, I’m fine, thanks.” Thor said as pretended to be engrossed in the file in front of him.  Officer Adler merely smiled as she continued hovering, wanting to be helpful. 

“Really, it would be no trouble!”  She said eagerly “I’m sure I can help!”

“Thanks,” Thor said uncomfortably, as he backed away from the young girl, trying to walk away as casually as he could without seeming rude.  “I was just reviewing this… this…” He looked down at the binder in his hand, not even sure what it was that he was reading. “Traffic information.” He finished lamely, trying to sound official.  At that moment, Bruce Banner and another man walked through the I.T. doors, engrossed in conversation.  “I’m just going to give it another quick read, though.” He said as he opened the binder in his hand and proceeded to pore over the pages, pretending to read. 

“We should be finished with the beta testing by the end of the month, so you’ll be able to go into production about two months ahead of schedule.” Bruce was saying to the other man that Thor now recognized as Tony Stark, as he glanced sideways at the two of them.

“Excellent!  I like this new-and-improved system,” Tony said as he slapped Bruce’s shoulder.  “Why did we wait so long to get you a sidekick, hm?  The guy’s alright.” he continued with a smirk.

“Loki’s not my sidekick, Tony” Bruce said chuckling.  “But he _is_ definitely going to be a welcome addition around here.  He’s a good cop, and I always knew he was smart, but he’s actually got quite an affinity for tech.”  Bruce said, smiling.  “Who knows?  In a few months he might actually be running the place!”  The two men shared a laugh as they continued bantering back and forth, but Thor didn’t hear the rest of it.  He walked swiftly towards the elevators with one goal in mind: to find Loki and get to the bottom of this.

“When were you going to tell me?” Thor demanded as he stood right before Loki, well inside his personal space.  He had found the other man in the break room, turning from the refrigerator after retrieving a bottle of water.

“Tell you what?” Loki said with a frown, deciding to affect an angry attitude to cover up his surprise and pleasure at being suddenly so close to Thor.

“You’re being transferred to I.T.?” Thor demanded as he moved a bit forward, unconsciously pressing their chests together.

The closeness and physical contact were almost too much for Loki to handle, and he was shocked at how _willing_ his body was to just give in to Thor’s.  He jerked himself away from the larger man and turned away to conceal his quickened breath. “I’m not being transferred,” he snapped.  “I _requested_ a transfer.  It’s been in the works, and Captain Rogers thinks it’ll be no problem.” Loki shrugged as he continued. “Bruce and I work well together and it’s an area that I’m good at.  Besides,” He said, suddenly defensive "what business is it of yours?"

“Of course it’s my god dammed business!” Thor sputtered, red faced and practically shaking.  He was actually rather shocked at how incredibly angry he was at that moment, but for the life of him he wasn’t sure what or who he was actually angry at.  “You’re m—“You’re a homicide detective, Loki, not a tech geek.  Wh—“

“Actually, I _am_ a tech geek!  Loki said, exasperated.   I actually studied this stuff, remember?  and I find I like it!  Besides,” He said, finally looking Thor in the eye “I think it would be better overall if you and I had some… distance.” He gestured between the two of them, at a loss for something else to say.

Throughout the week, Loki had been avoiding him, and Thor hadn’t pushed him, hoping that with time, they could save at least some part of their relationship.  As he gazed back at his former partner though, he realized with a sinking heart that Loki sounded resigned.  He was transferring because he wanted to get away from him.  It made sense.  It was probably the best course of action.  But, damn it hurt!  Later, he would probably reflect back on the conversation and agree that Loki’s actions made sense, but now? Now he was angry.  “Huh.  You get a little roughed up by a perp and you run scared?” Thor said with a sneer, “I thought you were tougher than that!” He said laughing derisively.  Loki visibly stiffened at the comment.

“That’s n— What?  You think th—“ he sputtered “This move has NOTHING to do with Carl’s attack—“

“No, no, I get it!  Not everyone can handle this side of police work.”  Thor sneered coldly.  “Anyway, Glad you got what you wanted.”  He said as he walked out of the room without a backwards glance. 

Thor regretted his words almost immediately.  Why had he flat-out insulted Loki like that?  Thor knew the guy could hold his own in any situation.  He was one of the toughest cops he knew.  By the time he reached his desk, his anger had dissipated into pure shame at his petty behavior.  He had acted like a sulky child, angry at not getting what he wanted.  And what did I want?  Thor asked himself as he sat at his desk.  Sadness washed over him as he realized he’d just wanted his friend back.

“Oh my god! There you are!” Jane said exasperated as she hurried over to Thor, bringing his train of thought to a screeching halt.  “I’ve been looking for you all over.  I wanted to tell you to meet me at noon today.  I thought we’d have lunch together, since you cancelled on me last night.  Again!” Jane said with a laugh, trying for levity, even though amusement never reached her eyes. 

_Oh good god, what now?_   Thor thought to himself, closing his eyes as he heard Jane behind him.  Ever since she had broken the news about the pregnancy, she had become very difficult to be around.  She’d become clingy and needy, always finding excuses to show up in his department or surprise him at his desk.  But all that was nothing compared to her behavior when other people were around!  She would ratchet up the affection, clinging to his arm and smiling serenely as she accepted congratulations.  It was driving Thor crazy!  “Sorry.  Can’t right now.” He said tiredly, without looking at Jane.  “I’ve got to get through these forensics reports.  You go on without me.” 

The silence dragged out for so long, that Thor actually thought Jane had left.  He was startled when she spoke again.  “Alright.” She said quietly.  “But don’t forget we have dinner tonight with Bill and Wanda.  Six o’clock.  Don’t be late.” She said tightly, before walking away, radiating anger.

Thor sighed as he exhaled a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.  At first, he’d been blindsided by the whole baby thing, but now that he’d had some time to get used to the idea, he was starting to warm up to it.  Jane, though, was another story.  She would frequently say to anyone who would listen that, ‘of _course_ they were getting married, and of _course_ they were thrilled!’ Two months ago, ( _before Loki_ , he thought to himself) Thor wouldn’t have questioned this development, blindly accepting the marriage and baby as the natural next step of his life.  But now?  Now he wasn’t so sure.  His time with Loki had changed his perspective in so many ways and, while he knew he wanted to be there for the baby, he wasn’t so sure about Jane any more.  He had to tell her, he just wasn’t sure how.

. o O o .

Jane was able to control the wave of panic that washed over her until she was halfway back to her office.  _I’m running out of time!_   She thought frantically, even as she smiled at co-workers on her way to her desk.  Not for the first time, she marveled at the gigantic mess her life had morphed into.  _What the hell am I doing?  Why the hell did I tell Thor I was pregnant?!?_   When she had confronted Thor after seeing him kiss Loki, She had never intended to lie to him, but she had seen her whole future dissolving before her eyes.  All her plans, all her dreams of a perfect life with Thor, were suddenly in jeopardy, and she’d panicked.  She’d blurted out the one thing she thought would bind him to her, like some conniving female.  _God, I’m such a cliché!_   She thought to herself.  _Trying to get pregnant to hold on to a man!_   At this point, she wasn’t even sure a baby is what she would want, but she’d dug a pretty deep hole for herself, and she knew no other way for this to play out. 

Then there’s the original problem: How to produce a baby when she couldn’t even get Thor into bed!  Since the day of the _Great Lie_ , Thor had seemed happy with the news, but he hadn’t so much as touched her, much less spent the night with her.  In her panicked brain, Jane had concocted a plan to get pregnant after the fact, and deal with the calendar discrepancy later, but so far, it hadn’t been possible.  Thor had been so distant, preoccupied and… sad.  Jane was conflicted because, even though she wanted to win (yes, it had become somewhat of a contest in her head!) she didn’t want to hurt Thor.  Or Loki.  _Something’s gotta give, eventually._   Jane thought as she got to work.   _I’ve got to get a handle on this,_ she thought as she steeled herself to endure another awkward dinner with her boyfriend and their friends.

. o O o .

Even though Thor would never act on it, he really needed a drink right now.  In all fairness, everyone needed a drink after meeting with Dr. Reed.  The man was brilliant, and he was the best at forensics analysis, but he was the very definition of mad scientist.  He always had an abundance of crazy theories and went off on tangents in the middle of some explanation or conversation.  Thor had spent the last hour with him discussing the red fibers found in both murder sites, and while the man drove him crazy, he did have information.  Turned out the fibers were wool, but nothing that was readily available in the open market.  Reed said he would have more as soon as he did more tests.  As he made his way back to his desk, he thought he should share the info with Loki.  Sure, they weren’t lead on the case anymore, but he was sure Loki would be interested, right?  Of course he would.  Thor unconsciously sped up, wanting to reach their floor quickly, not admitting to himself that he was excited at seeing his former partner. 

As Thor gazed around his department, he noted Loki’s absence, and was suddenly seized with an irrational panic that he might already be gone.  He stood rooted on his spot, trying to regulate his breathing.  He suddenly bolted towards the Captain’s office purposefully, barging in without knocking.  “Is he gone already?” He demanded as he leaned on Captain Rogers’ desk, moving forward to bring his face closer to his.  

The only reaction the captain had was a sardonic lift of his eyebrow, as he calmly finished his phone conversation and hung up.  “First of all, that door was closed for a reason.” Captain Rogers started calmly, standing slowly.  “I didn’t realize I had to cover this, but when the door’s closed, you knock!”  By the time he finished his sentence, he was yelling, letting Thor’s rudeness get to him. 

“I – I apologize,” Thor said, taking a step back, getting a hold of himself.  “But I was just curious.  Is he gone?” He knew he didn’t have to elaborate on a name.

“No,” the captain finally, letting his head drop down as he closed his eyes and gathered his thoughts.  “He just left.  Had to leave town on family business.”  He looked Thor directly in the eyes as he continued “His sister was in a pretty bad car accident.  He got the call a couple of hours ago and left.  He’s gonna – Thor!  Wait!” The captain yelled, but Thor probably didn’t hear him, as he was already running out the office and down the stairs, on his way to catch the next flight to Las Vegas.

. o O o .

As he maneuvered his rental car through the suburban streets near the Las Vegas Strip, Thor cursed under his breath and fought the urge to ram the car into every excruciatingly slow driver on the road.  He was driving towards North Vista Hospital, where Loki’s sister had been taken, once again trying to tamp down the panic.  He hadn’t been able to fly out of San Diego until 3:30, missing the last flight by an hour, so he’d used the time to locate Darcy’s address, since Loki wasn’t answering his phone.  By the time he’d landed, he was able to just jump into his rental car and go.  He’d stopped at the apartment just long enough to speak to her neighbor, who told him what hospital to go to, as a little boy gazed at him from behind her legs.  He jumped back in the car, feeling that panic rise again.  He had an unshakeable feeling that Loki was in distress… or in trouble… he wasn’t sure.  What he did know was that he needed to get to him.  Now. 

Thor ran into the Emergency room, quickly looking around for the information desk.  As he scanned the room though, he spotted Loki, sitting in one of those uncomfortable waiting room chairs, clutching a coat in his hands and staring blankly at the far wall.  Thor took a deep breath and released it, surprised at the sudden relief he felt at just _seeing_ him.  “Loki,” he called out as he rushed towards him, sitting in the chair next to him and grasping the other man by the upper arms.  Loki turned his head in Thor’s direction, but didn’t seem to register who he was.  His eyes were opened wide, and they seemed unfocused.  For a moment, he looked lost, and Thor saw the exact moment that recognition happened, almost like a puzzle piece falling into place.  His face slowly crumpled as his shoulders sagged and he collapsed against Thor’s chest, openly sobbing.  Thor stiffened at first, even as his arms automatically encircled Loki, thinking that he was somehow physically injured.  As he rubbed his back, though, listening to Loki’s pained sobs, he was able to hear the barely articulated words, which made his heart ache on Loki’s behalf.  “She’s gone.  She’s dead.”


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first off, I'm so sorry that this took so long to post! Life just gets in the way! I hope this installment makes up for it somewhat. Hope you like it, and I've already got the next chapter half-done, so you won't have to wait so long for another fix. 
> 
> Plus, wonderful new artwork at the end of this chapter by the talented GoLikeThatCat.
> 
> As always, thanks so much for following along!

_Okay, it’s official_ , Thor thought to himself, _Hospitals suck._   He sat ramrod straight in one of the uncomfortable chairs, waiting for Loki to return.  He had cried for a while, mumbling laments in between sobs, ‘She’s gone… never got to say goodbye… should’ve been here…’ and through it all Thor held him in his arms, at one point even pulling the unresisting brunet onto his lap, cradling and soothing him as much as he could.  Thor shuddered as he recalled Loki’s raw anguish, his body trembling with grief, and his heart broke for him.  He had never seen him so broken and vulnerable before, and he felt powerless against this situation.  Thor had murmured soft platitudes in his ear as he softly ran his hands over Loki’s back and smoothed his fingers over his hair, wanting to give him as much comfort as possible, feeling sadness but also guilt.  Guilt because, even as he clutched Loki to him, wanting to comfort, he also reveled in the feel of this body next to his, ecstatic at being able to hold him close once again, touching him, _smelling_ him… Thor winced inwardly as he recalled bringing his mouth down to Loki’s temple at one point and just pressing his lips there for a moment, not being able to resist.  Maybe that was too much?  He wasn’t sure.  He hoped Loki hadn’t noticed.  Soon after, Loki’s crying had ebbed and he had disentangled himself, apologizing profusely for making a mess of Thor’s shirt, then went off to the bathroom to clean himself up. 

After about ten minutes, when Thor was beginning to worry that maybe there was something wrong, Loki returned to the waiting room, his steps hesitant as he entered.  Their eyes met and Loki gave him a small, sad smile.  His face was blotchy and his eyes red-rimmed, yet Thor’s heart involuntarily clenched at the sight.  _My God he’s beautiful_ , his mind supplied unexpectedly, causing him to jolt in surprise.  He quickly got up and met him halfway, reaching out to grasp both Loki’s arms, as if meaning to support him.  “Hey, you okay?” Thor murmured, peering into his eyes.

“Yeah.” Loki said, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another, averting his eyes from Thor’s gaze.  “I’m sorry about that… Sorry you had to… see that!” he huffed out a laugh as he gestured at the chair he’d been sitting on, clearly embarrassed at his earlier behavior.

“Come on,” Thor said guiding him back to one of the chairs. “I think you’re allowed.  Under these circumstances.” He smiled, “So what happened?  You wanna talk about it?” Thor coaxed, reaching out to clasp Loki’s hands.

Taking two deep breaths, Loki leaned down, resting his elbows on his knees and directing his gaze to the far wall.  “Car accident,” he said evenly.  “She was out, partying with some friends last night.  She was the passenger.  Driver was drunk.  _Very_ Drunk.” Loki held his head in his hands, suddenly feeling very tired.  “They ran a red light and were t-boned by an SUV.  Apparently, no one was wearing a seatbelt.” He finished as his eyes welled up with tears.  “God, she’s such a fucking idiot!” Loki growled into his hands as he tried to fight off a fresh wave of tears.  “She never thinks!  Never thinks about… what’s this… oh my god, what’s this gonna do to Ian?”  Loki whispered the last words, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

“Where is he now?” Thor said as he rubbed his hand up and down Loki’s back, trying to give comfort.  Loki had frequently spoken of his three-year-old nephew during their time together in Sapphire Towers.  The stories he’d shared with Thor showed how much he doted on his nephew and how much he worried about his future.  He knew from Loki that Ian had abandonment issues, what with his mother leaving him at various baby sitters, sometimes for days at a time, not knowing when she would return.  This situation would certainly be a huge blow to the boy. 

“He’s with Mrs. Bailey.” Loki said flatly.  “Darcy’s neighbor.” _Ah, so that was Ian,_ Thor thought, remembering the young boy he had seen back at Darcy’s apartment building.  “He’s probably freaking out… probably wondering where his mama is…” He rubbed his face and took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down as he spoke. “I need to go to him.” Loki said, resigned.  “I’d better wrap things up here first…” his words tapered off as he turned questioningly to Thor, questions suddenly popping into his head.  “Thor, what are—“

“We’ll go talk to hospital admin first.” Thor said quickly, not letting Loki finish his thought.  “Have arrangements… been made?”

“Um… yes.” Loki said absently, still wondering how Thor came to be there.

“Do you have the information?” Thor asked, then took the envelope that Loki pulled out of the pocket of his jacket. 

“Um, I think I need to—“ Loki began, then was cut off.

“Come on,” Thor said decisively, taking Loki’s hand and pulling him up and towards the desk “We’ll give them the mortuary’s information.  They can take it from there.” He finished, turning to face Loki, holding him by the forearms as he squeezed slightly, in reassurance.  Then we’ll go see Ian, ok?” He smiled softly at him before turning to speak to the social worker.  Loki stood mutely aside, slightly bemused, as he watched Thor take charge of the situation.  It was still somewhat surreal to have him here, now.  But he wasn’t going to complain.  It was nice having him here.  Comforting.  He was going to take solace in it and not let himself think about… reality for now.

The two men were silent as they walked down the corridor towards Darcy’s apartment.  They hadn't spoken at all in the car after leaving the hospital, each lost in his own thoughts.  Loki broke the silence as he reached out to grasp Thor’s arm. “I think I should talk to him alone first” he said uncertainly as he looked at Thor, hoping his former partner would understand.  “Could you wait for me at Darcy’s?” He said, handing Thor a set of keys. 

“Yes, of course, whatever you need, Loki.” Thor answered quickly, taking the keys, eager to help as much as he could.  They kept walking as Loki directed Thor to Darcy’s door and moved on to the neighboring one. 

As he watched Loki enter the apartment, Thor resisted the urge to follow, anxious on his friend’s behalf.  He instead let himself into Darcy’s apartment and sat at her small kitchen table, looking around.  The apartment was sparsely furnished, seemingly sporting only the bare necessities.  He noted Ian’s presence everywhere and shuddered as he thought about this poor kid’s life, changed completely now, without a mother.  As his eyes scanned around, he caught sight of a picture in the other room, sitting on a little side table, with some very familiar green eyes looking back at him.    Thor jumped up and rushed over without thinking, eager to get a closer look.  It was one of those souvenir shots taken at Disneyland, in front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle, but enlarged to fit onto an 8x10 frame.  In it, Darcy, Loki and Ian smiled widely at the camera, huddling close together.  They all wore coats and scarves, showing it was probably winter.  Loki held Ian in his arms, his face pressed against the boy’s, while Ian’s chubby hand pressed against Loki’s other cheek, as if trying to pull him closer.  The three looked so happy, and it broke Thor’s heart to realize there would never be pictures like this again.  Sure, Ian would spend time with his Uncle Loki, but he wouldn’t see his mother again.  Thor was shocked to realize that his eyes were filling with tears at the thought of the boy.  _I guess this all falls to Loki now,_ Thor thought to himself as he looked around, picking up and examining pictures that included Loki.  _I hope whoever he leaves Ian with lets Loki be as big a part of his life as he wants…_ Thor thought uncomfortably, not really knowing how that was going to be handled. 

Some time later, Thor was sitting in the living room, flipping through a photo album he had found on the crowded bookshelf, when he heard the front door open.  He looked up and saw Loki walking in cradling the toddler in his arms.  He stood and took a step forward before stopping, not really sure what to do.  Loki gave him a small smile as he walked towards him and gestured that he should sit back down. 

“Ian, this is my friend Thor” Loki said, stroking the boy’s back as he sat on the couch.  “Do you want to say hello?”  Ian’s head was resting on Loki’s shoulder and Thor was surprised to find he was awake. 

“Noooo!” Ian whined into Loki’s shoulder, not lifting his head up.

“Okay, let's go take a nap then.” Loki said with finality, as he patted his back twice and stood.  _‘I’ll be right back’_ he mouthed to Thor before walking out of the room and down the hall.  Thor sat in stunned silence, not knowing quite what to do.  He sat nervously and waited for the other man to return. 

When Loki came back, he dropped next to Thor on the couch and threw his head back, squeezing his eyes shut, fighting the tears that were trying to escape.  Thor placed his hand on a trembling shoulder, trying to offer some kind of comfort.  “Well, that was a hell of a thing,” Loki deadpanned, trying for a little levity after getting his tears under control. 

“How is he?” Thor asked hesitantly.  “And while we're at it, how are you?”  He said, taking in Loki’s expression.  He looked so tired, his eyes bloodshot, even looking a little paler than usual.   

“He took it as well as expected.”  Loki said quietly.  “I don't know if he fully grasps things, but he knows his mom’s not coming back –“ his voice cracked and he stopped talking suddenly, not able to continue.  Thor reached over and took his hand, squeezing in reassurance, causing Loki to turn and smile.  “In case I forget to mention it, I’m really glad you’re here.” He said, squeezing back.  Their eyes locked and the gaze lingered for a moment before Loki looked away. “I mean, I don't know how… Or what brought you here,” he said, huffing out a nervous laugh, “but… Thanks. Really.  That hospital thing… I don't know how I would have made it through without you.”  He turned to look at Thor and was jolted by the intensity in the expression he saw there.

“I’ll always be there for you, Loki.  Thor said quietly, as his hand came up and caressed the other man’s neck, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on his jawline.  “Whenever you need me… You won't be alone.”

Despite the jumble of emotions that the day had been, Thor’s gentle touch brought forth a very distinct rush of _lust_ through Loki.  He instinctively leaned forward as his eyes drifted shut, not able to deny the man he loved.  Their lips met and Loki sighed into it, feeling like a thirsty man finally getting a drink of water.  _God, I’ve missed this!_ He said to himself, as he coaxed Thor's lips open with his tongue and delved in, exploring and reacquainting himself, taking control of the kiss as it became more heated. 

Both of Thor’s hands tangled in Loki’s long hair as he eagerly responded to the kiss.  He leaned back onto the couch, pulling Loki on top of him, all the while pulling his face closer as he bit at his lip and captured the brunet’s tongue in his mouth, eliciting a low moan from the other man.  Thor’s mind quickly scrambled after hearing and feeling the sounds Loki was making, and began running his hands low on Loki’s body clumsily fumbling with the pants zipper. 

It was then that Loki suddenly jerked away, jumping up at the same time so he landed awkwardly beside the couch, half standing half crouching, panting heavily and rambling quickly.  “Wh-what… What the _fuck!_ ” he muttered “I’m so sorry! What the fuck am I doing?” He said, still trying to control his breathing. “My sister just—“

“No, _I’m_ sorry, Loki!” Thor said, quickly standing up and running his unsteady hands through his own hair.  “I shouldn’t’ve—“

“—and Ian! Oh my god, he’s just in the other—“

“I took advantage, just… Should control mysel—“

“No, no it's my fault—“

“No, it’s _my_ fault—“

They realized they had spoken the same thing at the same time and stood before each other for a beat, not saying anything, until suddenly they both burst out laughing. 

“Um,” Thor said after he got his laughter under control. “So… as I was saying, can I help you with anything?” He finished, smiling. 

“Actually, there are a couple of things.”  Loki said, also smiling, as he walked around an armchair and leaned on it.  By unspoken agreement, they kept their distance, neither trusting themselves to be physically close.  “I need a few things from the store… For Ian.” He said thoughtfully.  “There’s not much in the fridge, and it's gonna be hard enough to get Ian to eat…”

“Yeah, I’ll go.  What can I get?” Thor said, moving towards the door. 

“Actually,” Loki said hesitantly, “would you mind staying here while I make a quick run?  I know what he likes, and I know where the store is...”

“Oh,” Thor said hesitantly, “um, sure… what if he wakes up, though?” He turned his head towards the hallway questioningly. 

“Oh, he won't.” Loki assured him, already moving towards the door. “Mrs. Bailey said he didn't nap all day… When I get back it’ll be his dinner time.  Thanks so much, I’ll be right back!” He said as the door closed behind him. 

Before starting the car, Loki took a moment to compose himself, gripping the steering wheel as he took a few deep breaths _.  I am the worst kind of lowlife there is!_ He admonished himself.  “Hey, Darcy died this morning, why don't I have sex on her couch, just for laughs?” He said out loud, derisively mocking himself.  He couldn't believe his behavior moments ago!  As he started the car and began driving to the store, he kept replaying the last few minutes, wincing in embarrassment at himself.  Thor was just trying to be nice… Trying to be supportive, but they hadn't been close in a long time, and Loki had missed him so much… He hadn't even fully registered what was happening until he felt Thor's hard length on his thigh. 

“And Ian!” He muttered out loud as he walked around the grocery store, picking up His nephew’s favorite things, “what if he had walked in just then?” He thought as he reached the cashier, a knot clenching at his chest at the thought.  He had to put him first now.  Ian had no one else.  A sudden wave of sorrow overtook him as he thought of his sister.  Darcy had been so vibrant and full of life.  He knew she had never fully dealt with all the crap they had dealt with in their childhood, and he felt a swell of guilt at having left her to deal on her own.  It was now up to Loki to find a suitable home for his nephew.  It was the least he could do.  A swell of panic bubbled up within him at the thought, until he remembered his foster parents would be arriving soon.  He had spoken to Deanna (He still couldn't always call her mom, despite her constant encouragements for him to do so…) earlier that morning, and she assured him they would join him the following day.  Hopefully they would know what to do.  Just thinking about his parents ( _parents!!!_ ) made him feel better.  “Yep, they’ll know what to do” he said decisively as he pulled into the apartment’s parking lot.

As he stood in front of Darcy’s apartment, Loki suddenly heard two very distinct, very familiar voices, deep in conversation.

“I don't know… Red’s good, but he prefers wearing green, don't you think?” Thor’s voice asked, clear, yet hushed and gentle, as if trying not to startle.

“Ya, but…” Ian's voice answered distractedly, and Loki recognized that tone as ‘Ian's focused voice’ “lookit, the green’s little.  An’ grass ‘s green.”

Loki hesitated, holding the key just in front of the keyhole.  _What the…?_ He thought as he turned the key as quietly as possible, even though he knew he wouldn't be able to sneak up on Thor.

“Well then, What if we make the grass blue?” Loki heard Thor say as he crept through the kitchen and paused at the doorway, looking into the living room, where he could see source of the conversation.  Thor and Ian were sitting on the floor at the coffee table, crayons and sheets of paper strewn about. From where he stood, he could see Thor's face, and, while his words had been serious, he could see the man was trying hard not to laugh.

“No!” Ian said, huffing out a little snort and, even though Loki couldn't see his face yet, he knew he’d rolled his tiny eyes at Thor.  “Grass is green!” he declared, before bending his face low, his nose nearly touching the paper, and continued his drawing, satisfied that his point got across.

Thor huffed out a laugh as he glanced up, then smiled widely as he saw Loki standing, stunned, watching the interaction.  Before either could react, Ian looked up and caught sight of Loki.

“Daddy! You comed back!”  Ian called out loudly as he ran towards Loki and flung his arms around his neck, hugging tightly.  “Tor said, an’ you camed!”  Loki convulsively swallowed around the lump in his throat, feeling awful that Ian had doubted his return.

“Of course I did, buddy.  I just went to the store to get us some dinosaur nuggets for dinner.” Loki said as he rubbed his hand over the boys back soothingly, as he rocked back and forth.  He could feel Ian’s fingers repeatedly squeeze and release at the back of his neck, gaining some kind of comfort at the gesture.

“Yeah… _daddy_ ,” Thor said loudly, a smirk on his face, causing Loki to wince at the title.  “Ian here says the thing to do is to leave a note.” As Thor spoke, he walked towards the pair. “If you're taking off, I mean.  Just so we know when you're coming back. _Dad_.”  He emphasized the last word, drawing it out a bit.  He finished, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the wall, an eyebrow raised in question.  Loki turned his gaze at Thor, silently pleading with him not to say anything about Ian’s name for him.  Thor kept his gaze, a wicked smile playing on his face, making Loki nervous, until he finally laughed, shaking his head, letting Loki off the hook.  “Come on Ian,” Thor said pushing away from the wall and moving forward. “Let’s go see what _Daddy_ –“ he looked at Loki meaningfully, a grin on his face “brought for dinner.” He plucked Ian out of Loki’s arms as he walked by, on his way to the kitchen, and flipped him around in the air before bringing the squealing boy back down into his arms. 

It was a moment before Loki moved to follow the two into the kitchen.  He shook his head in wonder, hardly able to believe his eyes.  This little boy hardly resembled the one he had encountered at Mrs. Bailey’s earlier.  He knew they weren’t out of the woods yet, but this was a good start towards healing for Ian, and Loki felt completely grateful to Thor for his easy manner.

The next few hours were spent in a sort of surreal domesticity.  The three fell into an easy routine, each participating in a simple dinner, then eating together while Ian regaled Loki with the drawings he and Thor had made.  Most of the drawings were of Loki and Darcy, which brought tears to his eyes.

As they ate, Loki gleaned the story of how Ian and Thor had met from the bits and pieces he heard.  Apparently, Ian had woken up a few minutes after Loki had driven away, and had promptly proceeded to freak out.  Loki was impressed at the fact that Thor had managed to calm him down, reassure him and entertain him until Loki returned.  As they shared dinner, and Thor made no move to leave, though, Loki wondered what his former partner had planned.  He loved having him there, and Ian’s response to him was great as well, but he had a life to get back to, didn’t he?  All day and evening, Loki had deliberately ignored the telltale buzzing of Thor’s phone, indicating the constant texts he was receiving, and promptly ignoring, so obviously, he was being missed… _What is he up to?_   Loki couldn’t help but wonder. 

For all his chattiness, Ian didn’t seem to want to talk about his mom, simply ignoring the questions Loki made.  Loki figured it was okay for now.  He had just lost his mom today, and he was sure there would be fallout later.  Bedtime, however, was a complete ordeal.  He fought Loki on everything from brushing his teeth to putting on his pajamas, and when Loki laid him down on his bed, Ian screeched and whined, saying he wasn’t sleepy.

“Come on Ian,” Loki said, trying not to lose his patience, “Just give it a try.  Close your eyes and I’ll turn out the lights…”

“Noooo!” Ian whined.  “I don’ wanna!” he cried, flinging himself on Loki, clutching his neck.  “Don’ wanna sleep!”

“H-hey,” Loki said, surprised at Ian’s extreme reaction.  “It’s okay, look, I’m right here” he said uncertainly.  He hugged Ian to him, stroking his back soothingly.  _Well shit_ , Loki thought, his mind finally catching up.  _This kid’s mom just died and I suggested leaving him alone in a dark room.  Why don’t I just sneak in later with a scary mask to finish the job?!_  He thought, feeling all kinds of awful. 

“Okay, new plan” he said to Ian. “I’ll lay down with you, okay?  We can keep each other company.”  He tried to pull the boy away from his chest, so he could look him in the eye, but Ian stayed resolutely glued to him, clinging to him with arms and legs, his face buried in his shoulder.  _Yep, I suck at taking care of kids._ He thought to himself.  He walked out into the hallway and towards the living room, where he found Thor, sitting at the couch, doing something on his phone.  He stood quickly, a wary look on his face.

“Apparently, we’re going to bed now.” Loki said, raising both arms, palms up, to show how the boy was clinging to him.  “You can – I mean – if you want – I don’t know what you were planning, but, if you want to sleep here… Ian’s room is free…”

“I would appreciate it, thanks.” Thor said, a smile on his face, which began slipping as his phone once again buzzed, indicating another text.  The two men froze for a moment, not knowing if they should acknowledge the alert, when Ian suddenly sniffled and whimpered, still crying slightly.

“Okay, so… you should find everything you need in the hall closet,” Loki said briskly, studiously ignoring the phone.  I’d better get this guy to bed.  Goodnight,” he said, as he hesitantly walked away.  He had hoped to have an opportunity to talk to Thor, thank him for being there, but… oh well.  Maybe tomorrow. 

“Goodnight,” Thor said quietly, watching until they disappeared into Darcy’s room.  He walked back to the couch and sank down, huffing out a frustrated breath as he leaned back.  He had hoped to have some time with Loki, to talk and reconnect, but he knew Ian should come first.  Thor smiled to himself as he rehashed that afternoon.  Loki had been so good with Ian, engaging him, getting him to eat, to laugh…  Thor felt his chest tighten as he thought about Ian’s situation yet again.  He wondered what would happen to him.  _He’s a great kid,_ he thought.  _Maybe when Loki goes to visit, I could tag along, hang out with the two of them…_

 _Or not._   Thor thought, suddenly shaking himself out of his reverie.  Loki didn’t necessarily want him around.  He was trying to distance himself from him back home, at work.  What about the kiss? A voice in his head insisted.  But Thor chalked that up to crazy emotions surging between the two of them due to stress.  _Loki’s moving on with his life… I hope he can still consider me his friend…_ Thor thought anxiously, as just the idea of being away from the man filled him with dread. 

The phone in his pants pocket buzzed yet again, causing Thor to tense in annoyance.  _Jane_.  She’d been texting him all day, at first concerned, quickly morphing to annoyance once she knew where he had gone and who he was with.  Thor’s brow furrowed as he thought of Jane’s reaction upon hearing he’d come to be with Loki.  She had become irate and angry, almost vicious, hanging up on him when he’d finally called her.  Her attitude towards Loki had changed a great deal since the investigation had ended, and he really had no idea why.  She had no reason to dislike Loki, yet her behavior… Thor shook his head, not really understanding her.  He looked at the clock above the TV.  Only ten o’clock.  Oh well.  He should go to bed.  Tomorrow, they’d have a chance to talk.  He walked over to Ian’s room, and began undressing, emptying his pockets and putting the contents on the kid-sized dresser before removing his pants.  He typed out a simple response to yet another of Jane’s messages. GOODNIGHT JANE, he typed, before setting the phone to complete silence, not wanting to hear that buzz while he tried to sleep.

Once he was finally down to his t-shirt and boxers, Thor finally turned and faced the tiny bed.  It was a tiny thing, and Thor would probably snap it in half, if he could even manage to curl his large form on top of it.  Thor huffed out a laugh as he ran his hand through his hair.  He grabbed Ian’s dinosaur covered pillow and headed out the door, meaning to sleep on the couch.  As he stood in the hallway, though, he decided to check on the two before going to bed.  He walked over to Darcy’s room and pushed the door open slowly.  Loki was lying on his side on the bed, curled around a sleeping Ian.  Ian was on his side as well, his body curled into Loki’s.  His face pressed against Loki’s chest, and one of his tiny fists grasped into Loki’s t-shirt as he breathed in and out, deeply asleep.  As he gazed at the two, Thor suddenly realized that Loki wasn’t asleep.  His shoulders were shaking slightly and, while one arm wrapped around Ian, his other hand covered his face.  Thor clenched and unclenched his fists in despair as he realized Loki was crying.  Without another thought, he moved over to the bed and lay down behind Loki, putting his arm around the two, resting his hand next to Loki’s on Ian’s back.  At first Loki tensed and gasped, seemingly embarrassed at being caught crying. _Again_.  but after a moment, he merely sighed and relaxed into the embrace.  That night, despite the trying day, the three slept soundly, safe and secure in each other’s company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated!


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angsty times for Loki and Thor! Hope you like it!

As the early morning sun filtered into the room, Loki rolled over, frowning at the brightness.  He sighed deeply as he stretched, slowly waking up, caught in that blissful moment before true consciousness.  When the memory of the previous day began to creep into his mind, though, Loki quickly opened his eyes and sat up.  _Oh my god, Darcy!_ He thought.  He was in Darcy’s bed.  Darcy was dead… His shoulders dropped as if the weight of the previous day was suddenly set squarely on his shoulders.  “She’s really gone” Loki said softly, looking around.  _But where the hell is Ian_?!? He thought panicking as he looked around the bedroom wildly, suddenly wide awake.  The boy had been in such distress the day before, constantly crying, and now he was gone!  Where is he?  Loki thought, jumping out of bed and rushing out the room.  In seconds, he was half-way cross the tiny apartment, when he stopped just before the kitchen doorway, leaning against the wall, his heart beating wildly.  He could hear Thor and Ian, deep in conversation in the kitchen.  Loki crept the rest of the way to the door, peeking around the corner, spying the pair, their backs to him, Ian standing on a chair, both busy at work preparing breakfast.

“-- Cuz Mz Bailey make pa’cakes n’ she showed me.” Ian was saying seriously, as he messily stirred the contents of the bowl before him.

“Oh yes," Thor said seriously "I see you’re very good at that.” He reached over and held the bowl steady, trying to hold back a grin. “You’re a very good cook.  Just like your dad.” He said with a smile.  “Are pancakes your favorite?"

"Ya, daddy too," he said smiling up at Thor.

Loki slowly backed away, not wanting to disturb too much as he quietly headed back to the bedroom.  He needed to get away before he choked on the lump in his throat.  Lately, everything was reducing him to tears, and the sight of Thor and Ian, hair rumpled, still in pajamas (well, Ian, anyway.  Loki didn't miss the fact that Thor was in his underwear!) cooking breakfast together, was the most endearing sight he'd seen in a long time.  Loki stopped in front of Ian's room and leaned against the doorjamb, rubbing his eyes to clear away some of the moisture there.  He would have thought it impossible, but he'd slept so soundly the night before ( _after Thor got into bed with you!_   his mind supplied) that he didn't even feel them get up.  It was a wonderful feeling, being here with the two of them, even through his grief.  He smiled through his tears as he allowed himself to be content, looking forward to a family (family!!!) breakfast.  He stood at the doorway, listening to the faint sounds of the two voices drifting from the kitchen, while his unfocused gaze drifted through Ian’s room.  His eyes suddenly focused on some familiar items, out of place among the child's things.  He walked in and gathered Thor’s clothes off the floor, smiling as he was reminded of their time at the condo.  He picked up Thor’s keys, money and phone, intending to take them over to the living room, when the phone suddenly lit up in his hands, indicating a text.  Loki’s eyes automatically fell to the screen, and he froze as he read the sender’s name.  Before the phone automatically went dark, Loki was able to note that Jane had not only texted just now, but many times before.  He hesitated a moment before pressing the ‘home’ button, bringing up the list of texts again.  He scrolled quickly, knowing he shouldn’t be looking, but unable to stop.  _47 messages.  Just this morning.  It’s only 8:45…_ Loki thought, as he read snippets of some of the texts.

**‘missing you.. hope everything’s alright’**

**‘haven’t heard from you in a while. Everything ok?’**

**‘mom’s birthday, sending flowers from both of us’**

**‘just woke up, missed not having you here’**

As the phone went dark once again, Loki steeled himself, taking a few deep breaths.  _It happened again.  I actually let myself fall for it again!_ He thought, with a mixture of despair and surprise.  Loki had begun falling into his old role, imagining the two of them as a couple.  Thor was being so sweet and attentive, making both him and Ian feel safe and cared for and yet, the whole time, he had a life waiting for him back in San Diego.  His pregnant almost-wife obviously misses him, and by the looks of it, they've been in constant contact! 

 _He's Never Going To Leave Her_ The captain’s words floated through his head as he stared down at Thor’s darkened phone in his hand, gripping it tightly, for a few moments.  _Then what the hell is he doing… fucking cuddling me!_ Loki thought angrily, suddenly flinging Thor’s phone across the room.  It flew out the door and hit the hallway wall, leaving a mark before landing on the floor.  

 _Shit!_   Loki thought, immediately regretting his actions.  He rushed out, picking up the now broken phone.  The screen was completely shattered, and some of the pixels were dead, _and yet, texts are still coming in,_ Loki thought wryly as he examined the tech, noticing the screen lighting up. 

“What happened?” Thor called out, rushing out of the kitchen towards Loki in the hall, Ian not far behind.

“Hey!  Morning buddy!” Loki said, directing his attention to Ian.  He leaned down and scooped the boy up with one arm, easily accepting a tight hug.  

“Loki, what –“ Thor tried to say, but Loki ignored him for the moment.

“What is all over your jammies?” He said looking down at Ian’s clothes.

“pa’cakes!” he said patting the flour on his chest, smiling. “Me an’ Tor maked ‘em” Loki turned and glanced at Thor, not an ounce of warmth in his eyes.

“Oh, here.”  Loki said, handing Thor his broken phone.  “I dropped this.  Accidentally.”  He then turned back to Ian.  “Go in your room and pick out your favorite t-shirt, okay?” he put the boy down in his bedroom, ruffling his hair as he began to close the door. 

“But, we gonna eat pa’cakes!” Ian whined, his bottom lip trembling slightly.  Loki regarded him guiltily and some of his anger faded at seeing that plaintive little face.   _He doesn’t deserve to be mixed up in this,_ he thought sadly.  _He deserves so much more…_

“Let me just talk to Thor, okay?” He said grabbing Thor’s things off the dresser and quickly stepping out.  “We have to get ready.  Gramma Deanna and Grampa Bill are coming today.  You wanna see them right?” he said smiling, his heart clenching as he saw Ian nodding sadly.  “I’ll be right back to help you clean up.” He said closing the door.  He then turned without a glance at Thor and started walking towards the living room, leaving Thor no choice but to follow.

“That must have been one hell of a drop.” Thor said quietly, holding up his phone.  He had attempted levity, but it fell flat in the face of the anger emanating from Loki.  Intuitively, Thor knew it was directed at him, and a glance at the texts on his phone had told him why.

“Here,” Loki said shoving Thor’s belongings in his hands.  “You can get ready in here while I go help Ian.  That way you can get going as soon as you’re dressed…” He said coldly, stepping back and crossing his arms over his chest.

Neither man said anything for a moment, Thor stunned into silence at Loki’s sudden coldness.  “I – I’d like to stay – if it’s alright…” Thor said hesitantly.  “You still have so much to do, and I’d like – I want to help.” He finished quietly, taking a step towards Loki, hands outstretched, wanting to make some form of contact.  Loki’s eyes widened and he took a matching step back, away from him, making Thor still suddenly, aggrieved at causing Loki to be wary of him. 

“My foster parents will be here in a couple of hours.” Loki said, voice rigid, as if speaking to a stranger.  “They’re going to be helping me with arrangements, and with… Ian, so… we don’t really need you here.  It’s better if its just family” Loki said the last words in the same tone of voice, but turned his gaze away towards the window, seemingly unable to look at Thor.  

“Oh.” Thor said, finally finding his voice.  “Okay, sure.  I don’t want to be in the way” He said as he quickly pulled on his jeans and pushed his arms into his shirt, already moving towards the door.

“Besides, I’m sure you have responsibilities waiting for you back home,” Loki said briskly, suddenly moving around the living room, straightening out pictures and arranging the pillows on the couch, wanting to give his hands something to do.  Thor stopped, one foot still hovering over his shoe. 

“Loki… those texts… its…“ Thor gestured uselessly, at a loss for what to say.  How could he convey his confusion and frustration when it came to Jane?

“You’d better get going,” Loki said, his back to Thor. “I’d hate for you to get caught in traffic.” 

As he stood with his hand on the doorknob for a moment, Thor fought the urge to rush and embrace Loki, wiping away the rigid line of his shoulders.  Loki seemed so angry, so lost, but Thor had no idea what to say to him.  How could he help his friend when he wasn’t sure about his own feelings?  “Actually, I flew, but a drive does sound good.” Thor finally said, opening the door.  “Say goodbye to Ian for me.  Tell him... just tell him goodbye for me.”  He walked out, shutting the door and walking away, certain of only one thing: that leaving now was the wrong thing to do.

. o O o .

Thor watched the young intern – Chad? – walk quickly away from him, trying his best not to look terrified.  He sighed as he closed his eyes, leaning his face into his hand and pinching the bridge of his nose, attempting to stave off a headache.   _It wasn’t the kid’s fault.  He was just trying to do his job…_ he thought, somewhat guiltily as he remembered how he had treated him.  In an effort to be helpful, the young intern had taken some files from Thor’s desk and taken them to be refiled.  Once Thor found out, he had yelled at the guy, in front of everyone, while the young man mumbled his apologies.  As soon as Thor stopped ranting, Chad hurried off, eager to get as far away as possible.  God, Thor needed to get a hold of himself!  The sad thing was, Chad wasn’t his only victim.  Ever since he’d returned from Las Vegas over a week ago, he’d been short tempered and irritable with everyone, having little patience while dealing with others.  At the precinct, most of his co-workers had taken to giving him a wide berth, not wanting to be on the receiving end of his anger, and he had hardly had any contact with Jane since returning, despite her constant phone calls.  _I can’t put her off any longer,_ Thor thought resignedly as he gathered some documents off his desk.  He’d been going over some of the data he and Loki had gathered at Sapphire Towers, and, even though he was no longer lead on the investigation, he thought it could help out Baker and Schmidt.  He knew they were still having trouble with Carl, not getting any intelligible statements from him, so maybe his research might help.  He had met with Dr. Reed and had some interesting new data regarding the red fibers he wanted to pass on, before getting to work on his other cases.   

As he packed the notes in an inter-office envelope, he pondered the fact that he really should let this one go.  It’s not like Baker and Schmidt aren’t perfectly capable, but working on the details of their former case somehow made him feel closer to Loki.  Thinking about his former partner brought up a jumble of mixed emotions in him.  He hadn’t spoken to Loki since that last day in Darcy’s apartment, when Loki had so coldly dismissed him.  Since then, he had lost count how many times he had called and texted the man, but never getting an answer.  That had been eleven days ago, and Thor still didn’t know when Loki was coming back.  It unnerved him to no end to be kept in the dark on this, but he kept resolutely silent, not asking Captain Rogers even though he was certain that he knew.   

Leaning back in his chair, Thor thought about their conversation.  He had been so frustrated at the moment, knowing that Loki was angry at him about the texts, but he’d been at a loss on how to respond to him.  I mean, yes, Jane was getting carried away with this ‘constant communication’ thing, (They had argued about it immediately upon his return) but Loki understood… didn’t he?  Thor sat up straight in his chair as he remembered their conversation.  Loki had been so closed off and cold, almost as if he was… jealous?  Thor had been pondering this on and off for a while, but their last conversation really made him think that Loki had real feelings for him, other than just a friends-with-benefits thing.  

Almost without conscious thought, Thor got up and wandered over to the desk that used to be Loki’s, sitting at the chair idly picking up and putting down random objects as he thought.  He had always suspected that maybe Loki’s feelings went further than his own, but he dismissed the thoughts out of hand.  They were two men!  They could have fun together and, yes, even have great sex, but that’s as far as that went, right?  Just because he looked forward to spending time with Loki, that didn’t mean… and he loved making him laugh!  Thor smiled as he recalled his partner’s strong, melodious laugh, the times they had been doubled over in tears over some silly thing or another.  He loved Loki’s beautiful eyes, and how they seemed to become a darker green when he gazed at him deeply… he was caring and kind, and one of the smartest men held ever met… and the events in Thor’s life didn’t seem real until he got to share them with Loki… and when he held him in his arms…

 _Oh my god, I’m in love with Loki!_   Thor thought suddenly, sitting up straight and looking around the precinct, as if expecting everyone to have heard his thoughts.  He leaned forward and held his head in his hands, somewhat overwhelmed by his realization.  His heart was beating quickly and he took a couple of deep breaths to try and center himself. _I love him.  I love Loki._   He thought over and over, a small smile growing on his face.  _Is this what it feels like?_ He thought to himself giddily.  Thor had never felt like this for anyone else before...  Not any of his other girlfriends… Images of Loki flooded his mind suddenly, Loki chatting animatedly with the other tenants at a party, working on the surveillance tech in the condo, in bed, kissing him good-morning, and his smile grew even wider.  _I’m in love with Loki!_   He thought happily as he looked down at the desk, unable to hide what he was sure was a goofy smile.  He took a deep breath and felt a sense of peace overtake him.  It seemed as if, admitting this to himself had taken a huge weight off his shoulders.  Knowing that Loki had his heart made everything seem to fall into place.

 _And Loki… Loki must love me too!_   He thought, suddenly getting up and walking back to his own desk, only to begin pacing there.  That has to be true, he wouldn’t have been so angry about Jane otherwise…  The others in the precinct eyed him uneasily as he suddenly stopped pacing, not really sure what was going on with their mercurial co-worker.  _Shit!  Jane._   The thought brought his mood crashing down around him.  He needed to clear things up with her before moving forward with… well… _Loki._ Okay, regardless, he had to talk to him, now!  But that was going to be difficult, since Loki was refusing to take his calls.  _One more day_ , Thor thought to himself as he picked up the envelope intended for Baker and Schmidt and started walking.  _He has one more day to ignore me.  I’ll talk to Jane in the meantime,_ he thought, not really sure how _that_ conversation was going to go, but dreading it anyway.  If he doesn’t answer me by tonight, _I’m going back to Vegas and I’m going to make him listen to me._

So intent was he on his task that he almost walked right into Captain Rogers, turning into his path on the way to the elevator.

“Sorry Thor.  Everything ok?” Steve Rogers said, reaching out to steady himself against the detective.  

“Ye-yeah,” Thor said, distractedly, as the two men walked to the elevator together.  The silence was palpable in the elevator, though.  Even though they worked well together, things had become somewhat strained after the investigation and Loki’s subsequent transfer.  Thor suspected Loki and the captain had forged a friendship, which might have contributed it.  The two rode down in awkward silence for a few moments before a thought occurred to him.  “So… Loki… He must be having a pretty rough time of it, huh?” Thor said with a casualness he didn’t feel as he looked at Captain Rogers. 

“Oh, uh… yeah…” Steve mumbled, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation.  “He’s holding his own as well as can be expected... sure he’ll get the hang of it soon.” He said as he rubbed the back of his neck, smiling fondly. “I mean, he’s only been back a couple of days, it’s gonna take a while to for the kid to get acclimated.

The elevator stopped and the doors dinged open, but Thor stood at the entrance, blocking the captain’s exit.  “Wait, Loki’s back?  He’s here?  Ian’s here?!” Thor spoke loudly, well inside Captain Rogers’ personal space.  To anyone else, that action would have sent them cowering backwards, but Captain Rogers was made of stronger stuff, and he wouldn’t be in charge if he couldn’t stare down even his toughest detectives.

“Yes, Thor, he is.” Steve said sternly, glaring back at the other man until Thor stepped back a bit.  “I thought you knew,” he said, his gaze softening as he looked Thor in the eye.  He regarded Thor, assessing his mood for a moment before speaking again, pushing Thor out as the elevator alarm sounded.  “He’s been back for a couple of days,” Steve said with an exhale, putting his hand on Thor’s shoulder upon seeing his distress.  “He got back into town Sunday, took yesterday off to settle in, came in to work today –

“Today?” Thor said suddenly, pushing the captain’s hand away, “He’s here today?”  he began moving towards the elevator again, pushing the button to bring it back.

 Captain Rogers regarded him silently, deliberating whether or not to say more.  “He’s not here.” He said quietly.  “He was only here for a couple of hours, then… the daycare called… apparently the boy got sick—“ Steve suddenly stopped mid-sentence as Thor turned abruptly from the elevator and faced him head-on. 

“Ian’s sick?” Thor said sharply, his gut twisting in fear. 

“It’s nothing serious, I think he’s got a cold or something…“ Steve said, but the rest of his words were lost as Thor quickly turned and headed towards the doors leading to the parking garage, one thought in his mind: _Ian’s sick!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are always appreciated.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8/24/15: Yay! Just added: Beautiful artwork by the very talented GoLikeThat!  
> \---  
> I know, I know, this is becoming an epic! Sorry if I'm too wordy! It just starts coming and I can't seem to stop! Anyway, thanks so much for following along! I promise there is an ending. I've already got it mapped out, we'll get there! 
> 
> In the meantime, check out the new art being created for the story! I've talked GoLikeThatCat into creating an illustration for the even-numbered chapters as well, so look out for those. I'll start posting those soon. Thanks again, and enjoy!

The waiting room television seemed to be stuck on the Weather Channel.  Loki ground his teeth in frustration as yet _another_ rain-soaked reporter stood before yet _another_ flooded parking lot… Ugh!    _Is this all this channel broadcasts?_  He thought, annoyed.  Why doesn’t someone change—oh that’s right.  Those kids had broken the remote a while ago when they were fighting over what to watch.   _At least they’ve stopped fighting,_ Loki thought ruefully as he cradled Ian in his arms, stroking his damp locks as he willed him to stay asleep.  

They’d been sitting in the emergency room waiting area for a little over an hour now, and Loki was about ready to strike someone.  He knew they’d have to wait a while, but an hour?  Come on!  He thought, panic slowly building again.  Ian was sick!  The reviewing nurse had taken a cursory look at the boy before turning a pitying look towards Loki.  “One hundred two.  It’s just a low grade fever.” She said dismissively, a small smile playing on her lips.  “A little baby Acetaminophen and some sleep and he should be f—“ 

“He’s sick, and burning up, and _throwing_ up, and crying, and shaking, and – “ Loki rambled in a panic, trying to convey his fear to the nurse, while Ian cried miserably on the exam table.  He had finally reached out and taken the boy back in his arms, rocking him trying to comfort him.

“Is this your first time taking care of your son alone?” The nurse had asked, that annoyingly condescending smile on her face again.  

“Just… When can we see a doctor?” Loki had said tightly, completely over this nurse’s attitude.  In the end, she had shown them back to the waiting area, where they still sat now.  Ian’s crying had become whimpers now, but he was still wriggling restlessly, so Loki stood and walked around the waiting room with the boy draped over his torso, his little face buried in Loki’s neck, eventually walking out to the hospital’s main lobby.   _God, I suck at this!_   He thought as he slowly wandered around, occasionally pressing kisses to the boy’s damp warm head when he stirred.  _I told them I was gonna fuck it up, and here we’re back in San Diego for less than forty eight hours, and already we’re in the emergency room!_   He thought agitated, as he gazed past the historical pictures of the hospital that littered the walls.   _How could my mother_ ( _Loki, don’t be afraid to call me mom!_   She kept saying) _really think I could do this?  I’m not a parent!  I’ve never even had a pet!  What do I know about kids?_   He thought nervously as he patted Ian’s back.  _Maybe I shouldn’t have left him in daycare so soon,_ he fretted as he remembered Ian’s face crumbling in tears as he dropped him off this morning…. _Insisting that he stay was probably a bad idea…  And I probably shouldn’t have let him have Cheetos and a baloney slice for dinner last night…_ God, he sucked at this!

As he gazed unseeing at the big glass honor wall listing the hospital patrons and donors, his mind went back to the conversation he had had with his parents the day they’d arrived in Las Vegas.  Thor had been gone for a few hours, and Loki, still agitated over their confrontation, was more than happy to share the responsibilities.  Even though he hadn’t voiced it, Loki had just assumed that Bill and Deanna would be taking Ian.  After all, they’d been great parents to him, had turned _his_ life around… Ian would thrive with them!  They could do their… parent thing… with the boy, fix whatever crap Darcy had done, and bing bang boom, Ian’s got a new life!  He winced inwardly as he remembered his mom and dad’s indulgent, somewhat sad smiles as he told them about packing up Ian’s things. 

“Sweetheart, we’re not taking Ian,” Deanna had said, placing her hand on his forearm to gain his full attention.  They had been sitting in the small kitchen table, talking after Ian had gone to bed.  Loki gaped, his mouth open as he froze, unable to process what she’d said. 

“Wh-what do you mean?  Where’s he gonna go?” Loki said, suddenly agitated. “We can’t put him in foster care.  He’s not just something to throw aside...  He’s NOT going into foster care!” he finished fiercely, glaring at both his parents angrily.

“Calm down son,” Bill said quietly, placing a hand over his other arm.  Obviously, we’re not abandoning him.  But we’ve been married thirty five years, and in that time, we’ve raised and cared for twelve kids --”

“Twelve wonderful kids that have made us so proud” Deanna interjected.

“Yes, they have,” Bill said with a smile, “And you’re one of them.  You know how much we love you, son.  And we love Ian just as much.  Even though we didn’t raise Darcy, we love that he calls us grandma and grandpa—“

“Then what’s the problem?” Loki said urgently.  You guys can work your magic one more time—“

“Loki,” Bill said, leaning back in his chair and holding his wife’s hand before continuing.  “We’ve got two teenagers at home right now, who’ll be going to college soon, then we’re done.”  He said, turning and smiling at Deanna.  “I think its about time we had time to ourselves.  Besides,” he said smiling “I don’t think we could handle an almost-four year old at our age.”

“We’ll help you in whatever you need, honey” Deanna said, moving closer to Loki to put her arms around his shoulders.  “support, advice, babysitting, you name it—“

“What?  Me?!?!” Loki said, his voice pitching impossibly high. “I can’t take him!  I’m a cop, I don’t know the first thing about babies, I can’t take care of him!” 

“He’ll be four in two weeks” Deanna said quietly. “He’s not a baby anymore, you know.”  She turned their chairs so they were fully facing each other “Sweetie, I know it seems like a lot, but the truth is, you two need each other.  You both lost a very important person in your lives, plus, he is the only blood relative you have left.  He already thinks you’re his ‘Daddy’, so that link is already there.  You’ve seemed so lost since you moved to San Diego” she said worriedly. “Having Ian with you could ground you, give your life a center…” She regarded him warily. “Whatever happens though, Darcy left Ian’s care in your hands.  You decide.  We’ll back you no matter what.”

Ian stirred and whimpered in his arms, bringing Loki back to the present.  He gazed down at the sleeping boy.  Did he feel warmer now?  He wasn’t sure.  They’d now been waiting for over an hour!  He considered checking with the nurse again, but he really didn’t feel like enduring those looks from her again, so he tried distracting himself, reading the names on that huge glass wall.  I bet these people don’t have to wait an hour to see a doctor!  He thought petulantly as he read.  He noted with a smile that Anthony Stark was among one of the top donors.  He smirked, then huffed out a mirthless laugh as he saw the name at the very top of the list, the place reserved for only the biggest donors of a million dollars or more.  Oh well, it’s not like Eric doesn’t have the money to give away, Loki thought ruefully.

“Daddy, want juice,” Ian croaked as he rubbed his face into Loki’s already damp shirt. 

“Sure, okay buddy” Loki murmured as he hurried back to the waiting room, where he’d left their supplies bag ( _not_ a diaper bag, Ian said, I’m not a baby!), and pulled out sippy cup with water.  As Ian drank, Loki looked over angrily at the admitting window, where the nurse sat, idly chatting with someone at her desk.  He gritted his teeth in frustration as he looked around, wondering how much longer they would have to wait. _Thor would have already stormed the exam room, dragged a doctor over to see Ian, demanded results._  Loki thought, then started, surprised at his own thought.  Ever since Thor had walked out of Darcy’s apartment in Las Vegas, Loki had made a concerted effort to get his former partner out of his mind, cutting off all contact with him entirely.  At first he was worried that he wouldn’t be able to do it, but he was surprised how much of his thoughts were dominated by Ian.  Thinking about him now was almost comforting.  Ian broke into his thoughts by having a coughing fit, which in turn started him crying again.  _Right, okay.  Time for some results_ , Loki thought as he pulled out his cell phone and started dialing.  _To hell with my feelings, this is about Ian,_ he thought fiercely as he dialed his phone.

. o O o .

For the second time in as many weeks, Thor found himself rushing towards Loki at a hospital.  As he drove into the parking lot of Children’s hospital, he concentrated on keeping his breathing steady, keeping his nervousness at bay.  He was worried about Ian, but he was also nervous about seeing Loki again after his whole ‘I love him’ realization. 

Thor had driven to Loki’s, thinking he’d find them there, but instead he found a woman (Becky, she told him) from Ian’s daycare, standing uncertainly at the top of the steps to Loki’s basement apartment. 

“I just spoke to Mr. Loki.  He’s at Children’s Hospital.”  She said, ringing her hands unconsciously.  “I didn’t think it was that serious, just a little bug,” she continued “Ian must have gotten much worse for his father to take him to urgent care…”

Thanking her for the information, Thor got back in his car, while Becky called out to him “Please give them my best!  Let him know I’m thinking of them!”

Thor was seized with nervousness as he headed to the elevators that led to the ground floor.  He fidgeted as he rode down, worried about what he was going to say to Loki… worried Loki would even _talk_ to him!  So intent was he on his goal, that he almost didn’t notice Loki exiting the elevator next to his, nearly bowling him over as they both headed for the urgent care doors.

“L—Loki!” Thor exclaimed, stumbling as he reached out and grasped the man’s upper arms to steady him.  “I—w--what—is--is Ian ok?”  Loki stopped in his tracks suddenly, his face the perfect image of surprise as he regarded his former partner.  He looked a bit frazzled, a slight darkness colored under his eyes, and his hair was in some disarray, as if he’d been constantly running his fingers through it.  In other words, he looked glorious.  Thor could barely breathe as he stumbled over his words, his heart hammering in his chest as _I love you I love you I love you_ kept running in an infinite loop through his mind. 

“Ian’s fine,” Loki said slowly, regarding Thor warily.  _Okay, I think my mind’s finally snapped,_ _he thought a bit hysterically.  It’s snapped, and I’m hallucinating.  I’m hallucinating… Thor?  What the…_ “Thor, what are you doing here?” He finally said, extricating himself from the grip.

“I heard Ian was sick.” Thor said, clearing his throat and dropping his hands to his sides, suddenly not sure what to do with his hands.  Loki wordlessly arched an eyebrow, clearly wanting more information than that.  “The captain mentioned that you were back… and that you had Ian… and that he was sick… “His voice trailed off as he gazed into Loki’s eyes, suddenly seized with the very strong urge to embrace and kiss him.  Focus! He thought, looking away.  “So, Ian’s ok?”  He said again, trying to center himself.  He couldn’t remember ever being this nervous!  He couldn’t even look at Loki for too long without the danger of hyperventilating.

Hearing Thor’s question, Loki suddenly remembered where he was headed before being sidetracked. “Yes, yes he is.  Better than fine, actually.” He said turning on his heel and hurrying towards the urgent care entrance.  “I should have been back by now, just ran to the car to get Bert” he said raising his hand and shaking Ian’s old, worn sock monkey in his hand.  Thor recognized the well-loved toy and his heart clenched with a pang that had nothing to do with Loki as he remembered his day playing with the little boy.

“What was wrong with him?” Thor asked, easily keeping up with Loki’s long strides. 

“Well, apparently, not much,” Loki said, huffing out a laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.  “He had a little fever, nothing to worry about, but… I’d never seen him sick before and… no one was paying much attention… or taking me seriously, so… I freaked… apparently, I overreacted.” He said with a smile, “But now he’s being very well taken care of.  It’s like night and day…” They had reached the building doors, and as he reached out to grasp the handle, Thor’s hand gripped his wrist, stopping his words as well as his progress.

“Wait, wait a second,” Thor said urgently, pulling Loki slightly away from the door, “Can I talk to you for a second?  Ian’s in good hands for now, right?” he asked, pulling him even further away from the doors.

“I have to get back in—“ Loki started before Thor interrupted.

“There’s something I need to say” Thor said quickly, gulping in a breath, then slowly releasing it, steadying himself.  “It’s a good thing, I promise.” He said with a smile.

“What do you want Thor?” Loki said, eyes narrowed in suspicion as Thor clutched both hands in his, Bert and all.

“The thing is, Loki,” Thor said hesitantly, his nervousness ratcheting up greatly, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and…” He took a deep breath and fixed his gaze on Loki “I love you.”

For a moment neither man said a word.  Thor smiled widely as he gazed at Loki in anticipation, expecting some sort of happy reaction to his declaration, even going as far as lifting and extending his arms in anticipation of an embrace.  As the moment dragged on, though, Thor's smile slipped as he noticed that Loki's already suspicious expression was becoming very decidedly... _angry_.  His narrowed eyes and furrowed brow seemed to deepen and his skin became flushed, looking every inch like someone who was about to explode.  Thor’s arms came down as he eyed the eerily still brunet. “Loki?” He said tentatively, taking a small step forward “did you hear what I –“

It was as if Thor moving towards him seemed to galvanize Loki. “Yes, of course I heard you, Thor!” Loki hissed, quickly stepping forward and getting in Thor’s personal space. “And just what the hell do you want me to say to that, huh?” He said bitingly, glaring at the other man.  “what, am I – am I supposed to collapse into your arms now?” he gestured with his hands as he spoke, Bert flying around with every movement. “Cling to you and say that I feel the same?” Loki was breathing heavily now, his face inches from Thor’s, but there was no love or tenderness there, just fire and anger, out and completely exposed for Thor to see.

Whatever reaction Thor thought he might see from Loki, he had never imagined this!  His heart hammered in his chest with fear and there was a lump in his throat as Loki’s words sunk in.  _No!_ his mind yelled as he felt his love slipping away.  His hands came up suddenly to hold Loki in place, pull him closer to him, but the other man jerked away roughly, shoving Thor’s chest, giving him more distance.  As Loki’s back hit the building wall, he seemed to lose his fire as the anger drained out of him.  He leaned his head back, closing his eyes, as he worked to catch his breath, still tightly clutching the child’s toy in his grip.

“I – I didn’t mean to upset you, Loki” Thor said, eyes downcast, not wanting to see the anger in Loki’s eyes. “But I meant what I said.” He looked up and faced his old partner head-on, taking a step towards him “And I know you love me too.  I _know_ you do” Thor halted his movements as Loki let out a sudden laugh.

“You’re unbelievable!”  Loki said between laughs, “I ask again: What did you think would happen?  That we’d live happily ever after?” He began pacing as he continued with his rant, not looking at Thor “I’ve got a _child_ that I’m responsible for now! He depends on me! I’ve got to stop fucking around, and I don’t have time for this… whatever this was… it doesn’t matter –“

“Of course it matters!” Thor says suddenly, right up against Loki again. “ _We_ matter!”

Both men suddenly turned as a third voice joined them.  “Loki, is there a problem?  Can I be of some assistance?”  Eric Laufeyson stood just outside the urgent care doors, hands behind his back, a small solicitous smile on his face, regarding both men mildly.  His posture and words were casual, but the flinty stare he pinned on Thor set the detective instantly on edge.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Thor said harshly, turning to face Eric, subconsciously placing himself between the two men, in a protective position over Loki.

“I called him,” Loki said matter-of-factly, walking around Thor towards Eric.  “Is he okay?  Did they finish the tests?” he asked the older man anxiously.

“He’s just fine,” Eric said soothingly, stroking Loki’s arm as he spoke, a move that made Thor’s teeth grind in anger. “He’s sleeping now.  He’s exhausted.  As are you, I’m sure.  I worried when you didn’t come back.”

“I’m fine,” Loki said, smiling at the older man.  He turned to look at Thor as he spoke to Eric again “Could you take this to him?” he said, handing Eric the stuffed monkey.  “I’d hate for him to wake up alone.  I’ll be in in a second” Eric’s expression remained passive as he nodded and _finally_ dropped his hand from Loki’s arm before turning and walking back in.

There were a million things Thor wanted to say, but his mind had all but short-circuited at this development.  “You – you called Eric?” Thor finally said, staring ahead dumbly.  “Why?”

“Eric has a lot of connections.” Loki said with a shrug. “Ian was being ignored, at least that’s what I felt at the moment… I may have overreacted a bit…” he smiled self-deprecatingly at that “But you should have seen the change in the staff when Eric showed up!  Everyone suddenly became so solicitous, you’d have thought Ian was a crown prince or something.”

The beautiful, indulgent smile that graced Loki’s face as he thought of Ian clutched at Thor’s heart, and he reeled a bit at his own reaction.  It was like now that he was aware of his love for Loki, every action and movement that Loki made affected him directly.  “Loki, we need to talk…” Thor started, wanting to stop Loki as the other man turned to go, but the words died on his lips as his phone buzzed in his pocket, signaling a new text message.  Loki turned to look at him, his hand already on the door’s handle. 

“We’ve both got other responsibilities.”  Loki stated flatly, tilting his head up, gesturing at Thor’s pocket with his chin. “That’s yours.  Go home Thor.”  And then he was gone, back into the hospital, while Thor stood, staring at the door until his phone’s insistent buzzing shook him out of his reverie.  He walked back in the elevator and headed back to his car.  As he walked, he dialed his phone, and entered his car as the call was answered.

“Hey! I just sent you a text – “ Jane said happily before Thor cut her off.

“Is it okay if I come over right now?” Thor said quietly, knowing they needed to have this difficult conversation sooner rather than later.  “I’d really like to talk to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, I know it's two days late, but I hope it's worth the wait! More angsty times, but The next chapter will have some long awaited smut (yay!) I plan to post the next chapter in the next hour or so as well, so keep checking! Thanks for following!

“Jane, I can’t marry you.” Thor had said, sitting in Jane’s living room facing her.  He had been greeted at the door by a smiling, bubbly Jane, who hugged him and immediately begun chatting a mile a minute.  Before she could get up a full head of steam though, Thor had stopped her mid-sentence.  “I know that’s what you’ve been expecting, and I should have said something sooner, but I was kidding myself, thinking we could make it work… it’s not gonna happen.” He had been sitting ramrod straight, but now visibly sagged in relief, having gotten the words out.  

For her part, Jane’s expression betrayed nothing.  She sat stock still, looking at Thor with a small smile glued to her lips.  “You’re overworked” she finally said, emitting a small laugh.  Her hands fluttered nervously about as she continued “You’ve been spending too much time at work – “ 

“No, Jane” Thor said reaching out and grasping both her hands and bringing them down to her lap, forcing her attention “I should have told you this a long time ago, but I’ve been a coward… on so many different levels…” He pinned his gaze on her, willing her to understand “I’m not.  In Love.  With you.” He enunciated slowly, wanting to give the words weight.  He tensed, waiting for her reaction, and was completely surprised when she burst out laughing.

_OhGodOhGod!_ Jane thought wildly.  _It’s actually happening!_   Even though she had known Thor didn’t feel the same for her any more, and that something had happened between him and Loki, she’d never thought Thor would actually break up with her.  After all, they were the same, he and her.  They came from similar backgrounds, similar upbringings… they just didn’t… _do_ … this!  They didn’t turn their backs on tradition!  The idea struck her as ludicrous!

 “Well, this is perfect!” Jane said, standing abruptly, as she continued to laugh “This is soooo fucking perfect!  You waltz in here, and in one fell swoop turn our lives upside –down!  Did you take other people into consideration before making this outlandish decision?” she yelled, rounding on him as he watched her warily from his position on the couch. 

“I know this sounds like a cliché, but I swear, I never meant to hurt you,” Thor said, standing up to face Jane head-on.

“Oh no, of course not!” Jane said sarcastically “I’m sure my feelings were taken into consideration while you and that fag – ”

“Hey!” Thor said, cutting her off as he stood as well. “I know you’re angry, but watch your mouth.” He ground out through clenched teeth.  He tried to keep his anger in check, knowing this was a blow to Jane, but his protective instincts surfaced when Loki was attacked.

“Are you telling me Loki _doesn’t_ have anything to do with this??” she said quietly, suddenly seeming tired.

Thor’s mouth gaped as he stood stock still. _Loki… How does Jane know about Loki?  What does she know?  How much does he know?_   “This -- this isn’t about Loki,” Thor said, choosing to ignore Jane’s question, shaking his head, “It’s about you and me.”  He gazed at Jane earnestly, willing her to abandon her line of questioning, but he was out of Luck.  She stood before him and returned his stare, regarding him with a mixture of surprise, disbelief and… amusement?

“This isn’t about Loki.” Jane deadpanned, finally speaking.  “Really.”

The room wasn’t hot, yet suddenly Thor was burning up, his throat very dry as he tried to tamp down his panic.  “Why are you even bring – “

“I _saw_ you Thor!” Jane shouted suddenly, all pretense of calm gone.  I saw you and Loki… together…” she gestured wildly as she spoke, trying to finish her sentence. “…kissing!”

“What – that – that was – where did – ” Thor stuttered, before he abruptly stopped his rambling, taking a deep breath to try and center himself.  He rubbed his hands over his face and took another deep breath.  “Whatever happened between – between me and – and L-loki,” he said hesitantly “it has nothing to do with us.”

“Oh, please!” Jane snorted, laughing derisively.  “I’m not _blind_ , Thor!”  She closed her eyes as she paced back and forth before him. “I didn’t want to see it, but it was all there!  The missed dates, the phone calls, the – the – distance!” she said, curling herself into a nearby chair, holding her face into her hands.  Thor dropped on one knee before Jane and instinctively reached out to touch her, but changed his mind at the last minute, dropping his hands to his sides.

“Jane, I promise you, you won’t go through this alone.  The baby.  I’ll be there every step of the way – “

Even though he hadn’t touched her, Jane had flinched away from him, jerking back and standing abruptly. “ _What_ baby, Thor?”  She sneered.  “There _is_ no baby!” she got a grim satisfaction out of seeing the different emotions play on Thor’s face, from confusion, to disbelief, to shock.  Then immediately regretted her vindictiveness upon seeing pain settle across Thor’s features.  She knew she was hurting him, but couldn’t seem to stop herself.  Her betrayal was still so raw.

The sudden silence in the room was palpable.  Thor was silent, regarding Jane with wide surprised eyes.  He slowly got up and dropped in the chair Jane had just vacated.  “You – you made it up… made me belie – no – no, you didn’t _make_ me _do_ anything… I fell for it.” Thor said, mostly to himself.

“We were so perfect together.  Perfect for each other.” Jane said quietly, sagging back into the wall a little bit.  “I could see you growing distant, and I needed to do something… something to… _remind_ you of what we had!”  Suddenly, an image of Loki and Thor passionately kissing ran through her mind, and she pushed away from the wall suddenly, as if stung.  “Apparently, I was wrong.” She said, suddenly bitter.  “I guess you’re not the only one who’s been lying in this relationship!” She snapped, her words clipped, as she crossed her arms over her chest (which also helped hide her shaking).  She saw Thor flinch at her words as she stood straight.  Her stance was defiant, but still she eyed Thor warily, not knowing what his reaction would be.  Even though she was still angry, her heart broke a little as she regarded his expression, wanting to reach out and hug him.  She had feared his anger, but now, he just looked so _… sad_.  For a second, Jane was tempted to reach out to him, until she saw a flash of his expression changing suddenly, to one of relief.  Instantly, she snapped back to reality.  _Right_ , she thought.  _This is over.  Must do damage control_.  “I’m going to leave town for a while.  Stay with my sister in Seattle.” Jane said, suddenly moving, picking up the glasses and snacks she had set out earlier, when she knew Thor was coming over. 

For a moment, Thor watched her silently, as he pondered his thoughts.  He thought he should be feeling angry, or sad, but he found that he was mostly numb.  And shocked!  All this time, he had been thinking unilaterally, how the situation affected him, how it was changing his life.  Now he realized he hadn’t really thought of Jane, or what she was feeling.  He knew what she did was wrong, but he couldn’t leave things like this.  As Jane exited the room, Thor stood and followed her into the kitchen, needing to finish their conversation.  Their conversation finally ran itself out after many hours, and, while things weren’t exactly _good_ for between them (Thor doubted they ever would be again!) the two had reached a tenuous understanding. In between yelling, whispering and tears (by both) they had each said their peace to one another.  As Thor walked out to his car in the early pre-dawn hours, exhausted and wrung out, he reflected that at least this was done, and he hoped he could put this relationship behind him.

. o O o .

As the words on the papers before Thor began to blur and blend together, he squeezed his eyes shut in defeat.  _Okay, I've officially been working too long._   He said to himself as he sat back in his chair, rubbing his eyes sleepily.  He looked up at the ancient wall clock hanging at the far wall of the precinct.  10:00. _Huh.  I guess it's time to go home,_ he said to himself as he glanced around.  The usual bustle of activity that the precinct saw during the day was muted considerably now, as only a few detectives remained, trying to finish work.  He reached down and gathered the sheets of paper together, putting his files back in order and back in the file cabinets, save for one.  The detectives in charge were getting ready to close the books on the Towers case, but he still wasn’t completely satisfied with how things had wrapped up, so he had asked forensics to keep digging on a couple of items, and Dr. Reed had just sent him more info… (It wasn’t difficult to keep Reed involved.  The man was a sucker for a good mystery) apparently, the wool fibers came from a very specific region in… Estonia?  Thor shook his head, feeling a bit muddled.  He grabbed the file off his desk stuffed it in his backpack, resolving to review it more fully later, as he reluctantly prepared to leave. 

Lately, Thor had been spending more time at the precinct than at home, burying himself in work, distracting himself with the details of his various cases.  Anything to keep him from thinking about the fucked up mess that was his life!  As he shut the file cabinet by his desk, putting the last of his files away, he finally gave in to his thoughts and sagged back on his chair, rubbing his face tiredly as he allowed his mind to be filled with memories of the past few days.  Jane.  Jane!  It had been a couple of days since they’d talked… a couple of days since he had been braced to break her heart and instead got the shock of his life!  For a moment, guilt niggled at him as he thought about what had happened, how his behavior had affected her, until he remembered Jane’s efficient damage control.  “Yeah, she’ll be fine” Thor said, huffing out a laugh.  She had left town to be with her sister, but not before calling certain friends and co-workers and feeding them a story about how she had been mistaken about her condition.  _‘Hysterical Pregnancy’_ she had called it.  She would take some time to regroup, she had told them.  Consider her options.  _The girl certainly has a knack for landing on her feet,_ Thor thought as he shook his head, smiling. 

Thor wasn’t complaining, though.  Not having Jane around left him free to think about what he was going to do about Loki.  God, he missed Loki!  He hadn’t seen him in a couple of days; not working on the same floor of the precinct made it difficult to orchestrate a ‘chance’ meeting, and Thor was getting a little desperate just to catch a glimpse of the man.  There were so many things that needed to be said, so much that needed to be resolved, but whenever Thor started thinking about Loki, resolved to go talk to him, words seemed to escape him, his thoughts reduced to just feelings of love and affection for his former partner.  _I am such a fucking sap,_ he thought to himself, shaking out of his reverie, deciding to get out of there.  He tiredly lifted himself out of his chair, walking towards the elevator that would lead him to the parking garage. 

As he rode down, he considered what the consequences would be if he drove over to Loki’s right now and demanded he talk to him.  At 10:30.  PM.  Okay, maybe that wouldn’t be the best idea.  For one thing, it would scare the hell out of Ian, and he didn’t want to cause the kid any distress.  Thor sighed heavily as he accepted that he would have to wait at least until tomorrow before going over there.  As the elevator doors opened, his thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a familiar face.

“Hey man!” Clint exclaimed, stopping in front of Thor in surprise “What the fuck are you still doing around here?” He said, clamping his hand on the blond’s shoulder and bringing him into a half-hug, slapping his back a couple of times.

“Clint!” Thor said delightedly, reaching out before he could help himself and hugging the man.  “It’s good to see you!”  Clint returned the hug hesitantly, not quite sure why Thor was so happy to see him. 

“H – hey, what – you ok?” Clint asked worriedly as he pulled back from his friend.

“Yes!  I am now.  I’ve missed you, man.  Feels like I haven’t seen you in ages!” Thor said, grinning stupidly.  Since the investigation, Thor had only seen Clint a couple of times, and even then it was only for a few minutes, waving hello from across the precinct.  As he smiled at him now, he realized how much he’d missed his old friend and their easy companionship.  “What are _you_ still doing here?” he wondered out loud, suddenly remembering the late hour.

“Ugh!  Fucking stake-out!” Clint groaned, rubbing his neck tiredly.  “Nat n’ I were stuck in a car for twenty hours watching the back of a goddamned hardware store downtown waiting for that asshole O’brien to slip up.  Dude, Nat’s mood after hour twelve…”  He shuddered overdramatically before continuing “NOT pretty!” He said laughing.  “Worth it though.  We got the bastard.  Just got done processing him.”  He leveled his gaze on Thor for a moment, really focusing on the other man.  “Really, though.  What are you doing here?  Everything ok?  How’s Jane?” He asked expectantly. 

“How tired are you?” Thor asked half-jokingly.  “Do you want to grab a beer?” 

“Hey, never say no to a beer!  Long as you’re buying… ” Clint responded, patting Thor’s back.  He was smiling at his friend, but inside he was concerned at Thor’s demeanor.  As they walked towards their cars, Clint resolved to get to the bottom of his friend’s troubles.

. o O o .

Clint and Thor decided to meet at their favorite sports bar.  They sat next to each other at the corner, nursing their beers as Thor spilled his story to an unusually silent Clint.  For a half hour, Thor told him everything, from Jane’s hysterical pregnancy (he didn’t see any reason to tell Clint the truth about that… maybe someday, but not now), to Darcy and Ian, ending with his declaration of Love to Loki.  By the time Thor finished, Clint was at a loss for words.  “Well… shit.” Clint finally said, taking a swig of his pint and slumping down on his stool.  He had wanted to help Thor with his problems, but Thor had thrown him a serious curveball! 

During their conversation in the hospital, the day Clint was shot, Thor had adamantly stated that this thing with Loki was nothing more than a passing phase.  ‘It’s done, Clint’ Thor had said with finality, and he had sounded so certain, that Clint had taken him at his word.  Then a couple of weeks ago, with Thor and Jane’s wedding announcement… _and_ a baby… well, Clint thought everything was back to normal!  Sure, whenever he’d caught a glimpse of Thor in the precinct during these past couple of weeks, he’d had the look of a deer caught in the headlights, _but_ _isn’t that how all poor bastards look when they’ve been hooked?_   Clint asked himself.  Even as he thought this though, He couldn’t deny that he had noticed Thor’s dejected look as he spoke of ending things with Loki.  That same look that he saw on his friend’s face now. 

“Say something.” Thor said with a low chuckle, taking a slow drink from his beer as he stared straight ahead at the wide array of liquor bottles behind the bar. “Anything.  Yell… shout… I don’t know… fuckin’ hit me if that’s what you want.”  There was a small smile on his lips as Thor tried for levity, but he still didn’t turn to look at Clint, and his knuckles were white as he gripped his glass dangerously tight.

“Hell no!” Clint finally said with a laugh.  “You’re about half a foot taller and outweigh me by about fifty pounds!  I throw a punch and you mop the floor with me.” He grinned widely as Thor turned to look at him “I haven’t got a damned death wish!” 

The two men shared a laugh for a moment as relief washed over Thor.  Despite everything, their friendship was still intact.  Clint was still here.

“So… you’re – you’re gay, huh?” Clint said hesitantly, after they’d settled in companionable silence. 

“I don’t know…” Thor said quietly, rolling his glass between his palms.  “Before Loki… I’d never even considered – anything like this!  No other men… but the way I feel about him…” Clint was surprised and a bit uncomfortable as he watched Thor inclining his head a bit as a small smile ghosted across his lips.  “I’ve never felt like that about anyone before…” his words trailed off as he stared straight ahead, lost in his thoughts.

“Oookay!” Clint said loudly, breaking into his thoughts. “I think I’ve reached my schmaltz limit for the day!”  He said with a forced laugh.  He would never admit it to Thor, but seeing him like this, getting all sappy over a guy… it made him uncomfortable.  “So… now what?  Are you and Loki together now?”  He asked hesitantly.

“Well, yes… I – we – if he’ll have me…” Thor said slowly, uncertainly.  Now that he’d been honest about his feelings for Loki to another person, he wasn’t sure how to proceed.  Thor knew that douchebag Eric was trying to use his advantage to get near Loki, but Thor knew Loki loved him too.  They just needed to get past their anger…

“Wow.” Clint said, whistling out a low note.  “You’re a braver man than I.”  He finished quietly.  When Thor looked at him with a questioning look, Clint decided to elaborate.  “I just mean that… are you really ready to be… out.” he winced slightly as he said the word, conscious that he was using it for Thor! “It’s like you said!” Clint said quickly, sensing Thor getting upset “This had never happened before… as long as I’ve known you, you’ve only had an eye for the ladies… a LOT of ladies, if I recall… and now you’re talking about, what? De _clar_ ing yourself to this guy?  Then what?  You’ll live together as a couple?  And be a couple at work?” He stopped talking as Thor suddenly flinched as if pinched, his face registering surprise.  _Oh_ _!  I guess happily ever after really wasn’t thought through,_ Clint thought, before continuing.  “You and I’ve been friends since our academy days.  We’ve been living in this world a long time.  You know what those guys are like.  I’m not saying it’s right!” Clint rushed as Thor opened his mouth, about to say something “I know this homophobic shit is fucked up, but are you ready to take it on?  Become a… a _spokesperson_ or something?  Because that’s what’ll happen.  You’ll both be thrown into a spotlight you’ve never had on you.”

”I’m not necessarily worried about Loki” Clint said with a small shrug as he took a drink of his beer. “It seems like that guy’s been out since birth!” he said with a chuckle.  “But you…” he turned until he was fully facing Thor.  “Are you ready for it?”  Thor held his gaze for a moment, then looked away, a frown on his face. “Just – think it through first, big guy.  That’s all I’m sayin’.” Clint said finally, patting his friend on the shoulder and downing the last of his beer.  He slipped off his stool and stretched tiredly, groaning as his back popped and cracked loudly.  “I gotta go.  I need a shower.  And sleep!  You’re paying, by the way.” he said with a yawn, moving to go. “That’s the rule: whoever drops the bombshell pays for the beer.”

“Hey,” Thor said, stopping Clint’s progress with a hand on his forearm. “Thanks, man.  For listening.  Really.  It means a lot.”  He smiled at the man warmly, grateful for his friendship.

“Just think about what I said,” Clint said quietly.  “Whatever you decide, whatever happens, I’m here for you, ok?” he finished, patting Thor’s arm.  Suddenly he did a full-body shudder, as if shaking something off.  “I’d better go, all this feelings talk… I think I’m having a reaction!” he winked before turning and walking out, leaving Thor chuckling to himself.  As he settled up with the bartender, before turning to go, he admitted to himself that he still had a lot to think about before talking to Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated! Thanks


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8/24/15: Yay! Just added: Beautiful artwork by the very talented GoLikeThat! Enjoy  
> \---  
> What's this? TWO new chapters in one day? I know, I know: I got a little wordy again. Hope no one's getting bored yet! Blame GoLikeThat! He keeps encouraging me! 
> 
> Aw man! When will Thor and Loki get their act together? Let's hope soon!

Even though he’d lived in San Diego for over fifteen years, Thor didn’t know this part of town very well.  As he drove down the narrow streets of the area, past the older houses and buildings, he wondered why Loki had chosen this neighborhood to settle in.  The area was... quirky at best.  Its residents were a mix of senior citizens, artists, hipsters, and a hodge-podge of colorful characters.  The crime rate had come down considerably compared to what it was a few years ago.  Still, Thor’s cop side was always on alert when he came through here.

As he slowed to let a young kid retrieve a ball that had rolled onto the street, Thor tried to tamp the anxiety he was feeling.  He hadn’t slept well, last night’s conversation running through his mind all night.  Much as he hated to admit it, though, Clint was right.  Thor didn’t _want_ his private life to be the topic of conversation and he wasn’t sure that he was ready to… to… _come out_ to everyone either!  As the sun came up that morning, Thor also admitted to himself that, whatever else, he didn’t want to give up Loki.  He suddenly decided that they needed to talk this out _now_ , this morning.  _So what if it’s Saturday?_   Thor thought to himself as he turned into Loki’s street.  _He’ll want to talk too, right?  He must miss me as much as – what the…?_ Thor’s thoughts stuttered to a halt as he pulled up across the street from Loki’s place.  He would have parked in front, but there was a _moving truck_ already there!  Thor parked his car and ran across the street towards Loki’s door, passing a small group of moving men, carrying and loading furniture (Loki’s furniture!) into the truck,  coming face to face with the man himself, as he came up the stairs carrying a large box, looking tired and disheveled. 

“Loki, what’s going on?” Thor said, taking the box from the startled man’s arms and stopping his progress. 

For a moment, Loki was speechless _.  How does this guy know to show up at the most inopportune moments?_  He thought, exasperated as he caught his breath.  _Where to start?_   He thought before just going forward.  “It’s moving day.” He said dismissively, climbing the last remaining steps and walking past Thor, taking his box as he passed.  Thor immediately turned and followed, undeterred.

“You’re moving?” Thor said, reaching the truck right behind Loki.  “Where?  Where’re you going?  I had no idea…” his words trailed as he followed Loki back into the apartment.  He stepped inside and looked around as Loki directed the movers.  The living room was filled with boxes, all stacked along the bare walls, next to the couch and two end tables.  From the looks of it, this whole move was a done deal.  “Where’s Ian?” Thor asked suddenly, looking around the space for the boy.

“He’s in the park.  With the nanny.” Loki said absently, as he directed the movers towards another room. 

“The… Nanny?”  Thor asked, confused.  “He’s got a _nanny_?” and because he suddenly remembered he hadn’t asked, “So you’re keeping him?  Permanently?  Not your parents?”  Loki stopped what he was saying to the movers and turned to look at Thor, frowning slightly.

“He’s mine.”  He said simply.  “It’s what Darcy wanted.” A small smile played on his lips and his look softened as he said “And it’s what I want.”  Thor regarded his old partner for a moment, marveling at the look that passed over his face.  He looked so… content when he spoke of Ian, like this was exactly what he wanted.  Thor’s heart seemed to expand as he realized with complete certainty that Loki would be a great father.  He would be the best thing that happened to Ian, and the two wound support each other.  As he watched Loki resume his conversation with the movers, Thor realized that he wanted to be included in that mix in some way.  It was perfect!  He was crazy about Ian…

  “We’re about ready with this first load, Mr. Loki.” One of the movers said, drawing Thor’s attention.  “We can go whenever you’re ready.”

“Thanks, Mike.” Loki said with a smile. “You go ahead.  I’ll just wait here.” He said, glancing at Thor as he spoke. 

The movers looked at each other uneasily before Mike turned back and spoke to Loki. “Um, well… Mr. Laufeyson gave us very specific instructions.  You’re supposed to ok every aspect of the move… He was very specific…”

“It’s okay,” Loki said with a sigh, shaking his head as he closed his eyes “I’m – authorizing… ok’ing… whatever.  Just take that first load.  I’ll be here when you come back.” 

The movers excused themselves, and walked out, Loki following to close the door behind them.  He stood there for a beat, took a deep breath, then turned to Thor, crossing his arms over his chest, lifting his chin defiantly.  “As you can see, Thor, I’m pretty busy.  Maybe when I have a little more time – “

At the mention of Laufeyson’s name, Thor had become enraged so quickly, his vision had slightly blurred.  He was struck speechless for a moment, suddenly finding his voice after Loki spoke.  “YOU’RE MOVING IN WITH HIM!?!?” he shouted, moving right in front of Loki, not caring how crazed he sounded. 

“No! Of course not!” Loki said indignantly, but his gaze shifted sideways, as if he didn’t want to meet Thor’s eyes.  “I’m moving into one of his properties… he’s not using it and… it’s just sitting there, vacant…” _God, even to my ears that sounds bad!_  Loki told himself as he fidgeted, nervous.  He finally looked up at Thor, his gaze defiant once more “Look around, Thor!  I can’t raise Ian here!” he said, gesturing around the dark apartment.  “This was okay for me, but it’s no place for a child.” He said softly, slumping his shoulders a fraction, before standing up straight again.  “Eric was kind enough to offer us a little house in Mission Hills, on a great street, with a yard, and at the same price that I pay here – “

“Oh for fuck’s sake Loki!  Open your eyes!” Thor shouted once again, feeling completely frustrated.  “You _really_ think that asshole’s just being _nice_?  That he doesn’t have _any_ ulterior motives?”

“Not everyone thinks like you do,” Loki said coldly, turning to walk away, only to be stopped by Thor’s hands, gripping his upper arms and pulling him in.

“Can’t you see?” Thor sneered “He _wants_ you!  He thinks he can _buy_ you, and he’s using Ian because he sees it’s your weakness – “

 _And there it is._   Loki thought, rage building inside him.  _This is how he sees me.  The little nelly fag needs to be protected because he can’t take care of himself!_   With a swift, powerful movement that surprised Thor, Loki jerked his arms out roughly, disengaging Thor’s hands from him.  “I am so sick-and-fucking-tired of you thinking I’m weak!” Loki shouted, shoving Thor hard in the chest, making the larger man stumble backwards.  Thor quickly righted himself, getting right back up in front of Loki, until their faces were mere inches apart.

“I didn’t say – I didn’t call you – I don’t think you’re weak!” Thor ground out through his teeth, feeling a thrill of arousal even through his anger.  The room suddenly felt electrically charged as his eyes focused on Loki’s gaze.  All the times they’d been together, had sex, made love… or, hell, just plain _fucked_ , Loki had never been aggressive.  Oh, he was always an active and enthusiastic participant (very enthusiastic!) but, never so… forceful!    Loki’s breath was coming shallowly, his face was flushed and he looked _pissed!_   Thor’s cock twitched as he clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides in anticipation, wondering what Loki would do.

The pounding of Loki’s heart was so strong, he could feel it in his temples.  Thor had come up close, effectively pinning Loki’s back against the door with his body.  Even Though they weren’t touching, he could feel Thor’s heat all over.  It was a move that was both arousing and very familiar.  They’d done this dance before.  Thor would push… pin him down… take him… and Loki would go all too willingly.  _Oh Really?!?!_   Loki thought indignantly, as he glared back at Thor, and suddenly, he felt an overwhelming surge of emotions, rage and lust combined in a powerful mixture within him.   

Without a coherent thought, he suddenly grabbed Thor roughly by his shirt with both hands and quickly turned them around, switching their positions as he shoved the larger man up against the door.  Thor had a second to register what was happening before Loki was devouring his mouth with a searing, possessive kiss.  He bit at Thor’s bottom lip before thrusting his tongue, exploring and possessing, taking what was his.  Thor emitted a low groan, helpless for a moment before actively participating, carding his fingers through Loki’s hair with one hand, while the other ardently explored the body that he knew and had missed so much! 

As Loki’s mouth traveled over Thor’s neck, sucking and biting as he went, he yanked at Thor’s shirt, not caring if he ruined the garment.  He impatiently rucked the shirt up under Thor’s chin and brought his mouth down on Thor’s chest, biting and licking at one of his nipples, making the man shout in surprise.  Loki smirked into his chest as his deft fingers quickly undid Thor’s Jeans and shoved them and his boxers down until he freed the man’s hard cock. 

Whatever thoughts Thor had had in his head quickly dissipated as Loki’s hand began to roughly stroke him, while his mouth continued its abuse, moving from his chest to his neck and lips.  Thor quickly pulled off his shirt, then pulled at Loki’s clothes, in between hungry kissing and groping, wanting nothing more than to have this man naked!  Now!  

As they attacked each other, their tongues doing battle, Thor’s arms reached around Loki, trying to pick the man up and carry him to the couch.   _Oh, no! You’re not in charge this time_ , Loki thought, quickly biting down hard on Thor’s lip, drawing blood, before roughly shoving the larger man backwards.  Thor toppled to the ground gracelessly, legs tangled in his pants and underwear.  Without missing a beat, Loki quickly stripped out of his clothes and lunged at Thor, covering the other man with his body, bracketing the larger man’s hips with his thighs, even as he divested Thor of his pants.  The two men groaned loudly as their erections met, causing an exquisite friction that nearly ended them both there and then.  Thor reached down and took Loki in his hand, stroking his partner’s hard flesh, rubbing his thumb over the slit and spreading the moisture there, a smug satisfaction at knowing he had this effect on his love.  He moved his hand in long strokes, lingering over the head and twisting his hand, doing everything he knew drove Loki wild.  Before long, though, this wasn’t enough for Thor and he attempted to pull Loki off, wanting more.  Loki resisted, shoving him down roughly.

 “L-Loki… please… let me… I want to taste you…” Thor panted, opening his eyes (and when the hell had he closed his eyes?!?) to look at Loki imploringly.  Loki’s face was a mask of ecstasy, his eyes half closed, mouth slightly open as his breath came out in small pants.  It was then that Thor noticed that Loki’s arm was stretched behind him and brain short-circuited as he realized that Loki was fingering himself, preparing himself for him.

“Wait!” Loki hissed, “just – just…” He leaned down and kissed Thor deeply as he lifted his hips and reached down, gripping Thor’s cock.  “Fuck me, Thor” he said, panting heavily, his hips thrusting back and forth, causing a friction between them, making Thor’s vision white out.

“I – we don’t – we don’t have – anything to use for…” Thor mumbled.  Loki looked down and grinned at him with a wicked gleam in his eye before slithering down and taking Thor’s cock fully in his mouth in one fluid motion, making the larger man gasp and become completely silent, his mouth open in shock.  Loki deftly sucked and licked the hard member, focused on his task.  He had missed this, wanted to linger and relish the act of having Thor in his mouth, slowly driving him wild, but now was not the time.  The larger man writhed below him and trembled with the strain of not thrusting his hips up and choking Loki.  He wanted to make this last, but Loki’s mouth enveloped him and he very nearly exploded!  He maintained his control, even as Loki pulled off him with a wet, sucking pop. 

“I think this should do”  Loki hummed, giving a few more long licks that made Thor screw his eyes shut and throw his head back, fighting for control.  Thor heard Loki chuckle quietly before feeling him crawl back up his body, then his brain shorted out as the unmistakable feeling of being enveloped in Loki’s tight heat overtook him.  Loki lowered himself slowly onto Thor, the inadequate lubrication making it tighter and rougher, but oh so good!  He pushed down, the pain mixing indelibly with the pleasure, until he was completely impaled on Thor’s hard flesh.  He finally lowered his head and opened his eyes, looking directly at Thor.  For a few seconds, they shared a deep look, not saying a thing, before Thor suddenly gripped Loki’s waist tightly, flipping them over until he was on top, Pressing Loki into the carpet.  Loki gasped in surprise, shock and a little pain, before he wound his legs around Thor’s waist, hooking his ankles together behind his back.  “Well?” he said sharply, reaching up to pull Thor down for a wet kiss. “What are you waiting for?” He said, squeezing his legs, pressing them impossibly closer together.  Thor growled again as he captured Loki’s mouth in his, before snapping his hips back and plunging forward, trembling with the effort to stay in control.  “God, yes!” Loki shouted, spurring Thor on to continue.  He thrust in and out, quickly, setting a punishing pace, lost in the amazing feel of Loki’s body as well as the needy breathy noises he was making. 

As much as he had wanted this to last, Loki knew it wouldn’t.  It had been so long, he had wanted this so much, that he knew it was a losing battle as he fought for control.  His hard leaking cock was trapped between their bodies, and the hot wet friction of their two stomachs, along with Thor’s thrusts, was quickly pushing him over the edge.  He came with a shuddering yell, spilling between their bodies, convulsing as he rode out his orgasm.  His muscles clenched around Thor, bringing the man over the edge soon after, his heat filling him, before he collapsed, half- on him.  After a moment, Thor pulled out slowly, wincing at the perceived pain he may have caused.  Loki put him at ease though, pulling his head down on his shoulder, kissing him lightly before dropping his head back on the floor.

“We should probably clean up,” Thor mumbled into Loki’s hair as their breathing gradually returned to normal, his hand idly tracing random patterns on Loki’s arm.

“What? Ourselves or the carpet?” Loki said with a small chuckle, one arm draped over his eyes.

Thor lifted his head and looked down at Loki, a silly grin on his face.  “Yeah… I don’t think you’re getting your security deposit back.” He said seriously, causing the two to dissolve into a fit of laughter.  Thor, who had leaned down, pressing his forehead against Loki’s chest while laughing, slowly raised his head and gazed down at Loki.  The laughter died on Loki’s lips as he suddenly leaned up, concerned.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Loki asked, reaching up and smoothing over Thor’s damp hair, worry lines creasing his face.

“I talked to Jane,” Thor said in a rush, almost as if afraid he might get interrupted.  “The day Ian… that day with the hospital… she and I talked.  I told her I couldn’t marry her.  It’s over.”  He watched Loki intently, looking for some kind of reaction, but he just stared right back, a look of… fear? On his face…

 _What am I missing?_ Loki thought as he stared up at the culmination of all his hopes and dreams.  _Could it be true?  Is he all mine? There’s got to be a catch… something…_   “What about the baby?” he whispered, his voice suddenly hoarse.

“There’s… there’s no baby.  It was a – ” he stopped, before automatically repeating the lie Jane had concocted.  “There’s no baby.” He merely said again, a small, sad smile on his face.

“My God,” Loki said suddenly, sitting up, forcing Thor to do the same.  “Is Jane okay?” he said worriedly, wringing his hands, fretting.

“Yes, yes, she’s fine,” Thor said grinning a bit more widely now.  “There… there never was a baby.  Turns out she was… mistaken.” He finished slowly, looking up at Loki, who wound his arms around the larger man’s neck and pulled him close, wanting to give him comfort but reveling in the togetherness as well.  

 _Well, well, well._   Loki thought as he embraced Thor.  _I really didn’t think Jane had it in her to fight so dirty._   He thought to himself, pretty much piecing her plan together from Thor’s few words _.  Guess I underestimated her.  Still, can’t really blame her for wanting to hold on to this,_ he thought with a smirk that he hid in Thor’s shoulder.  Thor pulled back suddenly, opening and closing his mouth as if trying to say something, but no words came out.  “What?  What is it?” Loki asked, concerned.

To his complete shock and embarrassment, Thor felt his face heating up and realized he was blushing!  He grinned, bowing his head, before looking back up shyly.  “I just – I love you.”  He huffed out surprised laughter as he shook his head in surprise.  “You don’t know how good it feels to be able t –“  His words were cut off by Loki grasping his face with both hands and capturing him in a fierce kiss, pulling him back down to the ground on top of him.  They kissed passionately until the lack of oxygen forced them to pull apart when they just leaned, resting their foreheads together. 

“I love you too.” Loki said quietly, eyes closed as he continued carding his fingers through Thor’s hair.  “So…” he said hesitantly, not sure how to continue.  Thor seemed to understand what he was trying to say and picked up where he left off.

“So we can be together now,” Thor said, a huge smile adorning his face.  “back to how we used to be.” He said, stroking Loki’s face. 

The answering smile that Loki wore faltered a bit as he looked up, confusion etched on his face.  “What do you mean, ‘how it used to be’?”  he asked with a slight tinge of dread. 

“Well…” Thor said with a smirk “This, for starters,” he ran his hands up and down Loki’s sides as he spoke, to illustrate his point.  “We can be together, whenever we want,” he mumbled, nuzzling Loki’s neck lovingly, his hands traveling up and down his body.  “Ugh!” he grimaced after a moment, feeling the stickiness drying on both their bodies.  “We really should clean up.” He said, sitting up, trying to stand, only to be stopped by Loki.

“But in secret, you mean.”  Loki said, voice wavering a bit as he finally understood Thor’s words.  “Just us, with no one knowing.”  He finished, his voice suddenly hard and accusing.  He looked at Thor, hoping against hope that he’d contradict him.  Tell him he was mistaken.  Unfortunately, the look on Thor’s face told him everything he needed to know.

What Thor was going to say – what he really wanted to say was that he loved Loki very much, but that this was still so new and that he just needed some time… but instead his stubborn streak was ignited by Loki’s tone.  “I don’t see why other people need to know” he said sharply, “What we do is our business.  Nobody else’s –“ Loki stood suddenly, startling Thor into silence.  The brunet began pacing, wincing slightly at the first couple of steps, no doubt from their earlier exertions, but he paced nonetheless, mumbling as he began picking up his clothes, reaching into one of the cardboard boxes, labeled ‘Ian’s Room’ and grabbing a box of baby wipes.  Thor stood slowly, knowing he was in trouble, but not willing to back down.  “What?  What are you saying?”  He finally said, crossing his arms over his chest, watching Loki scrub viciously at his abs with the wipes.

“I _said_ I can’t believe I was stupid enough to fucking fall for this again!” he yelled, throwing the box of wipes at Thor.  “I’m a grown man, for god’s sake, not a stupid love-struck teenager.  How I keep falling for your lines, I’ll never know!” He finished, pulling on his clothes as he spoke.

“What – what line?” Thor said indignantly as he scrubbed himself haphazardly before starting to pull on his own clothes as well.  “That wasn’t a line!  I do love you!  I meant it!”  In two strides he was before Loki, and held him once again, wanting him to listen. 

“I know you meant it, but, hiding? Really?” Loki said impatiently.  “What makes you think I want to live like that?  I’ve worked hard to overcome a lot, and I’m done hiding.  I owe it to myself and to my child to live honestly and truthfully.  Would you have me bring Ian up like that?  To sneak around and have him know you as my _friend_?” He asked, peering seriously at Thor’s eyes.

Thor looked away impatiently then, not knowing how to convey his feelings, his fingers flexing convulsively around Loki’s arms. “Ian is… I’m crazy about Ian!  You know that!  I’d never do anything to hurt him.  Why would it be so wrong for him to know me as a friend?” he said, his voice a bit higher than usual.

 He turned away, out of Thor’s grip, reached for his shoes and began putting them on, leaning against the wall. “I have the opportunity to give him a normal life for the first time.  In a house.  With a yard.” He said agitatedly, as he finished putting on his shoes.  “That kid’s had a pretty rough time of it, I don’t need his emotions played with by someone who sneaks in and out of our lives like its some crime…” He turned to Thor then, expectantly, waiting for some sort of response.

A tightness gripped Thor’s chest as he felt panic wash over him.  He swallowed thickly as he imagined what it would like, being out to his co-workers, his family… It scared the shit out of him, and he knew he couldn’t do it.  His stubborn nature, though, wouldn’t let him admit his fear.  His reaction, as always when backed into a corner, was to lash out. “What’s the big deal?” he said gruffly, now fully dressed. “Why is this suddenly so important?  You didn’t seem to have a problem with it before…” The minute he’d spoken the words, he knew he’d gone too far.  Loki stilled, then stood up straight, directing his gaze at Thor. 

“Thanks for the job offer of ‘side action’, but I’ve already been your dirty little secret.  I have no desire to repeat it.”  He said briskly, looking away. 

“Loki, what I meant – “ Thor said imploringly, only to be cut off by Loki.

“Anyway, you’d better get going.” Loki said with a sigh, the very picture of boredom as he picked up the used baby wipes and put them in a trash bag by the door.  “The movers should be back any minute now, and you wouldn’t want them to get the wrong idea about why you stuck around.” He opened the door wide as he spoke, standing aside and holding it open, leaving no question as to his wishes.  “Goodbye Thor.”

Anger and embarrassment warred within Thor as he hesitated for a moment, debating whether to continue arguing, or to just leave and lick his wounds.  Why could he not make him understand?  He had wanted to hold his partner, kiss him senseless and convince him that he loved him completely, and that he would shout their love from the rooftops if necessary. The truth was, though, he couldn’t.  In the end, he couldn’t promise Loki that, so he turned and silently walked out the door, not turning back as he heard it shut behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'd love to get your kudos and comments!


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so after I posted, a little voice kept nagging me, saying "More Stony!", so I've updated the chapter a bit. Check out the end for some corrections and a few extra paragraphs featuring my beloved Stony!! <3   
> \----  
> Here it is, Chapter 36, this time with all the typos corrected! That'll teach me to post in the middle of the night, when I'm half asleep! Anyway, I've added a few things to this chapter, so it's worth another read if you're interested. Enjoy! We're almost at the end!

_Well, that’s the last time I listen to one of Banner’s suggestions!_  Captain Rogers thought to himself as he rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, as if attempting to stave off a headache.  When Bruce Banner had come by his office yesterday and requested to make a small presentation on some new tech at the beginning of their weekly status meeting, Steve had agreed, thinking it would be a good idea.  What could go wrong, right?  Steve snorted out a quiet laugh as he stood off to the side, just one of the many spectators of what had quickly become the Thor-and-Loki-show.  At first, both men were being coolly civil to each other, but it quickly became apparent that the mood wouldn’t last, when every topic discussed was a chance for an argument.

"I'm not telling you how to do your job -- " Thor said tightly, showing his annoyance.

"Oh, really? Because it sounds like you are -- "  Loki retorted sarcastically.

"I'm just saying it's a bad call." Thor snapped, his gaze leveled at Loki across the meeting room.

"Then it’s a good thing it's not your call to make!" Loki snapped back immediately, as if anticipating the man's response. 

“You know, it’s stupid decisions like that that can get our guys killed on the field!” Thor said, speaking over the other man.

“Alright, focus people!” The Captain finally said, about at the end of his patience as well.  “We need to move on!  We’ve been on this topic for the past 15 minutes, and there’s still a lot to cover.”

“We’ve done extensive studies on the equipment.” Loki said indignantly. “I don’t think ignorant comments made – “Loki began, only to be silenced by Bruce.

“We’ll take all suggestions into consideration,” Bruce said mildly, putting a hand on Loki’s shoulder and smiling out at the room at large. 

“I still don’t think –“ Thor began, only to be cut off by a now irate captain.

“Thor,” Captain Rogers barked out, rubbing his face in an effort to remain calm “We’ve been over this.  No one’s gonna _die_ because the body camera is worn on the left shoulder instead of the right!  Now let’s move on!” He said, sitting down and jerking his head towards Banner and Loki, indicating they continue.  Thor huffed, but sat down as well, crossing his arms across his chest.  The rest of the room was unusually quiet, as all the other detectives sat back and watched the fireworks, taking a certain amount of glee at the other men’s pissing contest.

 _Okay, something's gotta give,_ Steve thought to himself as he watched Banner and Loki continue their presentation.  _These two better get a handle on whatever this is_ _, before it starts affecting my precinct…_ he thought frustrated.  Steve didn’t want to get involved in this obviously personal matter, _but it looks like I’m_ _gonna have to…_ Steve thought as he watched Thor and Loki glaring daggers at each other across the room.  _Ugh!  At least its Fr_ _iday,_ he thought, resigned.

 _W_ _here the fuck is it?_   Thor thought angrily as he rifled through the files first in his desk, then in the drawers, searching for his copies of the Towers evidence.  He’d been intrigued by the findings Reed had written about.  Those damned red fibers that had confounded him for so long were finally explained.  Apparently, they were from a wool that only came from Jogeva, Estonia, some exclusive looming process that was pretty rare to find.  Thor was anxious to delve in and do some more research tonight, maybe take his mind off… _things_ .  He was sure he’d left the folder here, but the more he looked, the more frustrated he got.  It didn’t help matters that the captain had lit into him right after the meeting, blaming him for being disruptive.  It wasn’t his fault that Loki had been so obstinate and pig-headed!  Thor felt his face heat with anger as he remembered their sparring.  Lately, (after Loki’s _moving day_ _!_ ) it seemed every conversation the two had quickly became an argument, no matter the topic.  Loki’s eyes would turn steely as he glared at him, his face becoming flushed as he growled out retorts to Thor’s jabs, his chin jutting out, exposing the lines of his strong smooth neck… Okay, so maybe a part of Thor actually kind of enjoyed seeing Loki worked up.  Loved it when he could see fierce passion blooming on his face… Thor finally stopped ransacking his desk and just leaned against it, taking deep breaths, willing himself to calm down.  Who was he kidding?  If he was honest with himself, Thor had to admit that he just wanted to be around Loki, no matter what the circumstances. 

Last Saturday, Thor had been so certain about where he and Loki were headed.  When he was _dismissed_ , (because that was _exactly_ what happened!) Thor had been so angry because the other man just didn’t understand.  He knew Loki had been through a lot in his life, had struggled because of his sexuality.  He had overcome so many obstacles to get to where he was today, he just couldn’t see why everyone wouldn’t want to do the same.  But they came from such different worlds!  _Why doesn’t he get it?_   Thor had thought, frustrated, as he gazed out at the activity around him at the precinct.  His job, his friends, his _family_ … God, just imagining the look on his father’s face when he told him made him shudder and close his eyes in perceived mortification.  Everything he had could be jeopardized.  He risked losing so much!  _Am I just supposed_ _to turn_ _my life upside-down because I love this man?_ He asked himself.  **Yes**.  His mind quickly supplied, without hesitation.

Immediately, images of Ian and Loki popped into Thor’s head.  His heart constricted a bit as he thought of them with longing, missing the two, wishing he could be a part of their lives… And now Eric had swept in and planted himself squarely in the middle of everything!  Thor gripped the edges of his desk in frustration, his knuckles turning white.  He wasn’t fooled by Eric’s Good Friend and Benefactor act.  Whatever the man’s actions now, he had ulterior motives, Thor was sure of it.  The way he regarded Loki, that cold, calculating look never quite left his eyes.  It felt almost as if he wanted him as a possession, something to collect.  He was using Loki’s current ‘Ian-centric’ mindset to his advantage!  Thor huffed out indignantly as he moved around his desk, grabbing his jacket and checking his gun and holster as he prepared to go out on a call.  It would be different if Eric genuinely cared for Loki, wanted to love and protect him.  If that were the case, Thor would happily step aside, wish the two well and – “Oh who the fuck am I kidding” he mumbled to himself as he stormed out, frustrated with himself at his own delusions.  He could at least admit to himself that he would pretty much want to rip the head off of _anyone_ Loki was involved with.  His dark mood didn’t improve for the rest of the day.  Oh, they got the job done, picking up the collar in the end, but he was short with the uniformeds that were there to assist, barking out orders the whole time.  By the time he arrived back at the precinct that evening, he was ready to call it a day.  He took care of the paperwork as quickly as possible and checked his desk for the file one more time, wondering where it could have gone.  He resolved to look in his car and at home, doubting himself as to where he could have left it.  _Fuck!  Am I that far gone?_   He thought to himself tiredly.  _I need_ _to_ _focus!  This is important!_   He chided himself as he walked towards the parking lot elevator. 

“Hey, Thor!” A voice called out to him, causing him to pause at the doors.  He turned towards the voice, smiling at Detective May, one of his colleagues from homicide.  “Did Loki find what he was looking for?” She asked briskly, all business as usual.

“L – Loki?” He asked dumbly, not knowing what they were talking about.  “What do you mean?”

“Oh, he was at your desk earlier, looking for a file.  I wanted to let him know Sitwell’s pretty free today, so he could get a copy fairly quickly if he requested it.” She answered. “Must be tougher than he thought in I.T., huh?  He looks pretty frazzled”

Thor nodded distractedly, processing what she had just said.   _Loki we_ _nt through my desk?_ _He took my file!_ He thought feeling suddenly angry at the intrusion, yet oddly happy that Loki was still showing an interest in their investigation.  “Um, yeah… I mean… No…”  Thor said, trying to catch up. “It’s just the learning curve.  New job and all…” 

“Yeah, guess you’re right.” She mused  “Then of course he’s got Ian now,” She said leaning against the wall.  “The whole dad thing can’t be easy, especially when it gets sprung on you!”  She said with a laugh.  “He’s doing great though.  Throwing that party together at such short notice – “

“What party?” Thor cut in, surprised, ignoring the elevator doors as they opened before him.

“Ian’s birthday party tomorrow,” She said, suddenly cautious. “I just figured you knew…”

“Oh...  Oh that!” Thor said, forcing a laugh.  “No, yeah I know about it… just didn’t really think of it as a party… more like a get together… you know… kids…” he tapered off, running out of things to say.

“Of course!” Detective May said, sounding relieved “You guys’re really close, so of course you know!  So, I’ll see you there?”  She said, as she started to walk away.

 “Oh, yeah.  Definitely.”  Thor said as he walked into the elevator, and watched the doors close.  “And maybe I can get my file back and find out why I wasn’t invited!” Thor said to himself, as he walked to his car, planning to make a stop at a toy store on his way home.  Apparently, he was going to Ian’s birthday party tomorrow!

. o O o .

Growing up the way he did, Loki never had the opportunity to go to a kid’s birthday party, much less have one of his own.  Still, he was pretty sure kid’s birthday parties shouldn’t require waiters.  _When_ _the hell did this happen?_ He thought to himself as he tried to navigate through his little kitchen, now crowded by a full kitchen staff.  It had started out innocently enough.  As soon as Loki and Ian moved in, Eric had insisted on taking them around the neighborhood, wanting them to get acquainted with their new surroundings.  They were sitting at a bench in a small park near the little house Loki was now renting, watching Ian get acquainted with the ducks in the pond.  Loki watched fondly as Ian would slowly inch towards the ducks, trying to sneak up on them, only to have the birds waddle away and jump in the water.  Ian would squeal with glee and clap, clearly delighted with this new trick.  Hearing the boy’s high-pitched, delighted laughter, even after everything he had been through,

was so gratifying for Loki.  _The kid deserves this,_ He thought, feeling a lump forming in his throat.  He reached up and swiftly wiped away a stray tear that had escaped his eye, glancing quickly at Eric, wondering if he’d noticed.  He suddenly did a double-take, as he noticed Eric watching him.  For an instant, Loki thought he saw a cold and calculating, almost annoyed look on Eric’s face as he regarded him, but it was gone in an instant, leaving Loki to wonder if he had imagined the whole thing.

“The boy just had a birthday, didn’t he?” Eric said suddenly, a small smile forming on his lips. 

“Yeah,” Loki said, wincing.  “It was a couple of days ago.  We were still going through the whole ‘moving to San Diego’ thing, so I really didn’t do much for him… okay, I didn’t do _anything_ for him.” Loki said, running his hands through his hair.  “Actually, I’d been meaning to ask you, would it be okay if had a little get-together for Ian?” Loki asked nervously, turning to glance at Eric.  “Just some kids from his daycare, nothing fancy…”

“Loki,” Eric said exasperated, that’s your home, you don’t have to ask for permission!” He said evenly.  “In fact,” he continued, standing and pulling out his phone “please allow me to help.” 

“What? No, Eric, really!” Loki said quickly, realizing what Eric meant.  I’m just gonna buy a little cake, sing ‘happy birthday’, have ‘em chase each other around the yard…”  The older man was already deep in conversation with one of his assistants, quickly giving orders and making plans, not listening to Loki’s protests.  “I mean it Eric,” Loki said firmly, placing his hand on Eric’s arm to gain his attention.  “You’ve already done so much.  A simple get-together will be fine.  Really.” 

At Loki’s touch, Eric stilled instantly and turned his gaze at him.  Loki smiled what he hoped was a friendly, open smile as he forced his gaze to remain steady on Eric.  The truth was, the older man’s intense look sometimes made him nervous.  He often watched Loki with a cold, assessing… _glare_ , almost as if he was angry at him.  Loki knew he was just being hyper-sensitive, though.  Residual feelings from his days of the Sapphire Towers investigation, where Thor and he had pegged Eric as a possible murderer!  He had really come through for Loki and Ian in the past few days, though, helping him in the hospital, then renting them that great house, giving Ian a chance to have a yard…

Sure, Loki wasn't an idiot, though.  He knew Eric's motives weren't completely altruistic, and that most of what he did was with the hope that a romantic relationship would develop between them.  That thought always hovered in the back of Loki's mind, making him feel guilty at the possibility that he might actually be hurting Eric.  He had said as much the day Eric had shown him the little house and offered to rent it to him at a discount.  It was in a great neighborhood.  One of the best in town.  Loki was certain there would be no way he could ever afford any rent around here.  The house was bright and airy, with a nice backyard and on a street with other kids playing.  It would be perfect for a new family getting started.  Loki was suddenly filled with longing as he imagined he and Ian ( _and Thor!_ his mind insisted before he tamped the thought down) happily playing in the yard.

"Your offer's very generous Eric, but I can't accept it," Loki had said, glancing guiltily at Eric. "I think you're hoping for... more.  Something to happen between us, but I don't have feelings for you other than friendship." He looked around at the little house, not quite able to keep the longing look from his face.  "I will always be grateful for all your help with the hospital, but -- "

"Pff! Nonsense!  You'd be doing me a favor." Eric had said dismissively, waving his hand around.  "This property has been vacant for quite some time.  I'll be happy its being put to good use.  You want this for the boy, don't you?" He asked Loki almost sternly, as if he was chastising him somehow.  In the end, Loki had relented, after insisting on a rental agreement, still feeling slightly guilty, but thinking it was for Ian's benefit.

“Of course, Loki” Eric said mildly, pulling him out of his thoughts, his smile never quite reaching his eyes.  “It’ll be a small affair, but you must allow me to do _something_...”

 “Sure, okay” Loki said slowly. “Just – nothing fancy, okay?  It’s just a little kid’s birthday party.”

\-----

 _Maybe I should have been more specific,_ Loki thought wryly, twisting the plastic water bottle he had picked up in his hands, as he looked out the window at the almost unrecognizable backyard.  In just a couple of days, Eric’s staff had transformed the little space into Neverland, complete with a mermaid lagoon, pirates and, incredibly, an exotic animal wrangler complete with reptiles for the kids to pet.  The kitchen was cooking up all manner of treats, from the simple kid-friendly fare to high-end appetizers for the adults, of which there were way more than Loki remembered inviting.  In addition to the daycare crowd and a few detectives from work, there were a few people that Eric had invited, Loki had no idea why.  

As Loki regarded the small group of Eric's friends, he wondered again why he would invite them to a kid's birthday party that they didn't even know!  It seemed a bit odd, but they seemed comfortable enough.  Eric was holding court with his group, his casual outfit of khakis and a polo shirt doing nothing to diminish his power.  Even in this setting, the older man didn't seem to relax, his gaze darting around surreptitiously, constantly measuring those around him as he spoke, his smile never quite reaching his eyes.  Loki's thoughts were quickly interrupted as Eric suddenly snapped his head up and turned his gaze directly at him through the kitchen window, as if sensing Loki watching him.  Loki flinched slightly and quickly turned away, suddenly very interested in the salmon puffs coming out of the oven.  He didn't know why Eric made him so uncomfortable sometimes, and resolved to make an effort to not be so... unsettled by him.

 “Stand down detective.  I don’t think this crowd’s dangerous.” Captain Rogers mumbled as he leaned into Loki’s side, trying to sound serious, but failing miserably as he fought to keep the smile off his face.  “Relax!” Steve said, finally breaking into a grin as he stuffed some of the fancy appetizers in his mouth.  “You’ve done good!  Look at him! Ian’s having a great time.  He’s eating too much sugar and running around, which practically guarantees he’ll throw up all over you before the day is over, so, win win, right?”

“I just want him to be happy,” Loki said earnestly, watching Ian splash through the ‘lagoon’ as he chased a little red-headed girl in a pale blue dress.  “He deserves it.  It hasn’t been easy,” he mused.  “Getting used to a new town, new house, new _dad_ ,” he raised his eyebrows at Steve with a _can you believe it?_ Look, “even a nanny!” Loki said.  “Yet, Look at him!  The kid’s thriving.”

“I’ve gotta admit, I never imagined you as someone who would hire a nanny!” Steve said with a laugh, as he collected more food on his plate before following Loki out into the backyard.

“That’s all Eric,” Loki said, glancing at Steve with a wince.  “He offered… after Ian’s hospital thing… And she’s great!” Loki said quickly, wanting to stress that point to Steve.  “She’s fully vetted and has I-don’t-know-how-many degrees in child development…”  Loki snapped his mouth shut as he willed himself to stop talking, realizing he was sounding kind of manic, plus, the more he talked, the more Steve’s frown deepened.  “Anyway, Ian’s happy with her.” Loki said decisively.  “Thanks for coming by the way,” He said, smiling, in an attempt to change the subject.  “I know you and Tony had that thing –“

“Aw come on, it’s no big deal.” Steve said, leaning against the house as he finished off his food “Tony’s sorry he missed this though.  He would have loved to visit Neverland.  Peter Pan’s his hero.”  He said with a laugh. 

“Yeah, I can see that,” Loki said, joining in.  He felt himself relaxing as they chatted, enjoying his friend’s company.  Ever since he’d transferred out of homicide, he and Steve had developed a strong bond of friendship that the two enjoyed.  As the two men idly chatted, Loki looked around his little backyard and thought this might be okay after all.  He finally felt himself relaxing, which of course was about the time that he spotted the familiar long blond hair approaching from the driveway.  “What the hell is he doing here?” Loki hissed angrily as he watched Thor being greeted by some of their co-workers. 

 _Oh shit,_ Steve thought warily, sensing things going south very quickly.  “I’ll go talk to him,” he said, pushing away from the wall.

“No.  I got this.” Loki said evenly.  As he walked over determinedly, Loki cursing his traitorous body as he went.  Despite his anger, his breath hitched for a second and his heart hammered in his chest, giddy at being so close to the man he loved.

“Good afternoon, Loki,” Thor said with a tight smile, as his former partner approached.

“Funny, I don’t remember inviting you.” Loki said, overly politely. 

“This is a party for Ian and his friends… I’m a friend of Ian’s” Thor said with a shrug, nonchalantly.  “Besides, I also came to see you” He said, leveling his stare at Loki. 

“Wh – what – why?” Loki stuttered, ignoring the sudden thrill that ran through him at hearing those words.

“You took a file from my desk.  I want it back.”

Oh.  That.  Of course it was about work.  Why else would he be looking for Loki?  “That was my investigation too,” Loki said, willing his disappointment not to show. “I have every right to review that evidence as well,” he continued, “besides – “

“Look Loki, don't – “ Thor said cutting him off, before they were both rendered quiet by an excited scream from across the yard.

“Tor!” a little voice echoed as Ian flew across the yard, flinging himself at Thor, who automatically crouched down, easily catching the boy mid-jump.

“Hey man!” Thor said delightedly, a smile blooming across his face as he hugged Ian to his chest.  “Happy birthday!  Look at you!  I think you’ve grown twice as big since I last saw you!"

“Look! Is my party!” Ian chattered excitedly, bouncing up and down in Thor’s arms “I gots snakes!  An’ a goon!  Come on, come on!” he urged, trying to wriggle out of Thor’s arms.

The laughter boomed from Thor as he put Ian down on the ground and picked up the gift bag he’d brought.  “Okay, lead the way to the ‘goon’!”  He said, allowing himself to be pulled into the backyard, away from Loki.

 “You alright?” Steve asked, that concerned furrowed brow present on his face.

Loki leaned against the short fence behind him, slumping his shoulders as he acknowledged his friend.  “How am I supposed to get over him when he shows up looking… well… like that!” He said exasperated, “Shit, even Ian’s in love with him!” He said dejectedly, watching the two playing by the lagoon, narrowing his eyes as he noticed the ‘mermaids’ being a little too friendly with the blond.

As he followed Loki’s gaze, Steve considered his friend’s situation.  “I could call him in, make him work double shifts.” He said seriously before grinning, hoping for levity.

“No, I couldn’t do that to Ian.” Loki said tiredly.   “He’d be devastated if Thor left.”

“Yeah.  _Ian_ would be devastated.”  Steve said with a smile, shaking his head.  “Come on,” he said, throwing his arm over Loki’s shoulders “All they’ve got to drink out here is lemonade, but I know where we can score some booze,” he said, directing Loki into the kitchen once again. 

They sat in the patio, watching the activity, and Loki even managed to be solicitous and polite to Thor throughout the cake-cutting and present-opening portion of the day.  Ian had a wonderful time, screeching in delight at his new toys, enjoying the attention.  “Jeez, how many toys does this kid need?” Steve said and he helped Loki gather up the boxes and stack them off to the side. 

“Honestly, I think he got a bigger kick out of ripping off the wrapping paper than anything else.” Loki said with a smile, as he stacked more toys.  He quickly glanced over at the sandy area by the lagoon (now blessedly mermaid-free) where Thor and Ian were busy with some complicated operation involving moving sand around with Ian’s new trucks.  He was positioning one of the toy trucks just so, as Thor carefully poured sand into the truck bed, all the while nodding sagely at what was probably Ian’s nonsensical ramblings.  They’d been at it for some time, yet Thor seemed perfectly happy to sit in the dirt and play with the boy.  Loki smiled as he ducked his head, looking away quickly, not wanting to get caught staring.  He delighted at the interaction between the two, happy that Ian was so taken by Thor… Loki’s smile dropped from his face suddenly as he shoved a couple of boxes to the side angrily.  “Dammit!” he muttered, looking up at Steve who raised his eyebrows questioningly.  “Why does he have to do that?” he said, gesturing towards the lagoon without looking.

“Do what” Steve said curiously. 

“Be completely fucking adorable!” Loki whisper-hissed as he leaned against the patio doorway petulantly, arms crossed across his chest.  “How am I supposed to get over him if he’s acting like… like…”

“Yeah, I know.” Steve said.  “You wanna… talk about it?” Steve said uncomfortably.  Even though he promised to be there for Loki, discussing _feelings_ wasn’t always easy.

"It seems the event was a great success," Eric's voice sounded in Loki's ear, as his arm snaked around his waist. Causing Loki to jump, startled. 

“Ye – yeah, I think it went very well,” Loki said as he deftly pulled away from Eric.  “Thank you so much Eric, this has meant so much to us.  Really.”

“Oh, it was nothing,” Eric said dismissively, stepping back into Loki’s personal space “Come, though.  There are a couple of people I’d love you to meet.” He said, placing his hand in the middle of Loki’s back and steering him towards his group of acquaintances. 

As Loki was led away, Steve took the opportunity to say his good-byes, quickly, answering a call as he went. 

Eventually, the kids started to wind down and the party was over.  As parents gathered their kids and adults said their good-byes, Loki hazarded a look around for Thor, while pretending not to.  He was cradling a sleeping Ian in his arms, ( _My son_ , he thought suddenly, a warmth filling his chest) the boy having crawled into his arms a few moments ago, before promptly crashing from his sugar high.

“Let me take him, Mr. Loki” Bailey, Ian’s nanny said, coming up beside him.  “I’ll put him down in his bedroom, if you’d like to see to your guests?  I don’t think he’ll wake up any time soon” She said with a smile as she carefully took Ian in her arms. “His eyes were already closing when Mr. Thor said his goodbyes, he just kept fighting it.” She shook her head fondly as she walked down the hall. 

Loki stood there dumbly, a smile plastered on his face, not betraying the irrational disappointment he felt.  He should be relieved.  And grateful!  Ian had a wonderful time, and everyone else enjoyed themselves.  Yet all he could think about was that Thor had left without saying goodbye.

. o O o .

“Tony?” Steve called out warily as he unlocked his front door A few miles away.  He had rushed home after receiving a cryptic voice mail from an overly-casual Tony asking first, if they had a burn kit, and second, how attached was Steve to that oak credenza his grandmother had left him?   _Know what? Never mind,_ he’d said.   _I’ll figure it out.  Love you, bye!_   Steve had run to his car and driven home as fast as he could. 

It had snowed in his living room.  How had it snowed in his living room?  Steve walked in slowly, looking around at what he could now see was stuffing from a large part of the couch, which seemed to have exploded.  “Okay, okay, in my defense… “ Tony said quickly as he rushed into the room, holding a towel to a spot just below his jaw.  He stood before Steve and looked around him, as if hoping the answer would suddenly jump out at him.  “Alright, I got nothing.”  He finally said with a wince, shrugging a shoulder.  “But I promise, I’ll replace the couch!” He said quickly, concerned by Steve’s quiet intense stare.  “I’ve already started looking around at all those god-awful discount stores you like so much, and I think I’ve found a suitable facsimile of this old – “ His words were cut off mid-sentence as he was suddenly enveloped in a bone-crushing hug.  “Wha – Steve, what is it?” Tony asked, suddenly concerned.

“Hmfn” Steve said, his face burrowed into the side of Tony’s neck.  He raised his head slightly, placing a soft kiss onto Tony’s temple.  “Wait – are you hurt?” Steve said suddenly, remembering the burn kit question.  He pulled back quickly and tilted Tony’s face to the side, pulling the towel away for a better look.

“No, no.  I’m fine.” Tony said dismissively.  “It was just a little graze.  What’s going on here though?  Is this – are – wait, am I in trouble?” He asked cautiously.

“No!  No just… I’m sorry.  For what I put you through every day.”  He pulled back and gazed into Tony’s confused eyes, his arms still wound around his partner’s waist.  “I’ve always known it was hard on you… hiding our… _us!_   And you’ve never complained… much!” he said with a smile.  “But today… well I kind of got an up-close-and-personal view of how you must really feel, so… I’m sorry.  And thank you.”  He leaned down, capturing Tony’s mouth in a soft kiss, which gradually turned more heated and insistent as the two pressed closer together. 

“Thanks for what?” Tony sighed, after they finally pulled apart, both breathing heavily.

“For not kicking me to the curb after I told you I couldn’t be out right away!” Steve said, hugging Tony to his side as he dropped into a chair (the couch being temporarily unavailable!) pulling him onto his lap as he sat.  “You’ve accepted and allowed my insecurities, and stuck with me in a situation that not many others would have tolerated.  So again, thank you.” He said, grinning mildly.  Tony regarded him for a moment, eyes narrowed, not saying anything, until suddenly he broke into a blinding smile, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck.

“Anytime, baby” Tony quipped, repositioning himself on Steve’s lap, until he was straddling the blond.  “Well, that must have been one hell of a party today, for you to have all these revelations.  Wanna talk about it?”

“No, not really…” Steve finally said, after a moment’s silence. “I just want you to know that… that it won’t be forever.  I promise.”  He finished, leveling his gaze to Tony’s, wanting him to understand.

“Oh, I know, cap.”  Tony said, wriggling closer until his chest was pressed up against his partner.  “I love you.  That’s enough for me.” He said leaning in to press a not-so-chaste kiss to Steve’s mouth, humming contentedly at the closeness.

“Tony,” Steve breathed out, trying to catch his breath as his partner trailed kisses down his neck.

“hmmm?” Tony said distractedly, as he snaked his hands under Steve’s shirt, his fingers tracing over the lines of muscle.

“What the hell happened to the couch?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and kudos are always welcome.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done! It's coming down to the wire. hope you like it :-)
> 
> Added some new artwork from the very talented GoLikeThat!

After the party, Eric’s staff and the cleaning crew worked their magic and brought the house back to its normal state, all the while staunchly refusing Loki’s offers of help.  As Loki watched them work, he spent the evening obsessing over why Thor had left without saying anything.  Long after he had gone to bed, Loki had lain awake,lovingly stroking Ian’s hair, (He still didn’t sleep in his own bed through the night, though they were working on it!)dissecting the events of the party, wondering what could have happened.  In the morning,he awoke vaguely annoyed at Thor.  _What did_ _he_ _think he was doing anyway?_ Loki thought as he got Ian ready for his swimming lesson.  _H_ _e shows up_ _at_ ** _my_** _home, at_ ** _my_** _son’s birthday_ _par_ _ty, then… then he – he_ _doesn’t_ _even –_ _say_ _goodby_ _e?  Who do_ _es that?_   By the time Bailey came to get Ian, Loki had worked himself up from annoyed to angry.  Angry at Thor.  Because… well… _because!_   He thought irrationally.  He had wanted to take Ian to the class himself, but then had thought maybe he would have to do some cleanup from the party, so he had asked Bailey, who was more than happy to step in.  _It’s probably better I’m not around th_ _e k_ _id_ _s right now, anyway_ , Loki thought as he waved goodbye, before turning and heading back in the house.  As he prepared himself a cup of tea, he tried to calm himself, reasoning that it wasn’t worth the effort to get so angry, but the more he thought about Thor’s behavior, the angrier he got.  “Okay, I’m gonna need some answers.” he finally said to himself as he gave up all pretense of relaxing and reached for his phone.

. o O o .

Someone was having a breakfast get-together… _thing_ outside.  Thor could hear the happy conversations and laughter drifting into his open window.  Normally, he didn’t mind the social atmosphere in his apartment complex.  Tenants were always having get-togethers in the center courtyard, which the apartments surrounded.  It was nice.  Families.  Getting together.  And if he had to listen to them one second longer, his head was going to explode!  Thor groaned as he rolled over in his bed, covering his pounding head with his pillow, willing the window to close all on its own.  He opened one bleary eye and looked at the clock on his cable box.  9:00. _Ugh_ _!_ _I am. Never. Drinking. Again_ _._  Thor thought to himself as he felt a slight wave of nausea checking in to accompany the steady drumbeat in his head.  _I’m getting too old for this shit!_  He thought miserably as he squeezed his eyes shut against the light.  He and Clint had gone out the previous night, stayed out waaay too late and drank waaay too much.  _What the fuck possessed_ _me to –_ _oh.  Right_ _._ Thor groaned as the events of Ian’s party came flooding back to him.  He held his hand over his eyes as he remembered playing with Ian, having a good time before it all turned to shit.

“So… why are we putting dirt in the truck?” Thor had asked Ian as they sat in the sand pit by the mermaid ‘goon’, pouring handfuls of sand into the new yellow dump truck he had bought Ian the day before.  It had been an impulsive, nostalgic gift.  He had had one as a kid, so he chose it over all those other flashy electronic toys in the store, hoping the boy would like it.  Turned out, anything that involved playing in dirt was okay with Ian. 

“b’cuz, to move it o’er dere” Ian said seriously, pointing to a spot five feet away.  He began to push the truck, carefully maneuvering it over to the designated spot, his brow furrowed in concentration as he focused on his task.  Once there, he tilted the handle, causing the sand to pour out into a small mound.  Ian watched, fascinated, before turning to face Thor, beaming like that was the greatest feat he had ever seen.  “Again!” he said as he quickly pushed the toy back to where he started. 

“More dirt?” Thor said seriously, even as his eyes danced with mirth as he enjoyed Ian’s enthusiasm. 

“Ya, you do it” Ian ordered, as he crawled around, completely enjoying his task.  This went on for some time, the two moving dirt back and forth as Ian chattered on about all manner of things, Thor thoroughly enjoying himself. 

As he played with Ian, Thor glanced around casually, noting where Loki was at all times, hoping to get him alone at some point.  He glanced up, noting thatLoki and the captain were still deep in conversation.  _Hmm, they’d been together the whole day.  Have they always been that close?_ Thor thought uneasily as he watched the two interacting out of the corner of his eye.  _Nah, the captain’s married_ _.  Wait_ _… Isn’t he?_   He thought, frowning.  _Great!_   He thought to himself sarcastically, _now there’s… the captain?!?_  As he considered the disquieting thought of having his boss for a rival, Thor’s attention was suddenly caught by the activity in the patio.  Eric had joined the two men, walking right up to Loki and wrapping an arm around him confidently, with the self-assuredness of someone who had the  _right_. 

Thor’s hands stilled over the toy truck for a second and he suddenly felt a flash of anger.  _Hands off.  Mine_ _._ Immediately ran through his mind as he watched the familiarity.  He quickly darted his gaze back down to his hands, though, as he was filled with the realization that, no, he didn’t really have any rights here.  He had been given that right, had had it offered to him on a silver platter even, and he had turned his back on it.  Thor suddenly felt tired as he watched Ian take the toy truck and move it as he continued to chatter away.  He had no right to even be angry… _what the hell was_ _I thinking, coming here?_ Thor thought looking around him, taking in the festive colorful party, set against the little blue and white house.  Who was he kidding?  The house, the family… this is what Loki wanted.  What he’d dreamed about.  Thor couldn’t begrudge him that.  He deserved to be happy, and if someone else could –

Thor stood up abruptly, stopping his train of thought, taking deep gulps of air, suddenly having a hard time breathing.  He had to get out of there.  _Now_ _._   He reached down, quickly scooping Ian up before the boy had a chance to say anything.

“Where you goin’ Tor?” Ian asked with a frown as Thor walked them over towards the side of the yard, where the nanny stood, talking to one of the caterers.

“Hey buddy, I’ve gotta get going, but maybe Bailey’ll help you with the truck-sand-thing we were doing out there…” Thor said as he handed the boy over to the smiling girl.  He placed a few quick kisses on Ian’s head before leaving, promising to return soon.  It was a mark of how tired the little boy was getting that he didn’t protest too much as his friend rushed off.

Driving away, Thor felt a sort of panic building up within him as he tried to calm down, but not doing a very good job of it.  _Why can’t_ _I do t_ _hi_ _s?_ He thought to himself as he drove, gripping his hands tightly to the steering wheel in consternation.  Every time he allowed himself to imagine the two of them together, out in public as a couple, though, he was quickly filled with anxiety and… well… _fear!_   _What would people say?  What would they do?_   He bowed his head as he stopped at the stoplight, cursing his insecurities, which he felt had surely cost him Loki.  He was so worked up and anxious, he felt like he was going to come out of his skin.  He needed… what? He wasn’t sure, but He knew he didn’t want to be alone.  _Right_ _,_ he said to himself grimly as he decided where to go and turned his car accordingly.  _I’m play_ _ing the friendship card.  Like it or not, Clint’s gonna have to talk feelings tonight!_ In the end, they had gone out, gotten drunk, (or rather Thor had gotten drunk) and Clint had listened sympathetically as Thor had unloaded his emotional baggage all over him.  Clint had dropped him off late at night, with a promise to call him the next morning. 

\---

One hour, two bottles of water and four aspirin later, Thor’s headache had been downgraded to a dull pounding, and he had just begun to seriously consider actually getting out of bed, when his phone’s buzzing interrupted his thoughts.  Thor reached out to the nightstand mid-yawn, grabbing his phone and squinting at the screen.  His morning-hangover fuzziness quickly dissipated, though, as he read the name on the screen and quickly answered the phone.

“So what the hell was that all about yesterday?”  Loki demanded without preamble, after Thor said hello.  “You show up, without telling me, then you _leave_ without telling me – “

“My apologies Loki,” Thor said with a yawn “I didn’t realize I had to announce my every move to you.”

“Your every – when did – I never – I didn’t say you had to _report_ to me!” Loki finally yelled, after sputtering in surprise.  “I just think it would have been polite to say ‘hey, I’m leaving now,’ or something.  Walking in, then out of someone’s house is… well it’s… _rude_!” he finished awkwardly, running out of steam.  

 _What the – **He’s** annoyed at me?_  Thor thought angrily as he sat up.  “I didn’t think you’d even noticed I had left,” Thor said indignantly, getting angrier as he remembered yesterday. “What with you dividing your time between the captain’s engrossing conversation and snuggling up to Eric!” He said, his words clipped as the feelings from the previous day rushed back to him.  He knew he was being petty, and that he may be hurting Loki by speaking ill of Eric, if they were in fact a couple, but he just couldn’t help himself.

 “What?  What’re you talking about?” Loki said, his confusion causing his anger to ebb a bit. 

“I’m just saying that all that flirting you were doing yesterday didn’t go unnoticed.” Thor said angrily, swinging his legs off the bed as he spoke agitatedly.

“Wh – I – _flirting_?” Loki said incredulously.  “I wasn’t flirting!  I don’t know if you noticed, but I had a house full of guests that I was attend – “

“But you seemed to find the time to snuggle up to Eric,” Thor cut in quickly. 

“I was not – “

“I’m just telling you what I saw -- ”  Thor started, before Loki spoke over him

 “He’s just a friend, Thor.  He’s helping me out.  That’s it!” Loki ground out with finality.  _That’s what he thinks?!?_ Loki thought to himself.  “So you left yesterday because you thought – ”

 “No!” Thor said quickly, “I had… things to do.” _Like get wasted and cry in my beer over you_ _,_ he thought miserably.

 Loki stilled for a moment, taken off guard by Thor’s tone.  He had sounded nervous, as if he’d been caught at something.  _Wait… was he… jealous?!_   “Well, I was just wondering.” Loki said finally, overly casually “you were so adamant about getting that damned file from me, then you just take off without taking it with you – “

“Hey, I still want that back!” Thor said, suddenly remembering.  “You took it without – “

“Oh for god’s sake Thor, take it!” Loki said, annoyed “I’ve already reviewed it anyway.  It'll be on your desk Monday morning.”

“I want it today, Loki” Thor said angrily.  "I had a plan to work with it this weekend, which you would have known, if you'd just asked instead of rifling through my things!"  He was standing by his bed now, hang-over long forgotten. _Shit, I am genuinely pissed off!_   He marveled to himself.  _Over a fucking folder!_  He thought, feeling off-center at the thrill of… excitement he felt along with the annoyance.  _I need to get a hold of myself._ He thought, as he pondered how any words from Loki could affect him.

"If you want it so bad, come and get it!” Loki yelled out, wincing suddenly as he heard the double meaning in his words.  “I'm not driving all the way to the precinct or to your place, so… up to you.” He finished quickly, hoping Thor couldn’t hear his embarrassment.

Whatever retort Thor had ready to shoot back died in his throat as Loki’s words registered.  _He’s talking about the file.  Just the file._   He told himself. Problem was, certain body parts weren’t really listening to him.  He took a deep breath, adjusting himself as he finally found his voice. “On my way.” He said, hanging up and dressing quickly before rushing out the door.

Embracing and kissing Loki felt like the most _right_ Thor had felt in a long time.  He had arrived at the little house, walking right in the front door without so much as knocking, somehow knowing it would be okay.  Loki, who had been standing a few feet away from the door, quickly rushed into Thor’s arms without a word, capturing the blond’s mouth in a searing kiss.  Thor sighed deeply in satisfaction as he ran his hands over Loki’s body, reveling in the feel of Loki’s insistent tongue currently exploring his mouth. 

 _We should probably talk,_ Thor thought distantly, as he allowed himself to be pulled towards the couch.  As much as he wanted this to continue, there were questions he needed to ask. “W-wait, Loki…” he mumbled trying to capture Loki’s very insistent hands, currently busy tearing open his pants.  Loki answered by pushing Thor down onto the couch, quickly straddling him.  “Loki, we – guh!” Thor exclaimed as Loki trailed insistent kisses and bites down Thor’s neck, successfully rendering his brain to mush.  He was quickly sinking into the sensations, giving into the burning lust that seemed to drive them both, when he suddenly marshalled his thoughts and pushed Loki up, holding him by the shoulders.  “Where’s Ian?” he panted, breaths coming quickly. 

“Swim class,” Loki said quickly, before diving back in, grasping Thor’s face and devouring his mouth once more. 

“Wait, wait…” Thor said, pushing Loki up once again, trying to keep his wits about him.  This time, Loki was ready for him though, taking advantage of his position and grinding his hips down, driving shocks of pleasure up through Thor. “G – gah! Dammit, Loki, wait!” Thor said, scooting back, trying to push Loki up.

“Fuck!  Why?” Loki said harshly, sitting up and looking directly at Thor, his eyes blazing and so filled with lust that Thor very nearly gave in.  _Talking’s overrated anyway…_ he thought, before focusing again.

“You and the captain,” Thor panted, catching his breath.  “Are you two…” It wasn’t until he said the words out loud that he realized how ridiculous the notion was.  That wasn’t… It couldn’t… still, he had to know, even if the question brought their activities to a screeching halt.  Loki’s expression changed to confusion as he furrowed his brow, regarding Thor as if he’d suddenly sprouted another nose. 

“Me and _Steve_ _?_ ”  He asked, his voice going up practically an octave. He stared at Thor for a beat before breaking into uncontrollable laughter, doubling up before collapsing onto a very surprised Thor’s chest.  “Why the hell would you even… where did that… Steve!”  Loki sputtered, still laughing. 

“All right, all right,” Thor said, somewhat embarrassed. “But… well you guys have gotten pretty close very quickly – “  His words were cut off by Loki’s insistent mouth finding his once again, effectively stopping all conversation.

“No,” Loki murmured into his mouth between kisses, as his hands worked to divest Thor of his clothes. “Not Steve and I,” He said lifting his hips to slide off his pants, breaking as little of their contact as possible.  “We both have our sights on other people.” He said smiling as he pressed down, bringing their now naked erections together, wiping all thoughts from both their minds, as they both finally lost themselves in each other, making up for lost time.

. o O o .

“We need to stop doing this.”  Loki said quietly, as he idly traced patterns on Thor’s back.  They were sprawled across Loki’s bed, Thor resting his head low on Loki’s chest. 

They had eventually made it to Loki’s bed, collapsing in a tangle of limbs, both eager and excited, wanting to reach every inch of each other.  Eventually the two had collapsed, exhausted and sated, lazily stroking and kissing until drifting off to sleep.  Loki had awoken first, feeling a conflicting bundle of emotions at finding Thor’s weight settled on top of him. 

Thor stirred above him, but didn’t respond to Loki’s comment, instead coming closer, getting his arms around the other man, squeezing tightly before turning his face down and placing soft kisses all over Loki’s warm flesh.  Loki sighed deeply as he closed his eyes, allowing himself the pure pleasure of this sensation.  He stretched languidly, arching his back, driving a spike of desire through Thor, who swiftly turned and repositioned himself between Loki’s legs, his mouth never leaving Loki’s chest as his hands gripped either side of his torso.  Loki gazed down, a small smile quirking at the corners of his mouth when his eyes met Thor’s. 

“I mean it,” he said, placing a hand on Thor’s shoulder, the other on his head. “We need to stop.”  He carded his fingers through the other man’s hair, enjoying the feel of familiarity.  Thor groaned as he bowed his head and dropped his forehead on Loki’s sternum. 

“Why?” Thor practically whined.  “Why does this need to stop?  It’s what we both want…” he rocked his shoulders slightly, causing the most delicious friction between his chest and Loki’s hardening cock.  “ _You_ seem to be enjoying it…” He said with a wicked smile.

“I – I didn’t say I didn’t enjoy it,” Loki said, trying to collect himself as he slid out from under Thor, grabbing the corner of the sheet and covering his groin, in an attempt to hide his erection.  “but continuing this pointless… thing is unfair to the both of us.  I can’t give you what you want, and you can’t give me what I want.” 

“ _You’re_ what I want!” Thor said fiercely.  He had sat up when Loki had moved away, slowly tensing for another argument.

“Yes, you want me.” Loki said quietly, sitting up as well, knowing this was coming. “You want me hidden away, you want me not talked about, you want me to be your dirty little secret …” He tapered off, looking up at Thor, wishing he would contradict him.  Thor looked down, brow furrowed as he considered his next words. 

“I – I realize that’s what – what it sounds like – what I may be asking…” Thor said haltingly. “But I don’t think of you as a dirty secret!” he said quickly, grasping Loki’s hands.  “I want you, Loki.  I want this… I just – just need more time.” He said quietly, tightening his grip as he gazed into Loki’s eyes. 

 _He’s never going to change._   The captain’s words from a few weeks ago ran through his mind as he regarded Thor.  _He may want this now, just kept secret, but for how long?  Until he tires of me?_ “I don’t know that that would be enough” Loki said shaking his head.  “What you’re proposing; hiding, not living genuinely?  I just couldn’t do that –“ he abruptly stopped talking as Thor suddenly pulled his hands away and stood, running his hands through his hair as he huffed out a sharp laugh.

“Boy, you’re one to talk!” he said sharply as he paced around the room, completely unaffected by his nakedness, gesturing with his arms as he spoke.  “You speak about living genuinely, yet here you are, ensconced in this house, accepting gifts from a guy who _obviously_ wants more than just friendship, yet you conveniently ignore that aspect!” 

“I’m not – There’s nothing – “ Loki started, standing up as well before Thor cut him off.

“You know I’m right!”  Thor said loudly.  “You conveniently point out my shortcomings while all along, you’re being a hypocrite…” Thor stopped talking and pacing at the same time, as if coming to a conclusion.  Deciding something.  “You know what?  Fine.”  He said, walking out of the room.  Loki stood still for a moment, not sure where this was going, before rushing out to follow Thor, grabbing the sheet off the bed and wrapping it around him.  He found him in the living room, mumbling to himself as he picked up his clothes and dressed haphazardly.

“We should really talk about – “ Loki tried.

“You have conditions in place for being with me, then I have them too!” Thor said, roughly pulling on his t-shirt as he hunted for his other shoe.  “The old man creeps me out,” he said, finally locating his shoe and using it to gesture as he spoke.  “As long as he’s around, I don’t want to be with you either.” He said with a nod, satisfied with his ultimatum.  Loki stood with his mouth gaping open, shocked at Thor’s words he supposed, but didn’t bother to say anything more as he quickly put on his other shoe and moved towards the door, grabbing his keys and wallet, which he had thrown on the floor when he had first come in. 

As the front door opened, Loki finally found his voice and spoke out. “Thor, wait…”   

“No, Loki.  I’m done listening.” Thor said, taking a step out before suddenly remembering his original reason for coming here.  He turned to the small table by the front door and grabbed the evidence file, walking out and shutting the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are greatly appreciated!


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No description... just READ! Let me know what you guys think :-)

_Ultimatums!_   Loki thought indignantly, moving around the living room, picking up and tidying as he went.  _Now he’s giving me ultimatums – huh.  How did this get here?_ He thought, picking up the couch cushions and putting them back where they belonged. _He thinks he can judge my actions when he knows perfectly well everything I do I do for Ian – when did this…_ his thoughts stuttered as he righted a toppled lamp, suddenly remembering how it had fallen.  Loki had been pinned up against the wall, his legs wrapped tightly around Thor … wait… they had been on the chair and… or… no…   it had been when they were on the floor, and Loki grasped the leg of a table to gain purchase...  The lamp was on it…  _Wow, we certainly… got around_ , He thought, blushing at the memory.  At the same time, he felt a thrill of lust as he remembered holding Thor, kissing him, _being_ with him…

Loki collapsed on the couch and leaned back, sighing, giving in to his feelings.  He wasn’t really angry at Thor.  No, not really…  _Shit, he’s right_.  Loki thought suddenly, sitting up as he was hit with the reality.  I _am_ being a hypocrite.  He thought as their relationship ran through his mind.  All this time he kept demanding that Thor conform to standards he had set up, never taking into consideration that Thor was giving him everything he was capable of _right now_.  Loki groaned as he dropped his head in his hands.  “I’ve been such a dick!” he said to himself as he thought about how he had so readily accepted Eric’s generosity, using Ian as an excuse, glossing over the fact that Eric wanted _more_ from him… because it was the easiest path.

Being with Thor wouldn’t be easy.  Up until a few months ago, the man was staunchly heterosexual, on his way to marrying his _girlfriend_ , for god’s sake!  It spoke volumes that he was willing to even _try_ to have any kind of relationship with him.  _And that’s exactly what I want._   Loki thought to himself, smiling fondly as he thought of the two of them together, not just sleeping together, but waking up in each other’s arms, sharing their day together, caring for Ian… He could be there for Thor as he struggled with coming out, helping and supporting.  Together.  It would happen, eventually, Loki realized, and he could be a part of it, or he could sulk and demand, and… be without Thor. 

“Okay, that’s not happening.” Loki said to himself out loud as he began pacing.  He’d made such a mess of things, and knew he needed to go to Thor, _Now_ , and tell him… well… that he’d been an idiot!  And that he loved him.  He stopped mid stride relishing how perfect those words sounded in his head, before heading for the bedroom, anxious to get dressed and out as soon as possible. 

As he quickly dressed, calling Bailey at the same time to see if she could watch Ian a little longer, Loki suddenly realized that seeing Thor would have to wait.  _I’ve got to talk to Eric first._   He thought to himself as he sat on the bed.  Loki had been so terrified at the idea of raising Ian, that he grasped at the lifeline Eric had offered, not knowing (or not caring!) what it would do to Thor.  If this was going to work out, he had to show Thor he was serious.  And the best way to do this was to make a clean break from Eric.  _He’ll probably be upset_ , he thought, standing up resolutely and heading out of the bedroom, and Ian would miss his yard, but it would be for the best in the end.  He had always felt a little guilty about stringing Eric along.  This was definitely the best step for everyone, he thought as he drove towards Sapphire Towers.

. o O o .

Well, here I am again, Thor thought as he looked up from the files on his desk, gazing around at the nearly empty precinct.  Before the Towers investigation, he had rarely set foot in the precinct on the weekends.  Now, it seemed he was here more often than not, poring over reed’s notes or reviewing old surveillance videos.  He leaned back in his chair and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to rest his eyes.  After leaving Loki’s, he had headed straight to work, hoping that immersing himself in the job would help him  keep his mind off of Loki.  He was still pretty angry, but now, here, going over the investigation, ( _their_ investigation!) he found he just missed his partner.  As he looked down at the evidence folders laid out before him, he allowed himself to feel somewhat sad that they’d never reviewed this data together.  _Maybe we should make an effort to work on this together_ Thor thought resignedly.  _If the two of us aren’t going to work out, at least we can put our heads together and finally solve this thing!_   He thought, suddenly frustrated.  Maybe putting this to bed could give them some closure…

As he let his gaze wander around the room once more, he noticed the captain was in his office.  Seeing him at work on the weekend wasn’t as big a surprise as the fact that he was pretty dressed up, foregoing his usual jeans and a button down for a charcoal gray suit that very obviously didn’t come off any rack.  _Wow,_ Thor thought smiling a bit, _and here I thought the guy didn’t even own a pair of dress shoes!_   Even as he rose and headed to his boss’ office, preparing to give the other man a hard time, he had to admit the guy looked pretty good all cleaned up.  (He could afford to be generous, now that he knew there was nothing between Steve and Loki!)  As he started walking toward his boss, though, he was surprised to see an equally well-dressed Tony Stark walk into the captain’s office.  Thor approached hesitantly, not wanting to interrupt what he thought must be a meeting about police tech.  When he reached the doorway, though, the greeting died on his lips as he regarded the two men, standing next to each other, inordinately close as they leaned over the desk, looking over some papers.  As Thor watched, Steve reached up and ran his hand up and down Stark’s back absently, almost as if he was unaware he was doing it. _So… The captain and… Stark?_ Thor thought to himself, as so many things suddenly started making sense.  The lack of pronouns on the rare occasions the captain spoke about his home life, his fast and private friendship with Loki… Thor felt a sudden stab of guilt, remembering the times when he was antagonistic towards his boss, his jealousy getting the best of him.  As he stood there pondering, the two men looked up, sensing him at the door.

“Well if it isn’t the mighty Thor!” Tony said with a big smile.  “I’ve heard a lot about you –“

“Hey!” Steve said loudly, trying to drown out his partner, as he straightened, turning to Thor.  “Here on a Sunday?  What’s going on?”

“Going through evidence,” Thor said waving his hand dismissively. “and Feeling underdressed” He said, gesturing at the two of them.

 “Oh,” Steve said looking down at himself and chuckling, “Yeah, we had a brunch thing this morning – “

“Yeah, yeah, he owed me for ditching me yesterday.” Tony said dismissively, moving towards Thor, hand outstretched.  “Tony Stark.  It’s nice to finally meet the man behind the stories!”

“Tony –“ Steve said, a warning in his voice.

“No, that’s okay.” Thor said, taking the outstretched hand as he smiled.  “I’m sure I’ve been the subject of… many a conversation.  It’s nice to meet you too."  He turned to the captain then, still shaking Tony's hand.  "Sorry… about the… wife or girlfriend… question… before…” He stammered, rather at a loss “I didn’t… didn’t know…”

“Easy, big guy, before you hurt yourself” Tony said with a laugh.  “We know about you, you know about us, its all good.  That said, you wanna talk about it?”  Tony spoke quickly, his speed making Thor’s head spin.  He turned a questioning look to his captain, who was standing there, wide eyed, like a deer caught in the headlights.  "Oh come on!" Tony said exasperated, throwing his hands up and taking a step back from Thor. "You and Loki!" He leaned back against the desk next to Steve, smirking.  "Ever since... this!" Tony said, gesturing in Thor's general direction. "I've been dying to get your side of the story, but this guy wouldn't let me –" he said, nudging an elbow into Steve’s ribs. 

“Tony, it’s really none of our business,” Steve said looking at Thor uncertainly.  “I’m Thor’s boss, so this is very inappropriate…” He said before Tony spoke up again.

“Yeah, because you and Loki haven’t dissected this relationship _over and over_.” Tony deadpanned, looking over at Steve while folding his arms across his chest.

“Okay, that’s enough” Steve said, more firmly this time.  “Thor, you came in here for something?”  Steve said, trying to regain control of the conversation. 

“Uh, no,no not really,” Thor said, a little dazed, never having expected to have this conversation with his boss!  _And_ his boss’ boyfriend!  “I was just…” his words trailed off as he tried to gather his thoughts.  “It’s just so fucking frustrating, you know?” He finally said, starting to pace as he spoke.  “We get so close to something, then something else gets in the way.  His stubbornness, my… insecurities, and now fucking Eric!  I still don’t trust the man, no matter what Loki says –”

“Yeah,” Tony said with a chuckle, “That guy’s such an arrogant douchebag, he thinks he’s entitled to everything that crosses his path.” As he spoke, he turned back to the desk, looking down at the papers there, which Thor now noticed were pictures, some of which included Eric.

“They’re from a benefit charity thing we went to last winter,” Steve said, in response to Thor’s questioning look.  “It was a benefit for the Maria Stark Foundation, yet Eric’s PR people managed to make it about him as well.”  Steve and Tony made some more comments on the event, but Steve wasn’t really listening any more, holding one of the pictures right before his face, peering at it closely.  In it, Tony and a couple of other prominent San Diego luminaries flanked Eric.  They stood before a beautiful snow-covered landscape, all bundled up in winter clothes, including…

“Red scarf” Thor said quietly, drawing Tony’s attention.

“Yeah, that guy’s so pretentious,” Tony laughed.  “Do you know, he had the wool for his winter stuff imported from – ”

“Estonia.” Thor said flatly, suddenly slamming the picture down on the desk, surprising the other two men.  “We have to go arrest Eric” He spun around quickly, facing the captain, his shoulders tense, nostrils flaring, a look of fierce determination in his eyes.  Steve was immediately on alert, sensing the urgency.  “He’s the killer.”

“The killer?!?” Tony exclaimed.  “Wait, what?” but no one heard his words, as they were drowned out by Steve’s orders, being called out loudly as he spoke into his radio calling for backup as he and Thor rushed out the door.

. o O o .

 

 

Nothing had really changed since Loki had last been at Sapphire Towers.  He didn’t know why he should be surprised.  It really hadn’t been that long.  Still, the memories that flooded him as he drove into the parking lot made him stop for a moment and take a breath.  The last time he’d been here, He and Thor had been together, Darcy had still been alive.  It felt like a lifetime ago.  As he sat in his car, he thought of how his life had changed from the moment he stepped into this residence.  He had felt so alone and isolated, clinging to his job as the only solid thing in his life.  Now he had Ian to center him, to give him purpose, and he had Thor.  Thor who he loved more than anything and wanted to share a life with… It was these thoughts that propelled him to finally get out of the car.  He was hesitant about speaking to Eric, not wanting to hurt someone who had been such a good friend, but he knew it had to be done.  “Alright, let’s get this over with.”  He said to himself as he got out of the car and headed to the elevator that would take him to Eric’s penthouse floor.

As he walked towards Eric’s door, Loki was surprised to see the door open suddenly, seemingly all by itself.  He stepped through the doorway hesitantly, noting that Eric had been the one who had opened it, as if anticipating his arrival. 

“Eric?” Loki spoke, confused, as the older man walked away without saying a word, turning into the living room without a backwards glance.  _Okay, that was different,_ Loki thought as he stood at the foyer, debating what to do.  He was used to Eric being cordial and solicitous, no matter what the occasion, and this ‘being ignored’ thing put Loki off-balance.  In the end, he followed the older man into the living room, deciding to ignore the lack of greeting.

“I’m sorry… am I interrupting something?” Loki said, noting Eric’s suit and tie.  He looked crisp and polished as he stood by the bar, pouring himself a drink.  The quiet efficiency and coiled power that he exuded once again reminding Loki of how formidable Eric actually was.  Eric looked over, eyebrows raised in question, making Loki elaborate. “You’re all dressed up.” Loki said, gesturing at his outfit.  It looks like you’re heading somewhere.”

“Oh, no,” Eric said with a tight smile, before taking a long pull of his drink.  “There was a brunch this morning… for charity.  One must keep up appearances, after all.” He said breezily as he sat at one couch, gesturing for Loki to sit as well.

“Should I go then?” Loki asked, even as he moved to sit at the other couch, across from Eric.  “If you’d like to relax –”

“Nonsense,” Eric said shortly, sounding almost… impatient?  “It was brunch, nothing unsurmountable.” He downed the remainder of his drink in one gulp before placing the glass on the coffee table and leaning back on the couch.  “Besides, it seems you have something to say?” He said quietly, leveling Loki with a penetrating stare, not offering up any additional comment.

“So… okay…” Loki started, feeling unbalanced once again “I did want to speak to you about something…”

“Oh, I know what you came here to say,” Eric said pleasantly, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees in a very uncharacteristic pose. “Maybe not the exact words,” He allowed with a slight chuckle, “But the gist of it is that, despite what I had originally thought, you’re really no better than all those other degenerates out there.” He finished and sat back with a satisfied smile, as if he had just given the answer to a particularly vexing riddle.

“No, I – I’m – what?” Loki said slowly, trying to catch up.  “What are you talking about?”

“Like all the others!” Eric said laughing delightedly. “And to think I actually thought you were different!  How could I possibly continue any kind of relationship with you, be seen in public with you now?” 

The smile that spread over Eric’s face didn’t reach his eyes, which were as cold and flat as ever.  _Shit, this is where crazy’s been all along!_ Loki thought to himself as he sat up straight.  “Eric, we never – I – I never gave you any indication that there was something between us.  You know that.” Loki said trying to sound as authoritative as possible. “I asked for your help and you –“

“Do you remember what I said to you?” Eric said harshly, cutting Loki off.  “I said I’d be here when you were ready.  I waited, and, eventually, you sought me out.  You. Sought. Me. Out.”

 _What the fuck is going on here?_ Loki thought to himself, feeling as if they were having two completely different conversations.  He had come here, worried about hurting Eric, but now everything seemed off-kilter.  If he was feeling unbalanced before, Eric’s odd behavior had completely knocked him over.  “Eric, what – what are –” Loki tried before the older man spoke up once again. 

“But where are my manners?” Eric exclaimed, standing quickly and moving over to the bookshelf behind Loki.  The detective followed Eric’s movements closely, as he picked up a television remote before continuing, “I haven’t shown you today’s entertainment.” He said, pointing the remote at the far wall of the room, which opened up to reveal a large embedded flat-screen television. “I’m sure you’ll appreciate this”. 

Loki glanced at the large screen from the corner of his eye, not wanting to fully take his eyes off an obviously disturbed and possibly dangerous Eric, but when the screen lit up, displaying the video Eric wanted to play, he whipped his head to fully stare head-on, his face a combination of shock and horror.  On the screen, he saw himself lying naked on the couch, writhing in pleasure, his hands gripping the cushions as he moaned and murmured.  Between his legs, Thor’s head bobbed up and down slowly as he worked Loki’s cock with his mouth while working him open with his hand, humming in pleasure as he caressed whatever parts of Loki’s body he could reach with his other hand.  He could see the flex of Thor’s back muscles as he moved, a glistening layer of sweat covering his naked body.  _I can hear us,_ Loki realized dumbly, the first thought that popped into his head.  _Not only are there cameras (HD color cameras apparently!) in the house, there are microphones as well._ Loki felt a chill as the ramifications of this began to occur to him.  How many cameras?  Where are they?    _This is private!  No one else should see this!_ He thought, as anger suddenly exploded in his head. 

“You’ve been videotaping me, you sick fucking bastard!” Loki ground out through his teeth as he quickly stood, burning with rage, spinning around to face Eric, only to find the man wasn’t standing behind the couch as he had been before the video started.  Loki had just a moment to register this, right before a flash of red crossed his vision, and a constricting tightness suddenly gripped him around the neck.  Loki grasped frantically at the binding as it rapidly clenched tighter and tighter, blocking his oxygen, making his vision begin to tunnel. 

“I thought you were perfect,” Eric huffed out as he struggled to hold Loki, “I could have given you everything, yet you chose… that oaf!” He grunted with the effort as he kept pulling the scarf impossibly tighter. 

Loki’s fingers futilely scrambled for purchase at his neck, as he felt the strength begin to drain from his limbs.  He was becoming weaker, his brain starting to shut down, when Eric’s words hit him like a slap in the face.  _Oaf?!  Who the fuck – This goddamned – oh no, it is NOT ending like this!_   He thought fiercely as he summoned strength reserves from who-knows-where and reached back behind himself, grasping Eric’s head and pulling forward for all he was worth, while at the same time using his own body as leverage as he fell backward.  Eric was caught completely off guard and flipped over Loki, Landing on his back, his head cracking on the corner of the coffee table on his way down.  Loki sat up as quickly as his dazed brain would allow, and was on his knees, yanking the scarf loose on his neck, trying to gulp in air as his body was wracked by hacking coughs.  He moved over to Eric’s prone body, eyeing the quickly growing blood stain on the carpet under his head.  _Shit! It worked!  Wait, did I kill him?_  He thought dizzily, even as he squeezed his eyes shut and open a couple of times to clear his vision.   He was only able to press two fingers to the man’s neck, noting that there was a slight pulse there, before his attention was diverted by a loud bang.  Instinctively, he stood and crouched, tensing for another attack, at this point running on pure adrenaline, even though his vision wasn’t fully back yet. 

 _Obviously, my brain’s not fully back either,_ he thought to himself as he saw Thor, Steve and a contingent of uniformeds storm into the apartment, all shouting at the same time. 

“Loki?” Thor called loudly in surprise, not expecting to see him there.  Loki stood up straight, hacking out a rough cough when he tried to speak.  Thor quickly rushed to his side, dismissively stepping over Eric’s prone body.

John, what…” Steve said, looking down at Eric then back at Loki, shock very apparent on his face.

Loki would tell them everything, eventually, for now he was just grateful that the video on the screen had shut off, that Thor had his arm around him, and that he could finally get this goddamned scarf off his neck.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay kids, here it is... The final chapter! Okay, that's not necessarily true, since there's still an epilogue coming soon. Thank you so much for following so closely. Let me know what you think!
> 
> BTW, artwork on this chapter is a little different than the others... GoLikeThat trying something new?

“I think we’re done here,” Loki said distractedly, trying to move away from the EMTs that were flashing a light in his eye, attempting to examine him.  He was still in Eric’s apartment, along with Steve, Thor and a large contingent of emergency personnel, some of which were now working on Eric, attempting to get him stable.

Immediately upon entering, Thor and Steve had insisted that Loki be looked over by the medics despite his assurances that he was fine, except for some bruises on his neck.  The medics had immediately descended on him, ignoring his protests, and he was forced to only observe as Thor reluctantly left his side and slid right into the role of arresting officer.  Not that Loki begrudged him that.  He was glad Thor could make the collar.  He deserved to.  After all, he was the one who had figured it all out!  Loki winced, chagrined as he was hit with the realization again.  _How the fuck did I miss it?_   He berated himself, not for the first time, absently raising his arm for the medic to attach a blood pressure cuff.  _I spent so much time with him, let Ian spend time with him, and all along…_

“Sir, I’m going to need you to sit down,” the young man said sternly, losing his patience as Loki, who had been craning his neck to get a better look at the goings on over the shoulder of the EMT, suddenly stood up as he saw Eric being wheeled away, Thor following close behind. 

“Sorry, I need to go –” Loki said over his shoulder as he rushed towards the group.  Thor was giving orders to two of the officers as he walked alongside the gurney, heading towards the door.  “What’s his status?” Loki said, falling into step on the gurney’s other side.  Thor abruptly stopped, turning to frown at Loki, causing the EMTs to stop as well. 

“What’re you doing?” Thor said angrily “The EMTs haven’t cleared you yet.”  He glared at Loki from across Eric, his frown deepening.  The reaction first surprised, then angered Loki, who instantly became defensive over being talked to like that.

 _Really?_ Loki thought angrily.  _I nearly get fucking strangled, and THIS is the reaction I get?_   “This is my case too” he said sharply, adopting an all-business attitude.  “After all I’m the one who took him down— ”

“Detective, we need to move.  This man is only temporarily stable.” The First medic said, cutting into their confrontation.

“Yeah, about that –” Thor cut in, ignoring the EMT as he quickly moved around the gurney and rounded on Loki. “What the hell were you thinking coming here alone?” He hissed, grabbing Loki’s arm “To the _murderer’s_ house?” Loki quickly jerked his arm up, effectively throwing off Thor’s arm, his anger ratcheting up at the other man’s behavior.  He took a step back from Thor and raised his hands slightly, instinctively moving into a defensive pose.

“I didn’t _know_ he was a murderer when I came here!” Loki ground out through his teeth, glaring daggers at Thor _.  And by the way, I’m fine, thanks for asking!_  He thought to himself rather petulantly as he breathed heavily, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he brought his arms down.  He was surprised to realize, he was actually fighting the urge to haul out and punch Thor!  Truth be told, he was hurt by Thor’s reaction.  _I’m not saying I need to be coddled, but, shit, he hasn’t even shown any concern about me._

The two men stood staring at each other for a moment, Loki angrily, Thor in wide eyed surprise at Loki’s reaction.  Realizing how he had come across, Thor reached out as if to touch Loki’s arm, when the EMT spoke up.  “Detectives, I have a job to do.  Now is one of you accompanying this suspect or should I speak to Captain Rogers?”  He said impatiently, looking back and forth between the two men.  The words seem to snap Thor back into action.

“Right.” Thor said decisively as he turned towards the gurney, and began walking out with the medical staff before stopping and turning to address Loki.  “I’ll be at the hospital.  Will you be okay here?  Or do you need me to --”

“Go.” Loki said in a conciliatory tone, wanting to show Thor they were okay.  “I’ll stay with forensics while they do their sweep, then see you back at the precinct.” He said with a smile.  There was still so much to be said, and he didn’t want to start things off with a fight. In a rush he realized he had reacted badly to Thor’s behavior.  _I shouldn’t be surprised,_ he reasoned, _it isn’t like I’m a stranger to Thor’s temper, especially when it comes to my safety._   “Besides,” he said suddenly wary, looking over his shoulder.  “There is certain… evidence that I think I should gather personally.  I don’t think I want the entire forensics team… investigating.”  Upon hearing Loki’s cryptic words, Thor hesitated, curious as to what Loki was talking about, but Loki huffed out a laugh, shaking his head as he rubbed his hands over his face, suddenly feeling tired as his adrenaline levels came down.  “Go!  I promise, I’ll tell you all about it later.  You’ll understand what I mean.”  He patted Thor’s arm before taking a step back into the living room.  “I’ll see you later.”  After a beat, Thor gave him a quick nod before turning his attention back to the EMTs, walking out, every inch the Detective once again. 

“Sure you’re okay?” Steve said as he came to stand by him, that worry crease marring his forehead as he studied Loki closely.  "That looks like its purpling up nicely” he said, tilting his head to gesture at Loki's neck.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Loki said, touching his neck gingerly.  “Not much I can do about the color.  Pitfalls of fair skin, I’m afraid.” He mumbled distractedly as he looked around at the team.  "First, I need to dissect Eric's tech and find his media file server,"

 “Someone else can take care of that, you know.  Bruce is on his way over... What?  What did you find" Steve said, his tone and stance changing as he sensed something in Loki's look.

"There are cameras at my house.  In _Eric's_ house." Loki said quietly, not looking in Steve's direction.  "He played some footage for me.  That's... kind of how this whole thing started."  He turned to look at Steve then, noting the shocked/disgusted expression on his face. 

"Jesus," The captain said shaking his head, “What a fucking lunatic!”

"Yeah… Don’t think I’m ready for our co-workers to know Thor and me that well,” He said, trying for humor.  “I've got to find the – Jemma!" He exclaimed, grabbing the surprised officer as she was walking by, carrying what looked like a large black box.  "I need to talk to you about what you might find in that server” Loki said, walking her over to a side table.   

“And while you’re at it, you can fill me in on what happened here today,” Steve said, joining the two techs and directing his gaze at Loki, who took a deep breath and started talking.

. o O o .

 _It COULD happen,_ Thor thought, contemplating the ambulance’s door as they rode to the hospital.  _That door COULD accidentally fly open, and the gurney COULD accidentally fly out, depositing Eric on the Freeway…_ Okay, no.  Probably not the best idea to kill the suspect no matter how utterly _pissed_ Thor was at him!  Despite the fact that just moments ago, this man lying unconscious before him tried to kill Loki…  Thor swallowed thickly as he fought to control the bile in his throat, his hands suddenly shaking so much that he gripped the bench under him until he regained control.  He looked down at the older man, lying unconscious before him.  He had a pretty bad head injury, and a concussion, from the looks of it, but nothing life-threatening.  _You don’t know how lucky you are_ , Thor thought, scowling down at Eric, not sure the older man would have survived had Thor gotten his hands on Eric today.

Every time he allowed himself to think about what could have happened… But Loki was fine!  He was more than fine, he had taken Eric down all by himself!  Thor smiled despite the circumstances, as he imagined what that must have been like.  He felt a warmth flow through him as he thought of his partner, his strength, his intelligence… _not to mention, my partner’s kind of a badass!_   He thought to himself as he laughed suddenly, feeling his love and affection for Loki flow through him, making him feel almost giddy.  He needed to see Loki, hold him, touch him and assure himself that he was alright. 

As the ambulance doors opened, Thor jumped out after the gurney, and actually took a couple of steps away from the hospital before remembering he still had a job to do.  “Okay, let’s get this asshole processed.” He told the EMTs as they rushed into the doors of the emergency bay. “I’ve got things to do.”

. o O o .

Arriving at the precinct, Steve and Loki were surprised to see a flurry of activity at the entrance.  The place was abuzz with legal teams, staff from the Mayor’s office and, of course tons of reporters, all wanting to get information on Eric and the Towers Investigation.  “We ask for your patience, and we’ll have a statement for you shortly.” The captain said from the door before entering the precinct, shutting the door.  “How the fuck did they get here so fast?” The captain muttered as he and Loki rushed to the elevator, heading to homicide. 

“I have a pretty good idea,” Loki said, thinking about his former neighbors at Sapphire towers, and their penchant for Tweeting and Instagramming. 

“Well, it’s done.” Steve said, rubbing his face tiredly.  “You should go.” He said turning to face his friend.  “Go be with Ian, and take some time.  I think Bruce will be okay with—” Their conversation was cut off as the elevator doors opened and a loud voice called out.

“Loki!” Thor said, rushing over to the elevator, where Loki was exiting warily.  _Crap!_ He thought, watching Thor. _I really don’t want to have this fight here…_ His thoughts stuttered to a halt, though, as Thor reached out and embraced him, enveloping him in a warm hug as he buried his face in the dark locks, inhaling as his shoulders relaxed.  Loki’s arms came up automatically, patting Thor uncertainly on the back, expecting him to pull away quickly.  Instead, Thor’s arms lingered, rubbing lightly at Loki’s back.  He pulled back slightly as he brought his hands up to the sides of Loki’s face.  “How are you?”  He said, peering intently into Loki’s eyes as his thumbs rubbed circles along Loki’s jaw.  As his gaze traveled down to Loki’s neck, a frown creased his forehead and he ran fingers gently along the bruised skin there, while his other arm wrapped around Loki’s waist. “I’m so sorry… Sorry I wasn’t there and you had to go through that alone…” He spoke the last words in a whisper as he wrapped both arms around Loki once again, pulling him in close once again.

“Um, what’s… Thor, what are you doing?” Loki said, bewildered as he felt Thor’s lips press against his temple, before dragging down to his ear.  His eyes began to flutter closed, of their own volition, until he remembered where they were.  “Thor, we’re surrounded by people, here” Loki hissed suddenly.  He glanced around, noticing people casting curious glances their way.  No one said anything, but they weren’t exactly hard to miss!  Loki tried to take a step back, anticipating Thor would come to his senses and pull away soon.

“Of course we’re surrounded by people,” Thor said with a smirk “Haven’t you heard?  Apparently, this big high profile case was just solved today.  Very big news –”

“They’re gonna… talk” Loki said, squirming slightly, trying for a normal stance, as if embracing your work partner was the most normal thing in the world.

“I could have lost you today,” Thor said, once again clasping Loki’s face with both hands, a slight wobble in his voice as he spoke. “Just thinking of what could have happened… I don’t know what I’d do… Life’s too short.  It’s not worth it.” He said smiling, before leaning in and covering Loki’s mouth with his, kissing him sweetly, right there, in front of everyone at homicide. 

The shock that Loki felt lasted for all of a second before he gave in and melted into Thor’s kiss, conveying all the love, commitment and understanding he could through their connection.  It wasn’t long before the whistles and cat-calls began, along with calls of ‘finally!’ and ‘get a room!’, but they didn’t separate until Loki felt a tap on his shoulder and heard a nervous throat clearing. 

“Guys… still at work here!” Steve said, a tone of fond exasperation coloring his words.  He turned his attention to Thor, who reluctantly pulled away from Loki, but resolutely kept his hand on Loki’s lower back.  “What’s the status?”

“Suspect’s stable, but still unconscious.” Thor said seriously. “He’s secured.  Baker’s standing by, he’ll let me know as soon as he wakes up, then read him his rights, although, we’re not sure when that’s gonna happen,” He turned to grin proudly at Loki then, “He was pretty soundly knocked on his ass earlier!” He then pulled Loki in towards him and kissed his temple, not being able to stop himself. 

“Oh, just get the hell out of here!” Steve said, throwing his arms up and turning towards his office.  “Take a day.  Then maybe you can read the department’s policy on PDAs!”  He said, closing the door to his office.

“Yeah, he’s – we’d –” Loki began, as he tried to unwrap Thor’s arms from around his waist “we’d better get – Thor would you cut it out!” Loki finally said, exasperated, as Thor dodged his every effort to disentangle himself, planting kisses on Loki’s hair, even as he smiled at Loki’s attempts.  He finally got a hold of Thor’s hand and led him back into the elevator, while some of their co-workers clapped and hooted.  For a moment, Loki was worried that the attention would upset Thor, but as they entered the elevator, Thor turned towards the room at large and took an exaggerated bow, acknowledging the applause.

“Alright, back to work people! Thor called out, “Show’s over for today, but Loki and I’ll be back in a couple of da – ow!” He exclaimed as Loki yanked him back into the elevator just before the doors closed.  “Hey, I was still talking!” Thor said with feigned indignation. “I’m frankly a little shocked at your behavior.  One might say you’re ashamed or embarrassed of us” He said with a raised eyebrow and a half smile, showing that he was trying for levity. 

“No, I’m not” Loki said evenly, knowing Thor was trying to be funny, but not quite ready to relax yet, still a little wary.  “Thor, are you sure?” He said clasping the blond’s forearms and looking into his eyes.  “You DO realize you just came out?  You came out to your co-workers!  Not everyone’s going to react like that” he gestured over at the elevator door, indicating the precinct.  “We’re gonna deal with a lot of criticism _.  You’re_ gonna deal with a lot of criticism…” He was suddenly enveloped once again in a warm hug, effectively cutting off his words.

“And we’ll deal with it together,” Thor said with a shrug, looking completely unconcerned.  He leaned in and placed a hard, fast kiss to Loki’s lips, before continuing.  “I thought I knew where my life was going, what the future held, but this? You and Ian…” He gestured at Loki, suddenly at a loss for words.  The elevator doors opened, but neither made a move to leave.  Thor swallowed twice before he was finally able to continue.  “You and Ian are all I need.”  Loki reached out and grasped the back of Thor’s head, entwining his fingers in the blond hair as he pulled him into a slow, searing kiss, trying to say everything he wasn’t able to articulate with words.  The other man embraced him readily, only to pull back when the elevator alarm sounded, startling them both.

“Okay, let’s get out of here.  I think we’ve drawn enough attention to ourselves,” Loki muttered as they walked over to Thor’s car.  There was still much to be taken care of.  Dealing with Eric and the investigation alone was going to be a daunting, plus there was the matter of finding a place to live!  But as they walked to the car and Thor dropped an arm across Loki’s shoulder, he realized nothing seemed impossible if he had Thor by his side


	40. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! the final piece of the puzzle. Don't hate me! Blame GoLikeThat, who insisted on this epilogue. >:-)

“I don’t know buddy,” Thor was saying doubtfully, “I don’t think adding Cap’n Crunch will make the pancakes crunchy.” He stood at the kitchen counter, stirring pancake batter while Ian stood on a step stool next to him, holding out a box of cereal.

“Ya, is crunchy in the bowl!” He said with a smile, shaking the box for emphasis. Thor watched Ian for a second, caught off guard by the flood of affection he felt at hearing the boy’s happy laughter.  It happened all the time now, and at the most unexpected moments.  Thor had been nervous when Ian and Loki had first moved in.  Having never lived with a child, he was worried that he’d somehow say or do the wrong thing and screw it up, but he had been pleasantly surprised at how effortlessly their lives had melded together.  Now, watching Ian sleep, or playing in the park, or leaning to swim, Thor would suddenly think _God I love this kid!_ And he’d have to stop and get himself together for a moment before continuing. 

 “Okay, then,” Thor said laughing as he leaned over and placed a kiss on Ian’s head, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Cereal in the pancakes it is.  Your dad’s probably gonna kill me, but…”

“What?  What’d you do?” Loki said, walking into the kitchen.  He grabbed a mug from the cupboard, kissing both Thor and Ian before pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“pancakes!” Ian said, pouring cereal into the batter.  Loki turned to Thor, eyebrows raised in question. 

“Wait, _this_ is what you put in the pancakes?!” Loki said with a frown, holding up the sugary cereal box. 

“Just this once,” Thor said with a shrug, a smile on his face, as he began pouring batter on the griddle.

 “Cuz It’s a nana-ber-sry” Ian said, bouncing up and down as he looked up at Loki. “Tor said”.

A slight blush bloomed on Thor’s face as he spoke “Yep,” he said, flipping a pancake as he glanced at Loki from the corner of his eye. “You guys moved in exactly one month ago today.  My assistant here and I felt the occasion warranted a special breakfast.”

The words were spoken casually, but Loki could see the anxiousness in Thor’s stance.  _He’s nervous!_   Loki realized with a start.  Something fluttered in his chest as he gazed at his boyfriend ( _boyfriend?!_ ) fondly.  _I don’t think he could be more adorable if he tried_ , Loki thought, even as he cringed inwardly at how sappy he’d become. 

It _had_ been a month since Loki and Ian had moved in, one month since they had invaded Thor’s space and overrun his life.  After Eric had been arrested, forensics had shown Loki the hours of footage Eric had amassed of him and Ian.  He had been so angered and disturbed by the blatant invasion of privacy, that he immediately packed bags, resolving to stay at a hotel for the night, not wanting to impose on Thor.  Even after forensics assured him that all the cameras had been taken down, the thought of staying in that house one more night had filled him with dread.

“Loki, you’re not staying at a hotel.” Thor said adamantly the moment he’d heard his partner’s plans.  “You both’ve been through a lot.  Besides, Ian doesn’t need the additional stress of a strange place.”  They had been standing in the front yard of Eric’s little house, waiting for Bailey to drop Ian off after a long day of wrapping things up and tying loose ends.  Thor wrapped an arm around Loki, who was about to protest.  “Come ooon! Humor me,” he said with a smile as he squeezed Loki to him, kissing his temple as he spoke. 

In the end, Loki had relented and they had moved in, Loki fully intending on making it temporary, just until he found a place of their own.  Now, a month later, he still worried about overstaying their welcome.  _Granted, the having sex practically every night part is pretty amazing!_ Loki thought with a smile as he glanced at Thor’s broad shoulders as he worked.  But even that paled in importance to falling asleep in Thor’s arms every night.  He would certainly miss that when they moved out.  _This can’t be easy for him_ , Loki thought as he watched Thor and Ian arrange pancakes on plates, making a big production about setting the table.  Thor had never lived with anyone, and now suddenly he was sharing his personal space with two people, one of them a child.  In the span of a few months, he had gone from confirmed bachelor to instant family!  _He does seem to love the kid_ , Loki thought, smiling fondly at the two.  He’d been wary of Ian’s reaction to moving out of the house at first, but he needn’t have worried.  Ian had squealed in delight and jumped into Thor’s arms upon hearing the news, thrilled at the prospect of being around his playmate.

“Come on, Daddy, we maked breakfast for us!” Ian said, running up to Loki and pulling him towards the table.  Loki allowed himself to be pulled along, sitting at the chair Thor was holding out for him.

“Um, okay,” Loki said, laughing as he allowed Ian to hand him a fork and napkin, while Thor laid a plate in front of him with a flourish.  “But you have to go wash your hands first, okay?” he said turning to Ian.  “and grab our backpack.”

“Kay,” Ian said, running towards the bathroom.

“That kid only has two settings,” Thor deadpanned, watching him dart out of the room. “sleeping and running.” As he spoke, he turned towards Loki, wrapping a hand around his neck as he leaned down, placing a soft kiss to his lips.  He had intended it to be a quick thing, but Loki quickly wound his arms around Thor’s neck, deepening the kiss as he clung to the larger man pulling himself up until he was standing, plastered against Thor’s chest.

“You do realize it’s Monday?” Loki murmured as their lips separated.  “We have to go to work… Ian has daycare…” he said as he slowly trailed a line of kisses down Thor’s neck, which were quickly reducing his boyfriend into a panting mess. 

“Still early…” Thor sighed, his eyes fluttering closed. “Still – still time for breakfast…” His hands, which were slowly wandering down Loki’s body as he spoke, were caught by Loki right before they reached his ass. 

“Hey, hey!” Loki said with a laugh as he took a step back, still holding Thor’s wrists.  “We don’t have _that_ much time!”  He leaned in, placing a quick peck on Thor’s lips.

“’Kay ready,” Ian said, running in, throwing his backpack on the floor, then attempting to climb into the chair with his booster seat.  Thor quickly came up behind him and picked him up, swinging him up high and making him giggle before carefully sitting him in his chair and pulling his plate towards him.

“Okay my friend,” Thor said, leaning down and placing a kiss on Ian’s head. “Eat your breakfast so we can get you to school.”  As he sat and began to eat, he noticed Loki was looking down at his phone, answering a text from the looks of it.  As Thor watched, Loki looked up, meeting his quizzical gaze and wincing guiltily, surprised at being watched.

“An’ then we play baseball?” Ian asked between bites, completely oblivious to whatever was going on in the room.

“Um, yeah, sure buddy.” Thor said distractedly, still watching Loki with concern.  “Everything all right?” he murmured, trying to sound casual, but failing miserably.

“Yes, I just have a couple of… addresses to look at today.” Loki said slowly, uncertain how much he should say in front of Ian.  He hadn’t reacted very well the last time Loki had mentioned moving out to their own place, and he didn’t want to ruin the happy mood of the morning.  He had been bathing the boy a couple of days previously, when he had casually asked how Ian would like it if the two of them moved into a house with a yard again.  The boy’s face had crumpled at the comment, saying he didn’t want to leave Thor.  “I’ll just pick Ian up early and –”

“Nooo!” Ian wailed suddenly.  “Want Tor t’pick me up.  Then we play baseball.” He said with certainty, looking at the two men expectantly.

“Sure, I’ll pick you up Ian,” Thor said with a smile, reaching out and ruffling the boy’s hair before turning to Loki with a frown.  “What… addresses… ” he had to stop for a moment and gather his thoughts before continuing.  “I didn’t know you were – I mean, I knew that you – I didn’t know you had actual addresses lined up.”  he stammered, trying to keep the panic he was feeling from showing up in his voice.  _This is really happening,_ he thought incredulously.  _They’re moving out._  

“Yeah, these two places look… pretty good.” Loki said with a shrug, looking down at his plate, suddenly very interested in his breakfast.  _And I want you to come with us_ , he thought plaintively, before he even realized it was coming.  He couldn’t look Thor in the eye at the moment, afraid that the longing would be too present in his eyes.  “Thanks for getting Ian today, by the way.”

Thor supposed he knew this was coming eventually.  He and Loki had both understood that this situation was going to be temporary, and Loki and Ian would at some point be moving out.  _Then why am I so fucking freaked out right now?_ He thought as he watched Loki, who looked so calm and sure of himself.  “Well, what’s the rush?” Thor said overly casually, “I mean, unless it’s a really good deal, I don’t see why you need to jump at the first place that comes along.  After all,” he said in a rush, “You’ll want to make sure it’s perfect before you move Ian in –”

“I don’ wanna move!” Ian suddenly exclaimed, causing the two men to turn to him in surprise.  He stared back at them, looking wide-eyed and frightened.  “Wanna stay wi’ Tor.” He said rather quietly, looking back and forth between the two men.  Loki groaned, leaning his face into the palm of his hand as he closed his eyes, shaking his head. 

 _Okay, that was kind of a dick move,_ Thor thought guiltily as he rubbed Ian’s shoulder soothingly.  “Don’t worry buddy,” Thor muttered, “We’re just talking.”  He’d intentionally included Ian in the conversation, knowing full-well that the subject of moving would upset the kid, and in turn hopefully dissuade Loki from the moving talk.  “It’s probably not a good idea to bring that up right now,” Thor said to Loki, jerking his head gesturing towards Ian.  “He’s been through a lot recently.  Maybe you should table the move for a little while.  You know, just until he’s ready… ”

 _So… he doesn’t want us to leave?_   Loki thought giddily.  _At least for now…_ He told himself firmly, willing himself to be realistic _.  It hasn’t been that long, after all.  We’re still a new thing.  It doesn’t mean he won’t change – oh for god’s sake, will you stop overanalyzing!_   He told himself angrily.  “I suppose I _could_ wait…” Loki finally said, adopting a contemplative look, pretending to ponder the idea, while actually doing backflips inside.  “I’ll cancel the appointments.”

“Good,” Thor said simply, as he cleaned up some stray pancake off of Ian’s chin.  He was facing the boy, so Loki couldn’t see him struggle to suppress the huge grin that was trying to bloom on his face.

 “A’ finish’d, Tor” Ian called out, raising both hands up in the air.

“Let’s get you cleaned up then.” Thor said standing and pulling Ian out of his chair. Just then, Thor’s phone, which was on the table beside Loki, began ringing.  Loki picked it up, looking at the screen.

“Here, I’ll take him,” he said standing and handing Thor his phone.  “Your boss wants to talk to you.  Okay big guy” he said, grasping Ian’s shoulder, “Let’s get you cleaned up and ready for school.  I’m no expert, but I don’t think wearing syrup on your face is gonna fly.” He said as he guided Ian out of the room, leaning over to give Thor a quick kiss as he passed him by. 

“Eew, gross daddy!” Ian said, making gagging noises and giggling as Loki tickled him.  Thor leaned against the table and watched them with a goofy smile on his face before turning his attention to his phone.  “You’d better not be calling me to come in early,” he spoke into the phone, not bothering to greet the caller.  At the same time, he idly noted that his doorbell was chiming. 

“Eric’s gone.” Steve said, quickly, also not bothering with a greeting.

“What?” Thor said, quickly standing, shock evident in his voice.

“The tracking bracelet alert went off this morning.  We thought he was trying to run, so patrol went out to pick him up.  The bracelet was in a garbage truck, on its rounds.  Not sure how he got it off, just that is was active and working properly when they found it. 

“Where – what – what’s being done?” Thor said, releasing the grip on the chair that he stood before.  He needed to get a hold of himself and think clearly.  There was obviously a job to do.

“We’ve got units at the airport and borders, but we don’t know how much of a head start he has.  The roads–”

“Have them begin a check on his place.” Thor said, picking up his jacket and holster. “There might be something there –”

“Thor, you’re not listening to me.  Eric’s _gone_.  The fucker’s one of the richest men in the country.  He can make himself disappear.  What worries me is, He wanted us to know he was gone, otherwise he wouldn’t have thrown the damned thing in the trash.  He’s up to something …” Thor stopped listening and was momentarily frozen in terror as he heard Loki’s voice coming from the living room. 

“Oh my god!”

Thor ran into the other room, not knowing what he’d find there.  He quickly scooped Ian up, clutching him to his side with one arm as he approached Loki anxiously.  “What? What is it?” he said quickly, running a hand over Loki’s back and arm, almost as if wanting to reassure himself that there weren’t any injuries.  It wasn’t until then that he noticed Loki was holding a large black portfolio case, holding it open, wearing a dazed look of shock on his face.  Wordlessly, he pulled out what looked like a piece of artwork from the bag, no bigger than about two by two and a half feet, surrounded by a very ornate frame.  It wasn’t until Loki carefully placed the piece flat on the coffee table that the hairs on the back of Thor’s neck stood on end.  In the frame, behind glass, was the unmistakable image of two young girls.  Ballerinas.  Thor would know that piece anywhere.  It was hanging in the condo he and Loki shared at Sapphire Towers.  The Degas.  _Holy shit, that thing’s worth millions!_ Thor thought, slightly panicked.  “Is – is that – “ Thor sputtered, not quite sure what to say. 

“A courier delivered it,” Loki whispered, speaking almost reverently, as he lightly touched the glass over the   delicate pastel painting.  “I don’t know who sent it.” Even as he said the words, Loki realized that wasn’t true.  Eric.  His last contact with Eric had been at the condo, when he’d tried to strangle him.  Afterwards, Thor and the other homicide detectives had taken lead on his arrest and consequent arraignment, while Loki’s only involvement was as one of his victims.  Everyone had been disappointed when his team of high-priced lawyers had managed to secure a release under house arrest for the man, alleging his ‘poor health’ (never mind that he had nearly rendered Loki unconscious!), but he was so obviously guilty, that they all figured it would only be a matter of time before he’d be in a cell permanently. 

Just then, his phone buzzed, indicating a text.  Loki tore his gaze away from the piece, directing his attention to his phone.  As he read the words on his screen, a feeling of unease fell over Loki and it was like Eric was in the room all over again.

**I always knew it was your favorite.  Beauty deserves beauty.  Consider it an apology for any distress I may have caused you, and something to remember me by.  Sadly, circumstances necessitate my departure, but rest assured, you will ALWAYS be in my thoughts.  -E**

The end?


End file.
